Chapter 24 ~ Isabella ~
I had to be strong enough to make the right decision. Abigail was right about that. The woman wasn't as unassuming as she looked. She suddenly seemed more like someone... like me. Wouldn't I have tried to win Carter back if he had left me?
NO!
You let a cheater go, no matter how much your heart still clings to him. Once a cheater, always a cheater. He didn't deserve a second chance.
Hold on, Isabella. So far, so good. But you should give Carter a chance to explain everything. Who knows what happened? Or if Abigail is really telling the truth? She could be using you for a little, fine intrigue. Such things happen quite often. Who knows if your interests are really so close to her heart? After all, one's own interests are usually closest to one's heart.
I eyed Abigail suspiciously. She returned my gaze.
"You probably think I'm telling you this out of pure self-interest, because if you leave, Carter will be free for me again," Abigail now voiced my thoughts.
"Is that so?" I asked back.
Abigail made a sound that was probably supposed to be a laugh. "No." She shook her head. "No, that's not the case. Yes, I want Carter back. That's why I went to his office. But Carter... he does whatever he wants anyway. I just told you that. In the end, he decides who he gets involved with or not." She shook her head again. "Everything happened exactly as I just told you."
The last glimmer of hope I had harbored was extinguished within me.
But I tried not to let it show.
Be strong, Isabella. The bastard doesn't deserve you crying your eyes out over him. And you certainly won't do that while he's still around. It would be just too much if he could watch.
I quickly swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat. I wouldn't let this get me down. I had always gotten back up when life had knocked me down. But I had never felt as weak and terrible as I did now.
Isabella! Don't give up hope just yet. All you have is Abigail's word.
My head was spinning back and forth.
What should I do?
Who could I believe here?
Who was on my side?
Talk to Carter.
This voice in my head seemed to be the only reasonable one. Maybe everything could still be cleared up. The spark of hope in me glowed again.
Often things looked worse than they actually were. I looked at Abigail and was about to ask her something. But at that moment, Johnnie's mother walked past us.
"Hello," she said kindly. "I wanted to thank Carter again. Do you know where he is?"
"He's on the phone," I replied. "Is Johnnie doing well?"
"Everything's fine," his mother assured me.
"I can pass on your thanks to Carter if you'd like."
Great, Isabella, super idea. First, you ask him if he cheated on you with Abigail. And then you pass on greetings from Johnnie's mother. Or maybe the other way around? Offering to do that for Johnnie's mother is a real brainwave!
"I'd like to thank him myself. After everything that happened back then, I never wanted to talk to him again," Johnnie's mother laughed. "But now he's saved the most precious thing in my life, and I'll finally be able to forgive him. Maybe it will do him good to hear that."
"Forgive?" I had no idea what the woman was talking about. From the corner of my eye, I looked at Abigail, but she seemed just as clueless as I was.
"Oh, it's an old story," Johnnie's mother waved it off. "You two seem to be very happy together..." She stopped speaking and a wistful look formed around her eyes. "Back then..." She interrupted herself again.
"You were also with Carter once," Abigail said, looking at Johnnie's mother.
"That was ages ago. Johnnie is three now... it must have been at least six years ago."
Was this party full of women who had once had sex with Carter? Or with whom he had been engaged? Whatever "together" meant, Carter had apparently really made the most of his opportunities.
That's not an offense, Isabella. You can't hold anyone's past against them. You wouldn't want someone to hold your past against you either.
Johnnie's mother still seemed to be thinking about her past with Carter and looked a bit wistful. And that, even though she was obviously still with Johnnie's father. At least she was wearing a wedding ring.
"Did he cheat on you too?" Abigail asked then. "Is that what you can finally forgive him for now?"
Johnnie's mother cleared her throat awkwardly. "I don't think that's a topic for today." She glanced sideways at me. "That's all a very long time ago and people change, so..." She interrupted herself again. "I just wanted to thank him once more. Everything happened so quickly earlier. I'll just see if I can find Carter somewhere later." She nodded to us, turned away, and then slowly walked across the lawn past the buffet. I watched her go. She stopped next to a tall, slightly corpulent man. Johnnie came running up to them.
"I'm sorry I asked so directly," Abigail said. I looked back into her pale eyes. She continued: "But I didn't want you to have any further illusions about Carter's character. Often people think they can change someone or that he will change eventually."
I nodded.
"Be strong, Isabella. Do what I couldn't do."
Do what I couldn't do.
It was clear what Abigail meant. I should tell Carter to go to hell. But why should I do that for her?
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.
I would do it.
But not for Abigail.
For myself.
For my own peace of mind.
"I will... tell Carter what... what I think of him," I said haltingly.
A cheater like him had earned exactly that. His whole family was here, including his grandmother. What would she say about her fine grandson? Maybe she would disinherit him? After all, his "engagement" had only existed on paper.
The thought that Carter would lose what he had wanted most urgently gave me secret pleasure. Then he would feel exactly like I did. I too had just lost what I had wanted most.
Him.
Carter.
Where could he be?
"He wanted to make a phone call," I said. "I... I'll go look for him."
"He's probably in his father's office. I know where that is. Come on." Abigail nodded to me and I slowly followed her across the lawn. Before us stood the majestic country house of the Jenkins family. Had I really felt more at home here than almost anywhere else in my life less than half an hour ago?
As we walked across the lawn, I tried to come up with the right words. How should I confront Carter?
