Chapter 3
Three
Logan
“What crawled up your ass and died?”
I glance over my shoulder from my place on the couch later that evening to find one of my roommates, Willow, coming up from the basement. She’s rather done-up for a Monday night—her hair curled around her shoulders and wearing a full face of makeup—when she drops down on the couch beside me.
“What makes you say that?”
“The stank face you’re making right now, for one,” she says, twirling a manicured finger at me. “And two, because you’ve been sitting in that exact same position since I got home two hours ago.”
Shit, has it really been that long?
Glancing at my phone, I realize she’s right. I’ve been staring at the blank television screen and dissociating since I got home from class this afternoon.
“Oh shit.”
She hums, a self-satisfied smirk pulling at her maroon-painted lips. “My point exactly. So you gonna tell me what’s wrong or make me pry it out of you with a crowbar?”
I snort. “You, risking breaking a nail? Right.”
“You are spicy tonight.”
“I’m not spicy,” I drawl, emphasizing the word. “I’m just not putting up with your shit for once.”
“Well, if you lose the ’tude, maybe I’ll brighten your day up by allowing you to join Lexi and me for dinner at Thai Me Up.”
Willow’s snarky comment misses its mark, what with the mere mention of Lexi’s name sending my stomach into somersaults and barrel rolls. Which happens more often than not, as of late.
Then again, being head over heels in love with someone tends to have that effect.
“When are you leaving?”
Her smirk turns into a shit-eating grin. “Ah, how quickly he changes his tune.”
“You’re enjoying this too much,” I tell her, unamused, and she holds up her hands in mock surrender.
“Hey, you’re the one pussy-whipped by a girl you’re not even dating. And as her best friend, it’s my job to find entertainment in it.”
The comment instantly sets me on edge, as it often does when Willow’s observations strike the nail on the head. And while I enjoy Willow’s company, I wish she didn’t see through me like cellophane when it comes to my feelings for Lexi. Which I deny every chance I get, obviously.
“Oh, so now accepting a dinner invite is being pussy-whipped?”
“If the shoe fits…” she muses with a wry smile.
“Then maybe I won’t go if you’re gonna think I have some ulterior motive or something. You know, other than getting dinner with my friends.”
There’s some semblance of truth to my statement.
I love spending time with my friends, and Alexis Waters remains one of the few people at this godforsaken school who I actually enjoy being around.
Willow and my other roommate, Bailey, are too, of course; that’s why I asked them to move in this year too.
But they’re not Lexi.
She’s been the center of my universe since we met in the library the first week of school last year.
I overheard her at the desk on the third floor, asking where she could find a particular book; the same one I just so happened to be reading.
And though it’s not entirely in my nature to go out of my way and help a stranger, something made me offer it to her on the spot.
Could it be how absolutely stunning she was, with her hazel eyes and honey blonde hair pulled back in a long braid? Undoubtedly. But it was the way we sat and talked for hours, like we were old friends rather than strangers, that truly held my attention.
Christ. Maybe I am pussy-whipped.
The sound of the basement door opening pulls me from my reverie, and as if my thoughts are enough to will her into existence, Lexi appears in the threshold. She’s ever the girl-next-door, her hair in loose waves down her back and a wearing pair of painted on jeans and flowy shirt.
She spots us on the couch instantly, a smile wrinkling her hazel eyes around the edges.
“Hey, Loge! We’re going to…” She trails off, her expression shifting into a puzzled frown when she gets a look at my face. “What’s wrong?”
“He doesn’t want to talk about it,” Willow supplies dryly, and I pin her with a scowl.
“Or maybe you asking me what crawled up my ass and died wasn’t the right way to start a conversation about my feelings.”
“More like I wasn’t the right person,” she mutters under her breath.
Meet Willow fucking Lennox, everybody.
Despite being two years older than me, she really loves to dig under my skin the way I imagine a little sister would. Which is why I have half a mind to kick her, but it doesn’t seem like Lexi heard the comment, so I keep my limbs to myself.
No need to draw any more attention to my unfortunate infatuation.
Lexi’s frown deepens. “Well, do you want to talk about it now, or…”
“It’s just stupid shit,” I mutter as she drops onto the couch beside me, leaving me sandwiched between the two girls.
“Try me.”
Sighing, I utter, “You know how my mom informed me we’re to go see the golden child over winter break again. For Christmas, this time? Well, she called this morning to talk about it some more and…apparently I don’t really have a choice in the matter.”
