12. Nick #2
He nodded.
I slumped in my seat, the last of the fight leaving me. “Can you not be all mysterious and intense right now? I had a shit day and I don’t have the bandwidth to handle the word games right now.”
“Did Evan tell you about how the letters have been arriving every week on a schedule since we got that first one?”
“He said the one about me broke the pattern and that’s why he was worried about it.”
“They never resumed their pattern. Now the letters are arriving at random intervals. Some by post, some by courier. Some have been dropped off in person, but they always manage to evade our cameras so we haven’t been able to identify them.”
“Do you think it’s the same person?”
He nodded. “They’re smart, but not smart enough. Whoever it is wears different shoes or boots every time. Different sizes, treads, types. All generic brand and all widely available.”
“So how do you know it’s the same person if they’re wearing different sized shoes?”
“Because we can estimate their height based on reference points in the footage. With that info, we can calculate their weight from the footprints they leave behind, even with the different types of shoes. The letters were all delivered by someone who’s between five eleven and six foot, and about one hundred eighty pounds. ”
“That sounds like it could be a lot of people.”
“Right. Without more precise information or any sort of identifying marks, it’s going to be tough finding them based on height and weight alone.”
“So they’re sending letters all willy nilly, and that’s freaking everyone out?”
“It’s a sign that whoever is doing this is getting more and more unhinged. The language in the letters is all over the place, too. They’re mixing singular and plural, calling themselves I in one line and saying we in the next. And they’re becoming increasingly graphic with their threats.”
“Do I want to know what they’re saying?” A hollow pit formed in my gut.
He shook his head.
My stomach dropped. “Am I in danger? I asked Evan and he said he didn’t think so. What do you think?”
“I think we need to be careful.”
“That’s not an answer.”
“I honestly don’t know.” He sighed and pulled off his ballcap to scrub his hand through his hair.
“But I will always err on the side of caution when it comes to threats. Stalkers are unpredictable, which is what makes them dangerous. I can’t tell you one way or another if you’re in danger, but I can promise I won’t let anything happen to you. ”
“But how can you promise that? You can’t be in two places at once. And why are you following me and not with Evan? Isn’t he the actual target and I’m just collateral damage? Why is no one protecting him!”
“Easy, Nicky.” He grabbed my hand and squeezed it. “Breathe.”
I sucked in a shaky breath. Why was I dizzy?
“We’re doing everything we can to keep you safe. You have a full security detail. We’ve been monitoring your apartment, your jobs. You’ve had at least two people on you at all times.”
“I have?” I gawked at him. “When did that start?”
“The night we got the first letter that mentioned you.”
“You mean someone has been following me for a month and I didn’t notice?”
“I’m pretty good at what I do.” He grinned and squeezed my hand. “If I do say so myself.”
“ You’ve been following me?”
“It sounds less creepy if you say I’ve been guarding you or protecting you.”
“You really want to argue semantics when I just found out you’ve been tracking me like a deer in hunting season for a month!”
“Again with the language. Tracking, hunting… I’m on your side here.”
“Are you? What about Evan? You’re his family, and you just left him vulnerable for a whole month while you’ve been protecting me?”
“I have a full detail on Evan too. I know this is a shock, but do you really think I’d risk my best friend?”
“No,” I conceded. “But why are you on my detail and not his?”
“Because he might be my brother, but he’s also my boss. He told me to be your primary, so I’m your primary.”
“I still can’t believe you’ve been following me around for a month and I never noticed.” I kicked the back of the seat in front of me. “Am I that oblivious, or are you that good?”
“I’m that good.”
“So good that you messed up and I saw you today?”
He smiled crookedly. “You’re the one who took a different route and made me adjust my routine. And you only saw me because I wanted you to.”
“What do you mean?”
“I love Evan, and I respect him, but he’s not thinking clearly right now.
He wanted me to stay stealth because he didn’t want to scare you or stress you out.
But you can’t protect yourself if you don’t know what’s going on.
And full disclosure, my job is a hell of a lot easier when I don’t have to waste my time and energy ducking behind things or hiding in plain sight. ”
“I suppose it would be.” I dug the fidget spinner Zane had given me out of my pocket. “But just so you know, I’m not completely weak and useless.” I flicked the blade open. “I can protect myself.”
“Do you know how to use that?”
“Zane showed me.”
“Have you ever used it on someone?”
I shook my head.
He held out his hand. I carefully placed the handle on his palm.
“This is a nice blade.” He examined it closely. “Where did you get it?”
“Zane and River.”
He snapped it closed and handed it back. “I never said you couldn’t protect yourself. I just mean you can do a better job if you have all the information. That’s all.”
I tucked the knife away. “When does he get back from his trip?”
“He got home this morning.”
“Hey, Myron?” I called to the front of the car.
“Yeah?”
“Can you take me to…” I looked at Vlado.
“The penthouse,” he answered.
“Penthouse?” I asked him.
“Evan’s main residence.”
“Can you please take me to the penthouse, Myron?”
He peered at us in the rearview mirror, his expression filled with questions.
Vlado nodded.
“Where is this penthouse?” I asked. “Is it in Seattle?”
