Chapter 21
The stars sparkle on the serene waters and a breeze blows loose strands of my hair off my face.
I tip my head back, closing my eyes and letting out a contented sigh.
I’m soaking in the quiet night for the first time since we got here two days ago, and after today’s spa day, I could use a break from my sisters.
Elise is keeping me company, but Charlie is blowing up her phone so much with lovesick messages about how much he misses her that we’ve barely been able to talk. I smile at her as she walks back toward the white chaise lounge chair next to mine and flops into it.
“Men,” she says with a sigh. “You’d think he was on this trip by himself with how he’s acting.”
“Is this the longest six hours of his life?”
Her phone pings with an alert and she tips her head back and lets out a groan. “It must be. He’s not usually so clingy.”
“Bachelor parties do something to men.”
“Yeah, usually the exact opposite.” Her ringtone starts playing again and she picks up the phone. “Aren’t you supposed to be bro-ing out or playing wingman for your single groomsmen or something?”
I giggle, lifting my wine glass to my lips. Now my own phone pings with an alert.
Reid: Hve I told you how grogeous you look tonihgt
I look around the terrace, half expecting to find Reid leaning in the doorway with his usual smug grin that warms my chest. Instead, I see the terracotta-tiled patio behind us empty, the light from the living room spilling out of the wide-open dark double doors.
I turn back around with a frown and start typing.
Jane: How would you know how I look tonight?
Reid: I’m just asumming
Reid: You always look grogeous
Reid: Like ridiculusly grogeous
Ignoring the butterflies in my stomach—and the plethora of typos so bad even autocorrect couldn’t fix them—I type back a response.
Jane: Exactly how much have you had to drink tonight?
Reid: Who says I’m drink
Jane: I’m just assuming
Now my phone is the one ringing. I look from the screen with Reid’s name flashing across it to stare at Elise in disbelief. “What is happening with these men?”
Elise shrugs, her own phone still pressed to her ear for her thousandth call with my brother. I swipe the answer button. “Hello?”
“Jane, I can’t find you.” Reid’s words and slightly slurred and I can tell despite all his moderate efforts to convince me otherwise that he’s drunk.
“What do you mean?”
“I’ve been searching everywhere.”
“I’m . . . I’m at the villa, Reid. The same place you’re staying at.”
“I can’t find it.”
I can feel the confused expression on my face, even if he’s not here to see it. “Aren’t you with the rest of the boys?”
“No, I left to find you.”
I pause. “Why did you do that?”
“Because I missed you.”
“I . . .” I cut myself off, a small smile touching my lips as the words sink in. “That’s really sweet, Reid. Incredibly stupid, but also really sweet.”
“I told you I could be sweet.” Before I can say anything else, he lets out a very long, dramatic breath. “Please come rescue me.”
If I drag him away from the bachelor party, Kate will kill me. She’ll find a way to blame me for Jason’s best man ditching, and being in the same villa all week is the only motivation I need to stay on her good side. I mean, on top of every other motivation I have too, of course.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Reid. You’re supposed to be celebrating Jason.”
“I can’t find Jason and he’s not answering his phone. Please?”
You know what, that’s a good enough reason for me. And the adorable way he says please, all drawn out like a child begging for ice cream before dinner? Adorable. I couldn’t possibly say no.
I sigh. “Is there any chance you can tell me where you are?”
He’s silent for a moment, and I picture him looking around, trying to find some kind of location marker for me. “I’m by a door.”
“Okay, so no. Oh, wait.” I pull the phone from my ear and tap the “Find my Friends” app. Sure enough, a pin with Reid’s name pops up. “I still have your location.”
“From what? I have no memory of giving you that,” he muses.
“I don’t imagine you’ll have much memory right now at all.
” The map comes up and gives directions between me and Reid.
He is somehow less than a ten minute walk from our villa, which blessedly has lighted walking paths.
I get to my feet, my phone still pressed to my ear.
Elise looks up at me. “Don’t move. I’ll come get you and walk you back. ”
Thankfully, he gave up his own search for our villa a mere four streets away.
I’ve only been walking a few minutes when I find him perched on a stone ledge outside another house.
His dark hair is mussed and the top two buttons of his cotton blue button up are undone, showing off a tanned and toned chest. He’s dangling his feet like a little kid waiting for the bus.
I burst out laughing when I see him. His head snaps in my direction and an easy, lopsided smile graces his lips.
He flings his arms to the side. “Jane, you found me!”
