11. Finn
CHAPTER 11
Finn
The number one lesson any potential fake boyfriend accompanying Percy to a family function needed to learn, was that dinners didn’t so much begin and end as they were interrupted by the rest of life’s events in their perpetual duration.
Dinners were a way of life. Everything else was a chore.
This particular dinner—if a historian were inclined to draw its beginning line, it would be after Percy had pleasured himself a little too loudly in the shower and sent me running before a temptation to undress and wait for him won me over and when everyone else woke up from their afternoon nap—drew on for longer than I was used to.
Alicia and Lawrence shared some incredible insights on human anatomy, then some surprising ones about knots that would have made most sailors scratch their heads. Throughout it all, wisps of vapor were rising from Percy’s ears. He was so red that I was surprised when Nektaria didn’t put the leftover moussaka on his head to keep it warm.
After the initial round of eating, which was done at a much more deliberate pace, we transitioned to that lazy, leisurely activity of reaching over for another olive or a piece of cheese or more honey-drizzled feta crustas . It was the time when we washed every other bite down with a sip of red wine. We no longer sat around the big dining table but scattered around the beautiful terrace Percy had bought for his parents to enjoy.
For all his blushing and moaning in protest, Percy Davenport was well aware that romance was alive and thriving in his parents’ lives. He had bought them a house that was simply made to amplify everyone’s emotions, be those of love or mere lust. I was experiencing some of that phenomenon where the Greek sun kisses you and it feels like Cupid shot you right through your heart.
Percy was currently engaged in a conversation with Judith, who had excused herself to make a phone call some minutes earlier, telling a woman that her Percy had always been an eligible bachelor, but she failed to mention that Percy’s loving boyfriend was currently here with him as well. Percy, stepping up, decided to put a stop to it. If he succeeded, Aunt Judith wouldn’t try to marry him off in the next two, maybe three hours.
Alicia and Lawrence had decided to take a short break from eating in order to enjoy the infinity pool. Alicia swam away elusively from her husband, who was so elegantly suave in the water with his combed hair, pencil mustache, and hairy chest, that it was no wonder his wife swam closer and closer as he lounged at the edge. When he barked and growled and buried his head in her neck, Alicia’s arms flailing through the water and splashing it everywhere, her laughter pealing toward the darkening sky, I knew then it was time to look away.
With a huff, Emily plopped down on the soft cushion beside me, curling one leg under her butt and holding a glass of wine in her hand. Lightly curled locks of brown hair fell stylishly over her brow and the sides of her head. She had this effortless beauty I envied slightly somewhere deep in that part of my heart. She also had that knowing smile and humor-filled eyes. “My brother says you’re a rocket surgeon.”
I swallowed my wine a moment before I risked choking on it. “Open rocket surgeon, if you would.”
“Impressive,” Emily said.
I cocked an eyebrow playfully. “It’s an underappreciated discipline.” We shared a laugh as I looked at the darkening orange horizon. “Ah, no, I’m kind of between jobs,” I sighed. I went from a thief to a liar , I thought. “Percy’s so supportive, you know. He doesn’t want me…” Words hitched in my throat. What was I doing here? “…doesn’t want me working from dawn to dusk if it’s not something that fulfills me.” I buried my nose into my big wine glass and took a deep gulp of the crackling dry vintage.
Emily didn’t scrutinize my words or my behavior. She looked at the setting sun just like me. “And what fulfills you, Finn?”
I thought about it. Lies, lies, and more lies . I was pretending to be someone I could never become. I hadn’t realized it would be this hard to act as if my life had some meaning. I hadn’t expected my heart to be so bruised by simply pretending that things were good.
Life was tough at the best of times. Mine especially and even more so after what little my family had owned went down the drain with a scheme that made other people rich.
What I daydreamed as I spoke to Emily were things anyone should have had; to wake up with a sense of hope that this day might bring something other than a gut punch, to walk out and have somewhere to be, not just to wander aimlessly until my days passed me by.
“I don’t know,” I replied somberly. “I have a lot of thinking to do.”
Emily put a hand on my forearm and held it firmly for a moment as if lending me the strength to do this thinking. “I like you, Finn,” she said. “I like you a lot.”
That sparked my naturally good mood back to life. “I like you, too. All of you.”
She smiled a curly, mischievous smile and nodded. “I hope we see a lot more of you around here.”
“Oh, I’m sure you will,” I lied like I was paid for it. “I don’t have any plans on leaving this slice of heaven.”
Emily licked her lips and hesitated, then narrowed her eyes as if to drive home the importance of her words. “Then make sure that’s what happens,” she said carefully. “I mean it. My brother adores you.” She put an odd sort of emphasis on it. It was the kind of accent that made me feel like I’d swallowed a rock, although having cleared everything from my plate, however many times they added to it, it wasn’t a miracle. “And I think you feel the same.”