I know what you did, you don't need to say another word...
No, that was too childish.
You miserable cheater, you bastard, you...
No, that was too melodramatic.
Why did you do this to me?
No, that was too helpless.
Couldn't you keep it in your pants for even one week and control yourself?
No, that was too aggressive.
Abigail told me everything. I'm going home now. Our contract is ending anyway.
Yes.
That sounded good.
Not sentimental, not spectacular, not accusatory. Mature. It was the end of a business relationship. That's all we had. Carter wouldn't be able to perceive any weakness in me. No emotion.
And his family would want to know what contract I was talking about. Carter would have to answer to his grandmother.
As we stood at the stairs to the country house, the door suddenly opened and Carter and his grandmother appeared before us.
The sight of Carter's athletic body in sportswear made my heart skip a beat. But only for a minute. Then it started hammering wildly against my ribs again.
Isabella! Remember who he is. What he did. And remember what you want to tell him.
What did I want to tell him?
Abigail told me everything. I'm going home now. Our contract is ending anyway.
In my mind, I repeated the sentence three times. I had to be strong now. I couldn't forget my resolutions.
Abigail told me everything. I'm going home now. Our contract is ending anyway.
Abigail told me everything. I'm going home now. Our contract is ending anyway.
Abigail told me everything. I'm going home now. Our contract is ending anyway.
I took another step towards Carter.
"There!" When Carter's grandmother spotted me, she swung her silver cane through the air, right in my direction. I quickly stepped back so the damn thing wouldn't hit me between the ribs.
What was that about?
Had the grandmother lost her mind?
"Wwwhat... what are you doing?" I asked, perplexed. At this moment, I was so confused that I didn't even think about the sentence I had just rehearsed.
"You miserable cheater!" Carter's grandma was beyond consolation.
"Excuse me?" My bewilderment increased.
"You miserable cheater," the grandmother repeated.
Carter hadn't said anything yet. I looked over to him for help. He averted his gaze. Now I was completely unsure.
"I'm not a cheater," I defended myself poorly. Since I didn't know what offense I was being accused of, I could say little.
"We know exactly what you did," Carter said then. "Your perfidious game has been exposed. Honestly, Isabella, I wouldn't have expected this from you. I'm deeply disappointed."
I stared at him. Now he was looking at me. But his bright blue eyes no longer looked hot. It was more like they were covered by a thick layer of ice. Carter's gaze was penetrating. Drilling. And... Accusing.
"I didn't do anything wrong." What else could I say? What was this even about?
Carter laughed scornfully. "Wrong? No, of course not. You just lied to me and cheated and pretended as if this whole thing meant something to you. You're really particularly perfidious. Have you pulled this number before?"
Now I was getting angry.
Cheated?
Me?
"This is ridiculous," I began. "I'm playing a false game. I have no idea what you're talking about. You just want to distract. From YOUR false game." I took a deep breath, looked into Carter's bright blue eyes and asked the question that was burning in my soul. "What's going on between you and Abigail?"
"Abigail?" Carter laughed. His eyes looked just as hard as before. "Don't try to change the subject, Isabella. Are you trying to bring up some old stories? Or pin something on me so your own transgressions don't seem so terrible? That would suit you!"
Why wasn't Abigail saying anything? Earlier she had been constantly asking questions when we were talking to Johnnie's mother. Now she was strangely quiet.
I looked around.
Abigail was gone.
She had been standing right behind me just a moment ago. But now the space around Carter, his grandmother, and me was as empty as if Abigail had never existed. As if she had been nothing more than a mirage.
"Well, what now? Are you finally going to say something?" Carter sounded impatient. Harsh. Demanding. I had never heard him like this before.
Was this the man I had fallen head over heels in love with?
In love.
Yes, in love.
But now it was as if a stranger stood before me.
Had I ever really known this man?
"You're the cheater!" That was all I could say. My mind was completely blank.
"Me? I haven't ruined anyone's business. Like you. I never tried to worm my way into a strange family and... profit from them. Like you." Carter shook his head. "I never would have thought you capable of such things. Thankfully, I realized who I was dealing with just in time."
"I could say the same thing," I blurted out. Was he serious? He screws his ex, lets me go down on him shortly after, and then has the nerve to lecture me. And deny his own misdeeds.
"I've told you before: Don't change the subject. Don't act like you're some innocent country girl." Carter shook his head again.
"I..." I began.
"I don't want to hear anymore!" Carter cut me off. "You just had plenty of opportunity to explain everything to me and come clean about what's really going on. You didn't do that. That tells me everything. I don't need to know anything else!"
He didn't need to know anything else?
"I was an idiot to believe that you..." Carter didn't finish this sentence. Instead, he took a deep breath. "I never want to see you again. I should really report you to the authorities, but I'll refrain from that for now. Keep playing your con games. Just not with me. Do you understand?"
I stared at him in disbelief.
Was this really happening?
The man I thought I loved was accusing me of the worst things and chasing me away? Right after we'd had the most passionate sex of our... our affair.
I swallowed.
"Get out of here!" Now Carter's grandmother chimed in on the conversation again. She waved her cane threateningly in the air.
I looked from Carter to his grandmother and back again.
Carter's words whirled around in my head. I never want to see you again.
And this from a man who had sex with his ex shortly before one of our meetings.
You imagined it all, Isabella. He never really liked you. You mean nothing to him. Less than nothing. Even less than that.
Tears welled up in my eyes.