“Again, I have your location.”
He jumps off the ledge and clumsily strolls up to me, doing his best to ooze his usual confidence. Instead, he just looks like a happy boy, carefree and enjoying a summer night. He throws his arms around me in a tight hug.
“I missed you.”
I, of course, hug him back, breathing in his scent and soaking in the moment. “I literally saw you yesterday.”
He tightens his arms around me. “Yeah but that was yesterday. This is now. Plus, you got all weird when Jessica came over. So I’ve been worrying that you hate me now.”
The idea that he could even consider me hating him hurts my heart a little bit.
“Reid, I could never hate you,” I murmur against his chest.
He releases me from the hug and steps back. He tries to give me a confrontational look, but his eyes are so glassy that it’s more comical than anything. “You avoided me this morning.”
“I did not.”
“You did. You avoided me before you left for your spa day and it made me really sad, because all I wanted before I went off today was to see you and give you a hug and an espresso because I know how much you love them. But you avoided me.”
“I—” I start to deny it, then stop myself.
Okay, I did. I stayed in my room until I was sure the boys were gone for breakfast so I didn’t have to see him.
I figured a night of rest would help me come to a decision about whether or not to close myself off to him.
It didn’t do anything. In fact, I barely slept at all because of it.
Then I figured maybe seeing him would lead to a gut feeling of what to do. But even just hearing his voice had me pacing my room and weighing the pros and the cons.
Pros: he’s sweet, he’s funny, he’s hot, he can cook,
Cons: former womanizer, it would make Kate mad, he has the power to shatter my heart.
In reality the pros should’ve outweighed it all, but they didn’t. So I hid. But now he calls and I come running? Maybe my gut is trying to convince me of something after all.
I brush aside the thoughts and loosen my hold on his waist. It takes Reid a good five seconds to process that I let go, but then he releases me from his hug as well and the air suddenly feels ten degrees colder.
“I’m sorry. I promise not to avoid you ever again,” I tell him.
His smile grows wider, somehow making my heart swell. “Good. Because good relationships need healthy communication. So we must talk about our feelings.”
He looks slightly dazed. I know he won’t remember this tomorrow.
If he does, it’ll be in bits and pieces.
And the idea of that is oddly giving me enough confidence to ask.
Especially because drunk words are sober thoughts, right?
His guard is down. I can have this talk without the fear of rejection.
“Are we in a relationship in your mind?”
“Didn’t we talk about this on the plane?”
“You mean in the bathroom when I was in my underwear and your shirt?”
A lopsided smile brightens his sleepy face. “Best day of my life.”
“I had just gotten thrown up in, so not really the best day of mine.”
“Did the kiss not improve your day?”
“Reid. Focus.”
He throws his head back and lets out the most dramatic sigh I’ve ever heard from a man. I arch an eyebrow, stifling a laugh. He rights himself, putting both hands on my shoulders and locking tired eyes with mine.
“I want to be in a relationship. With you. But you keep sending me mixed messages. And now I’m confused.
And I’m scared you’ll tell me you don’t want to be with me.
That’s only happened to me once before, but I think hearing it from you would break me way worse.
Into a hundred thousand pieces. So I’m scared. ”
“I’m scared too,” I admit to him.
“Of what?”
“Of you deciding I’m not good enough for you.”
“Jane, you are the best for me. I’ve never met someone who feels so perfect for me.”
I’m about to ask more, I want to tell him about Kate and Lydia, about what they said to me about him, but he lets out a yawn and I realize how exhausted he must be. I can’t corner him out here anymore. It’s probably better we talk about this sober anyway.
“Let’s pick this back up tomorrow,” I suggest, stepping out of his hands and continuing my trek back to the villa. I need to get him back to his own room where he can hopefully sleep this off.
“Absolutely.”
I only make it two steps before he grabs my hand and interlaces his fingers with mine.
I freeze for a moment, glancing down at our hands, then back up to him.
But he’s still walking like it’s totally normal.
His gaze is ahead, his steps are sure, his grip is firm.
There’s a strong chance he doesn’t even remember this tomorrow, so with a shrug, I let go of my worries and hold his hand the entire walk back to the villa.
Somewhere along the way, I realize I could do this every day, every time I walk somewhere with him.
I don’t want to walk anywhere without him.
And that thought is terrifying.
I am in love with Reid Matthews. Hopelessly. Desperately. Madly in love with him.
And that realization is even more terrifying.