Chapter 23
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
ASHER
“Appreciate you helpin’ me, sugar,” Gran said from her perch in the grass in the Havens’ backyard. “I might feel like a spring chicken, but I haven’t been one in a while.”
Nat, the kids, and I had come over earlier in the day after Nat’s momma had called, inviting us over for the afternoon. Owen was currently napping, Caroline on monitor duty, and Nat sat several yards away, her and June’s laughter floating to me as they dug in the dirt.
I dropped two bags of soil on the ground near where Gran sat on a garden cart. “Well, I’m happy to let you use me for my muscles anytime, Gran.”
“I’m glad you said that. Why don’t you get on down here and help me dig some holes for these flowers?” She gestured to the patio, where at least six flats of flowers sat. “I’ll be out here all night if I do this by myself.”
“That’s a lot of flowers. Doesn’t your son employ a gardener?”
“Pfft.” Gran swatted the air as if batting away my suggestion. “You know I’m not about all that nonsense. If I can do the job myself, I intend to do so. And if I can’t, I intend to sucker someone else into helpin’ me.”
I laughed, my attention snagged by a shout of excitement from June. She was beaming, jumping and running circles around Nat, whose head was back, her face tipped toward the sky and a brilliant smile on her lips.
“Something besides me and all these flowers got your attention?” Gran asked.
I blinked, shaking my head as I met her gaze. “What? Never. I’m totally focused on you.”
“I might not be able to haul eighty pounds of dirt over my shoulder like you, young man, but my eyes haven’t gone bad just yet. Pretty easy to see your bride’s snagged your attention.” Gran glanced over to where June and Nat were rolling down the hill near a large oak tree, their gardening supplies long forgotten as their laughter rang across the yard. “And I can see why. She’s really something special when she’s with those kids, isn’t she?”
I couldn’t deny the truth of that. I’d spent our entire friendship knowing she was caring and compassionate, loyal and protective. But seeing it come out of her and be showered on my niece and nephew—my only remaining family—was something I hadn’t been expecting.
“Yeah, she is.”
“You really are a love-sick fool for her.” Gran shook her head and smiled at me fondly.
I bit my tongue, hating that we had to lie to her. That she thought this was something more than it was—just one friend helping out another. Never mind that the help had seeped into other areas, blurring all boundaries. Never mind that I wasn’t so sure I minded all that much.
“So, what’s in the future for y’all?” Gran asked.
I shook my head and punctured the ground with the garden spade. “We’re just holdin’ on till this guardianship comes through. Hopefully.”
“Not a doubt in my mind, sugar,” she said. “And what comes after that’s taken care of?”
Well, what came after that was Nat leaving Havenbrook—as well as me and the kids—behind. As soon as the final decision came through, she’d be on the next plane out of Memphis. I couldn’t say that, though. Couldn’t even tell Gran that the thought had my stomach all tied up in knots. Had been keeping me up every night since our wedding.
“To be perfectly honest, I’m not sure.”
Gran hummed. “Nat told me you had a meetin’ set up with a label…”
One that had been scheduled for the day after my sister had passed away. It’d been weeks since Aubrey’s and Nathan’s deaths, and though the pain of that loss still weighed on me, it had eased just a bit.
Now, instead of a fist squeezing my heart at the mere mention of her name, I only felt a lingering sadness knowing she was gone. Knowing I’d never talk to or see her again. Knowing the only thing I had left of her were these kids Nat and I were fighting so hard for.
I cleared my throat, my gaze focused on the ground as I dug another hole. “I obviously canceled that.”
Gran reached out and squeezed my hand. “Of course, sugar. No one would’ve expected otherwise. You got another one lined up yet?”
“No.” I blew out a heavy breath, the call earlier from my manager sitting at the forefront of my mind.
Carla was understanding of my situation and was giving me time to figure out what I wanted. But that was the problem, wasn’t it? I didn’t know what that was.
“I had a call this mornin’ with my manager, and she’s wantin’ to know what I wanna do. What direction I wanna take.”
“And what direction is that?”
I shook my head, squinting in the sun as I glanced at her. “I have absolutely no idea.”
“Well, you’ve been through a lot of changes these past few weeks. A lot more still to come.”
