6. Evan
EVAN
“Oh my god that was the longest four hours of my life.” Nick slumped in his seat as Vlado drove us away from the hotel the party had been held at. “Please tell me that was a fluke and these things aren’t that boring?”
“I wish I could. But most of the events I attend are as dry and tedious as that was.”
“Ugh.” He sighed theatrically. “Why are businesspeople always so boring? All they talked about was money. How much they have, how much they want to make. What they’ve bought and how much they spent.
I swear to Christ I almost stomped on that old dude’s foot when he was going on about how he bought his new place because it has parallel hallways in it for the staff because seeing his staff moving about the house makes him uncomfortable.
Or that other old guy who kept talking about how many subsidies he gets, but then turns around and says he deserves more.
He’s making millions a year. Why is he getting financial help when regular people are having to choose between rent and food? ”
“Because he can.”
“Who was that chick in the red dress? The blonde who was hanging off that dude who looks like the Cryptkeeper?”
“That’s Cecelia. She’s Bryant’s wife.”
“Ew.”
“It’s quite the scandalous story. She was his ex-wife’s assistant up until a year ago.”
“Really?” He brightened up. “Finally some juicy gossip. Tell me everything .”
I chuckled at his sudden enthusiasm. “She worked for Maryse, his fifth wife. He seems to have an age limit, and when his current wife is close to thirty, he divorces her, pays her off, and marries her replacement. Cecelia is a few years older than you. They were married only days after his divorce to Maryse was finalized.”
“Bet his other wives were counting on him kicking the bucket so they could get their bag,” he said thoughtfully.
“That’s the consensus.”
“Do you think they have to fuck him?” He scrunched up his nose adorably. “Can you imagine what eighty-year-old balls look like? Bet they’re like prunes stuffed into stretched-out stockings.”
Vlado made a strangled sound from the driver’s seat. “Did you really have to put that image in my head?”
“Sorry not sorry. If I have to picture it, you do too.” Nick grinned sweetly at Vlado in the rearview mirror.
“I’m never going to be able to look at Bryant the same way,” I drawled.
“Also not sorry.” Nick brushed his hair back from where it had fallen over his eye. “How did we do? Think people were fooled?” he asked me.
I bit back a smile.
I hadn’t told anyone I was bringing a plus-one, and the expressions on their faces when I introduced Nick as my boyfriend were priceless.
No doubt word about us was spreading, and unsurprisingly, I’d been flooded with invitations for the next few weeks that were specifically extended to me and him .
Nick played his part beautifully. He’d charmed everyone he was introduced to and had spent the evening gazing at me adoringly while constantly touching me in a way that was both casual and possessive.
He’d told our fake meet-cute over and over again, gushing about how magical the experience was and how happy we were. He’d been so convincing I would have believed him if I hadn’t been part of the ruse.
“You’re quite the actor.”
He grinned. “Theater nerd for the win! And who says the arts can’t help you later in life? My drama classes are about to make me more than algebra or the Pythagorean theorem ever did.”
“Isn’t the Pythagorean theorem geometry?” Vlado asked.
“No clue,” Nick answered.
“Yes,” I said at the same time.
“Of course you’d know that.” He eyed me. “I bet you were a math nerd.”
“Guilty.”
“He used to do my math homework for me in school,” Vlado said.
“Is that how you two became besties?” Nick asked excitedly. “You were his bully, but then you realized he’s just a stuffy old man trapped in a hot guy’s body, so you decided to befriend him and help him see the power of friendship?”
“What?” I choked out a laugh. “Old man trapped in a hot guy’s body?”
“You totally are.” Nick patted my thigh.
“He’s not wrong.” Vlado chuckled.
“Oh my god, I was right?” Clapping his hands, Nick bounced in his seat. “You two are a real-life E2L story?”
“E2L?” I asked.
“Enemies-to-lovers.” Nick waved his hand in a ‘hush now’ motion. “Did you two have a torrid love affair and now you’re BFFs?”
“What? No!”
“Methinks the dude is protesting too much.” Nick threw me a smirk. “Are you secretly harboring feelings for each other? Am I about to play matchmaker?” His blue eyes widened. “Dibs on being the best man at your wedding.”
“Slow down there, matchmaker,” Vlado said, his voice heavy with amusement. “Not everything is a ‘how I met your father’ scenario.”
“It should be. We need more epic romance in the world. Everything is all hookup apps and situationships. Where’s the magic?
What happened to the fairytale experience the movies of my youth promised me?
” He glanced between me and the back of Vlado’s head.
“You two would look hot together. Can I watch?”
“What?” Vlado and I spluttered.
“What?” He blinked innocently.
