Chapter Thirteen Evening Swim
Haven
T he next few days are a whirlwind. After accepting Christian’s proposal, he doesn’t waste any time and tries to convince me to move in with him and Oliver out at their acreage. I resist and compromise by promising to spend time out there to at least make it appear as though we’re a couple, and then once I’m not feeling so overwhelmed, I’ll start planning to move. After all, that will have to happen, but I really need things to slow down just a bit so I can catch my breath.
Christian and I also need to figure out how we’re going to tell people about our engagement, and that prospect causes me the most stress. I want to go about it carefully. My mom is in a delicate state, after all, and I don’t want to shock her too badly.
But I guess in the end we’re going to have to tell her.
Pulling up to the front of his house, I take a deep breath, trying to steady myself for the evening. He’d suggested that I come over just to hangout. His reasoning that spending time together will make things easier and while I can see the logic in his reasoning, it still seems a bit much.
Like everything is moving very fast. Faster than I guess I expect it to.
Stepping out of the car, I make for the door. Only to see him open it dressed head to toe in a navy blue suit and white shirt, completely catching me off guard.
“Um… what’s going on?”
He gives me an apologetic smile, followed by a soft sigh. “I’m sorry. I meant to call you and completely got sidetracked. Something came up, and I need to go into the office at the local site for something.”
“Oh,” I reply, feeling slightly awkward. “Well, I can head home…”
I wish you would have freaking called me.
“No, no, you stay,” he says firmly. “I want you to start getting used to this place, so you hang out and relax and I’ll be back soon.”
Get used to the place. The idea that he wants me to hangout around his place without him seems a little out there. Though it shouldn’t considering we’re supposed to be engaged.
“Um, okay. What about Oliver?”
“His new nanny is watching him,” Christian explains as he grabs his keys off a small table by the front door. “They’ll likely stay upstairs until Oliver’s bedtime, so you’ll have the run of the place. Feel free to go up and say hi if you want.”
“I really don’t think…”
“It’ll be all right,” he assures me as he hurries past me to leave the house. “I promise, I’ll just be an hour. Maybe two. We’ll talk about the wedding and stuff once I’m home. See you later.”
“Christian, wait!” He’s out the door and gone before I can finish calling him back.
What in the absolute fuck ?
I slowly turn and look around the large entryway, totally at a loss for what to do. This isn’t exactly how I planned for my evening to go, but I guess there’s no point in leaving now. Slipping my bag off my shoulder, I set it on the floor. I’d brought a change of clothes and my swimsuit after Christian had insisted, though I don’t know why we would go swimming when we have so much we need to discuss.
Swallowing, I slowly make my way further into the house. I can hear small noises coming from upstairs, which I assume are Oliver and his nanny. Every part of me is screaming to just stay downstairs, but another part of me wants to make sure Oliver is okay.
Paranoia be damned… might as well go see what he’s doing.
Making my way upstairs towards Oliver's room, I stop in the doorway and smile at the sight of the little boy chatting animatedly with an older woman, who’s trying to get him into his pajamas. When Oliver notices me, his eyes go wide and a squeal of delight escapes him.
“Miss Haven!”
“Hi, Oliver,” I say, squatting when he rushes toward me for a hug. “How are you, little man?”
“Good!” He leans back from the hug and stares up at me. “It’s almost bedtime.”
I nod, a smile falling across my lips. “Yes, it is. I just wanted to say hi before you went to sleep.” Standing back up, I smile at the nanny, who’s standing in the middle of the room, watching me curiously. “Hello, I’m Haven. I’m Oliver’s daycare teacher, and… Christian’s fiance.”
Her expression instantly shifts from confusion to realization. “Oh, of course! Mr. Tallow said you would be stopping by. I’m Edna. Pleased to meet you.”
I spend a few more minutes with Oliver and Edna before retreating from his room, and back downstairs so that he can calm down before he goes to sleep. Reaching the kitchen, I stop next to the wide island and drum my fingers on its surface.
What the hell am I doing?