“That’s true, but it doesn’t change the fact that I’m gonna have to figure something out. There’s a publishing house that wants to discuss bringin’ me into their stable of songwriters, but Carla didn’t wanna pursue it if I was still gonna try for something with the label. But then I wonder if either job is good enough. They’re both crazy.”
“Crazy how?”
“Unpredictable. Havin’ a steady income is something Judge Seville is gonna take into account for his decision. I’ve got some money stashed away in savings but not enough to last more than a couple months. I need a job, which means I need to figure out what I wanna do, and fast.”
Gran hummed. “That’s a question for the times, isn’t it? What about Nat?”
“I don’t think she’s gonna swap out photography for singin’ with me,” I said on a laugh.
“No, I don’t suppose she would. What’s she plannin’ to do with her career? Havenbrook’s not exactly teeming with the kinds of jobs she’d take.”
“Not exactly,” I agreed.
And that was the sticking point, wasn’t it? I had asked her to stay, to play her part in this lie, but when I’d asked her to do that, I hadn’t expected things to change so drastically between us. Mixing in sex had played a part in that, of course, but it was more.
I’d never realized just how easy it could be between us. We had the best of both worlds—the kind of friendship both of us had always been able to count on, paired with the kind of raw sexual chemistry books were written about. And I wasn’t so sure I wanted to give that up.
I’d had a brief flicker of hesitation the night when Nat and I had first slept together, not wanting to jeopardize what we had. That’d been why I’d forgotten all about my crush on her when we’d been teens, because I’d seen firsthand how things had shaken out between her and Nash after one kiss.
Nat and I had done a hell of a lot more than kiss.
But I should have known better than to worry about that with us. While some friends couldn’t cross the line of romantic involvement, we’d once again slayed all preconceived notions and plowed ahead without a backward glance. Things between us hadn’t been awkward in the least. Hot as hell? Without a doubt. Uncomfortable? Not even a little.
We fit. Seamlessly. Effortlessly. I’d never had a laugh swallowed up by a moan during sex. Had never wanted to cuddle the hell out of someone as much as I wanted to fuck them. With Nat, I wanted both in equal measure.
“You know,” Gran said, “Nat used to come out here with me all the time when she was a little girl. I got some free labor out of her, and she got to avoid her overbearin’ daddy.”
I snorted. “Avoidin’ things is probably her favorite hobby.”
“Without a doubt. We had a whole lot of conversations back here. I remember one time—she was maybe eleven or twelve—she asked me if I liked livin’ in Havenbrook because she didn’t much.”
“What’d you tell her?”
“Told her I’d made my choice to stay, marry her granddad, and have her daddy. Set down some roots. And that as much as I sometimes wished I’d traveled the world, life wasn’t for regrets. It’s for livin’.”
“I think she’s got that part figured out.”
Gran hummed and regarded me, her gaze connecting with mine under the brim of her sun hat. “She sure does. Pretty sure she took my words that day and made them her mantra in life, ’cause I also told her it was in her bones to fly, and that girl’s spent the past eight years doin’ nothing but flyin’.”
Spent eight years flying and ten prior to that talking about it. I glanced over to where she and June played, and though she looked happy—though she’d been happy these past few weeks with me—I knew it wouldn’t last. It couldn’t. Not when she’d been trying her whole life to get out of this town.
And if things went the way I was praying they would with the kids, I’d be coming back to Havenbrook permanently.
“Would you mind grabbin’ me one of the flats, sugar?” Gran asked.
“No problem,” I said, pushing up to stand.
“Just set ’em right here, please.” She pointed to the spot next to her, and I obliged. “Fortunately for y’all, it doesn’t have to be all or nothing. Havin’ a home base here isn’t any different from her havin’ one in Portland. Speakin’ of…when are y’all gonna get her belongings out here?” Gran asked, a note of something heavy in her tone that I couldn’t quite decipher.
Shit. We hadn’t discussed that. Hadn’t come up with a plan for when someone asked. Hadn’t even anticipated anyone asking, though we should have. Gran read too many damn mystery novels for her own good and loved sleuthing out a story.
“Look who I found,” Caroline interrupted as she stepped out onto the patio with Owen in her arms, Richard trailing behind them. “He’s still a little grumpy.”
