12. Trevor
Gracie is the only thing I think about. After my outburst in the kitchen, my friends and I decided to spend the night playing video games and drinking. It’s a usual boys” hang-out theme, and I prefer to have their company around tonight because it’ll help distract my thoughts from the woman driving me insane in the next room.
My boys are enjoying the game while we’re in the living room, and I’m nursing my can of soda, watching them play while trying to analyze my thoughts.
I never should have told her about my parents,I think with a deep sigh. I’ve never wanted Gracie to see me as weak or broken. Now that she knows about my past, she might think I’m living with a deep scar in my heart. I’ve never wanted her to see me as weak or broken, so I’ve never explained this to her.
The truth is, my parents lived their lives and made their mistakes. I don’t intend to make the same mistakes and allow myself to experience the same hurt my mother endured. My fear constantly nags me. What if I turn out to be just like my father? Gracie deserves better than that.
“Hey,” Billy calls to gain my attention after some time, and I turn to look at him before lowering my can to the ground.
“So, what’s up with you and the small-town girly?” he asks. “You two really married? In such a short time? There’s been rumors in the team, man. They think you’re putting on a show for management.”
Billy is my closest friend among my teammates, and he’s the only one I’ve ever been able to confide in. Billy stares at me inquisitively, and I sigh before shaking my head.
“She’s just a friend,” I whisper to him.
His eyes widen, and I motion for him to come with me. We head to the kitchen, and I grab a bottle of brandy from my top shelf, pour us a glass, and then pull out a chair to sit.
“What do you mean by she’s just a friend? You two are together, right? Like you’re dating and all?”
“I don’t believe in that sort of thing you know,” I answer with a shrug. “Gracie’s just a girl who’s had a thing for me for as long as I can remember. Her brother’s my best friend, so we go way back. I needed someone to help with my reputation, and she was the perfect choice. She knows everything about me, so it won’t be weird.”
“So, you’re not together? You’re not in love with her? All of this is just a story you cooked up to get everyone thinking you’re deeply in love and not as arrogant and rude as they think in reality?”
It takes a while before I nod, and Billy tosses his head back as he bursts into a wide cackle. “Dude, that’s genius,” he comments and slaps my arm.
“Keep it down,” I hush him. “I don’t want anyone else hearing about this. It was all Zane’s idea from the start. Management thinks if I settle down, then I won’t be tagged as America’s most promiscuous anymore.”
Billy keeps raving about my plan with Zane, and an image of Gracie’s face comes to mind. I recall the warmth of her embrace and how it made my heart sing with the melodious zap of electricity I had only ever experienced with her.
Gracie makes me waver each time she comes close. She makes me long for more. For a life I know can’t let myself have.
***
The next morning after practice, Gracie is sitting in the kitchen with a mug in one hand and her laptop on the table. I notice her absent-minded stare when I walk into the room.
“Gracie?” She doesn’t answer after I call her the first time, so I walk over to her and touch her shoulder lightly.
Gracie flinches out of my touch with a sigh, then pulls her chair back, picks up her laptop, and walks out of the kitchen. I don’t miss the glazed, teary look in her eyes when I catch a glimpse of her face briefly.
I hurry out of the kitchen after her and enter her room before she slams the door in my face.
“Are you okay? You’re crying? Why are you crying?”
She wipes a hand over her cheeks and sniffs hard. “Nothing.”
“That’s a lie.” I can tell from the tears in her eyes and the red look on her face that she’s not okay.
When Gracie meets my eyes, something about the pained look there breaks my heart a little.
“I just…I was foolish to think I can do this,” she mutters.
Cold seeps through me the moment those words leave her lips.
“What? What are you talking about?”
I try to touch her hand, but she withdraws from my touch. “Gracie, come on…Is this about last night? What I told you about my parents?”
“No,” she answers vehemently. “This is about me, and you…This is about you and me, Trevor. You’re never going to see me, and I was stupid to let myself hope that it’ll be different this time.”
She sniffs again, and her sharp intake of breath sends another slicing ache through me.
“I want to help you…I do, but I can’t do it for much longer, Trevor. I don’t think I’ll last three months here.”
She turns her back to me and muffles a sob with her hand over her mouth while hugging her laptop close to her chest. I retreat from her room, close the door, and then lean over it for a time.
The sounds of her sobs from inside make my heart clench tighter till it’s difficult for me to breathe. I stand there for a long time, listening to her sobs till it finally subsides and silence fills the air.
My head pounds when I finally head to my room for a quick shower. My phone’s buzzing in my practice bag and I quickly take it out to see it’s a call from Zane.
“Have you seen the news?” Zane asks in a desperate voice as I plaster the phone to my ear. “Goodness, Hawkins, what did you tell Billy? It’s all over the news, man. There’s a media hunt for Gracie right now. Every news outlet wants information from her.”
“What? I don’t understand?”
I drop the call before Zane can say more, then scroll through the series of Instagram feeds and comments on my page before reading the blog post carrying mine and Gracie’s photo.
Insider source confirms fake marriage between basketball star player Trevor Hawkins and his high-school sweetheart.
Dang it, Billy!He’s the only one I told about mine and Gracie’s arrangement to change my reputation in the media. How could he do this to me?