I should just go home, but I don’t want to upset Christian. Still, this is too weird. This is going to be my home soon, but I feel so small and out of place in it. Did I make a huge mistake saying yes to Christian’s proposal? I mean, what am I really going to tell Mom? And my brother for that matter! There’s no way they’ll believe I’m actually in love with Christian if I can’t even be comfortable in his house…
Realizing I’m panicking, I dig my phone out of my pocket and quickly dial Marie’s number. I need to talk to someone… I need help rationalizing all this so that I can step back from the metaphorical ledge…
“Hey, girl,” Marie says when she answers after two rings. “What are you doing?”
“You mean besides standing in a practical mansion?—”
“Wait! You’re at his house!” she exclaims. “Why are you calling me then? Shouldn’t you be living it up? That guy’s loaded.”
“Marie…” I groan, shaking my head as I let out a heavy breath. “I think I’m overwhelmed. I’m at Christian’s house, and I’m alone because he went to the office and I’m freaking out…”
“Wait there,” she orders in a firm tone. “I’ll be over in a minute. Ask your new fiancé if he’ll let us use his pool.”
Wait, what?
“You can’t just come over to his house, Marie.”
A scoff echoes through the line, and I can practically see her rolling her eyes. “Why not? It’s basically your house as well.”
“Not technically…”
“Yes… it technically is,” she adds, not taking no for an answer. “I think your fiancé would be more upset that you didn’t ask someone you really care about who’s always been there for you to not come over when you’re nervous because you think he wants you to be alone.”
You make no sense at all.
There’s no point in arguing with her. When Marie sets her mind to something, she does it. She always feels the need to help people in any way she can, and I love her for it. But I just wish people didn’t take her for granted like they always seem to do.
“Okay, fine. If you really want to.”
“Be there in ten,” she declares before hanging up.
Blinking, I stare down at my phone for several moments before I text Christian.
Me: Can Marie come over and can we use your pool?
He answers within a few minutes.
Chris: It's your pool too now. It will be your house soon. Invite over whoever you want.
A sigh of relief escapes me at his approval as I go to put on my swimsuit. It was a good thing Christian insisted I bring it after all. Maybe a little swim will do me good.
Exactly ten minutes later, the doorbell rings. I hurry to answer it and Marie greets me with a wide smile, wearing a green bikini top and jean shorts.
“I’m here!” she exclaims, rushing inside when I give her room.
“Shhh…” I quickly say, glancing towards the stairs. “The nanny is trying to get Oliver down.”
Her eyes go wide as she quickly tiptoes in as if Oliver is going to hear her walking. “Oh, sorry. I forgot he has a kid.”
She drops her stuff and looks around, whistling below her breath. “Damn… I knew this place was big, but it’s like a mansion in here.”
“Yeah, it’s big. Come on. Let’s go outside. I need to swim off my anxious energy.”
She chuckles at my response, and gestures with her hand towards the rest of the house. “Lead the way.”
We make our way out to the sprawling backyard and the pool, which is bordered by smooth, pale stone tiles, still warm from the day’s sun, and a few strategically placed loungers with plush cushions. A waterfall cascades gently into one end. The sound of the water is soothing, almost hypnotic in a way that reminds me of a fancy resort.
I take a deep breath, trying to let the peaceful atmosphere calm my nerves. The ring on my finger feels heavier than it should, and I keep catching myself glancing at it, as if to reassure myself that it’s really there, that I really agreed to this.
Slowly, I take it off and set it next to a lounger, terrified of losing it in the water. That’s the last thing I need to do. It wouldn’t exactly be something easy that I could explain to Christian either. I’m not sure how much he spent on it, but it looks like it cost a fortune.
Marie catches my eye and gives me a small, reassuring smile.
“This is incredible,” she says. “I can’t believe you get to come here whenever you want.”
