Chapter 21 #2
My heart sinks as so many things start to click into place, even more than they have previously. Why he seemingly switches into character around certain people. Why he chose not to tell anyone—the school included—about his dyslexia.
And to hear people were so cruel to him for something he has no control or say in? I want to kill every one of them for it. Give me the names and I’ll go fucking Death Note on their asses. Because how fucking dare they?
But I know my rage for the younger version of Camden isn’t useful to this particular conversation, so I force myself back on track.
“So, what’s stopped you from pursuing something since coming here? Before…” I trail off, motioning between us.
“Maintaining anything long term is kinda hard when the other person only really wants me for the night, maybe two.” He’s still looking down, extremely focused on my comforter’s stitching when he continues.
“The thing I didn’t realize coming into college was that people only want something when they don’t think they can actually have it.
And as soon as they get it? It’s like there’s nothing else for them to chase.
The high of screwing the star goalie fades, and it’s on to the next thing.
The next person. To someone who is actually boyfriend material. ”
“But that can’t be true,” I attempt to reason, shaking my head. “Look at the girl with the video. If the whole reason she posted it was because she was jealous you hooked up with her brother—”
“Doesn’t mean she wanted to date me or be my girlfriend or whatever,” he cuts in dryly, finally lifting his focus to meet my gaze again. “I guess it kinda goes back to the whole thing I told you about me being called dumb or whatever, and believing it when it’s said enough.”
A sharp pain hits the back of my throat when I understand what he’s saying.
“Since no one chose to stick around past a night or two, you think—”
“All I’m good for is a dirty roll between the sheets?
” he finishes, a sad smile on his face. “I mean, there may have been a few people who could’ve wanted more than I was offering.
Like, statistically, or whatever. But the damage was already done, and all the evidence spoke for itself… until you came along.”
My heart crawls into my throat, making it nearly impossible to speak without croaking like I’ve swallowed a goddamn frog.
“Until me how?”
He sucks his lower lip, worrying it before he shrugs. “I guess because you’ve stuck around. And, yeah, I get that we have the deal and stuff—”
“It’s not because of the deal,” I whisper immediately, knowing damn well it’s the truth.
I’m still here because I want to be.
“I know, Lo,” he murmurs, nodding. “Which is why, the longer we’ve gone on with our arrangement and the more I get to know you, the more I really do look at you as my friend. The more I care about you. The more I…like you, you know?”
The confirmation of those simple words once again has my heart lodging itself in my windpipe, so I simply nod.
He smiles tentatively, more shy than I’ve ever seen him, before he continues.
“So, all that to say, I guess the reason I haven’t pushed for that kind of sex is because I don’t want to go there and risk this ending up the same way it always has in the past. You mean more.”
Goddamnit.
I stare at him, nearly at a loss for words after hearing everything he’s shared.
The sheer amount of pain and vulnerability in what he’s given me—cutting away the mask and exposing some of his deepest insecurities—it leaves me fucking breathless.
So I do the only thing I can think of: I straddle him where he sits and wrap my arms tightly around him.
His face buries into my neck as his arms wind around my waist, hugging me back silently. We stay like that, locked in each other’s embrace, for I don’t know how long before I finally pull back just enough to meet his gaze.
More emotions than I can name shine in his eyes as he looks up at me, and I snake my fingers into his sandy locks, only to whisper the most honest thing I’ve ever spoken.
“You’re not a night or two. Not to me.”
Something in his expression falters for the briefest second before he closes the distance between us, sealing his lips to mine in a toe-curling kiss. One speaking louder than words ever could.
It’s gratitude and fear and hope all rolled into one, and it steals the breath straight from my lungs.
My fingers tighten in his hair, holding him there while our mouths mold together. His tongue slides along the seam of my lips, and I open for him eagerly, already wanting more. Wanting every goddamn thing he’s willing to give.
Cam’s hands slide down, gripping my ass cheeks and kneading them in his massive palms while we continue fucking each other’s mouths with our tongues.
His cock has stirred to life beneath me, thickening into a deliciously hard ridge I can’t stop myself from grinding my ass against. The move has a soft moan coming from between our fused mouths before Cam pulls back, panting heavily after breaking the kiss.
