7. Nick #2
“You know, the pizza-guy one. Do you think that’s ever actually happened IRL?
Like someone is all ‘I don’t have the cash to pay for this pizza’”—I pitched my voice to imitate an over-the-top porn actor—“and the guy is all ‘I know a way you can pay for it’”—this time I lowered my voice and tried to add a little growl to it—“and they fuck?”
“I…I never thought of it. I mean, maybe?” He snickered. “I’d probably fuck someone for a pizza before I did it for a Klondike bar.”
“That’s because you’re a weirdo and you don’t like chocolate.”
“It tastes like dirt.”
“You taste like dirt,” I shot back out of reflex.
“Paige would say otherwise.”
“Or maybe she’d agree with me but keeps her mouth shut because she doesn’t want to hurt your feelings.” I batted my eyelashes at him.
“Ask her next time she’s over.”
“I plan to. I wonder if the pizza guy has to pay for it,” I mused.
“Pay for it?”
“The pizza. The store still needs to get paid. So let’s say a delivery guy shows up and some MILF in lingerie is all ‘oh no, I’m soooo hungry but don’t have any money’ and the pizza guy is all ‘there’s another way you can pay’ and the MILF is all ‘yes, daddy.’” I pantomimed tearing a shirt open.
“And he gets some nookie instead of cash. Would he have to pay for the pizza since she didn’t? ”
He thought about it. “It would make sense if he did. But considering you have to prepay for everything nowadays, I doubt that’s a thing anymore.”
“Ugh, technology ruins everything,” I grumbled and kicked my feet up so my legs were draped over his lap. “Where’s the romance?”
“Pretty sure there wasn’t a lot of romance going on in these types of scenarios.”
“I almost did it once.”
“Fucked someone for a pizza?”
“Not a pizza.” I motioned to my legs and gave him my best puppy eyes. “I twisted my knee at work. Can you fix it?”
“Which one?”
“Left.”
He smoothed his big hands over my knee and gently massaged the muscles right above and below the joint.
“Well?” he prompted when I didn’t say anything.
“Well what?” I settled back against the arm of the couch and let out a contented sigh.
“Finish your story! You can’t cliffhanger me after saying you almost fucked someone for pizza.”
“It wasn’t for pizza. Remember that sparkly harness I was obsessed with and finally got?”
“Yeah. Wait. You said Mackenzie gave that to you.”
“She did. But she made a joke about how she’d only give it to me if I fucked her and got her off when I was saying how much I wanted one just like it.”
“You never told me this.”
I shrugged. “Because it didn’t happen. I would have because you know how much of a slut I am when I drink, but she changed her mind.” I watched his hands as they gently massaged my knee. “She said any guy who’d want a sparkly harness wouldn’t know how to get a girl off so she just gave it to me.”
Aiden frowned. “I’m sorry, Nicky.”
I shrugged again. “Not the first time I’ve heard that shit. But I got the harness and ended up dirty-dancing with Braedan for the rest of the night so I’m calling it a win.”
“Her loss.”
“Yup. If someone can’t appreciate all of me, then they don’t deserve any of me.”
“Fuck yeah they don’t.”
Ding dong .
“Damn. They are quick tonight.” Aiden patted my shin. “Either let me up or get your ass to the door to get our food.”
“That sounds like a you job.” I tucked my knees up under my chin so he could stand.
I waited as Aiden went to the door to get the pizza.
“I was kinda hoping you’d try to seduce them,” I said as he brought our food into the living room.
“I thought about it, but that guy looked like he’d had a long day.” He put the boxes on the coffee table. “And I know how much it sucks to have someone mess with you while you’re working.”
“Yeah.” I flipped the pizza box open and pulled out a steaming slice. “That’s true. It’s only funny to do that kind of thing when you know the person.” I took a big bite of my pizza. “Did I tell you some kids did one of those jump-scare pranks on Zane the other day?”
“What?” He froze, his hand hovering over the pizza box. “Do they have a death wish?”
I popped a slice of pepperoni in my mouth. “He was leaving his jobsite after shutting everything down and a group of kids jumped out of the bushes when he passed them.”
“Jesus. Why?”
“He said they were recording him, so I’m thinking some sort of social media content.”
“They picked the wrong guy to mess with. Did they get their shot before he went full psycho on them?”
“Nope. I don’t even think he can get scared. He calls it situational awareness. I call it being a scary motherfucker.”
“What happened after they jumped out at him? Did River have to bail him out of jail?”
I shook my head and swallowed a cheesy bite. “He saw they were little kids before he pulled his knife out. If they’d been older, he would have fucked them up and had fun doing it. They scattered when he turned around.”
“Probably caught the full blast of his death stare.” Aiden paused. “Who do you think would be worse in that situation? Like if it was adults. River, or Zane?”
“Hmmm.” I chewed pensively. “Honestly, I’m not sure.
Zane’s death stare is scary as all get out, but River’s smiles are terrifying in a different way.
You should have seen them when Gray got beat up.
I thought they were gonna kill those guys.