“Of course,” I said in a breathy voice, my cheeks growing warm like I’d been caught stealing hot cookies from a tray.
Emily didn’t miss a beat. “But he’s a clumsy idiot when it comes to people. He needs everything spelled out for him. And not many guys are willing to put in the work.”
I nodded. Lies filled my head. I have my ways , I might have said. That’s why we’re such a lovey-dovey match , I could have told her sweetly. But it was clear to me that Emily saw through our scheme as easily as if there was no veil of lies. To have my heart bared so easily by someone who always acted like it was all the same to her was uncanny.
I might have thanked her for the wise words or for the encouragement. I might have admitted to her that I had no hopes of catching Percy’s eye beyond playing my role faithfully. I might have told her she misunderstood her brother’s well-acted feelings. But Percy’s hand landed on my shoulder softly, giving me a squeeze, and I almost collapsed. I almost melted over that hand when I tipped my head to press my cheek against the back of it.
“What are you two conspiring about?” Percy asked, his hand warm. I felt its absence when I lifted my head back, but Percy, seemingly absent-minded, caressed my cheek with the back of his finger. “And why hasn’t anyone come to my rescue?”
“If you really need someone to rescue you from Aunt Judith’s matchmaking, I’m not sure you’re ready to face this big, mad world,” Emily said lovingly.
Percy hissed between his teeth. “Maybe you’re right.” He looked at me. “A penny for your thoughts?”
I shrugged. “I’ll take the penny. Later.”
Percy smiled, his blue gaze lingering on me for a little while longer. “I was thinking I could show you the old town. God knows I could use a walk to burn off the calories.”
“Run before Nektaria sees you,” Emily said. “Dinner’s only halfway done.”
I nodded before Percy needed to ask again. “Let’s sneak away then.”
“Great,” Percy said. “I have a…surprise for you.” He blurted the last bit a little awkwardly, smiled softly, and started for the exit.
As I got up, Emily followed me with her gaze. When we looked at each other, she nodded encouragingly and said, “ Carpe diem .”
Seize the day.
I wondered if I should tell Percy his sister caught us red-handed and urged me to seduce him for real or if I should just follow her advice. The thought was so oddly shaped that I struggled to fit it into my head. Flirt with him for real? But as I examined the idea, I discovered that I had already accepted it from the very first day.
Percy was attractive. He was hot as hell when he showered and held back his moans. He was kind and funny and easily embarrassed, all qualities in which I loved in people. The only thing that stood between me and accepting that my feelings for him were not so platonic was the fact that we needed to keep a respectful distance, or this entire operation was doomed.
We walked out of the house quietly, letting nobody know where we went. It was a leisurely walk away from the house and through narrow alleys that were framed by low, white houses with distinct blue windows. “This island is so beautiful,” Percy said. “I want to show you more of it.”
“If it gets you away from your family and keeps you sane, I’m all for it,” I said.
Percy laughed softly and glanced at me with gratitude. “You handle them very well.”
“I like them,” I said.
“Even Aunt Judith, trying to steal me away from you?” Percy asked, incredulous.
“Especially Aunt Judith!” I declared. “She’s looking out for you. Gotta love a woman who can prepare for the worst.”
Percy threw his head back and laughed out loud.
We took a left turn that connected us with the town beach. There, a path of wooden planks was built along the inland edge of the beach for people who wanted to stroll without getting too much sand in their shoes.
The afterlight lingered on the western sky, although the sun had retired under the horizon. We walked close to one another, the wooden path narrow and forcing our shoulders together every once in a while.
“I mean it,” Percy said. “You’re so wonderful with all of them. I couldn’t have brought a better fake boyfriend if I tried.”
I rolled my shoulders in a small shrug. “I know you’re embarrassed to imagine your mother hanging from various ropes in compromising poses—” Percy made a strangled noise, so I went quiet for a moment before moving on. “—erm, but I find it sweet that they’re still so in love.”
“Even if it sets up impossible expectations?” Percy muttered.
“If you don’t believe love can look like that, that’s not their fault,” I pointed out. “See, my parents love each other. I don’t doubt that. They get along just fine and agree on most things when they’re important. But come Saturday evening, Dad is watching football with a can of beer in that worn-out armchair he loves so much that has a can holder, and Mom is reading a Jane Austen novel for the nth time. They love each other enough to let each other do what they like, but it’s hardly a passionate marriage. And here I am, believing marriage can be as passionate as the one Alicia and Lawrence have.”
“It’s all about finding the right partner, huh?” Percy mused.
“Mm, but the question is, are you the sort of romantic that loves as passionately as they do? Or are you someone who loves quietly and steadily?” I couldn’t wipe away the small smile that was pulling at the corners of my lips.
