Chapter 8
Chapter
Eight
“That doesn’t look good,” Tina said when Smith assisted Kenny from the car late the following afternoon. It had been a grueling day made worse by the long, tense silences between them.
Tina had been waiting for them on the porch. Smith must have let her know that they were done and on their way home. The decision to lie in wait must have been hers alone, if the undisguised flare of annoyance on her brother’s face was any indication.
“Hello, Tina,” Kenny said with a genuine, if somewhat nervous smile. She couldn’t help but remember the words Smith had flung at her all those weeks ago about his family and friends not liking her.
Tina returned her smile with a small, almost nervous one of her own.
“Kenny, I’d ask how you are, but I suppose that pretty much says it all,” Tina said, pointing at the cumbersome fiberglass walking cast on Kenny’s foot.
“The break was worse than I thought,” Kenny admitted with an embarrassed grimace. “They had to realign the bones, basically yank them back into place.”
Tina flinched at the description.
“Good God, that sounds barbaric,” she whispered, her already pale skin going ashen.
“They loaded me up on anesthetic, so I didn’t feel much.” Although the disquieting grinding sensation as the bones slid back into place wasn’t something she’d forget anytime soon.
“And how long do you have to wear that?” Tina asked, as a stony-faced, silent Smith supported Kenny on one side while she hobbled along with a tripod cane up to the porch.
He sat her down on the porch swing, then perched on the half wall across from her while Tina took the rocking chair.
“Six to eight weeks. I can take it off at night. But I have to stay off the foot as much as possible for at least the first month.”
“What about work?” A valid question, since Kenny routinely spent hours on her feet every day during rounds and in surgery.
“I actually took…” She cast a self-conscious sidelong glance at Smith, feeling incredibly foolish for her optimism. “I’m on sabbatical.”
Smith’s eyes narrowed and he leaned forward staring at her intently.
Kenny averted her eyes, focusing on her sister-in-law instead.
The plump, pretty, red-haired woman was watching her with an expression similar to that of her brother.
She found it a little uncanny because they resembled each other only superficially.
“You went on sabbatical before hurting yourself?” Tina clarified and Kenny hesitated before nodding.
“I see.” Kenny wasn’t sure what exactly Tina saw with that shrewd gaze of hers and she shifted uncomfortably, sending the swing rocking gently.
“Anyway, since driving is obviously out of the question,” Kenny said, with a wry gesture at the boot. “I’m going to have to arrange for a driver to pick me up. So I should be out of everybody’s hair by tonight, hopefully.”
“A driver?” Smith asked, voice sharp. “What about Paul?”
“He’s on leave. I don’t want to disturb his vacation just because my plans fell through.”
“What exactly were your plans?” Tina asked. There was nothing but curiosity on her face. No judgment or malice.
“I don’t really know,” Kenny admitted, avoiding Smith’s eyes. “I had the vague idea that I’d come here and talk. But I’ve never been good at talking. So it was pretty foolish.”
A long, troubled silence followed that bit of awkward self-reflection.
“You should stay,” Tina said. Her voice was firm and decisive.
Both Kenny and Smith stared at her.
“Butt out, Tina,” Smith finally said with growl. He was glaring at his sister. “This is none of your business.”
“What do you mean?” Tina asked disingenuously. Their eyes—the only feature they truly had in common—clashed. Hers wide and innocent, his fierce and stormy.
“You know exactly what I mean. You’re meddling.”
“I can’t stay here.” Kenny finally found her voice and they turned to stare at her, as if only now remembering that she was there. And had an opinion in the matter. “It wouldn’t be fair. Smith came here to be with you. You’re his family. And I’m intruding.”
“You’re family too.” Tina’s sweet, simple response stole Kenny’s breath away. In those three words, she finally heard the acceptance she’d always assumed would never be hers. Not from Tina. Or Beth. Or even Fern.
“Thank you.” The words were choked out on a sob, and she clapped a horrified hand over her mouth as she realized how close to tears she truly was.
She took a moment to compose herself before clearing her throat and continuing.
“I know I’m not the most…likeable person.
” She ignored Tina’s gasp. “So I want you to know that it means so much to me to hear you say that.”
“Who told you that?” Tina asked in dismay. “Kenny, why would you say that?”
