15. Torey
Chapter 15
Torey
“ Y ou didn’t mention you can’t carry a tune in a breadbasket.” Ryan’s lips twitched as he looped an arm around my waist and tugged me into his side with his free hand. The other held our fourth place trophy, which was the size of a guppie.
“It wasn’t that bad,” I insisted, pouting.
“You’re right. It was worse. A lot worse.” He chuckled and kissed my cheek. “But you put on a hell of a show. That’s probably why we didn’t come in last place.”
God, it felt so good being with him like this. It was so natural, as if we’d been freely affectionate like this forever. “Yeah, well…thanks, I guess.”
“You’re welcome. Now that we’ve finished our couple’s karaoke duties, how about we grab something to eat?” There was a hint of hope in his voice that in turn gave me hope.
“You want to take me out to dinner? Like a date?”
He shook his head and leaned in close before he whispered in my ear. “No, Tor, not like a date, but an actual date.”
Yes, please. “In that case, I’d love it. I’m starving.” When we stepped into Holiday Beef, I let out a low whistle. “Fancy, are you trying to impress me?” I held my breath and waited for his answer because everything that happened between us since leaving Vicki’s place felt significant.
“I am. I know that I can impress you in the bedroom and the karaoke bar, now it’s time to prove it in the rest of the world.” He swallowed dramatically, as if the admission cost him.
“These are from Chef Mario.” Our server placed two cocktail glasses on the table, each decorated with a chocolate and strawberry swirl. “These are Afterglow, his new signature cocktail based on your winning cocktail.”
It was delicious. “The flavors are similar to ours only more elevated,” I offered. “Because of course it is, Mario is as fancy as they come.”
Ryan chuckled and took a sip. “My afterglow is better,” he replied confidently.
“I couldn’t agree more.” I took another sip for confidence and exhaled. “Which begs the question, why are you trying to impress me, Ryan?”
“Because, Torey, I like you. For real.”
My whole being went up in flames at those words. “I like you too, Ryan. For real.”
He smiled. “It’s not fair to ask you to date me—I know that. But I also know that I can’t not take this risk.”
Wow. “Is that why you took me to see Vicki, so I could see what I was signing up for?”
“Yes, and no. I wanted you to know that it’s not just me. We’re a family, no different than Holiday Grove. I wanted you to see other parts of me, parts that people who’ve known me forever, don’t necessarily know.”
My heart beat a wild cadence in my chest at his words and I knew it was the last piece of the puzzle falling into place. Ryan liked me and wanted to date me but me? I was in love with him. This was exactly what I was afraid would happen only now that it had, I wasn’t afraid. “I know you, Ryan. I may not know the commitment or the sacrifice, but I know you.”
He reached across the table and held my hands. “More importantly, you understand me.”
“I’m trying.” I sighed and gave his hands a squeeze. “So you want to date when you’re home?” I wanted him. Hell, I loved him but I couldn’t agree to that.
“No,” he growled. “I want you to be my woman, Torey. I’ll come home on every leave. And when I can’t, I’ll fly you to wherever I am. It’s not enough, I know that you deserve so much more than this.” His jaw clenched. “But I stopped believing that I’d ever find this connection with anyone, and it’s with the girl who’s been right under my nose for most of my life.”
Swoon! “Ryan.” It was everything I wanted to hear, everything I ever wanted a man to say but it felt…incomplete.
“It’s not enough.” His tone was filled with devastation.
“It’s not that. It’s just, I don’t know, how long will we do that if this thing between us turns out to be the real thing?” I shook my head. “I know what you want for your career, and I want that for you, but I can’t live my life only seeing you whenever it’s convenient.”
“That’s fair.” He nodded, his expression unsatisfied. “If I don’t get medically cleared I’m not retiring, but I will have a more regular schedule.”
I was torn. Ryan was everything I thought I’d have to do without living in Holiday Grove where there were almost no single strangers. But what he was offering was basically half a life. Half a love. “I want to say yes to you, Ryan, more than anything.”
He nodded. “What’s stopping you?”
I sighed. “I’m in love with you, Ryan. I know it’s fast and it seems crazy, but it’s true. I want what you’re offering, so bad, but I have to decide if I’m okay with the long absences and living more of my life without than with you.” It hurt my heart so say those words to him, but I had to be honest. “I need to think about it. Is that all right?”
“More than all right. This only works if you want it too.” He smiled tightly as the server delivered our food. “Now let’s eat and talk about how bad you are at singing.”
His ability to smile in the face of an almost rejection only made me love him more, but I was determined to take my time and think this over. I owed it to both of us. “If you want, I can serenade you my answer when I have it.”
His green eyes heated and a small smile touched his kissable lips. “I would love that.”