10. Trevor
We’re both quiet when we get back home. After our long hug outside, Gracie’s cheeks have maintained a rosy, crimson shade, and she’s been avoiding my gaze.
“Gracie,” I call when she hurries to walk away from me after we walk into the house. I take her wrist before she makes it far, and twirl her around so she faces me again.
She gasps, and her eyes widen. “I should get inside,” Gracie stutters before lowering her eyes from mine again.
Her lower lip quivers; it seems like she’s terrified of something.
Truth is, I get the feeling. That hug and spending the night with her is the highlight of my day. I haven’t enjoyed anyone’s company this much in years. Most times, when I hang out with my teammates or girls from the club, I find myself missing Gracie’s easy laugh and her vibrant nature.
She’s the best part of my memories of living in Golden Bay.Gracie makes it possible for me to forget all about my parents’ horrid past. The fighting, the cheating. It’s the reason why I must always protect Gracie. I must protect her from myself.
Her eyes have been on mine for a while, and I can see right through those sage-green eyes. It’s like they would pierce through my soul if I didn’t look away. The pressure in my chest builds as the seconds tick away, and I find myself leaning closer to her.
Gracie gasps just when I reach out to cup her chin and pull her close. I would have kissed her at that moment if she didn’t pull away. I would have given into my greatest desires and taken her lips.
“Goodnight,” she says, then hurries away from me. Her bedroom door closes and echoes through the entire house, sending a shudder right through me.
I stay rooted to that spot for a moment, then massage the back of my neck to get rid of the kinks there. My phone beeps a second later, and I take it out to read the text from Zane.
You’re back in. You should be at the next practice. I’ll let you know about renewing your contract later on.
Zane’s text is good news, and it should make me excited, but at that moment, Gracie is all I can think about. The twirl of desire running through my veins is more intense than ever, and I know there’s no fighting it.
***
A few days later, I’m back in practice, and my teammates are all excited to see me move on the court, dribble the ball, and make alley-oop passes to my teammates.
“That’s my man!” Billy, a team player, yells, and the rest cheer as I dribble and wipe the sweat off my forehead. My grin widens as we end the practice for the morning and gather around in a circle.
“Good to have you back, man,” my teammates greet me, and I shake hands with all of them, sparing hugs to those who come close. We’re a total of fifteen guys on my team, and each of us has to show up to practice, regardless of the call roster for the game.
“Are the rumors true?” Billy asks. “Dude, the media’s raving about your marriage to the small-town girly. Are you gonna let us meet her?”
“Trevor’s never gonna do that,” another team player chirps in.
They soon start talking to each other, and I chuckle a little before shaking my head. “Guys,” I call to get their attention. “I just got back, guys,” I say to them as I glance at their expectant faces. It’s a tradition for every team player to host a party after a successful game, and since we have a game coming up in a week, I’ll be the next host.
“Fine, fine…I’ll let all of you meet her after the game next week.”
There’s a lot of laughter and celebration in the air after that, and Billy walks over to pat my shoulder. “Can’t believe you got tied down, man. It’s insane,” he says with a cheery laugh. “No one would ever believe it.”
I’m still smiling as I watch them head out of the court. The ball’s still in my hand, and I stare at it for a while, grinning because getting back on the team is what I wanted.
My suspension has been lifted, and chances are my contract will be renewed because I’m a good player. So why does it feel like something is missing?
I am lost in solemn thoughts when I return home. From the doorway, I inhale the whiff of blended ginger and cinnamon. Whatever Gracie is cooking already makes my mouth water.
I head past the living room and get to the kitchen to find her humming and dancing while she stirs something in a pot. My heart stirs a little as I take in the sight of her once again.
She looks so at ease, like she’s meant to be here.
A pang enters my heart as I remember she won’t be here forever. When Gracie leaves, I’ll be left lonely again, and there’ll be no way to fill the void she leaves behind.
“What’re you cooking?” I ask, and she turns around with a gasp to find me watching her from the doorway. Gracie breaks into a smile and chuckles before she wipes her hand over the napkin she’s holding.
