Chapter 15
COLT
The drive back to the hotel had been quiet. The temperature had plummeted during the hour we’d been in the restaurant. Hallie looked like she was freezing. I found myself wanting to pull her closer. Warm her up.
I didn’t, of course. That would cross a line we’d carefully maintained.
But I thought about it.
The car pulled to a stop in front of the hotel, and the second the valet opened the door, arctic air blasted us. We hurried out and made our way upstairs.
When we stepped into our suite, the warmth was immediately welcoming. Hallie went straight to the fireplace, holding her hands out to the flames. I grabbed the remote and cranked up the temperature.
“I’m freezing,” she said, her teeth chattering slightly.
I glanced toward the balcony, where steam was rising from the jacuzzi into the cold night air. An idea formed. It was probably stupid, definitely risky, but impossible to resist.
“You know what would warm you up?” I said casually, shrugging off my jacket. “The hot tub.”
She turned to look at me, one eyebrow raised. “The hot tub. Outside.”
“Yeah. It’s heated. Perfect for a night like this.”
“Right.” Her tone was dry. “Because nothing helps you get warmer faster than stripping down to a bikini and going outside.”
“Into a hot tub,” I reminded her.
“You just want to get me in a bathing suit.”
I pressed a hand to my chest in mock offense. “Hallie, I’m hurt. Here I am, trying to help my freezing fiancée warm up, and you’re accusing me of ulterior motives.”
“Do you have ulterior motives?”
“Absolutely,” I admitted with a grin. “But that doesn’t mean the hot tub isn’t also a good idea.”
She laughed, shaking her head. “You just can’t help yourself, can you?”
“I’m practical. You’re cold. The water’s hot. Simple math.” I moved toward the bedroom where I’d seen robes hanging in the closet. “Come on, Hallie. When’s the next time you’re going to be at a luxury hotel with a private jacuzzi overlooking the ocean in the middle of winter?”
“I’m here all the time,” she said with a laugh, obviously joking.
I found two plush robes and brought them back out. “Let’s make the most of it. We’ve earned it after that dinner performance.”
She was wavering. I could see it in the way she looked from the balcony to me and back again.
“I don’t know if I even packed a bathing suit,” she said.
“I had Frankie make sure there was one in your bag,” I said. “Along with the dress and everything else.”
“Of course you did.” But she was smiling now, some of her walls coming down. “You really plan everything, don’t you?”
“I like to be prepared.” I held out one of the robes. “What do you say? Twenty minutes in the hot tub, then we’ll call it a night?”
I could practically see her internal debate. Finally, she sighed and took the robe.
“Fine. Twenty minutes. But if you try anything—”
“I’ll be a perfect gentleman,” I interrupted. “Scout’s honor.”
“Were you ever a Scout?”
“No. But the sentiment stands.”
She rolled her eyes but headed to the bedroom to change. I did the same in the bathroom, pulling on the swim trunks I’d packed and trying not to think too hard about the fact that I was about to be half-naked in a hot tub with Hallie.
She was still in the bedroom when I emerged from the bathroom.
I had put on the robe but didn’t bother tying it.
I went to the bar and pulled out one of the bottles of champagne, along with some of the fancy chocolates.
Maybe I should order room service. I did cut her dinner short.
I opened the fridge and found the fruit and cheese tray that I knew would be about ten times over retail.
I didn’t care. I found a tray, piled up the food, and opened the champagne.
When I stepped out onto the balcony, the cold air hit me like a slap. “Fuck me sideways.”
I positioned the tray next to the hot tub and dropped the robe before quickly sliding into the steaming water. I let out a sigh as the heat immediately chased away the chill. Snow fell gently all around me, dampening the sounds of the dark ocean, vast beyond the hotel grounds.
I poured two glasses of champagne and took a sip. I liked it better chilled, but it would be cold soon enough sitting outside. I closed my eyes and let the hot water loosen the knots in my shoulders. I rarely took the time to sit in the hot tub I had at my penthouse.
But damn, I was going to have to change that. It felt damn good.
The door opened, and Hallie emerged.
My breath caught.
She had on the robe, but it was hanging open, giving me a little peekaboo look first. Thank God because I wasn’t sure I could have handled all of it at once. My sanity and self-restraint would have failed me.
“It’s freezing out here!” she shrieked.
“Get in.” My words sounded like I’d been chewing glass.
Her eyes met mine for a half a second before she took off the robe and draped it over one of the deck chairs.
She was wearing a simple black one-piece that looked anything but simple on her. It showed off the swell of her breasts, the dip of her waist, the fullness of her hips. Her long dark hair was piled on top of her head, a few strands escaping to frame her face.
Hallie was gorgeous.
She hurried across the balcony and dipped a foot into the water before sinking down. She gasped as the heat enveloped her. “Oh my god, that’s hot.”
