21. ~ Char ~
CHAPTER 21
~ Char ~
I sighed, leaning against the closed apartment door, fingers to my tingling lips. I was still in awe of how quickly James and I were moving.
He’d dropped me off, and we’d kissed out front until Randy’s stupid sports car alarm had started blaring. Seriously, nobody had even come within a few feet of the vehicle.
James and I had spent hours at Prince’s Island Park, cheering on runners as they crossed the finish line before heading to the beer gardens and listening to the DJ. I’d loved that James had paused to cheer on the last runners, the ones who were at the back of the pack, and who’d barely finished. Could the man make me love him more?
At one point, I’d thought of Estelle’s payback chant while cheering, going over it a few times in my head. Then, realizing it was pulling me from truly being there and enjoying James and the silliness of what we were doing, I let it go and rode the wave of fun.
I shook my head at myself. I’d been giddy and happy as well as a little bit silly. James had rolled with it, encouraging it. I’d told him some bad dad jokes, and he’d claimed they were worse than his dad’s. It had made me think of his mom and how sweet she’d been, teaching me a few quick stitches while fixing my shirt and then sending me home with a tiny kit of my own.
I’d then furiously buried the thought, trying not to think about what kind of man would keep a woman who didn’t fit with his family when he was obviously super close with them.
I texted James a goofy gif of a woman running in a marathon with a giant margarita and told him I was already training for our next run. Then I leaned my head against the door, eyes closed, allowing myself to feel the swell of sweetness thinking about the best moment of the night. We’d been dancing with people dressed up as dogs, doing silly dances like the mashed potato, and he’d pulled me into his arms, saying with affection, “You can have fun anywhere, can’t you?”
It had felt like I’d passed some sort of test. One I’d been studying for all my life.
“Did you wish for it? The grant?” Tamara demanded, and I startled, finding her standing at the top of the stairs, arms crossed like an angry mother waiting for her curfew-breaking daughter.
I started up the stairs, considering my argument. I sufficed with a simple, “Yes.”
James and I had returned our kitty ears when we left, but my whiskers and nose were still drawn in place and I waited for Tamara to comment on them. That or the obvious high I was riding upon.
But she stayed quiet, chewing on her bottom lip.
“Have you been waiting for me to come home?” I asked when I reached the top.
“I’ve been freaking out since you and James left.”
“I’m sorry.” Unable to hold it in any longer, I grinned, saying, “I think we’re dating.”
Tamara pulled me into a fierce, quick hug. “I’m so happy for you! He’s a keeper.”
The idea of keeping him, and him keeping me sent a spear of unwanted reality through my bubble of happiness. It was best not to think about the future.
Tamara released me, still looking tense, despite her happiness for me. Feeling bad for how she’d been stressing out over my wish that had gotten us the land grant, I tried to explain myself. “Making a wish for the grant has to be cheaper than buying the land on my own. Especially since I don’t have the money, and the grant was unlikely to come through in time. This is a win-win, right now situation, and sets me up for getting the karmic ball rolling.”
“But we banned wishing! And you don’t even have the money to pay Estelle for old wishes. And now you’ve added a new one that costs who knows how much!”
I swallowed hard, surprised by Tamara’s passion. “I’m playing the long game.”
“It’s risky!”
“Tam-Tam. It’s a little debt for a big gain.”
“What if the park doesn’t work?”
I felt a twinge of doubt. “It kind of has to.”
“But if it doesn’t?”
“Can’t I just wish it into working?”
“No! You’re about to buy two lots and sign agreements with the grant agency. Did you ever consider that the money might have worked out for us either way?”
“Er. No.” Could we have gotten the grant without the cost of making a forbidden wish? The agency had seemed pretty excited about our project. What if that was genuine, and I hadn’t needed to put Estelle on the case to get them to release the money to us?
“It feels like we’re playing with fire.” She wrapped her arms around her middle. “I’m scared, Char.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Your wishes impact other people and their lives, too. There must be ripple effects with every wish. You need to stop interfering with fate, and just be happy with the life you have. Because what if Estelle makes a mistake? What if you’re breaking rules by making wishes that are related to paying off your debt?”
My body went hot, then cold at the thought that I’d missed a vital loophole, kind of like with being able to put both good and bad karma onto my account with Estelle. Had I possibly broken some rules and danced through a forbidden zone? And for what gain? Possibly more debt and trouble?
I blinked at Tamara, processing the idea that my wish habit could be interfering with fate. What if fate would’ve found a way to hand me the same cards, wish or no wish?
If I was influencing the future, was it possible that I was ruining my own life, sending it spinning off down a different tangent instead of the one intended for me?
And if I was, was I doing the right thing for my future self, or was I shortchanging myself—my imagination more limited than that of the Universe or whomever was in control? What if it was my own actions that were wronging my life so terribly?
My hand flew to my lips. What if I’d unconsciously wished for James to kiss me? What if none of tonight was what he wanted? What if he was under a spell?