“A casserole,” she answers. “Remember my mom’s recipe?”
“How can I ever forget? She made us eat that for dinner every Saturday,” I answer and join in her hearty laugh as I enter the kitchen and pull out a chair to sit on. “I missed it, though. I barely have the time to eat anything from my own kitchen around here.”
“Always working, huh?” she says with a light shake of her head. “I thought athletes were supposed to care for their bodies?”
“We do,” I counter. “Have you seen me? I’m like a Greek God.”
Gracie laughs harder when I get up and flex my biceps to show their bulge. “See that right there?”
“You’re funny,” she says with a tiny snort that I find cute. Her eyes widen and she plasters a hand over her lips before laughing some more.
“Well, you’re back on the team and now I’m your fake wife, so you’ve got nothing to worry about. You’ll have something warm waiting when you get back.”
She turns around again, and my gaze drifts over her figure in her jean shorts. Her creamy legs catch my attention, and I can’t stop staring till she faces me again.
Gracie arches a brow when she catches me gawking at her.
“Are you checking me out, Hawkins?” she asks in a low voice that reminds me of the night when I asked her the same question eight years ago.
I recall that night vividly. We were at Gracie”s eighteenth birthday party when I caught her staring at me, a drink in her hand. As our eyes met, she quickly turned away, trying to hide her blush.
I had admired her back then, too, and teasing her had come easy because I could tell she liked me too. Gracie was only eighteen back then, but she had easily stolen my attention.
Are you checking me out, baby girl?That question made her choke on her drink back then and cough so hard that I feared she would burn from the flush all over her skin.
Gracie’s still staring at me now, and she tilts her head to one side like she’s trying to figure me out.
“You know what will be fun?” I ask. “You should hang out with me and my boys after the game next week. I can’t leave you shacked up here every time on your own, and I’ll finally get the chance to introduce you to a friend of mine who’s a publisher. I’m sure he’ll love your work.”
Gracie’s smile fades at the mention of a publisher, and I notice how she pales before she even drags in a deep breath.
“What is it?” My heart pounds with the force of my worry. I leave my seat and go to her before she turns away. “Talk to me, Gracie. I can’t fix it if I don’t know what’s wrong.” My murmur envelopes us in a spike of rising heat, and she tries to avoid my eyes.
“I just…I don’t know if I’m ready yet,” she whispers, licking her lips. “I mean, I don’t know if I’m ready to show my work to anyone yet. It’s still a work in progress and I don’t think it’s good enough yet.”
“Don’t do that, Gracie,” I interrupt. “Don’t ever think that you’re not good enough ever. I read your writing in the past. It wasn’t complete, but it was good. You’re good, and I’m sure the publisher will like you once you meet him. Okay?”
When she nods, I stroke a hand down the side of her cheek and lift her chin high a little so she can stare at me. Our gazes merge into one, and I can’t control the rush of adrenaline that swamps through me right then. Gracie melts me inside, and I forget why I need to stay away from her.
I forget that I can’t let myself enjoy these feelings because then I will fall in love with her, and it’ll end in a disaster. Because love never lasts. My mom’s experience is a first-class example of what happens when you give your heart to someone. She ended up heartbroken and battered by the man she devoted her heart to.
“Oh, Gracie,” I murmur, shake my head, then dip to brush my lips over hers. Gracie stiffens, then she moans and parts her soft lips for me.
The kiss lasts a second, and it’s heaven. I never want it to end, but she plasters her hands on my chest and pulls back from me. My lids stay close for a moment as a heated breath escapes my lips.
Gracie obviously feels the steady rise and fall of my heart beneath her hands.
She sighs, too, and I open my eyes to stare at her. “Don’t, Trevor,” she whispers as tears fill her eyes. “Stop making me waver. We both know I’m never going to be good enough for you.”
“Gracie, wait please…” She turns away from me, ignoring my call as she dashes out of the kitchen and heads to her bedroom.
I hate the twist in my gut and the pain slicing through me as Gracie runs away. Gracie’s wrong in every way. It’s not that she’s not good enough for me. It’s me who will never be good enough for her!