35. Casey
Chapter Thirty-Five
CASEY
Let me help you.
Every time Leo’s words circled through my thoughts, I had to blink away tears.
I was relieved I had to go to work at the café early because it kept me from dwelling too much. The days were starting to get longer and it was wild to me how long the sun stayed up. It was only May, and sunrise was before six a.m. with sunset after ten p.m. at night.
The café was still and quiet at five in the morning. I loved arriving here so early. My short walk from my apartment next door was beautiful with the air crisp and fresh and the sky awash in tangerine and gold. The snow was still melting on the top of the mountains. With that, there was lots of chatter about mud season, something I’d never experienced. Since I lived and worked downtown, I didn’t notice it all that much, although I did see lots of muddy yards when I was driving. There were also plenty of people tromping mud into the café.
Josie insisted she had to take me out for a hike so I could experience mud season in all its glory. There was also lots of talk about betting on when the ice would crack on the rivers. I loved Alaska and I loved Willow Brook. I was startled to discover it already felt like home. I truly felt like I belonged here.
Ever since I’d started my travels across the United States, I’d wondered if I would fall in love with any area. The salty breezes in coastal North Carolina lived in my heart and always would. Alaska was the only other place that felt like home. Oddly, it felt even more like home to me than North Carolina had. Alaska had been the last place on my bucket list.
I’d traveled to New England during the stunning beauty of autumn. I’d hiked in the White Mountains and the Green Mountains. I’d driven through the Adirondacks and the Catskills. Niagara Falls had taken my breath away with a sense of wonder and awe. I’d driven through the Midwest, enjoying the wind in the grasses and the way the sunset wowed me. I’d watched a storm coming from miles and miles away on the flat landscape. Upper Michigan had been a sweet surprise. No one had told me how pretty it was. The Great Lakes lived up to their name. They were so big it almost felt like standing on the shore of the ocean.
I’d headed south again and passed through the Badlands of South Dakota, all the way to the Grand Canyon, yet another breathtaking place. The redwoods of California made me feel like a tiny speck in the universe, and the Pacific Northwest was a lush area.
That was the last stop before I made my way to Alaska. The drive to Alaska was filled with vast beauty. It was also longer than I’d expected and offered plenty of wildlife to see. I’d seen mountain goats and grizzly bears from a distance, along with moose, caribou, wolves, coyotes, and more birds than I could count.
When I stopped in Anchorage and asked about nearby towns, Willow Brook came up repeatedly. It was rumored to have good restaurants, an art gallery, and lots of summer jobs. I’d been so tired the night I made it here. My choice to stop at Firehouse Café opened a doorway into a new life and a place where I felt I belonged.
I could tell Luna had already been here this morning with trays of donuts ready to go into the oven soon. I puttered around in the kitchen, heating up a leftover ham and cheese twist before heading to the front to make an espresso with a dash of dark chocolate in it while I got ready to open.
All the while, my heart ached a little. I worried that somehow Nathaniel was going to steal the peace I’d started to find. I didn’t honestly know how Leo could help me with any of this mess.
I heard the door to the kitchen open, followed by Luna’s voice calling out, “Hey, it’s me!”
“Hey! Want a coffee?”
Luna appeared over the waist-high swinging door from the back, her cheeks pink from the cool air as she smiled at me. “The answer is always yes,” she teased. “I’m going to put the donuts in the oven.”
I got her coffee ready, and a few minutes later, we sat together in the back. I liked Luna and felt lucky to be her friend. She was quirky and sweet and carried a sense of protective warmth. Whenever I was with her, I felt like somehow everything would be okay.
With her hands curled around her mug, she looked over at me. “What’s wrong?”
“What do you mean?” I hedged.
Her big eyes blinked. “You don’t have to tell me, but I’m worried. You’ve been looking sad and anxious for days now.”
My throat felt thick and my chest tight. I blinked to keep the tears from rolling down my cheeks. “I’m sorry. I’m so used to keeping everything to myself and—” My words ended abruptly. I took a quick breath, trying to loosen the anxiety that was starting to spin like a storm inside.
She set her mug down, leaning across the table and reaching for my hands with hers. “You don’t have to talk about it, but if you want to, I’m here.”
I swallowed and took a shaky breath before the whole story poured out. Luna already knew the general details of what happened to my sister, but I’d been holding in all the stress around Nathaniel.
“You need to tell Officer Blankenship about those texts from him,” she insisted. “Don’t wait on this. Because if you wait, you’re just giving Nathaniel time to muck things up.”
“I know, I know. Leo wants to help, but there’s nothing he can do. I don’t want to break up with him, but he has Dora to think about. He doesn’t need to be worrying about this.”
Luna was sipping her coffee again and tipped her head to the side. “Casey, let Leo be there for you. What will that hurt?”
I shrugged. “I just feel like I need this resolved before more can happen with us. I worry about Dora.” I didn’t know how to explain it, but there was a lingering fear I couldn’t banish. Maybe it was because Nathaniel had already taken one person I loved.
Luna’s nose wrinkled, her ponytail bouncing as she nodded. “After everything she’s been through, I understand.”
“Talk to Leo about it. Better yet, talk about it with your therapist.” She paused, laughing a little at this. “You two have a couples therapist because you dragged him into that appointment.”
Her comment lightened the moment, and I giggled. “I have no idea what I was thinking that day.”
Luna shrugged. “It’s not the craziest thing to do.” Her gaze sobered. “In all honesty, knowing what you’ve been carrying about your sister and the pressure from your parents, I don’t blame you. I’d make up a fiancé too just to get them to shut the fuck up. As painful as it is that your parents are struggling to believe how Nathaniel was involved, denial is a coping skill, even if it’s not healthy. Eventually, the whole truth will come out.”
Her observation echoed in my thoughts when I played a message from my parents later.
“We’re coming to visit! We decided it was time. See you soon!”