Chapter 28 ~ Isabella ~
"H ere!" I turned around. Hayley was standing behind me, holding out a blue and pink package. I didn't take it.
Why would I?
"I'm feeling better already," I announced confidently. "I don't need a test. I'm definitely not pregnant." My nausea had indeed subsided, and I was standing in Hayley's kitchen - no, our kitchen - looking at the plants. Since I moved in, it had been my job to take care of them. Hayley had said with a small grin: "It's time you learned how to do this." So far, I had done quite well. No plants had died yet, and a cactus was even starting to develop a small flower.
Develop.
Is that what you call it with plants?
Whatever. I could see a bud.
A plant child.
At this thought, I grimaced.
"Isabella Abbott! Go and take this test! You think you're definitely not pregnant? Then prove it to me! If the test is negative, THEN you're definitely not pregnant!" Hayley slammed the blue and pink package on the kitchen table.
I lowered my gaze.
Sure. Simple. Quick.
That was the inscription on the package.
I didn't want to be pregnant. And if I didn't have a positive test, then I couldn't be pregnant. It was that simple. Right?
"Don't play ostrich! Burying your head in the sand won't make anything better. Nothing at all. On the contrary, in the end, the problem will only get bigger and bigger." I looked up. Sparks seemed to fly from Hayley's eyes. But suddenly she twisted her mouth into a broad grin and then burst into loud laughter. She laughed so hard that she eventually clutched her side.
"Ow, that hurts," she gasped.
"What the hell is so funny about this whole thing?" I asked, slightly offended. "I'd like to laugh too."
"Well..." Hayley hemmed and hawed a bit. She started laughing again, then pulled herself together and cleared her throat. Once. Twice. Three times. "I said it would keep getting bigger. That's... that's actually like with a child." Hayley's corners of her mouth twitched tellingly, but she tried very hard not to burst out laughing again.
"Really funny," I grumbled. Hayley was right, of course. But even though I had always appreciated her humor and we had laughed together about the most impossible things, this time I couldn't join in.
"I... well..." Hayley fixed her gaze on the edge of the table. Her face was working suspiciously. She was still trying not to laugh as much as possible.
"That's enough!" I snatched the blue and pink package from the table and disappeared into the bathroom. Fine, I'd take this damn test then! So Hayley would finally shut up! It would be negative anyway!
It had to be negative!
Angrily, I stared into the mirror.
And what if it wasn't?
I hastily pushed that thought away. I locked the bathroom door and studied the description on the package. The whole thing did indeed sound simple, safe, and quick. Open the package, pee on the stick, and then wait three minutes. Read the result.
I took a deep breath.
Okay. Better to get this over with quickly. Hayley was right, even if I didn't want to admit it. Waiting didn't make the problem any better, and waiting longer certainly wouldn't.
Resolutely, I tore open the package and followed the instructions.
A short time later, I was staring at the window of the test stick.
When would something happen here?
Impatiently, I looked at the clock. Time suddenly seemed to pass infinitely slowly. It would take forever before I could read a result. I closed my eyes briefly. When I opened them again, there was still nothing to see in the test window.
Quick?
No, this thing was definitely not quick.
Hopefully, the test was at least reliable.
I looked at the clock again.
Still no result.
The waiting was driving me crazy, so I put the test stick aside, opened the bathroom door, and went to the kitchen. Hayley was sitting at the table, staring into her empty coffee cup. The thought of coffee made me nauseous again. I quickly swallowed. I simply couldn't be nauseous. If I wasn't nauseous, then I couldn't be pregnant.
Right?
When I cleared my throat, Hayley looked up. "Well?" she asked.
"I don't know. It's all taking so long. I'd rather wait here." I looked back and forth nervously.
"Oh, Isabella." Hayley stood up and pushed her chair back. She came over to me and took me in her arms. "I'm sorry I was so mean to you earlier. I shouldn't have laughed at you. That wasn't right. Can you forgive me?"
"Of course." Relieved, I hugged Hayley. "It... I understand why you laughed. It was a little funny."
"Still. I should have been more considerate of your feelings." Hayley pulled away from me and looked at me seriously.
"Yeah. Because that's what you do with pregnant women." This time I was the one making a joke. But Hayley didn't laugh. She had apparently meant her request for forgiveness seriously.
I grinned at her. "You can laugh, you know."
Hayley looked at me uncertainly. Then we both burst into laughter together.
