Chapter 26
Chapter
Twenty-Six
The words were delivered with such aching tenderness it just about turned every one of her organs to mush.
“Smith, what are you doing?” Kenny moaned a little despairingly.
“I’m getting my wife back,” he informed her with a serious nod.
“We’re really terrible at being together,” she said in half-hearted protest.
“We’re even worse at being apart. While I was up on that stupid mountain, I recognized that even when I’m in a place so still, so peaceful and beautiful, you’re always there.
You’re the stillness in my soul, Kenna. The peace in my heart, the beauty in my mind.
You’re the joy in my life. And I carry you with me everywhere I go.
It just took me a minute to cut through the noise and find my fundamental truth. ”
Tears spilled from her eyes and streaked down her cheeks.
He slid to his knees in front of her to thumb away those tears.
“No, my love, don’t cry.” His hands cradled her face and she dropped her forehead to his.
“I don’t know how to believe you. To believe in this. I’m still the same woman I was before coming to Riversend. The same woman you once said was impossible to love.”
He inhaled sharply at her words, his face spasming with grief and regret.
“Kenna,” he began, his voice rough. “I was angry when I said that. You know that. But I’m so goddamned sorry.
I wish—God, with everything in me I wish I’d never said those words.
Even as I said them I knew that they were unforgivable.
And I know standing here now begging you to forgive them is a tough ask.
But I wish…” His voice broke and his eyes shimmered.
“With my whole, goddamned, useless heart, I wish you would forgive me for that lie. Because that’s what it was, Kenna. It was an ugly, cruel lie.”
He must have seen her hesitation, wariness, and doubt because the panicked sound he made was similar to a wounded animal’s.
“You’re not impossible to love. Far from it. You own me. Heart and soul. You have since the moment I first laid eyes on you. Loving you is all I know how to do. It’s as essential and instinctive to me as breathing. I don’t…I don’t know how to function without you.”
“You managed just fine when you left me,” she reminded, feeling herself softening, but knowing that if she caved or accepted everything he said without question and this all fell apart again, she would have nobody to blame but herself. She needed to know that this was real.
“I didn’t manage fine when I left you,” he said with an incredulous, pained laugh that was devoid of anything resembling humor. “I was like a wounded animal. I don’t know how I managed the drive to Riversend safely. But when I got there…”
He shook his head, eyes tormented.
“I don’t even remember the first week. I was a wreck.
” This time his eyes welled with remembered pain and his shook his head, dislodging a streak of moisture that slid down his cheek and disappeared into his beard.
“I dragged myself to Harris and Tina’s place, sat down on their sofa, and didn’t get up again for a week. ”
“What?” Her whisper was hushed, disbelieving. “I don’t understand.”
“Kenna, I stayed in our marriage as long as I did because I wanted so desperately to be with you. Only I wasn’t with you.
We were living separate lives, having terrible sex a few times a month, barely speaking…
When you started going on trips without even telling me you were leaving, I recognized that we—I—couldn’t continue on like that.
“Then you came to me and spoke about having another baby when we never laughed, rarely touched, hardly spoke I couldn’t live like that.
Not with you. It destroyed a little piece of my soul every day, being so close to you and never knowing you.
So I left. And it fucking nearly killed me to do it.
I didn’t speak for a week, didn’t shower, barely ate…
I didn’t manage just fine without you, Kenna.
I was fucking broken. I was only barely starting to function again when you came to town. ”
“Oh, my God, Smith. I didn’t…I didn’t know,” she whispered, her face wet with tears. “I’m so sorry.”
“Loving you is simultaneously the best and worst thing that has ever happened to me, Kenna. But after our time in Riversend, I know that the best far, far outweighs the bad. And if you’ll have me, I know that I can make you happy.”
“I love you too, Smith. So much. But I need to know that it’s me you want. Not some idealized, perfect version of me that you’ve created in my likeness.”
“Oh, Kenna, the woman I love is far from perfect. A little aloof, sometimes distant, and she can stare right through you when she’s preoccupied with work.
She’s also kind, sweet, and has a fantastic, quirky sense of humor.
She’s sensitive, vulnerable, a little fragile.
She can have a short fuse, is a kleptomaniac, and a below average driver. ”
“I’m not a below average driver,” she protested weakly and he smiled gently.
“Kenna, my darling, I love you.” The words flowed from his lips so naturally and so easily that it was hard not to believe them. “But there are some things we’ll simply never agree on.”
“I love you too,” she finally whispered and the smile that lit up his face could have rivalled the sun in its brilliance.
“Smith…” she began hesitantly. “About the baby.”
He stilled and reluctantly moved away from her, taking one of her hands as he sat down beside her on the couch.
“I wanted him so much. But when I lost him, I thought I lost you too. I just don’t want you to ever believe that I didn’t love him. Or I didn’t mourn him.” He wrapped his arms around her and held her close.
“Shh, Kenna. I know that,” he whispered. “I know you did. I’m sorry I made you feel like I doubted that.”