The only reason they held back was because of Biggs and Kai.
I’ve seen them get mad, but I’ve never seen them rage out like that.
Oh, did I show you the prezzie Zane gave me? ”
He shook his head and chewed a big bite of pizza.
“brB.” Shoving the rest of my slice into my mouth, I scurried into my room to get it. “Pretty, isn’t it?” I dropped down on the sofa and handed it to him.
“Is this a fidget spinner?” He examined the intricately carved metal shell. “Why is it so heavy?”
“Because it’s not just a fidget spinner.” Taking it back, I flicked open the trigger cover and released the hidden blade with a press of my thumb.
“Holy shit.” Aiden gawked at it. “Is that legal?”
“Nope. He wanted to give me this really cute set of brass knuckles that come all folded up and have little pop-up blades you can release when you spread the circles out and wear them, like knife claws, but the spinner is a bit more user-friendly so he gave those to Kai instead and I got the pretty one.”
“That’s really sweet, and totally psycho.”
I snapped the blade closed. The knife itself was gorgeous and crafted in silver with an intricate pattern of swirls in galaxy colors overlaid on the casing. The blade was in oil-slick hues and fit perfectly in my hand.
“Some people bring their friends coffee as a way to say they care. Zane hands out weapons.” I tossed the knife on the table and grabbed another pizza slice. “He wants us to be able to protect ourselves in case anything like what happened to Gray happens again.”
“Do you think it will?”
“Not sure. But I know things will be different if it does. Biggs wouldn’t let anyone get away with that kind of shit, and he’d never blame us like Corey and Ray did to Gray.
He’s also putting cameras around the building and adding lots of security inside.
He cares about us, and not just about how much money we make him.
” I pointed to the TV. “Want to start the show?”
“Yeah.” He grabbed the remote off the table. “Can you get me a soda?”
“Sure.” I put my slice on a napkin and stood. “Don’t start without me. I don’t want to miss anything!”
“This is our fourth rewatch this year . You’ve seen everything there is to see.”
“So?” I called over my shoulder as I hurried into the tiny galley kitchen. “Do you skip dessert just because you’ve had cake before?”
“That makes no sense,” he shouted back.
“Yes it does! You just don’t get it.” I opened the fridge and pulled out two drinks. “I’m having one too,” I informed him as I came back into the living room. “You know how much I love cream soda. I can’t resist when I see it.”
“Why do you think I buy it?” He poked me in the side as I sat next to him.
“You’re the bestest bestie ever.” I threw him a smile, then shoved the entire pizza crust in my mouth.
“Classy.” He popped the top on one of the cans. “Is that the guy equivalent of a girl tying a cherry stem in a knot with her tongue?”
I put my hand in front of my mouth so I could talk around the food I was still chewing.
“I have no idea what kind of BJs you’ve been getting, but I tend to go top down, not from the side.
” I swallowed and dropped my hand. “And most guys don’t really want you to fold their dicks in half to fit them in your mouth. Or chew on them.”
He chuckled and handed me the open soda. “Remember when Tessa was bragging about that cherry-stem trick at Rylan’s party and she challenged all the girls to do it?”
I choked on the sip of soda I’d just taken. “Oh shit.” I pounded my chest to try to clear my lungs. “I forgot about that.”
Aiden thumped me on the back a few times. “I felt so bad for them. They were making these weird faces and trying to look sexy, but they reminded me of cows.”
“And Tessa didn’t even tie hers.”
“You tied yours.” He held out his can to clink with mine. “And you didn’t look like a cow doing it. I don’t think she ever forgave you for showing her up.”
“She should’ve believed me when I said I could do it,” I sassed. “Not my fault she wrote a check she couldn’t cash when she dared me to do better than her.”
“I saw this thing on TikTok where people were sticking bananas down their throats and pulling them out. I mean, I get that the sentiment of ‘hey, I can deepthroat’ is hot, but it looks weird to be giving blowies to bananas on social media.”
“So weird. And dangerous. Dash said he tried it, but the banana broke off right above the peel and it almost got stuck in his throat. There’s a reason sex toys have bases on them.”
“Imagine being the person who croaked because they were deepthroating a banana? And there being video evidence of it?”
“I’d die, then come back to life just to die again.” The cinnamon sticks had been calling my name since before I even started on pizza, and I finally snagged one and bit into it. Deliciousness warmed my mouth. “Do you think ghosts can be embarrassed?” I asked.
Aiden pointed the remote at the TV and started the first episode.
“Maybe that’s why ghosts stick around,” I continued, tucking my feet under me as I faced the TV.
“Maybe it’s not unfinished business or being vengeful that traps them here.
Maybe it’s people who died in embarrassing ways and their spirits get stuck while they ruminate about that moment for all of eternity.
Just reliving it over and over again until the end of time… ”
“That’s dark, my guy.” Aiden side-eyed me. “New fear unlocked.”
“Sorry not sorry.” I sipped my soda and turned my attention to the screen, ready to be immersed in the world of my favorite ladies and hanging out with my BFF.