Chapter Nineteen
JULIAN
When I wake, I find myself drowning in… fur? Reaching out, I pat the space in front of me before realizing that I’m cuddling a dog. A few more pats, and I realize that the curly hair must belong to the one and only Gustov. And beyond Gustov is… Casimir.
How did I…
I hesitate as the memories from last night flood in. Reaching for my neck, I rub at the scars left behind by the vampires that had tried killing me as memories of Yorick’s harassment come back. And then the realization that I’d raced off to hunt. I’d lost myself to my wolf…
Quickly, I sit up, wishing that I could remember what happened. Did I hurt anyone? Attack someone? What if I killed someone?
“You only gnawed on me,” Casimir says, like he can read my mind.
I look over at him in the darkness of the room. “Are you sure?”
“One hundred percent sure. You chased after some teenagers as soon as you turned, but I caught up to you before you got to them. Neither were bitten or scratched. Then you ran off into the field where we wallowed around in the mud a bit before you chewed on my arm like a bone and then took a nap.”
“I… took a nap ?” I ask in disbelief.
“Yeah. You’ve been asleep like eight hours.”
“I’ve been asleep for eight hours ? What the hell kind of werewolf am I?”
“Apparently a very tame one,” he says. “All I had to do was pet you and you slept on my lap like a little puppy.”
“I… I’m kind of embarrassed about all of the hassle I caused before just… napping . You put me back in the crate?”
“Nope. You would get cranky every time I tried getting up.”
I look at him in disbelief. “You sat out in a field with me the entire night?”
“Close to it,” he admits, and I feel weird about making him do that for me. But more than anything…
“Thank you,” I say. “I really… I really can’t thank you enough for keeping me from hurting anyone.”
“I had nothing else to do than sit out in a field as the dew soaked through my pants while holding a cranky wolf.”
I smile at that. “I’m sure you didn’t. Why didn’t you go home to sleep? It isn’t safe in here.”
“I’m fine. It’s already daylight now.”
“Go sleep in the closet.”
“No, I’m fine here.”
“But if you burned up in my bed, I’d have to get a new bed and I really like this one.”
“You’d probably have to get a whole new house. Imagine the stench.”
I sink back on my bed. “You’re not wrong.”
“I’m never wrong,” he says. I roll onto my side and pet Gustov.
“Thank you… thank you so much, Casimir. If I’d have… hurt someone or… killed them. I don’t know how I could live with myself.”
He’s quiet and I hesitate, feeling suddenly like I said something wrong, but I don’t know what it is.
“Casimir?”
“You’re too fucking kind for this world,” he says, then rolls away so his back is facing me.
Is it because I mentioned how horrible I’d feel if I killed someone? I guess… he has killed people to save me… is that what’s upsetting him?
“Cas… is this… those people you killed, you killed them to protect me. There’s a huge difference between me killing some teenager walking down the street and you killing a vampire that’s hurting and killing others.”
He doesn’t say anything, and that just doesn’t sit right with me, so I push past Gustov and climb on top of him.
“Are we having sex?” he asks, clearly jumping to the wrong idea.
“No, I didn’t know how else to get your attention,” I say as I sit on his stomach and look down at him.
“Sometimes it’s hard to tell who is good or bad.
Sometimes it’s hard to know who to trust or who to forgive.
But, Casimir, you saved me. You saved those teenagers I could have killed.
You saved Gustov. You saved my father just the other night, you saved Olive and Willow who are two of the sweetest people. You even saved jackass Weston.”
I reach down and cup his face in my hands. “It’s always so easy to get caught up in our heads. It’s not always easy to get out and look at all the good we’ve done.”
He’s watching me closely and I can’t tell if he believes me or not. “If we’re not going to have sex, get off.”
“No, we’re going to snuggle.”
“I don’t want to snuggle. I want to sleep and sulk.”
I roll down to lie on the bed beside him. “Here’s the issue, Cas, I want to snuggle.”