After we had calmed down, Hayley gently nudged me in the side. "Come on, go get your test. It's been three minutes now, so we should be able to see if you're pregnant or not."
I nodded and went back to the bathroom with my heart pounding. It felt like my fate would be decided in the next few minutes.
Heads or tails?
Pregnant or not pregnant?
I opened the bathroom door and went to grab the test from the shelf above the sink. There was no test there.
No test?
Frantically, I scanned the shelf. Toothpaste. Face cream. Toner. Dental floss. Deodorant. Hand cream. Perfume. A lipstick.
No pregnancy test.
I looked around searchingly.
Where on earth had I put the damn thing?
On the windowsill?
No.
Next to the toilet?
No.
"Well?" Hayley called from the kitchen.
I didn't answer.
My eyes scanned the edge of the bathtub. Nothing. I checked the shelf above the sink again. No pregnancy test. My gaze swept over the large laundry basket, the small cabinet, and the towel rack.
Nothing.
"What's going on?" Hayley stood in the doorway.
I turned around pitifully. "I... I can't remember where I put the test."
Hayley groaned. "Isabella Abbott. You're truly unbelievable. I've met many scatterbrained people, but you top them all. You beat them by miles. How can you forget where you put a PREGNANCY TEST when you don't even know the result yet?"
I shrugged. What could I say? If I knew the answer to that question, I wouldn't have misplaced the test.
"Alright, I'll help you look." Hayley determinedly took a stack of towels from the rack and began unfolding them and then refolding them.
"I'm sure I didn't put the test there," I growled. Of course, I wouldn't admit it, but I was a bit angry with myself. Why couldn't I just get a handle on my absentmindedness?
"You certainly didn't do it on purpose. But as lost in thought as you were... who knows." Hayley looked at me lovingly. "This is quite an uncertain moment for you. It's easy to put something somewhere and then forget you did it." Hayley folded the last towel. "And I'm excited too." She shook her head. "There's nothing here."
In the meantime, I had searched through the individual compartments of the medicine cabinet. Although I was sure I hadn't put the test there, I wanted to check every possible place.
Hayley opened the trash can. But there was only the empty box. No test stick.
"This is pointless." Hayley shook her head. "I'll quickly run to the pharmacy and get you a new test. You'll need it anyway, whether we find the stick now or not."
"Why do I need it anyway? If we find the stick now, everything's fine, right?" I looked at Hayley, confused.
"Didn't you read the instructions? After some time, the test result becomes invalid. You can't let the urine react for too long."
"Yes. I read that." I had. And immediately forgotten it.
"I'll be right back." With these words, Hayley left the bathroom. Shortly after, I heard the door slam behind her.
I took a deep breath. With all the searching, I had completely pushed aside the real question.
What would I do if I was pregnant?
I had never thought about having a child.
Pondering, I stared at my reflection. A pregnancy would turn my whole life upside down. I would have to take care of not just myself, but also a child. And that meant...
... that I would need a job even more urgently.
I wouldn't find one in New York. But maybe somewhere else. Definitely somewhere else. San Francisco was supposed to be nice. Or maybe Seattle? Or...? A bold thought shot through my head.
Hawaii?
Isabella Abbott! You have no money to buy a plane ticket to Hawaii. You owe your best friend your share of the rent! So stop these nonsensical dreams and make more realistic plans.
At that moment, a new wave of nausea came over me. I felt a sour taste in my mouth and got dizzy. Searching for support, I reached out. In doing so, I knocked over the large laundry basket.
Isabella. Can't you be careful JUST ONCE?
I took some long, deep breaths. The nausea disappeared as quickly as it had come, and my vision cleared again. I took a step back from the sink.
CRACK.
Plastic splintered under my foot.
I looked down.
The test stick.
I had stepped on the damn thing.
Hadn't we looked on the floor when we were searching for the test?
As I bent down to pick up the broken test stick, I bumped into the lid of the laundry basket, which was now on the floor. Various pieces of clothing were scattered around me. Had I put the test on top of the basket? And then it had fallen in and now resurfaced when I knocked over the basket?
That must have been what happened.
For probably the tenth time that day, I took a deep breath. I closed my eyes.
You can do this, Isabella.
Then I looked at the test window. Fortunately, the stick had only cracked at the front, so the result in the window was still clearly visible.
Two pink lines.
The damn test was positive.
I was pregnant.
At that moment, I heard Hayley's key in the door.
"I'm back," she called cheerfully.
