Chapter 15
Chapter Fifteen
Harper
Iwoke before dawn, my head on his chest, right where it had been when I drifted off to sleep the night before. At some point, we’d moved from the rug in front of the fire to the luxurious king-sized bed.
I could remember not wanting to close my eyes, not wanting the night to end, unsure what the new day would bring.
Had we made a mistake and gone too far?
Being with Grayson never felt like a mistake, but…
For a long moment, I let myself lie still, listening to his steady breathing, feeling his heart beat beneath me, before I moved out from under his arm to look at him properly.
He slept on his back. His features seemed softer in sleep. Almost boyish again. The same boy I’d fallen in love with all those years ago. Only he wasn’t a boy anymore.
My chest ached as I studied him, letting myself imagine what might have been if I’d never left all those years ago.
Would we still be happy in Trickle Creek together?
Would we be married? Have children?
Would I have gone to culinary school?
Would we have traveled together? Or stayed and put down roots?
I knew the answers to some of those questions; others I could only guess at before my thoughts shifted to what could be if it were real this time.
What would it be like waking up to Grayson every morning?
Having coffee in bed before he went to the store, and me to the restaurant.
Would we spend our weekends curled up together, content with a simple life? Or would we be planning adventures, eager to travel together?
Would a small-town life be enough after all this time? Or would I always yearn for more?
Careful not to wake him, I slipped from the bed. In the living room, I found his shirt in a ball on the floor. I pulled it over my arms, inhaling his scent as it surrounded me like a hug.
I started a pot of coffee in the attached kitchen before I crouched in front of the fire, coaxing the embers back to life with a few fresh logs. Sparks crackled, and the smoke curled as the fire caught once more.
Outside, grey predawn started to creep across the sky. I grabbed a fluffy blanket from the couch and wrapped myself in it, before pouring a mug of coffee and settling into the couch.
It was the perfect morning.
And it scared the hell out of me.
What if I was being naive? What if last night had been nothing more than nostalgia and the wine and years of loneliness catching up with us? What if we’d gotten caught up in the pretending and gotten carried away?
What if I let myself believe it could work out between us, only to be broken in two again?
Did I even want to stay?
I lifted the mug to my lips and blew on the hot liquid.
There were more questions than I had answers for.
The job offer still sat on my phone unanswered. Six months in the Mediterranean as a head chef. It was everything I’d ever worked for. It was a dream come true.
At least, it had been.
The longer I hesitated on accepting the offer, the further away that dream felt.
And then there was Grandma. She tired so easily now, even when she tried to hide it.
I still didn’t know what was going on with her health, but I didn’t need the details to know that she wasn’t getting any younger.
She’d worked so hard her entire life. For me.
She deserved to rest and enjoy her retirement.
But I knew the only way she would step away from the kitchen completely was if I stayed.
For her, I’d stay.
But would it be enough?
I wrapped my hands around the mug of coffee and stared into the flames, searching for answers.
“Good morning.” Grayson’s voice, still rough from sleep, came from behind me. A moment later, his arms slid over the couch and around my shoulders as he pressed a kiss to the top of my head. “The bed felt empty without you.”
I turned to give him a half smile but held onto his hand. “I didn’t want to wake you.”
“I wouldn’t have complained.” He gave me a sexy smile and kissed my hand. “Mind if I join you?”
Grayson
If it were up to me, I would have stayed tangled up in Harper all morning—her legs around mine, her hair spilling over my chest, the warmth of our bodies keeping the real world at bay.
Waking up to an empty bed had given me a jolt. For a moment, I panicked and thought maybe I’d dreamed the night before.
Instead, I found her by the fire, wrapped in a blanket, holding a cup of coffee and staring into the fire. She’d stoked the flames back to life, and they painted her in a warm glow. For a second, I’d just watched, letting myself believe that this was really my life. And it was all real.
Maybe it wasn’t a bad thing that she’d slipped away before I could wake up to see her lying there next to me. I needed whatever reminders I could get that this wasn’t permanent.
I took a moment to pour myself a cup of coffee and top up Harper’s before joining her on the couch in front of the warm fire. She leaned into me, and I wrapped my arm around her, pulling her close.