“That’s kind of the point,” I managed, only staring a little.
She settled across from me, the water lapping at her shoulders. For a moment, we just sat there, the awkwardness settling between us like a third presence.
This had seemed like a good idea inside. Now, with both of us showing significantly more skin than we had at any point in this arrangement, it felt charged. Dangerous.
I couldn’t stop looking at her. The way the water droplets clung to her collarbones. The way the steam made her skin glow. Her face had a dewy look from the rising steam.
I caught her looking at me too. Her gaze drifted over my chest, my shoulders, my arms. Quick glances that she tried to hide but couldn’t quite manage.
The awareness between us was electric.
I should just lean in and kiss her. It would be easy. Natural, even. We were supposed to be engaged, after all. And if any other woman had been sitting across from me in a hot tub, looking at me the way Hallie was looking at me right now, I wouldn’t have hesitated.
So why was I hesitating?
The silence stretched, becoming almost suffocating. The only sounds were the bubbling water and the gentle patter of snow falling around us.
“Here,” I said and thrust the glass of champagne at her. “And I pulled out the snack tray. I know we didn’t finish dinner. You’re probably hungry.”
“Thank you,” she said and took the champagne.
I grabbed a chunk of cheese and popped it in my mouth, washing it down with champagne that wasn’t half-bad. Not the good stuff, but pretty damn okay.
Both of us snacked, drank our champagne, and simply enjoyed the quiet. I refilled both of our glasses and leaned back. It was a strange experience to be sitting in a hot tub with a beautiful woman and not have my hands on her. Or her mouth on my body.
Very weird.
“I miss my father too,” Hallie said suddenly.
And bam, buzzkill.
I opened my eyes and looked at her. I knew it was a pickup from the conversation we had over an hour ago, but it seemed like a delayed reaction. “Your dad?”
“Yeah.” She was staring out at the ocean now, not meeting my eyes. “You talked about yours at dinner. I just… I wanted you to know you’re not alone in that.”
“I didn’t know your father had passed. I’m sorry.”
“How would you know?” She gave a sad smile. “It’s not like we’ve exactly shared life stories.”
“What happened?” I asked gently. “If you don’t mind talking about it.”
She took a sip of champagne and then looked down into the glass. Maybe that was blunt. Was that an inappropriate question? I thought maybe she wouldn’t answer.
Then she took a deep breath. “He had a stroke. Three years ago. Completely unexpected.” Her voice was steady, but I could hear the pain underneath.
“He was working in his shop at our beach house in the Hamptons. That’s where he spent most of his time, tinkering with his motorcycle, fixing things.
My mom went out to bring him iced tea—she did that every afternoon, like clockwork—and found him on the floor. ”
“Shit, Hallie.”
“I was at work when my mom called.” A tear slipped down her cheek. “I can still hear the way her voice broke when she told me. Like her whole world had just shattered. Which I guess it had.”
Without thinking, I moved across the hot tub toward her. When another tear fell, I reached up and wiped it away with my thumb.
She looked at me, her eyes shining with unshed tears, and something passed between us. Recognition, maybe. Understanding. Two people who’d both lost their fathers. Who knew what that particular brand of grief felt like.
“My dad died last year,” I heard myself saying. “A few days after Christmas. He’d been struggling with heart disease for almost twenty years. We knew it was coming, but somehow that didn’t make it any easier.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“It broke Frankie into pieces,” I continued. “She was always closer to him than I was. But we got through it together. We had to. She’s all I have left.”
Hallie was studying me with those dark eyes, and I felt uncomfortably exposed. Like she could see past all the walls I’d built, straight through to the parts of myself I kept hidden.
“It broke her, but not you?” she asked softly.
The question was valid and maybe just a little too spot on.
Because she was right, wasn’t she? Frankie had grieved openly, had cried and raged and slowly healed.
While I had done what? Buried it? Covered it up with work and women and anything else that would distract me from the gaping hole my father’s death had left?
I tried to put myself back together, to rebuild the walls she’d somehow managed to peek behind. “I don’t break so easily.”
It was a lie, and from the look in her eyes, she knew it.
She searched my face, like she was trying to climb that wall and take another peek.
I had the unsettling feeling that she could see everything I was trying to hide.
The grief I’d never properly processed. The fear that I’d never live up to my father’s legacy.
The nightmares that had been plaguing me since this whole fake engagement started.
Everything.
“I’m getting warm,” she said finally, pulling back. “And a bit dizzy. I think it’s time to call it a night.”
She stood, water streaming off her body, and I tried very hard not to notice the way the bathing suit clung to her body. Tried not to think about how easy it would be to reach for her, pull her back down, and kiss her until the grief melted away.
But I didn’t.
Because despite everything, Hallie felt different.
Important.
I didn’t want to violate that comfortable space between us.