2
Tamara: What’s YFGM?
Me: shrugging emoji
Me: Was it Josie?
Tamara: shrugging emoji
Gabby: shrugging emojishrugging emoji
Samantha: shrugging emojishrugging emojishrugging emoji
Sassy brats.
Me: You guys have to try harder. I’m on to you now.
Samantha: Doubtful.
Gabby: laughing tears emoji
I shoved my phone between the couch cushions and sighed in frustration. This was going to drive me nuts.
Was someone stealing my identity, or was it all just a prank to get me wound up? I should have waited until everyone was home. Tamara had the most obvious tells when she was hiding something. All I’d have to do was wait until she came home from work on Tuesday night, exhausted and cranky, had yanked off her bra and made a nest of blankets on her bed to curl into while reading horse magazines and eating cookies—rice crisps if she was feeling fat. Her guard would be down and I’d see her blush, or act overly innocent, avert her eyes—anything that would tell me there was something to dig for.
But no, I’d jumped the gun and had no idea if she was in on it. Whatever this was.
My phone beeped with the horse neigh sound that meant a text from Tamara. I dug the phone out of the cushions and read the text she’d sent to only me.
Tamara: Probably junk mail. Ignore it.
Junk mail was such a boring theory. I wanted it to be more. It had to be more.
Me: Someone is messing with me.
Tamara: I don’t think it’s the girls.
Me: Well, I wish I knew. It’s driving me crazy emoji.
Tamara: You’re so impatient.
She was a big proponent of wait-and-see. Me? I got itchy just thinking about having to wait this one out. I wanted to know now.
Tamara: Google the return address.
Smart. Wait. There was also a phone number on the invoice. I could get answers even faster.
Me: I’ll call them!
Tamara: No! What if it’s a scam? They want you to call them, because it’s some sort of reverse charging system where it’ll cost you a hundred dollars a minute.
Me: It’s a 1-800.
Tamara: Don’t do it! It’s got to be a scam—phishing for personal data. They want you to call! Don’t answer anything anything they ask with a ‘yes’ or they’ll record you and edit the conversation to make it seem like you agreed to whatever their scam is.
Me: Your mom has made you paranoid. I’m calling.
Her mom watched way too many news stories about bad things, and was the number one target for dramatic clickbait headlines. Then she’d call us up and warn us about whatever she’d heard or read about. She used to video call us, but then she got worried that someone was going to hack our call and use artificial intelligence to create an avatar that mimicked her and then scam all of her family and friends. She’d even created a secret word so we’d know if we were talking to the real human version of her or not.
Tamara: I checked maps. No 1010B on 10 Avenue! SCAM!
Me: Bet it’s a super secret nightclub. This has Sam’s name all over it.
Samantha was my role model in so many ways. She was an inspiring rolling stone of adventure. She was always aware of the next hot club, and by the time I’d heard of it, she was already on a first name basis with the bouncer and cutting to the front of the line. She wasn’t waiting for life to find her. Nope, she chased it down and made it submit.
Holding the invoice, I typed the phone number into my phone. I was not going to turn into a smoking ball of impatience! I was getting to the bottom of this, and if not, I would at least prove to my pranking roomies that I wasn’t always the overly trusting country bumpkin.
Shaking my head, I scoffed at myself. The whole agency got the day off… Seriously? Was I really that self-centred or gullible?
Time to prove I wasn’t that woman and get to the bottom of this mess.
Tamara: I don’t know… I get a weird feeling about this…
I ignored her text and hit the green button to connect me to the YFGM phone number.
“Hello,” said a chirpy voice, and I almost replied before realizing it was a recording. “You have reached the offices of YFGM, Your Fairy Godmother. Have a great day.” Beep.
I sucked in a startled breath. Fairy Godmother?
Seriously?
I started laughing. This was already the best prank yet.