Chapter Ten
Alannah
The room is bright enough now that I decide there’s no point lying here anymore. It’s not as if I’m going to fall asleep anyway.
I kick free of the blankets tangled around my legs after a night of tossing and turning and push myself upright, too restless with nerves and excitement to stay still any longer. In a few hours, I’ll walk down the aisle at St. Brigid’s with Da beside me and Ronin waiting at the altar.
Today is my wedding day.
Across the room, my dress hangs from the wardrobe door, a little ivory silk and lace showing beneath the garment bag.
It’s been waiting there for weeks, and every time I passed it, that tiny glimpse was enough to stop me.
I wanted to touch it, to lift the cover and look at the whole thing again, but I was too afraid I’d somehow ruin it before the wedding.
So I kept telling myself I only had to wait a little longer. And now it’s finally here.
I fall back into the pillows and cover my face with my hands, laughing into them. I can’t believe it. After all this time, all the waiting, I’m marrying Ronin today. It’s actually happening.
There’s a knock at the door, and I sit up quickly, pulling my hands from my face.
Before I can answer, Mam comes in, still in her dressing gown, her hair set in rollers.
She’s carrying a cup of tea, and she sets it carefully on the vanity before sitting beside me on the edge of the bed and pulling me into her arms. “Oh, my girl,” she says, her voice catching as she holds me tighter.
“I can’t believe you’re getting married today. ”
Her words make my throat tighten without warning.
Not because I don’t want this. I do. But with Mam’s arms around me and her voice thick beside my ear, it hits me all at once that after today, everything will change.
I’ll always be Mam and Da’s daughter, always their little girl, but I won’t only be that anymore.
I’ll be a wife too, and nothing will ever be quite the same.
I press my face into her shoulder and hold on, breathing in the familiar scent of her lavender soap.
I know I’ll see her again. Nothing is really ending, not truly.
But that doesn’t stop the ache in my chest or the burn in my eyes before the tears spill over.
I pull back, letting out a small, embarrassed laugh as I swipe at my cheeks with the back of my hand. “Sorry. I didn’t think I was going to cry.”
Mam smiles at me, her own eyes shining with tears, and brushes her thumb beneath my eye.
“I figured you’d be awake,” she says, but her smile fades when she sees how tired I look.
“Aw, love. You didn’t get a wink of sleep, did you?
” She presses a kiss to my forehead, and I feel her draw a shaky breath before she lets me go.
“Everyone will be here soon,” she says, taking my hand.
“Come on, then. Up you get. We’d better get started. ”
She leads me to the vanity, and I sit, taking a sip of the tea while she unties the ribbon from the end of last night’s braid and works it loose with her fingers.
My hair falls in waves over my shoulders, and she starts at the ends, brushing through the tangles.
“I didn’t sleep the night before I married your da either,” Mam says.
“I remember, every time I closed my eyes, I’d think of something else that might go wrong.
By morning, I’d convinced myself he’d be late to the church.
” She laughs. “He wasn’t, of course, but I’d never seen him look as nervous as he did standing at the altar waiting for me. ”
I set my tea down and let my eyes fall closed while Mam keeps talking. Between her voice and the brush moving through my hair again and again, I don’t realize I’ve drifted off until a knock on the doorframe has me blinking awake.
When I lift my eyes to the mirror, I find Eileen in the doorway with her sister, Deirdre, close behind her.
Both are dressed much like Mam, in dressing gowns, their hair pinned up in curlers.
Maggie, Deirdre’s daughter and my maid of honour, follows in a dressing gown too, though her makeup is already done and her hair is pinned into a low chignon.
All three of them look as excited as I feel, and seeing them crowd into my room makes me even more glad Mam asked them to come early so we could all get ready together.
“Just a minute, Mam,” I say, rising to greet them, but Eileen is quicker. I’m barely on my feet before she’s there, gathering me into her arms.
“There’s my daughter-in-law,” she murmurs, holding me tight. “How are you holding up?” she asks as she eases back and searches my face.
“I’m okay,” I say, giving her a small smile I hope will reassure her.
But Mam laughs behind me. “She barely slept.”
Eileen gives me a knowing look. “Ronin didn’t either. He was pacing through the house half the night. Around two, I told him if he was determined to wear out the floorboards, he could go do it in his old room.” She smiles wryly. “Not that I think he slept much once he got there.”