Kenny slanted a helpless look toward Smith, who looked more than a little guilty.
“No specific reason,” she said, wanting this all to be over. It was time for her to go home and lick her wounds in private. “I’m aware of my shortcomings. I’m sorry we never got to know each other better, Tina. I-I…I really wanted to. I just wasn’t sure…”
She shook her head. This was all moot.
“I’m sorry, I’m tired. I think I’ll make my calls and take a nap.” She struggled to her feet, ignoring Smith’s outstretched hand.
Tina also stood up, still distressed, and before Kenny knew what was happening, the much shorter woman gave her fierce hug.
“Kenny,” she said as she stepped back, her hands loosely clasped around Kenny’s forearms. “I’ve never been great with people either.
In fact, before moving here I had only one friend and a truckload of baggage.
So, trust me, I’m the last person to judge anyone for being socially awkward.
I’m truly sorry if I ever made you feel like I didn’t like you.
I just thought you…” She laughed, but it sounded like a sob.
“Well, honestly, one trust fund kid to another, I thought you were a massive snob.”
The confession dragged a laugh out of Kenny.
“I get that a lot. Which probably means it’s true,” she said and was gratified when her dry comment surprised another, happier, laugh from Tina. “Goodbye, Tina. Please give the babies hugs from me.”
Tina looked like she was about to cry and Kenny really couldn’t handle that. Not right now. She gave her soon-to-be ex-sister-in-law a small smile and left the porch as quickly as her toe would allow.
“The soonest they can get a driver out to me is tomorrow morning,” Kenny told Smith when he finally came inside half an hour later. He and Tina had spent that entire time talking on the patio.
The conversation had been muffled, their tones subdued, and Kenny had deliberately sought to tune them out, not wanting to eavesdrop on whatever they were talking about.
She was almost certain it was about her, and she really wasn’t in the mood to hear any more of Smith’s negative opinions about her.
He didn’t say anything in response to her words and strode to the kitchen to grab some water from the fridge.
“I know it’s an inconvenience, but I hope it’s okay if I stay another night?”
He turned to face her, leaned against the fridge and took a thirsty drink from the water bottle, not breaking eye contact until he was done.
“Do I have a choice?” He swiped the back of his forearm over his mouth and capped the bottle again.
“You always have a choice,” she whispered.
“None that don’t make me look like a massive dickhead.”
“Maybe Tina wouldn’t mind if…”
“Stay the fuck away from my sister!” The viciousness in the snarled words took her aback and she recoiled in shock.
“What?”
“You don’t get to make the effort now. Here. At the end of everything. What would be the point of that? Stay away from my family. I won’t allow you to fuck them up too.”
There was only so much venom a person could withstand before it overwhelmed their system and for Kenny, this was the lethal dose.
She struggled to her feet, ignoring his instinctive reach toward her.
“You’ve made it clear that you think I’m an awful person. Cold. Unfeeling. Lacking in both substance and emotion. That about cover it?” she asked, swaying a little beneath the weight of exhaustion and pain.
“You never let me in,” he repeated. “Yesterday was the first time I ever really felt like you needed me.”
“I’m so sorry I’m not some damsel in distress who can’t tie her shoelaces without needing your help.”
“I never wanted a fucking damsel, Kenna!” he snapped. “You’re always so capable. I felt superfluous. Like I served no real purpose in your life. You wouldn’t even tell me about your day when you came home. Even when you were clearly upset about something, you never talked to me about it.”
“I didn’t want to bring my work into our home.”
“So you chose what? Sterile silence instead? We never spoke about anything meaningful. Even losing our baby didn’t warrant any kind of discussion.” She swayed again and he swore. “Christ, Kenna, sit down before you fall over.”
She ignored him, leaning on her cane for dear life.
“I know that in coming here I’ve pretty much given you permission to shit all over me,” she said, voice wobbling.
“I’m here to choke down all of that delicious humble pie, after all.
Here to apologize. Take the blame for everything.
Beg you to forgive me and take me back. So fucking sorry I couldn’t be the wife you wanted me to be, Smith.
Sorry I internalized everything instead of sharing it with a man who never gave me any indication that he felt anything more for me than fondness and sexual attraction. ”
“Bullsh—”