Chapter 36
Chapter Thirty-Six
Kat
A couple of days later, on Saturday, I’m at my art station working on the project I started for Asher. The image of him on the ice, capturing that moment when he looked so free and unburdened.
My hand is still bandaged and I have to adjust my grip on the pencil, which feels awkward and unnatural.
The angle is all wrong, and I keep having to shift my hold to avoid putting pressure on the healing cut.
But after taking a couple of days off from drawing, I couldn’t stay away any longer.
I can’t go very long without picking up a pencil or brush.
It’s like asking me not to breathe. My fingers get restless, my mind gets cluttered with images that need to come out onto paper.
When I glance over toward the guest house, I can see Asher through the window. He’s on the phone, pacing back and forth in that restless way he does when something important is happening. His free hand runs through his hair, and even from this distance I can read the tension in his body.
He’s been spending most of his free time over here at the main cabin lately.
Hasn’t slept in the guest house for days, actually.
We’ve been spending every night tangled up together in my bed, and I’ve gotten so used to waking up with him beside me that the thought of going back to sleeping alone makes my chest feel hollow.
But he goes over to the guest house sometimes to take calls so he won’t disturb me while I’m working. Which I appreciate, even though part of me wants him close all the time now.
The talks between him and the Aces have been getting very serious over the past few days.
Working toward an agreement that everyone is on board with.
There are a lot of little details that have to happen, apparently.
Contract negotiations that go back and forth, input from his lawyer and agent, offers and counteroffers.
All the business side of professional sports that I never really thought about before meeting him.
I bite my lip, my gaze following him as he moves around on the call. Even from here, I can see the seriousness in his expression as he talks. This matters so much to him.
It feels like something has changed between us, ever since that day he dropped everything and came to help me after I cut myself. The way he held my hand in the ER, the way he kept me calm when I was panicking… and the sex we had afterward.
I know it’s not really a big deal on paper that we didn’t use a condom, and haven’t since then. We both talked about it, we’re both clean and safe, so logically we’re fine. But it felt like more than just the practical decision of whether to use protection or not.
The feeling of him filling me up with nothing between us, the intimacy and closeness of it… I feel like I took away the barrier around my heart at the same time, and I’m not quite sure what to do about that.
I refocus on the drawing of Asher, trying to get the shading right on his jacket.
I’m doing it entirely from memory, though by now I’m so familiar with his features that I know every detail.
The exact shape of his jaw, strong and defined.
The way his hair falls across his forehead when it’s not styled.
The line of his shoulders, broad and powerful.
The way his eyes crinkle at the corners when he really smiles, not just the polite smile he gives strangers but the real one.
As I’m working on getting the angle of his skate right, I hear the cabin door open as Asher comes back inside.
My heart jumps, and I scramble to hide the drawing, grabbing another half-finished piece to cover it. He comes into the room just as I finish the swap, and his brows furrow slightly.
“Everything okay?”
“Yeah, fine.” I’m probably acting a bit weird, but hopefully he’ll just think I’m focused on work.
He comes over to see what I’m working on, leaning down to study the landscape images that I was working on last week. “Looks great. The detail on the bark is incredible.”
“Thanks.” I smile up at him. “These are all still just practice, nothing set for the book yet. But it’s been fun.”
“I’m glad.” He leans down and kisses my neck, his lips warm against my skin. I can’t help but lean into his touch, my eyes closing for a second.
“How was the call?” I ask, trying to sound casual even though I’m dying to know.
“Really great, actually.” There’s excitement in his voice, but I can hear the nerves underneath too.
“My agent and I made a few requests for changes to the contract. Nothing major, just some details about the term length and whether year three would be guaranteed or a team option. We should know soon if the Aces are going to accept our terms or pass on the whole thing.”
I turn around on my stool to face him properly, setting down my pencil. “They’d be idiots to pass. Any team would be lucky to have you.”
