Chapter 6
Ethan
Nelly is fast asleep in her room, and all I can do is think about her lips on mine.
Why did I do that? Why did I kiss her?
I can’t explain the rush of adrenaline that surged through me or the fierce burst of anger that surmounted every other feeling when I saw those men putting their hands on her.
I’ve stayed away from Nelly and stopped myself from wanting her because I think she deserves a better man.
One who will want romance and love like she does.
It’s why I blanked her out five years ago and dated some random woman when I knew my feelings for Nelly were becoming intense.
That's why I ran away from her.
I should have known being close to Nelly all the time now will be tricky, but I assumed I had my feelings under control.
Time should have resolved these irrational stirs of hunger she ignites in me. But it hasn’t. Our kiss proves I still want her.
My feelings for Nelly grew over the years. Seeing her dedication to her parents' company now only reminds me of how hard she studied to make it through college and business school.
I have always admired that about her, and being by her side and supporting her dreams is something I dreamed of doing.
The burn sliding through me is intense, and there’s no fighting it. Curious to know if she’s asleep, I walk over to her room and knock softly.
When Nelly doesn’t reply, I open the door slowly and peep into the room.
“Nelly?”
Her response is a soft sigh. She is curled into a ball under her duvet, her upper body exposed.
Sighing, I walk into her room and pull the duvet fully over her body. I’m tempted to stay longer and admire her as she sleeps.
We might have to talk about the kiss tomorrow, I think, wondering how Nelly will act by morning.
For me, I know I have to stop thinking about it. It’s the only way I will stop myself from kissing her again.
I stroke my hands over my hair and massage the back of my neck as I feel my face starting to heat up. After exiting Nelly’s room, I return to mine, flop onto my bed, and try to catch some sleep.
I toss and turn in bed for a long time, unable to relax even while trying to control my breathing.
What if this is a mistake?
Fooling everyone into thinking we’re in love might be easy, but what about how I really feel?
With a deep sigh, I sit up and bury my head in both hands. Looks like it will be a while before I can sleep, so I leave my room with my laptop and settle down to work in the living room.
After brewing some coffee, I focus on work for a few hours, checking my stocks, and any updates from the teams working on my newest projects. The caffeine gives my nerves a buzz and keeps me focused for most of the night.
I’m feeling relaxed after midnight, and when I finally feel drowsy, I head for the couch in the living room.
The next time I open my eyes, Nelly’s peering down at me, her brows squished together in a confused look, her scent enveloping my senses.
“What the …” I gasp from the shock of seeing her leaned over me, and I jerk upright on the couch. Nelly gasps too, backs away, and nearly stumbles down to the ground before I catch her wrist and tug her back to me.
She lands on my chest, her body sprawled halfway over mine. Every muscle in me stiffens, and neither of us moves. My nerves come alive with a force greater than before, and I know it’ll take more than coffee to calm me down this time.
I love the feel of her soft body over mine and the light thud of her heart as her chest rests on me. Nelly recovers quickly, flattening her palms on my chest and pushing away from me.
“You scared me to death.” I sit upright before I clear my throat.
“You kept murmuring in your sleep.” She shoots one eyebrow up as she props a hand on her hips. Her silk nightwear is a beige tone that blends right with her creamy skin.
A lump forms in my throat, and I force my gaze away from her, ignoring the greedy roar of blood in my veins, pulsating and urging me to take in more of her.
“What did I say?” I plant my feet on the ground so I can get off the couch.
“You kept calling my name. Nellyyyyyyyy.”
Oh no! She eyes me slowly, and the trail of her gaze leaves a waking fire in my loins.
“That’s not possible,” I lie, recovering quickly as heat scalds the back of my neck again.
“Really?” she insists. “Could have sworn you said my name.”
Nelly turns away from me then and heads over to the kitchen. “Coffee?”
Nelly looks calm compared to how I feel as my eyes scan over her face. Only the hint of crimson on her cheek as she turns away makes me suspect she feels jittery too.
“I’ve had enough,” I answer dryly, treading into the kitchen after her because I want to look at her some more. She still has a light flush on her skin as she pours herself a mug. I wonder if she wants to talk about the kiss.
Her hair’s twisted into a bun, but some strands fall to the sides of her face in curls that make my fingers itch with the urge to touch her. All of her. My heart picks up that familiar thudding pace again, and I can’t seem to calm down my racing pulse.
I lick my lips, and her mug pauses mid-way to her mouth. She looks at me over the rim of the mug, and I suddenly feel nervous because her eyes are too intense.
“We should … uhm …” I clear my throat, then muster the courage to meet her eyes. “Last night was a slip, Nelly.”
“I was going to say the same things.” Her eyes widen as she lowers her coffee mug to the table. “If we’re going to do this successfully, then we should stick to the agreement. Last night can’t happen again.”