“Yeah,” I murmur, my gaze still fixed on the water. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”
Even as I say it, there’s a tightness in my chest that the beauty of this place can’t quite ease. I feel like I’m standing on the edge of something much bigger than myself, and I’m not sure if I’m ready to dive in. We walk over to the edge of the pool, and I dip my toes in, letting the cool water ripple around my feet. Glancing over at Marie, I can’t help but laugh, watching as she kicks off her sandals and shorts sliding into the water with a contented sigh.
“Come on,” she urges, splashing at me playfully. “The water’s perfect. You need this.”
She isn’t wrong. I do need this.
I nod, knowing she’s right. I need something to take my mind off everything, if only for a little while. So I slip into the pool beside her. The water envelops me, cool and calming, and I just let myself float, my worries feeling a little lighter in the weightlessness of the water.
“Okay, spill,” Marie says in a firmer tone, a look of seriousness on her face that causes me to frown. “I can see you’re still on edge about something. What’s going on?”
“It’s just… the engagement. I mean, I agreed to it because it’s the practical thing to do, but I haven’t told my family yet. I don’t even know how to begin.”
Marie nods, a sense of understanding lurking within her gaze. “Yeah, that’s a big one. Your mom will be happy, of course, but what about Garrett and your stepdad?”
“That’s what I’m worried about,” I admit, running a hand through the water, watching the ripples spread out and fade. “They’re going to have questions—lots of them. And I don’t know how to explain this to them without… I don’t know, without making it sound like it’s just some sort of arrangement.”
Marie floats beside me, her voice soft and supportive. “You don’t have to explain everything, Haven. Just tell them what’s important—that you’re getting married, and that it’s what you want. The details don’t have to be everyone’s business.”
“Garrett is going to know, Marie. Christian is his best friend, and he hasn’t exactly been in town very long. There’s no way that someone like Christian would run into something so quickly with a woman he barely knows when he has so much going on with this custody issue with his kid. I mean, we could try to say it was a secret relationship to the rest of the world. But do you think that’s really going to work with them? My brother’s a lot of things, but stupid isn’t one of them.”
She’s quiet for a moment as she seems to contemplate everything I’ve told her.
“You’re not wrong… there’s no way your brother is going to believe this.”
“Exactly,” I groan in response. “I’m royally screwed.”
“Not exactly.”
I glance at her, a brow raised in confusion as I try to understand her reasoning. “What do you mean, not exactly?”
She shrugs, a small smile falling across her lips. “You could always say that you met him when you went to the city last year. That you didn’t know that was the guy that your brother was friends with until you met him again after all this time and his son just so happened to go to your daycare center.”
It isn’t the worst idea I’ve heard. And I mean, I did go to the city for three days last year with Marie for some librarian thing. And maybe I can play it off like we hooked up then and lost touch… but is anyone going to believe any of that?
“But what if they don’t believe me? What if they see right through it?” I can’t help but voice the fear that’s been gnawing at me since I made the decision. “I don’t want them to think I’m making a mistake, or that I’m not thinking this through. This isn’t exactly what my mom wants, you know, so I don’t want her to find out I’m just doing this for her. That’ll just make her feel guilty.”
Marie gives me a gentle nudge. “I get that, and I understand wanting to convince your mom that there’s a real kind of love between you and Christian. As for your brother and stepdad, they care about you—they’re going to support you, even if they don’t understand everything right away.”
I nod, trying to let her words sink in, but it’s hard. The truth is I’m not sure if I fully understand everything myself. This engagement—this whole situation—is more complicated than anything I’ve ever dealt with, but as I float in the pool, the sky darkening overhead, I realize that I can’t keep second-guessing myself. I made a decision, and now I have to live with it.
Marie splashes me again, pulling me out of my thoughts. “You’re overthinking this, as usual. Just take it one step at a time, okay? You’ll figure it out.”
“What if I meet my true love?” I ask. “But I’m already married to Christian?”
“That’s never been a major concern for you before,” she points out.
I bite my lip. It’s never been a concern for me before, sure. But now with me facing a chance that it could be, I can’t help but wonder. “I know… but not wanting is much different than not having.”