"And I'm pregnant," I muttered tonelessly. And so quietly that Hayley couldn't possibly hear me. Hayley appeared breathlessly in the bathroom doorway and held out a new package to me. Blue and pink again.
Wordlessly, I held out the test stick to her.
"Oh baby," she said when she had read the result in the window.
This time I was the one who laughed. But not loudly and heartily, just short and dry. "You can say that again. Baby."
Hayley let out a short giggle, but she immediately became serious again. "Take the second test, Isabella. Bring the thing to the kitchen. We'll wait for the result together."
I nodded and closed the bathroom door.
A little later, we sat together at the kitchen table, staring at the white stick lying between us.
"What do you want to do if it's true?" Hayley wanted to know.
"Don't know," I replied pitifully. "I'd like to emigrate. Start a new life somewhere. Just the child and me."
"I can understand that." Hayley nodded seriously. "But that's not a real option. At first, you won't be able to work right away. You'll have to take care of the child."
"I know." I shook my head desperately. "What am I supposed to tell them?"
"Who?" Hayley looked at me confused.
"The child. What am I supposed to tell them? That their parents had sex because their mother hoped to get $50,000 from their father? And that their father just wanted some fun and his grandmother's inheritance and was also an idiot who took every available woman?"
"You don't have to tell the child that." Hayley put her hand on mine. "There are countless children whose parents separated before birth."
"I don't want to lie to them." I looked at Hayley, upset.
"Sure. Maybe you won't have to."
"What do you mean?" I had no idea what Hayley was talking about.
"Talk to Carter again, Isabella."
"I never want to hear that name again." Resolutely, I reached for the test stick lying between us on the floral patterned tablecloth. My heart was pounding.
And at this moment, I couldn't exactly say whether it was beating so hard because I would soon really know if I was pregnant.
Or if Carter was the reason.
I didn't want to think about that now.
I lowered my gaze to the test stick.
Two pink lines.
I threw the stick on the table. "I'm pregnant."
Hayley reached for the stick. "Yes. You are." She looked at me expectantly, waiting to see how I would react.
For the first time in my life, I didn't know what I felt. I was pregnant. Pregnant. Of course, I loved children. My sister Joanna's child. My friend Leanna's. But those were other people's children.
What about my own child?
Oh, of course I would love it.
But somehow I didn't feel quite grown up myself yet.
Was I even ready to have a child?
Mothers were these perfect beings who never messed anything up, always arrived on time, and had at least thirty pots with perfectly thriving plants on their windowsills. I even lost my pregnancy test and was rarely punctual. At least I had made some progress with plants lately.
"What are you thinking, Isabella?" Hayley's question snapped me out of my thoughts.
"I don't think I'm ready for a child," I admitted.
"Every woman thinks that when she's pregnant." Hayley smiled at me. "All my sisters thought that. And everything always turned out fine. It's just something new, unfamiliar, that you have to get used to. It always feels weird at first."
"Yeah... maybe. But at least they had a man and weren't so scatterbrained."
Hayley laughed. "When you're not so excited, you're not scatterbrained either. And as for the man..." Hayley paused and put a hand on mine. "Talk to Carter again, Isabella. Even if you don't have any feelings left for him. This is HIS child too. It's only fair that he pays for it. He has more than enough money."
"But I don't want him to think I'm trying to pin a child on him now and get money that way because he didn't pay me the $50,000." This thought had been bothering me the whole time. Now I finally said it out loud.
"Oh please. That's a ridiculous thought. You were pregnant first, right? Then you had an argument. And the money didn't come. Right?" Hayley looked at me challengingly.
"Yes," I had to agree with her.
"He had his fun too. There's no reason why you should raise the child alone for the rest of your life and earn all the money for it too. He should pay."
I let Hayley's words sink in. What choice did I have? I had no money without a child. With a child, I would have even less. Carter, on the other hand, had so much money that he had probably already lost track of exactly how much it was.
Hayley was right.
He should pay.
I stood up.
"Let's go."
"Where?" Hayley asked.
"I want to go to Carter. You're right. He should pay up. And this time I don't want to bury my head in the sand, but tackle the issue head-on. Then I'll have it behind me." If I didn't leave right away, I might change my mind.
Hayley nodded. "Let's go then."
My heart was racing. This time, even deep breaths couldn't calm it down. And it wasn't because of the pregnancy.
The thought of seeing Carter again triggered a wave of emotions that I really couldn't blame on the pregnancy.