“Yes, absolutely,” I agree in a rush.
An awkward silence hangs between us before I lift a hand to rub the back of my neck.
“We should head out for the day and try to get more pictures of us having the time of our lives here on the island.”
“Yes,” she chuckles, “Because we need to convince the world that you’ve indeed fallen in love with me, Casanova.”
“Hey … We need to convince them that you love and chose me also,” I counter in a playful tone.
She rolls her eyes as we laugh together, then she sighs heavily. “It’s just … I didn’t think I’d get married anytime soon, and I’m not doing it the traditional way of meeting someone and falling in love.”
I sense the hint of disappointment in her tone as she continues. “I’m doing this with you, and you are …”
“Sexy? charming? Too hot to handle?” I chirp in, trying to make her laugh again because I’m getting addicted to that sound.
“Don’t flatter yourself,” she tosses back with sass, and laughter rolls from both our lips. The light mirth bubbles in the air and a smile draws out on my lips as I’m once again lost in her eyes.
My gaze drifts to her lips, and I want to kiss her again. I swallow hard as the urge spikes an unremorseful shot of desire right through me.
When she nibbles on her lower lip, the rush drowning every reasonable thought nearly overpowers my senses. Tom’s warning is the only thing that brings me back to my senses.
“I’ll make it less painful for you.” I sound huskier than I intend to, and Nelly slowly nods before she looks away from me.
“What happens when we get back to L.A.?” she asks, while toying with her fingers.
“I’ll meet with my grandfather and have him appoint me as CEO of Hart Holdings. You have nothing to worry about.”
She seems worried, though. Her complexion pales a little, and the way she licks her lips proves there’s something on her mind.
“I …” she begins, then trails off again. “It’s not ideal that I would ask this of you, but when we finally merge, can we minimize the cuts on the departments and staff we would have to lay off? I know it’s inevitable and some jobs will be lost, but these people have families, Ethan. I can’t be responsible for taking away their means of livelihood. When we merge, can we at least minimize the impact on the employees? I don’t want to be one of those employers that sells out and doesn’t care about their employees.”
Her misty eyes land on mine, and the softness of her tone proves to me that she really cares about this.
“I can’t promise you anything, Nelly. You know that,” I hate the tears in her eyes, but also, this is a business deal, and it’s normal that there would be some lay-offs and restructuring.
“I know but …”
“I understand what you’re worried about.” I reach for her hand across the table without thinking. “While I do intend to let you operate mostly autonomously, there will have to be some restructuring. The employees that we do lay off will be well compensated with their full pay, an advance for the next month, and a brilliant letter of recommendation that will help them find work somewhere else. I can do that at least.”
She draws in a full breath and releases a trembling one before her shoulders sag with the weight of her relief. “That’s more than I can ask for,” she says, a smile tugging on both corners of her lips.
Light returns to her eyes, and that fills me with an intense warmth. The feelings Nelly stirs in me aren’t new. They are just overwhelming.
I haven’t felt them in years.
Not since my ex-fiancé cheated on me years ago a few days before our wedding. I’d been young, na?ve, and foolishly in love with her.
Julia Brene. Remembering her now leaves a sour taste in my mouth and a tightening squeeze of my chest that ends in an ache. I thought she was the woman I would spend the rest of my life with. I was madly in love with her and was willing to marry her even while we were still undergraduates at Stanford.
It didn’t matter how young we were. Julia had consumed me, and I thought I would stay in love with her forever.
Until I walked into a restaurant with Tom and Robyn for dinner and found her kissing Joe Storms.
An image of Joe Storms’s smile from the day he showed up at Nelly’s office came to mind.
I slowly withdraw from her and ball my right hand into a fist under the table. Julia is dead to me now, but it doesn’t change the ferocious twisting slice of pain in my gut each time I think about love and happy ever afters.
My parents didn’t have one either, so why should I believe it exists?
I’ve never loved another or let myself get close to anyone since then. It was strictly pleasure with every other woman I’d been with, regardless of what the media or anyone in my life thinks.
Better avoid falling for anyone than experiencing that sort of heartbreak again, right?
It’s why doing this with Nelly is the best option.
I let out a breath, pull my thoughts out of the past, and offer Nelly a shaky smile before getting on my feet.
“You should get ready,” I say as I head for the door. “We’ll explore the town later today and take some pictures for social media. Don’t forget, we have to make this as real as possible.”
“Got it.”
Her cheeky smile makes my heart do a speedy dive again as I leave the kitchen.
Choosing Nelly for this is supposed to be an easy way out of falling in love and getting married, but something about her smile and the way her eyes light up makes me think that keeping things casual will be harder than I anticipated.