8. Isla
Chapter 8
Isla
ELAINE
How’s that whole “finding Asher’s perfect match that isn’t you” plan going?
ISLA
It’s going professionally. I’m making a list of potential matches.
ELAINE
Ooooh, professionally. Is that what the kids are calling jealousy these days?
ISLA
I’m not jealous! Why would I be jealous? This is literally my job.
ELAINE
Your job is finding love for other people while ignoring the six-foot-three neighbor next door who’s been in love with you since you had braces.
ISLA
He has NOT been in love with me since I had braces. And he’s not in love with me now. And I’m not in love with him. And WHY ARE WE TALKING ABOUT THIS?
ROXANNE
That’s a lot of “nots” for someone who’s definitely NOT protesting too much.
ELAINE
I bet you’ve already eliminated every woman in town who’s prettier than you.
ISLA
I have NOT.
I’m being completely objective and thorough. It’s called being a professional.
ROXANNE
So you wouldn’t mind if he ends up with Melissa from the yoga studio? You know, the one who can put both legs behind her head?
ISLA
If she’s compatible with him, then I’d be happy for them both.
ELAINE
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
ROXANNE
That’s the biggest lie you’ve told since you said Kyle’s man-bun was distinguished.
ISLA
I’m hanging up this text.
ELAINE
That’s not how texting works.
ISLA
GOODBYE.
UNKNOWN
Sorry. Just making sure. Is this still Isla’s number?