His eyes are wild with desire, burning with heat, when he murmurs, “What do you want?”
“To start? Anything we talked about last week.”
“Are you prepped already?”
My lips roll inward, embarrassment reddening my cheeks as I nod. “Yeah, I, uh… I have a few times this week, actually. Just in case.”
Just like that, the heat in his attention is gone, replaced by guilt before he glances away briefly with a shake of his head.
“Fuck, I’m sorry, Lo. If I’d—”
My hand covers his mouth, cutting off the apology before it can fully leave him, and his brows crash together in obvious confusion. But I just arch one back at him.
“If you’re going to use your mouth right now, I’d rather it be for something other than apologizing.”
The lust comes barrelling back into his stare, and I can hear the amusement in his muffled voice when he utters “Yes, sir” from behind my palm.
Then, without warning, he flips us so I land flat on my back, my body bouncing on the mattress with the impact.
I laugh, the move reminding me of that morning in New York, after the first time we hooked up.
But all laughter dies on my lips when I see how quickly his demeanor has shifted from playful to predatory, only for him to hook his fingers in my sweats and drag them down with my boxers in a single, smooth motion.
My cock—already harder than fucking steel—pops free, slapping against my stomach, and when Cam licks his lips while staring at it, I swear to God, I nearly come on the spot.
And that’s before his eyes lock with mine and he leans down, taking just the crown between his lips and giving it a gentle suck.
He wastes no time giving me exactly what I want, bobbing up and down over my shaft like a seasoned pro. My hands fly to his hair to steady myself against his onslaught, already so keyed up by his enthusiasm, I might burst before we can even make it past third base.
“Goddamnit, Cam. Your mouth is like fucking heaven.”
He hums around my length, eyes shimmering with delight when he looks up at me. Desire lights me up from the inside out at his response, and paired with the warm heat of his mouth, it doesn’t take long before my hips start moving upward with smooth, shallow thrusts.
Of course, the second I start getting any sort of momentum, his hands grab my hips and stop me, creating a mounting sense of frustration alongside my desperate need for him. Especially when I feel his fingers gently pressing over my taint, rubbing there before skimming back to find my crease.
I moan at the first brush of his fingertips over my rim, a whisper of a touch, and the stimulation is too much, yet not nearly enough.
“You want me here, Lo?” he whispers after pulling off me.
I nod vehemently, my desperation clawing at me like a feral animal.
“Yes. God, yes, Please, don’t make me—”
I can’t even get the word out before his hands find my knees, pushing them up toward my chest. I’m completely exposed to him now, the move catching me off guard, only for him to surprise me further when his tongue swipes over my hole.
One, twice. A third time.
My teeth sink into my lip, biting back a moan while he laps at the sensitive bud, the sensation equally erotic and foreign, yet not at all unwelcome.
In fact, I want more. Fucking crave it. But I can’t stop the tortured groan that rips from my throat when he spears his tongue past the rim without warning, causing my hips to buck off the bed and my hands to slice into his hair.
“Fuck, baby,” I pant.
I don’t know if I want to squirm away or push back, allowing him to slide in deeper. Not that I have much say in the matter, because one of Cam’s hands anchors on my hip, holding me firmly in place while he continues tormenting me with his wicked prodding.
His other palm slides up around my thigh, finding my cock and giving it a few slow tugs. The doubled stimulation has me groaning more, my breath coming out in harsh, ragged pants as I arch into his touch. Seeking more pleasure, needing more friction.
“Shit, shit, shit,” I chant as his hand picks up speed.
My need has quickly become too great to withstand much longer, and I know I’m only a few jacks and licks away from exploding. Every molecule in my body is focused on one thing: release. And it’s right there, just out of reach.
Just a few more—
“Ah, baby. I’m gonna come.”
He squeezes my hip in response, only to pull back just as my orgasm was about to crest and crash down around me. A low groan slips out, and I open my eyes to glare daggers at him. Because while I don’t hate him, at this exact moment, I’m really goddamn close to it.
“Why the f—”
“You’re not coming until I can feel you clamping around my cock,” he whispers, only to press a soft kiss to my lips. “Now, grab the lube.”