She hums softly and offers an empathetic smile, and without her even speaking, I know she understands where it went wrong. After all, she gets it; what it’s like to live in the shadows of an older sibling; an athlete too, no less.
It’s one of the countless things we bonded over in the early days of our friendship.
“And let me guess,” she starts slowly. “This was after you told her multiple times you didn’t want to go, only for it to be decided you were going anyway?”
“Yep,” I mutter, popping the P for emphasis.
Her hand lands on my arm, the heat from her palm seeping into my skin like a white-hot brand. It’s a move that’s meant to be sympathetic, but all it does is flip a switch inside me; the one that changes me from the loyal best friend to the pining loser who will never have her.
And fuck, if it isn’t embarrassing as hell.
“I know it sucks, being looked over. But c’mon, Loge,” she reasons, giving me a little shake. “It can’t be all bad. You survived last year, right?”
“Barely,” I grumble, which pulls a soft lilt of laughter from her.
Willow laughs from her spot on my other side. “You don’t think that might be a little bit dramatic? It’s just New York.”
“Do you not remember me telling you we went to two hockey games in the five days we were there?” I ask, arching a brow at her.
“Okay, and what about the other three?” Willow counters, arching her perfectly shaped brow.
Honestly, I don’t remember us doing much on the activity front, only that we had to be at certain places at certain times because my brother’s schedule was so tight. Most of the time, I had my nose buried in my phone, either texting Lexi updates or watching anime to pass the time.
I blink a couple times before meeting her gaze. “I don’t know. It must’ve been so bad, I blacked it out.”
A laugh slips out—this time from Lexi—and I turn toward her.
“What’s so funny?”
“It’s New York; some say the greatest city in the world. There’s so much for you to do outside of the hockey stuff.”
I groan and drop my forehead into my palms, grumbling, “And yet, I know for a fact that’s all we’re gonna do.”
Even if Mom says it’ll be better this year, I know it’s not true. If it’s not going to Oakley’s games—where I sit and watch anime on my phone the whole time instead—then we’re doing things around the city based on Oakley’s schedule.
Quinton does his best to help me feel included, which is cool. He’s a decent guy, from what I can tell, and I guess he understands what it’s like to be the family black sheep too. But even still, he manages to fit in perfectly with mine, and that only makes me feel like more of an outcast.
“It would be a lot better if I didn’t have to be the fifth wheel the entire time.
” I roll my head to look at Lexi while resting my palm over her hand.
“Please, Lex. Is there any chance I can convince you to skip out on your familial obligations to keep me company? It’d be a lot less miserable that way. ”
Something in Lexi’s expression falters, and her gaze quickly flicks from me to Willow and back again. An unspoken exchange passes between them in that briefest moment of eye contact, only for her to pull her hand out from under mine.
“As fun as that sounds, I can’t, Logan. Not just because of going home. It’s Wyatt too. He didn’t just stop being my boyfriend when he graduated.”
Unfortunately, I am very aware of this. She was already dating the captain of the baseball team when we met. Neither Wyatt’s place as her boyfriend or her becoming one of my best friends has done anything to dissuade my feelings. Part of me wonders if I’ll ever be free of the hold she has on me.
But I’m wondering why the hell she’s bringing—
Panic slices through my gut like a blade, realization smacking me dead in the face, and my eyes pop wider as I stare at her.
“What? No, I didn’t mean like that. I meant as a friend.”
Let the record show: I did mean like that.
The inherently selfish part of me wants Lexi and Wyatt to break up so I can take her to New York, where we can go to museums and walk hand in hand through the snow-covered streets.
Hell, I’d even risk utter embarrassment by putting on a pair of skates at Bryant Park or Rockefeller Plaza, if that’s what she wanted.
But I don’t say any of this, obviously. Because we are—and probably always will be—just friends.
Doubt lines her soft features, mixing with the sympathy from earlier, and I instantly double down with the first thing I can think of.
“I’m seeing someone too.”
Willow snorts. “You’re seeing someone? Right”
“I am, but they can’t come to New York, so…” I trail off, keeping my gaze on Lexi. “I figured asking one of my friends would be the next best thing.”
Lexi’s manicured brows slide together at the center, and I know her well enough to realize she’s still dubious at best. “Who is it? And more importantly, why haven’t you told me before now?”