Another nod.
I crossed my arms and turned to stare out the window. The scenery raced by, but I couldn’t focus on anything as my mind spun.
A part of me was grateful Evan cared enough to put security on me, and I was really glad Vlado was the one who’d been watching me. I trusted him, and I liked him, but I was still salty that they’d lied to me.
The news that the threats had ramped up was also terrifying. I’d convinced myself that Evan had been right and this wasn’t something to worry about. He hadn’t said anything since, but then again, I hadn’t asked.
Ugh. Today sucked donkey balls. I’d lost my job, had to say goodbye to the place I’d worked at for almost six years, and I’d freaked out my bestie after I’d been avoiding him for months.
“Are you mad at me?” Vlado asked.
“Yes.” I kept staring unseeingly out the window.
“Is there anything I can do to make you less mad?”
“No.”
“You sure?”
I turned to face him as a wall of emotions slammed into me. Exhaustion, anger, fear, sadness, loneliness. All of them hit at once, leaving me feeling raw and vulnerable and so freaking alone.
“I had a really bad day,” I whispered. “Can I have a hug?”
He opened his arms.
I scooted closer and leaned against this broad chest as he held me tight. The softness of his sweater and the steady beat of his heart soothed the noise in my head, and some of the crushing despair inside me faded.
“I promise I’m not hitting on you or anything.” I snuggled closer. “I’m just a really tactile person and hugs and cuddles help me feel better.”
“I know.” He gave me a little squeeze and rested his cheek on the top of my head. “I get it. Sometimes you just need some platonic cuddles to not feel so alone.”
“Yeah. I’m glad you understand. So many people don’t and they get mad because they think I’m flirting or trying to start something when all I want is a hug.”
“You’re safe with me, Nick. If you need a hug or a cuddle or someone to vent to, I’m here.”
“Thanks.” I sighed and hugged him tighter. “I’m not mad at you anymore.”
“I’m glad.”
“I’m pissed as hell at him.”
“I don’t blame you. Do you want to talk about what happened today?”
“How much do you know?”
“Nothing. I don’t keep tabs on your day-to-day life or listen in on your conversations or phone calls. I just make sure you’re safe from afar and keep an eye out for anything that might help us find this asshole.”
“My boss told us she’s closing the café and today was my last shift.”
“I’m sorry, Nicky.”
“I’ll be fine. I have my other job, and this one. And all my bills are paid for the next few months. It was just a shock. I went in expecting a normal day and instead my whole world got flipped upside down. Then this stuff with you and Evan and the letters…and I freaked Gray out.”
“Gray? How did you freak him out?”
“I FaceTimed him while I was trying to figure out if you were a random dude or a serial killer and I couldn’t tell him it was you because I can’t tell him about Evan and this arrangement and now he’s freaked out.” I smushed my face into his chest. “I’m a terrible friend.”
“I’m sure you’re not.”
“I am. I’ve been lying to him, to everyone, for months.
And Gray isn’t just my bestie. He and Aiden are my platonic soulmates.
Do you know how soul-crushing it is to lie to the people who’ve chosen to love you?
And the thing about Gray is he has massive abandonment issues, and he’s hypersensitive to rejection because of his walking dildo of a sperm donor.
I’m hurting him every time I lie or brush him off.
And the worst part is he’s too nice to call me on it, so instead he internalizes his pain and it comes out in other, usually unhealthy ways.
And he’s got some shit going on with his stepbrother and I can’t be there for him because I have to keep my stupid mouth shut about everything happening in my life. ”
“I’m just tossing this out there, but your and Evan’s relationship isn’t secret.”
“What do you mean?”
“Evan’s family has a lot of connections, and they’re regularly talked about in certain circles. There’s press about you out there.”
“Really?” I untangled myself from him.
“You have to search for it, and I’m sure it’s not in any sources your friends read, but it’s public knowledge that you’re with him.”
I just stared at him. “I know you’re dropping hints, but my brain is too messy to pick up what you’re putting down.”
“Telling your friends you’re dating Evan doesn’t go against the NDA. Mentioning anything about the contract and your arrangement does.”
“So I can tell Gray and my friends I have a boyfriend and that’s why I’ve been so busy? I don’t have to keep lying to everyone?”
“You can. The key is to not mention anything about a contract, monetary compensation, or that the relationship is fake. Anything else is fair game.”
“Ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod. Thank you!” I launched myself into his lap.
He caught me with a belly laugh and let me hug him like a crazed monkey.
“You have no idea how much lying to everyone has been stressing me out. How guilty I feel every time I lie to Gray or the twins or anyone else from the club about why I’m taking a night off or why I can’t hang out with them.”
“Now you don’t have to do that.”
I wiggled off his lap and settled next to him with my head on his shoulder. “Do you powerlift?”
“You can tell?”
“Powerlifters are usually more comfy than bodybuilders. You’re really comfy.”
“Did you eat today?”
“No comment.”
“Want to stop for a burger before you rip Ev a new one?”
“Yes please.”
I half listened as Vlado talked to Myron about stopping for food, already excited at the prospect of finally being able to tell my friends the truth, at least a version of the truth.