Percy thought about it, the wind ruffling his perfect hair as we neared the end of the beach and the start of the harbor and the town center. “I might be the latter, but it’s not for the lack of trying,” he said. With his hands tucked into the pockets of his dark blue shorts, Percy looked into the distance. “What about you?”
Something small and wild fluttered inside my heart. “I think it depends on who I’m around. Some people just inspire you, you know?”
Percy nodded with understanding. “That’s well put.”
We walked along the harbor and Percy pointed to a bench, offering to sit down a little and watch the purple smears of paint across the canvas of the sky. Wisps of clouds caught the last rays of sunlight before they faded completely, their bottom sides bright and glowing, the upper ones in total shadows.
Even though the bench was spacious, we still sat as if we were on the wooden path along the beach, his arm touching mine almost like they belonged on one another.
I wondered if Emily had gotten it right. Could he actually be interested in me? She’d used a pretty strong word to describe it. If she were even slightly correct, it would still be everything anyone could want. To be liked and admired and attractive in the eyes of someone as sweet and incredible as Percy Davenport.
“I wanted to show my gratitude for what you are doing, Finn,” Percy said softly.
Kiss me, then. That’s all the gratitude I want . But I reined in those thoughts. “You’re worth helping, mister.”
“I…” He hesitated, a little smile touching the corners of his lips. “God, I really hope I didn’t misunderstand anything. Look, maybe it’s silly…”
My heart was twice its size. Was he going to show his gratitude by taking my hand, looking into my eyes, and saying something that would make me melt off the bench? “Yeah?” I nudged him. You misunderstood nothing. I like you .
“I spoke to Kim,” Percy said.
A frown wrinkled my brow. “Um, okay?” I could barely hear him over my own heartbeat.
“And she’s on board with it,” Percy said firmly. “I want you to be properly compensated for your time and effort, Finn. You can do whatever you want with it. Keep it, give it to your family, give it to charity, whatever makes you feel good. But I can’t expect you to spend so much time with us and leave here empty-handed, right? So, what do you think?” An innocent smile stretched his lips and he looked at me expectantly.
My frown only deepened as the nasty flavors of sudden disappointment and heated embarrassment got thrown into the mix. “Seriously? You want to…pay me money?”
“Sure,” Percy said.
I pulled away from him on the bench. My throat tightened and I fought to inhale while wheezing. I couldn’t tell you why my eyes stung. I sure as hell wasn’t crying. “No, thanks.”
“Wh-what do you mean? I thought you needed…”
I hadn’t realized how short my fuse was. “I needed? No. I don’t need anything. And I’m not for hire, Percy. I thought that much was clear.”
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I know you didn’t ask, but I thought you would appreciate it.”
“Being paid for spending my time with you and your family makes it an insult to everyone involved,” I said dryly.
“That’s not…” He paused, eyes wide with a sudden realization that not everyone could be bought with money. “That’s not what I meant.”
“Good.” But my heart had cracked, and the silly hopes I had allowed to take root in me were squashed to dust. “Um, I think I’d like to go back.” My throat was sore and my voice was a little rough. It was sadness, I realized. I was so goddamn sad that I had allowed myself to think, even for a second, that Percy wanted to share something special and intimate with me. That was the only payment I would have accepted, but that was the one that he had never meant to offer.
Good.
At least I knew where I stood.
“Finn, I am sorry if I misunderstood,” he said.
I shook my head and forced a calm over my face. “It’s okay. I’m just…very tired.”
Percy nodded but didn’t move to walk me back to the house. It was a favor, actually, to let me walk by myself and not press the issue any further.
I didn’t linger for much longer. Inhaling a breath of air and blinking away the tears of sadness and embarrassment that only I knew existed, I went back to the house. When I saw Emily on the upper landing of the house, she asked me if I was okay.
“Yes. Perfect.” I even put a smile on for her, but she watched me with concern as I passed her by and went into the bedroom.
How could I have been so naive to think he saw me as anything other than hired help? The man was a billionaire and had his dinners with staff. He was the kindest, most people-liking billionaire I had ever seen. The fact that he had treated me with respect was his basic setting, not an elaborate strategy to seduce me. But when you’re used to rich assholes dragging you through the mud and stepping all over you, a little kindness goes a long way .
I should have realized that Percy was simply nice to me because that was who he was. I shouldn’t have let myself believe that he might actually like me.
And that was the thought I carried to bed when I undressed and covered myself up to my neck with a blanket. My messy locks fell over my face and I didn’t brush them away. My heart thumped evenly as I forced it empty of all its silly, boyish feelings. And I held my breath as a little sob rose and descended. Fuck it. I’d always been on my own. This youthful infatuation was nothing but the excitement over something novel.
But hard as I tried, I couldn’t release the rosy images of what I had expected Percy to do in the privacy of our anonymity in the town. And I couldn’t fall asleep.