“Before this gets any weirder”—Vlado’s shoulders shook with the effort to not laugh—“let me explain.”
“Am I going to be disappointed?” Nick asked.
“Yes.”
He exhaled grievously. “Fine. Go ahead and burst my bubble.”
“Evan and I met when we were babies. My mom was his and Emily’s nanny.”
“Oh. That’s way cuter than my bully scenario.”
“Maybe, but that’s where the cuteness ends,” Vlado said. “The three of us grew up together, and Ev’s been my best friend for as long as I can remember. But there’s never been anything between us. I’m straight, and I think of him like a brother. Same as he thinks of me.”
“Boo.” Nick undid his suit jacket and tugged on his tie.
“What are you doing?” I asked, my head still spinning from the strange turn the conversation had taken.
“Getting comfy.” He pulled off his tie and stuffed it in his pocket. “This suit slaps, but I’m not used to wearing so many clothes when I’m working.”
Vlado snickered.
“So, why did Evan do your math homework if you’re BFFs?”
The car went silent as I, and presumably, Vlado, circled back to what we’d been talking about before Nick’s tangent.
“Oh, right.” Vlado cleared his throat. “Ev was such a math nerd he wanted to do it. Said it was fun for him.”
“Math is fun?” Nick gave me a look like I suddenly couldn’t be trusted. “You’re like Kai. Super hot and broody, but secretly a nerd who nerds.”
“Kai?” I asked. A flare of something moved through my stomach. Was that jealousy?
“My friend. He works at the club with me. Remember the hottie with the tats? The one who did that insane chair routine?”
“Mmhm.”
“That’s Kai. He’s going to grad school in a few months. He’s gonna be a doctor.”
“Really?” I asked, unable to hide my surprise. “What kind of doctor?”
“A psychologist.”
“You mean he’s getting his PhD?” I asked before I could stop myself.
He shot me a glare. “A PhD is a doctorate, which would make him a doctor. What? You don’t think strippers can be smart? Knox’s girlfriend is a stripper and she’s almost done med school. Is that enough of a doctor for you?”
“I wasn’t implying anything,” I said quickly.
“You might want to look down and check to see if your pants are on fire.”
I screwed up my face.
“Because you’re a liar liar.” He smiled sweetly.
Vlado covered his laugh with a cough.
Nick undid the top button of his shirt.
“I’m very confused,” I admitted. “This conversation has taken so many twists and turns I have no idea what we were talking about.”
“My bad.” Nick shrugged. “I had to keep all that inside while we were talking to those beige people. That’s like, four hours of behaving like an adult. I asked if we fooled everyone.”
“Right. Yes. I believe we did.”
“Phew.” He rubbed his cheeks. “I kept zoning out and daydreaming while you guys blathered on about money shit. Like, interest rates. Whoever named those was dead wrong. There’s nothing interest ing about them. I was worried people noticed I was in la-la land.”
“Is that when you kept grabbing his ass?” Vlado said, his voice light with amusement. “You seemed a little dreamy while groping him.”
Nick had indeed spent a good deal of time with his hand on my backside. The touch had been far more intimate than I normally would have shown in public, but the scandalous reactions of the other attendees had been worth it.
“Not my fault you’ve got a muffin butt. It’s squeezable, so I squeezed it.” He shrugged.
I smirked. “Did I complain?”
“Nope. Which is why I kept doing it. Your butt was basically my fidget spinner tonight.” He bit the side of his lip with a grin. “Do any of these events have dancing or food that isn’t bite-sized? Something, anything, other than just walking around and talking to boring people about boring shit?”
“Rarely. But my sister’s wedding should at least be more entertaining.”
“Hold up. Your sister’s wedding?”
“Yes. Emily’s getting married at the end of August. That’s why she had her bachelorette party last week.”
“I wanted to ask about that. Why our club?”
“What do you mean?”
“Why our tiny little club in the middle of buttfuck nowhere? You’re both based out of Seattle, right?”
I nodded. “I also have offices in New York and LA but spend most of my time at my home base.”
“So why Crimson? There’s gotta be a bunch of high-end clubs in Seattle. Why would she pick our club, especially because it looks like my grandma’s basement.”
“Your grandma’s basement has a stage and poles in it?”
He rolled his eyes. I noticed he did that often, but rather than annoy me, I found it oddly cute. “Don’t be a dumbass. I meant the décor. It’s straight out of the nineteen hundreds.”
“Those reasons are exactly why she chose your club.”
“I don’t get it.”
“She wanted the anonymity of being somewhere away from home so she and her friends wouldn’t have to worry about being recognized. And she thought it would be fun to pick somewhere that wasn’t the usual type of place she goes to.”