“You talkin’ about that sweet sugar bug in your arms or my son?” Gran asked as she scooted on her garden cart to the next hole, dragging the flat of flowers along with her.
Caroline laughed and strolled toward us, taking a seat at the table under the umbrella. “Now, don’t be mean to him. He’s grillin’ our steaks tonight.”
“Speakin’ of, y’all gonna stick around for dinner?” Gran asked.
“Why not. They’ve already been here all day,” Richard said, taking a seat next to Caroline. “Don’t y’all have jobs?”
“Richard,” Caroline admonished. “We’re not gonna say a single word when our daughter and son-in-law—” she glanced at me with a smile “—wanna bring these sweet babies over to visit us.”
“Actually, Daddy,” Nat said as she stepped up next to me, “our jobs may not be as glamorous as solitaire player, but they don’t have any rigidity at all. All I need is my camera and something pretty, and Asher can write songs from anywhere.”
“How’re things goin’ for you, sweetheart?” Caroline asked. “You been busy?”
“A little too busy, actually. Things are on hold right now, but I’ll get back to it soon.” She met my gaze, something weighty and unspoken hanging between us. While it no doubt sounded like she’d get back to it after everything with the kids was straightened out, we both knew she meant something else entirely.
Meant she was intending to leave.
“Well, I’m glad you’re stayin’ busy,” her momma said, “but I don’t love that every time you go, it’s out of the country.”
“Actually,” Nat said, giving June a thumbs-up as she called for Nat to watch her on the swings, “there’s a project I’ve been brainstormin’. Something that’d keep me stateside for a while.”
“Really?” I asked, glancing down at her with furrowed brows.
“Yeah, remember? That thing we talked about?” She linked our fingers and squeezed twice. Right. Because future professional plans were probably something most married couples discussed. “Travelin’ down Route 66—or what’s left of it, anyway—and makin’ my own coffee table book?”
“Don’t you think it’s time y’all were a bit more practical?” Richard asked. “Now that you’ve got a family to take care of, y’all both need steady work instead of the hobbies you’ve been focused on. I’m sure Will or Mac would be happy to line you up with a job down at town hall, Nat.”
She huffed out a disbelieving laugh. “What part of my personality makes you think I’d be happy workin’ at town hall? And those hobbies are doin’ just fine for us.”
“Richard, we’re not gonna rehash this same argument every time your daughter comes home,” Caroline said as she fed Owen his bottle.
Richard held up his hands in surrender. “I’m not rehashin’ anything. Just didn’t see them doin’ those jobs now, is all.”
“Well, Daddy, we’re a little busy tryin’ to keep things as normal as possible for June, while fielding social worker appointments and waitin’ to make sure another rich family doesn’t get their way simply because they have money. You might know a little something about that, though. Been makin’ sure you got your way for years. Unfortunately, we can’t buy our way out of this one.”
She’d gone rigid beside me, her anger over her daddy using his power to get out of situations nothing new. It’d weighed on her back when the three of us would get into trouble together but only Nash and I ever got stuck with any charges. Apparently, Havens didn’t do the whole court thing.
I put my arm around her and tucked her into my side, pressing a kiss to her temple. “You’re lettin’ him bait you,” I said in her ear. “And you’re gonna let him undo all that hard work I did this mornin’ makin’ sure you started the day relaxed.”
She slid me a look out of the corner of her eye, her lips tipped up in a way that told me she was recalling exactly how we’d spent our morning—namely my fingers getting her off while my cock ached for her pussy. Hadn’t been time, though. Not when June was an early riser and didn’t have qualms about waking us at the ass-crack of dawn.
“Well, we won’t need to worry about that,” Caroline said, pulling me out of my thoughts. “I have no doubt y’all’re the best fit for these kids. You’re who Aubrey and Nathan wanted, and Judge Seville will see that.”
Yeah, I’d thought so, too. Or hoped, anyway. But the more days that went by, the more unsure I became.
I’d bet everything I had on this working out. Had poured myself into it, had begun to settle in and get comfortable in this life I wasn’t sure I’d ever wanted.
One good thing was, that wasn’t a question anymore. I’d grown to love this life in the few short weeks I’d been living it. Which meant it was only going to hurt that much worse if it was all taken away.