I picture him pacing his parents’ house in the dark, and I can’t help smiling. It makes me feel better than it probably should, knowing I wasn’t the only one too nervous to sleep.
“Out of the way, Aunt Eileen,” Maggie says, nudging in beside her. “It’s my turn.” Eileen only chuckles, raising both hands in surrender as she steps aside, and Maggie takes her place, planting a smacking kiss on my cheek. “Happy wedding day!”
Deirdre waits for Maggie to finish before taking my hand in both of hers. “Congratulations, love.”
“Thank you for being here,” I say, giving her hands a gentle squeeze before letting go.
Maggie claps her hands. “All right, ladies. Go on, all of you, and get yourselves ready. I’ve got Alannah’s hair and makeup.” She crosses to the door and picks up a small bag I hadn’t noticed on the floor beside it. “We’ll call you when it’s time for the dress.”
Eileen and Deirdre start to leave, but Mam hangs back a step, looking unsure. “Only if you’re sure, love,” she says.
“Of course I’m sure. We’ll be grand!” Maggie calls back, already tugging me to the vanity.
I hear the door click shut behind us as she sets the bag down and starts pulling things out: powder, lipstick, rouge, hairpins, a comb, brushes, and little tins and jars.
By the time she’s finished, the vanity is crowded, and I can’t believe she fit so much into one small bag.
She reaches past it all to switch on the radio, turning the dial until she finds a station she likes.
Then her eyes meet mine in the mirror, bright with excitement.
“Now,” she says, “let’s get you ready to marry my cousin. ”
I sit and watch her as she sings along to one song after another, combing, spraying, and pinning my hair until she has it swept back from my face and falling in soft waves.
She smooths a few loose strands into place before giving a satisfied nod.
“Perfect.” Then she picks up the foundation from the vanity and takes my chin between her fingers. “Hold still for me.”
I try. I really do. She blends the foundation over my skin, then brushes on powder and rouge.
The longer she works, the harder it is not to fidget, especially once she starts applying the liner, but I’m too afraid of ruining all her hard work to move.
She finishes one eye, then the other, gives my cheeks one last sweep of the brush, and draws back.
I lean closer to the mirror, hardly recognizing myself.
The dark liner Maggie drew along my lashes makes my eyes look wider than I’ve ever seen them, the blue brighter too.
My skin is pale and smooth, almost like porcelain, with just a touch of colour in my cheeks.
I’d been so worried that after a sleepless night I would look tired and washed out today, but I don’t.
I look… beautiful. “Thank you, Maggie,” I breathe. “I love it.”
“Of course you do. I did it,” she says, giving me a wink as she starts packing everything back into her bag. When she’s finished, she lifts it from the vanity and heads for the door. “I’m going to get dressed. I’ll let the others know you’re ready.”
It isn’t long before I hear footsteps coming toward my room.
Mam is the first through the door, looking beautiful in a muted rose dress with a short matching jacket, her strawberry-blonde hair set into soft, sculpted waves.
Eileen follows, elegant in deep navy, pearls resting at her throat and a small pillbox hat in her hand.
Deirdre comes in last in a simple dove-grey dress, her hair swept back and pinned into a smooth roll at the nape of her neck.
I get to my feet, looking from one of them to the next. “Oh, you all look lovely.”
“Thank you, sweetheart,” Mam says, smiling. “Not half as lovely as you’ll be once we get you into your dress.”
At the wardrobe, Eileen takes my gown from its hook, and Mam goes over to help her with the cover.
Once it’s off, they hold the dress open, and Deirdre offers me her hand to keep me steady as I step into it.
The three of them lift the gown around me as I put my arms through the sleeves, then set to work on the tiny buttons at my wrists and down my back.
When the last button is fastened, Mam turns me so I’m facing the mirror, and I just stand there, stunned, staring at my reflection.
I knew from the moment I saw this dress in the shop that it was the one.
I couldn’t imagine marrying Ronin in anything else.
But seeing myself in it now, on my wedding day, I know I was right.
It’s perfect.
My lips press together against the cry rising in my throat, and I have to swallow hard before I can speak. “I look like a bride,” I whisper.