“So…” I tipped my head toward her. “About last night.”
Her face flushed. She bit her bottom lip. “What about it?”
“We got a little carried away, didn’t we?” I chuckled a little and took a sip of the hot coffee.
“I don’t regret anything, Grayson.”
“Good,” I said. Her words loosened the knot in my chest. “Neither do I.” That was a lie.
I regretted the fact that I hadn’t told her exactly how I felt.
But I’d have to live with that particular regret, because there was no way I was going to tell her that my feelings were far from pretend. It wasn’t fair. To either of us.
We sat for another beat. I gestured to the pile of clothes still lying on the floor. “Although, I guess we should address our…well, our lack of planning. Are you…”
“I’m on the Pill,” she said. “It’s fine.”
I relaxed a little more. “Well, I guess this means I’m fully committed to the deception we have going here.”
“It would seem so.” She laughed. “I hope you know this wasn’t some big ploy to get you back into my bed.”
“I hope not.” I kept my voice light, going along with her teasing. “Because, for the record, there are easier ways to seduce me.”
She burst out laughing.
Careful not to spill either of our coffees, I wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her close to kiss her. “Might as well fully embrace my role, right?”
Harper licked her bottom lip and nodded a little before kissing me back.
Fuck, yes. I’d fully commit to my role as her fake boyfriend for as long as she’d let me. Especially if these were the perks.
I should have left it there, but the words slipped out before I could stop them. “It does make me wonder, though…”
Her brows lifted a little. She pulled back. “Wonder what?”
“What’s the end game, Harper? I mean, what’s next for you?” I tried to keep the question casual, but there was a weight behind it I couldn’t deny. “When the holidays are over, I mean.”
Her smile dimmed, and for a moment, she didn’t answer. She turned to gaze into the fire as if the flames held the answers. “I don’t know yet.”
It wasn’t a lie, but it also didn’t feel like the truth.
Before I could push, she shifted the conversation. “What about you? If Ollie’s selling the store, what does that mean for you?”
I rubbed the back of my neck, grounding myself in the somewhat safer topic. “I don’t know yet,” I said. “There hasn’t really been much time to talk to him about it with the Christmas season and…well, everything.”
She smiled sympathetically. “So what does that mean for you? I mean, you’ve been there for so long and from what I can gather, you already run the place. If he sells…”
I blew out a breath. “Can I tell you something I haven’t told anyone else yet?”
“Of course.” She turned so she faced me head-on.
“I want to buy it.” Saying the words out loud concreted it within me. “I’ve actually been working on a plan for a while now.”
“Really?” Harper lit up with enthusiasm so genuine, I couldn’t help but smile. “That’s amazing. That would be so perfect for you. What did he say when you told him?”
The smile fell from my face. “I haven’t had a chance to tell him yet. It’s been…”
“Grayson! What are you waiting for?”
“I told you, it’s been so busy.”
“No.” She shook her head firmly and set her coffee cup down. “This is too important to wait. Text him right now.”
“What?”
She tilted her head. “I mean, why are you waiting?”
“Because…well…it’s Christmas.”
She laughed. “Tomorrow is Christmas Eve,” she challenged. “Today is only Christmas Eve Eve. So tell him you want to talk on the twenty-sixth. Let him know you’re interested. What’s the worst that could happen?”
She had a good point. I shrugged.
“Well…what are you waiting for?”
“Oh. You mean right now?”
Harper laughed. “Right now, Grayson.”
I shook my head and pushed up from the couch to go in search of my cell phone. I found it in the back pocket of my pants, still crumpled on the floor, before I rejoined her on the couch.
With a breath, I typed the message before I could talk myself out of it.
Merry Christmas, Ollie. I should have said something earlier, but I’d like to have a serious conversation about me buying the store from you. Please text or give me a call when you can so we can discuss.
“There.” I hit Send and sat back. “Happy?”
Her smile widened, and she leaned forward to wrap her arms around my neck. “Very.”
As I sank into the familiar warmth of her embrace, I realized that for the first time in a very long time, I was, too.