“True love is overrated,” she says teasingly as she shrugs her shoulders. “Besides, you’re going to be a gazillionaire’s wife.”
“Billionaire,” I correct her. Not that the amount of money he makes is important.
“Same difference,” she huffs out. “I’m a little jealous, to tell you the truth. You get to marry a hot billionaire and your brother won’t even go out with me.”
I can’t help but chuckle at that. Marie’s been crushing on Garrett for awhile now, and she’s not all that subtle about it when he’s around. He hasn’t done much to reciprocate her attention, though I’m pretty sure he thinks she’s cute.
“Well,” I say, smiling slyly. “You will be my maid of honor. And he’ll be the best man.”
“So we’ll have to interact,” she says excitedly. “Sounds like a challenge.”
“Exactly. One that I’m sure you willingly accept.”
She turns to me with a sly smile, shrugging her shoulder. “You’re damn right. Was this your master plan all along?”
“Yes,” I reply flatly. “My master plan was to marry a man in name only, a man I don’t really know, just to get my brother to date you.”
“I know you're kidding, but it’s really a benefit for me,” she adds with soft laughter. “Not just Garrett, but look at this pool.”
“You can reap all the benefits with me.” I pause. “Except for my marital duties.”
We both go totally still at that. I can’t believe I just said that. Marital duties? Sex hadn’t even crossed my mind when I’d said yes to Christian. I mean… it’s definitely crossed my mind regarding him, but I never really thought about the possibility of sleeping with him as part of this whole arrangement.
“Is he expecting marital duties?” Marie asks, voicing the question knocking around in my own head now.
“No… he assured me that wasn’t an expectation of this arrangement.”
“He’s kind of into you, though, Haven.”
Images of that night in his home flash through my mind. The taste of his kiss upon my lips, the feeling of his hands sliding across my body. I haven’t really stopped thinking about it since it happened. And though every part of me wants to desperately visit that situation again, it leaves me conflicted.
How can a man like Christian make me feel the way he did?
Pushing the thoughts from my mind, I shake my head. “It doesn’t matter. This is just a business arrangement, and that’s probably how it should stay. It’s only for a year and then we go our separate ways. The last thing I want to do is let myself feel something, only to get heartbroken. I don’t have time for that sort of thing right now.”
“Haven… I know everything is hard for you right now with your mom. But you don’t have to give up your life,” she says softly, catching me off guard. I know deep down she’s right, but hearing her say it is something else.
“I know, Marie. I’m not trying to.”
She nods, as she lays back to float upon the water. “Just think it over. Don’t automatically dismiss the possibility that this could become more.”
Laying on my back to float, I stare up at the night sky. Even if I wanted to completely dismiss it, I wouldn’t be able to. Silence falls between us as we both enjoy the serene feeling of the water and the cool evening. My mind drifts over the many possibilities of what the arrangement with Christian is going to bring.
The sound of crunching gravel on the driveway forces me to perk up gazing towards the direction of the front of the house. He’s home. Marie notices too, glancing over at the driveway before turning back to me with a knowing smile.
“Well, that’s my cue,” she says, swimming over to the edge of the pool and climbing out gracefully. She grabs her towel and starts drying off, her eyes twinkling with mischief. “I’ll leave you two alone.”
“You don’t have to leave just because he’s back,” I call out, though I know she’s probably right to go. There’s so much I haven’t figured out yet, and now that Christian is here, the reality of everything feels even more intense.
Marie just waves off my concern with a casual smile. “Don’t worry about it. I’ve got an early morning tomorrow, anyway. Besides, you two probably need to talk.”
We probably need to do a lot of things, doesn’t mean it’s gonna get done tonight.
“Marie…” I grumble. She gives me a final reassuring smile before heading inside to grab her things.
As she disappears into the house, I’m left alone in the pool, the water suddenly feeling a little cooler without her there. I look into the house through the large back windows and see Christian walk inside, his expression unreadable. My heart races, the weight of everything we’ve agreed to settling heavily on my shoulders.
What the hell have I gotten myself into?