“We’re not even dating. None of this is real. Stop acting like it’s real.”
“I snuggle with everyone. Especially those who look like they don’t want the love,” I say as I roll onto my side and grab him. I hug his face to my chest and as he tries to struggle away, I hook him with my leg so he can’t escape.
“What the fuck is this? I should have left you outside and gone home,” he growls.
“No, I’m showing you the love.”
“I don’t want love, you hear me? All I want is to sleep and sulk.”
“You might not want it, but you need it. You need someone to tell you that you are pretty. You are strong. You are muscular.” I pat his chest. “Very toned.”
Casimir growls at me. “This is weird.”
“Good. I love it when my victims are confused by the weirdness.” I pet his head that’s still smashed against my chest from where he’s lying next to me.
“I’m not joking, Casimir. I don’t know what upset you, and you don’t have to tell me, but I do want you to know that whatever I say is all that matters. ”
“I kind of feel like that’s not true.”
“It is.” I continue to pet him.
“Your hands are hurt; you should go clean them up and stop touching me.”
“No, that’s okay. Your displeasure is healing them,” I say since they’re nearly already healed. And, more than anything, I want to make Casimir feel better, even if he’s pretending that it’s causing him misery. “Thank you. What you did means more to me than you’ll ever know.”
He doesn’t say anything, but he does stop struggling. “Are you finally going to sleep?”
“Well… I did already sleep for eight hours but I could probably cradle you until you fall asleep,” I say. “I’m a bit terrified of that Yorick guy, so I’ve decided that if I remain attached to your face, you will protect me.”
“You won’t have to worry about him soon,” he says, his voice quiet.
“That’s… that was kind of sexy.”
His look tells me that he kind of likes that. “Hm.”
“Like… do I stay attached to your head while you maul him?”
“I’d prefer not. I would likely get my head cut off since I currently can’t see anything.”
“Fine, fine,” I say with a smile. I think Casimir assumed that I would now let go of him, but I refuse. After a long moment, he relaxes into my touch and slowly drifts off to sleep. I’m not very tired so I end up just lying there, mind racing.
What am I getting myself into? And why can’t I turn away from him?
My phone beeps so I pick it up just as I swing the fridge door shut. The phone’s screen is cracked from Yorick tossing it, but it’s still usable.
Casimir: I am bored. Entertain me.
“Is he always this needy, Gustov?” I ask the dog.
“I CAN HEAR YOU,” Casimir shouts from the bedroom he’s locked in where he can avoid the sun.
“Sounds scary,” I say as I grab the sandwich and chips I made myself for lunch and walk back into my bedroom where Casimir is creepily standing in the corner.
“Why are you standing there like that?”
He glances over at me. “I am bored.”
“I heard.”
“I was listening to your neighbors bitch at each other. It’s fun to hear their petty bickering. Would you like me to eat them?”
“No, that’s okay. You can hear them from here?”
“They literally just walked by outside, bitching the whole way.”
“Ah.”
He tsks. “You are horribly unobservant.”
“Or maybe I just don’t creep on my neighbors,” I say as I head over to the bed. Halfway there, Casimir stops me and grabs my hand to examine it.
“Your fingers are hurt.”
“Yeah, at some point my brain went, ‘You know how we should get out of this situation? Claw at the cement until our fingers bleed!’ But honestly, they’re fine. They’re nearly already healed.”
“I see that,” he says as he sucks one of my fingers. It’s kind of sexy in a weird way. Like my brain is going “You know he’s trying to find any sign of blood” and my dick is going “Sexy man suck.”
“I’m actually surprised you didn’t lick me clean,” I comment.
“I can now,” he says, and ohhhh, is that tempting.
“Nah, you can watch me eat my sandwich, though.”
“Oh fascinating. I’m so excited,” he says dryly. “Should I be naked for it?”