His eyes soften, something vulnerable passing through his expression. He cups my face with both hands and kisses me, and the kiss deepens for a moment before he pulls back, grimacing slightly.
“Are you sure you want to do this tonight?”
I make a face too, but nod. “Yeah. I’ve decided to go.”
Daniel and Maya’s engagement party is tonight, and I decided I really don’t want to deal with the small town gossip that would come from not showing up.
People would talk, speculating about whether I couldn’t handle seeing my ex get engaged.
And besides, showing up with Asher on my arm feels like it will cut the last strings of my relationship with Daniel, giving me the clean break and fresh start I need.
But I’m not exactly looking forward to spending an evening making small talk with my ex and his fiancée.
Asher snorts, disdain in the sound. “Only an attention seeking asshole like Daniel would have his engagement party a week before Christmas.”
I laugh at that, the tension breaking. “Right? Everyone is so busy this time of year.”
We get ready together, and there’s something domestic about it that makes my heart ache.
Both of us moving around my bedroom, Asher borrowing my mirror to fix his hair while I do my makeup.
He wears dark slacks and a button down shirt that makes him look unfairly good, the fabric stretching across his shoulders in a way that makes me want to skip the party entirely and stay here.
I choose a black cocktail dress that I bought on a whim a few months ago but never had the confidence to wear.
It’s more fitted than what I usually go for, hugging my curves instead of hiding them.
The neckline is lower than I’d normally choose.
But tonight feels like the right time. I’m ready to own who I am instead of trying to shrink myself down.
“You look beautiful,” Asher says when I come out of the bathroom, and the way he’s looking at me makes me believe it.
We head out to the Maplewood Country Club in Asher’s car. The venue is small and not super fancy, it’s still one of the nicer venues around. There are white tablecloths on the tables, dim romantic lighting, a small band set up in the corner playing soft jazz as we walk inside.
There are a lot of people from town here, faces I recognize from growing up in Maplewood. Some from Daniel’s work too, I’m guessing. People in expensive suits and dresses, sipping champagne and making polite conversation.
As we enter the main room, Asher leans down close to my ear. “You okay?”
I adjust the strap of my dress, my palm still a bit tender from the injury even though it’s healing well. “I’m perfect.”
His quiet chuckle makes me smile despite my nerves. “Hell yes, you are. That’s the spirit.”
Daniel and Maya are positioned near the entrance, greeting guests as they arrive like this is a receiving line at a wedding. As I take them in, really look at them together for the first time since the breakup, a thought hits me like a revelation.
For the first time, I can see how truly out of place I would’ve been if my life had gone differently and I was standing in Maya’s position right now.
Not because I’m not wife material the way Daniel said, but because he never made me feel comfortable enough to be myself.
If I were in Maya’s place, about to marry Daniel, I would be trying to fit so many expectations that I never would’ve actually been happy.
I would’ve spent my whole life contorting myself into the shape he wanted instead of being allowed to just exist as I am.
With that thought sitting front and center in my mind, I stride over to them with Asher by my side.
“Congratulations,” I say after we say hello. “I’m really happy for you both.”
And I mean it. Whatever Daniel and I had, it wasn’t right. And Maya seems nice enough. I hope they’ll be happy together, even if I have my doubts.
Maya’s smile is bright, almost relieved, like maybe she was worried I’d make a scene. “Thank you so much. That really means a lot to us.”
Daniel thanks me too, shaking Asher’s hand and making polite conversation. But his gaze lingers on me for just an extra second, something I can’t quite read in his expression.
After greeting the couple, Asher and I mingle with the guests, making polite small talk.
After about fifteen minutes, Asher excuses himself to get us drinks from the bar across the room.
I’m standing near one of the tall windows, looking out at the parking lot beyond, when I feel someone step up close beside me.
“You look incredible tonight,” Daniel says, his voice low and intimate.
I glance at him, a little startled by his sudden appearance. “Uh, thanks.”
“That dress really looks good on you. Shows off your figure.”