“I just found it so hard to allow myself to lean on you afterward,” she confessed, swiping a hand over her wet cheeks. “Because I thought that you would leave.”
“I knew what you thought,” he interrupted grimly.
“I knew from the beginning. And you were wrong. But it was easier to go along with your misconceptions, because I knew you’d balk if I tried to convince you of the real reason behind my proposal.
I just thought that I’d have plenty of time to ease you into the truth. ”
“The truth?”
He sighed softly, and reached into his breast pocket again, where she knew her rings were.
He pulled out the engagement ring and clasped it between his thumb and ring finger and held it up in front of them.
“The truth is the night we first met, after we’d made such perfect love and I left you asleep in your apartment, I went home, pulled out Nana Pat’s jewelry box and picked this ring out for you.”
She gasped in wonder and her eyes flew to his in disbelief, alight with equal amounts of hope and doubt.
“Marrying you was always the plan, Kenna. In my mind, your pregnancy merely accelerated the timeline. In yours, it spelled the beginning of the end. Trust me when I say that if I’d known that, I would have made it very clear from the beginning—whether it panicked you or not—that I was in it for the long haul because I fucking adore you. ”
A smile of wonderment lit up her face, sparking in her eyes before tugging at the corners of her mouth.
“Smith,” she breathed, her lips parting as she gazed up into his eyes.
“Kenna,” he whispered as his lips descended to hers in a hot, sweet kiss.
Her arms were around his neck in seconds and he tugged her into his lap, his hands slipping over the smooth, cool fabric of her dress to find the silky warm flesh beneath.
“I’m filthy,” he muttered, while pressing open-mouthed kisses in her neck. “I’m going to mess up this gorgeous dress.”
Kenny, shook her head, and dragged one of his capable hands up to the neckline of her dress.
“Not if we take it off, you won’t,” she said, and he made a choked, growling sound of eager agreement.
Kenny pushed herself up onto wobbly feet. She wasn’t wearing her cast today and had instead opted for ballet flats.
“What are you doing?” he asked in confusion and she smiled at him, wrinkling her nose mischievously.
“Lock the door,” she told him.
Smith turned away to do as Kenna had requested, his movements sluggish as he stumbled to the door to rotate the key in the lock. When he turned to face her again, his jaw dropped to the floor in the exact same instant that his cock saluted the ceiling.
She was naked stark but for a string of delicate, creamy pearls that were draped between her breasts. She was sitting on the large mahogany desk, her slender thighs primly crossed, and her hands braced behind her in a way that made her perky tits thrust up even higher.
Smith tried to swallow, but found his throat instantly parched.
“Jesus,” he murmured, the word a benediction.
She smiled.
The small movement of her lips proved simultaneously enigmatic, welcoming, and very fucking sexy. As always, everything about his wife was a study of contrasts.
Was it any wonder he loved her?
“Are you going to stand there gawking all night, Smith Jenson?” she purred. “Or are you going to make love to me?”
Oh, the latter.
Very much the latter.
He stumbled toward her, folded her into his arms, and kissed her.
When she finally remembered her family forty minutes later, Kenny nearly died of embarrassment.
“They’ll absolutely know what we’ve been doing in here,” she whispered in horror.
“You barely screamed, Kenna,” he whispered back with a smug smile at the corners of his lips.
“Oh my God.”
He laughed.
“They didn’t hear anything,” he placated. “The walls are soundproof.”
“They are?”
“Mmhmm. I conduct a lot of business in here. It felt expedient.”
“Oh, thank God,” she murmured. The both snuck upstairs to clean up and when Kenny finally rejoined her family a while later, they were all out on the patio, having drinks and eating cake.
An expectant hush fell over them when Kenny sat down on the patio sofa next to Fern.
She leaned over and helped herself to a slice of cake and glass of bubbly.
“You were gone a while,” Gideon observed neutrally.
“You okay?” Cade asked.
“Leave the lass alone,” her father commanded. “Let her eat her damned caked in peace.”
She smiled gratefully at her dad before silently going back to her cake.
“Well? Did you kick him to the curb?” Nox asked, after a brief silence, licking some chocolate frosting off his fingers.
“Nope, still here,” Smith announced as he strode out onto the patio with a cocky gait. He’d showered, shaved, and was barefoot and wearing a fresh pair of jeans and his Archie and the Gang T-shirt.
He helped himself to some cake and sat down on one of the chairs, man-spreading obnoxiously in a pointed and unmistakable gesture of ownership.
He nodded at her father showing at least a token amount of respect.
“Happy birthday, James.”
Her father eyed him shrewdly, taking in the lack of shoes and the studied relaxation in his posture.
“I take it you two have worked things out then?”
“We have,” Smith nodded, not taking his eyes off of Kenny’s face. She had a hard time suppressing her happy smile and so stopped trying entirely and just beamed at him.
Her father’s eyes drifted to her face, saw her smile, and softened in affection.
“Ah fuck, so we’re never getting rid of you?” Nox asked without any real heat.
Smith shook his head.
“Never,” he affirmed, his eyes steady and voice assertive. “I’m here to stay.”