“It’s possible,” I tease as I sit down on the bed. The moment I pick up the sandwich, Gustov is watching me with obvious interest, even though the empty food bowl in my kitchen tells me that he’s already been fed. “How old are you?”
His eyes shift to me. “How old do you think I am?”
“You’re clearly decrepit. Soooo… three hundred?”
Casimir stares at me and I can’t tell if it’s because I called him decrepit or my guess was that far off.
“Of all the wolves in the world, you are the one I stumble on. It’s a wonder I haven’t eaten you,” he says.
“I’m just awesome like that. Was I close?”
He shrugs. “I have lived three hundred years, yes.”
“Four hundred?”
“Does it matter?”
“Yes! Yes it does. Ooh… Five hundred?”
“Five hundred and three.”
Now that surprises me. I knew he was old, but I didn’t realize he was that old. Imagine all the shit he’s seen. “Oh damn… you really are old. I’m old too.”
“You’re like thirty.”
“Thirty-one.” I chew as I think of my next question. “Sooo… does it get boring?”
“What?” he asks. “Staring at you eating that sandwich? Like who eats like that?”
I pause my sandwich eating. “Oh my god! Don’t judge me. The crust is hard, so… Gustov wanted it!”
“You’re like a chipmunk just chewing away in a weird circle.”
“Stop! Let’s get back to questioning you! Answer the question. You hear stories of people getting tired of living forever. So is living five hundred years boring?”
“I don’t know. Sometimes I get tired of my life but then some strange wolf thing comes along and harasses me.”
I raise an eyebrow. “How have I harassed you?”
“That… cuddle was plenty of harassment,” he says as he watches me scrape the crust off into Gustov’s mouth for a treat. Gustov is thrilled by this, his tail wagging the whole time.
“Whoops, my crust fell. Okay, so I get that. Have you moved around a lot?”
“I usually get up and walk around every day. Sometimes it’s even multiple times a day.”
“You are so dreadful to talk to.” I scrutinize him as I take a chip and toss it at him, feeling like that should be his punishment for being sassy.
Casimir smacks it down and Gustov merrily eats it.
“Why are you the boss of the territory if you absolutely despise dealing with people?”
“I don’t despise dealing with people.”
I think back on all of the times I’ve seen him interact with others. Honestly, he really only seems to get along with me, which is odd. “You’ve suggested a battle royale, you’ve asked to chuck Steve to his death, you’ve threatened everyone, and you really only seem to like me.”
“It’s all fake.”
“You liking me?”
“Yep.”
“Nah, we cuddled. That’s how I know it was real.”
“It was an unapproved cuddle.”
“You sank right down into my bosom. Now answer the question.”
He sighs all dramatic like. “It wasn’t planned.
I’ve been respected for years because of my authority and power, and after a while, I suddenly realized I had a small following of people who relied on me for protection.
As the years changed, more and more followed me.
Can’t really say it was planned, but… maybe I was bored…
and maybe this gives me something to do besides stare at Gustov. Did you look at how cute he is today?”
“I did. I love the pigtails. I can tell you did that with love bursting out of your heart.”
Casimir scowls and hurries over to fix Gustov’s hair… why he thinks one single poof on the top is better than two, I’ll never know. “How about for every question you have, I will only answer once you produce another artwork of Gustov?”
“I’m starting to think that’s the only reason I’m still around. Sure. I will paint more pictures of him when I’m done eating.”
“What about your hands? You wolves are so pesky with your wounds.”
“Nah, they’re all good. If they weren’t, I would have suckled your blood some. I need to grab a canvas. What about a big motherfucker? Let me go find my biggest canvas and I’ll use acrylics this time. I was saving it to paint Ezio in the nude, but I could get another one.”
His eyes snap over to me. “Excuse me?”
“It’s what he asked for.”
“Do not paint him at all.”
That makes me grin at him. “You almost sound jealous. Remember you mentioning that this was all fake?” I ask as I wave between us.
When he scowls, I give him a wink and hurry off to grab my supplies.