Chapter 12 #2
Our confessions hung in the air between us.
His gray eyes searched mine, as if looking for any sign I might be joking or exaggerating.
But for once, I dropped the jokes and flirty bullshit.
I let him see the depths of my feelings.
It was terrifying. My stomach wasn’t fluttering with butterflies; it was a war zone of angry pterodactyls engaged in aerial combat.
“What happens now?” Ryker asked in an unsteady voice.
I ran my thumb along the back of his hand. “We find out what happens next.”
The words hung between us before something inside me broke. Three years of longing, of playing it cool, of pretending my heart didn’t race every time he walked into a room, all collapsed under the weight of the realization that I had a chance at everything I ever wanted.
I reached for him, one hand sliding to cradle his neck as I pulled him closer.
The world tilted when our lips met. It wasn’t the desperate hunger like our other kisses but a statement.
A slow, gentle claiming that said more than his disastrous doorknob speech ever could.
I answered him with the same tenderness, pouring years of silent longing into the kiss.
Ryker made a soft sound against my lips, his fingers curling into the fabric of my shirt. He kissed me back with equal tenderness, his usual hesitation nowhere to be found.
When we broke apart, I kept him close, our foreheads pressed together. His gray eyes were wide open, searching mine with wonder.
“I’ve wanted this since you strolled into the classroom on day one of freshman year, rocking that ‘Bach That Ass Up’ T-shirt.”
A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. “I figured my ‘I Excel at Fingering’ guitar one would have been a tad too aggressive for a first impression.” Even now, he couldn’t resist a quip, but I could hear the genuine warmth beneath it.
My hands tugged his henley upward with deliberate slowness.
He lifted his arms to assist, and I tossed it aside, taking a moment to appreciate the view.
He was lean and wiry, all subtle lines and warm skin, with a happy trail of dark hair that disappeared into his waistband.
He wasn’t built like a cover model, and I wouldn’t have changed a single thing.
He was just Ryker. Everything was perfect.
“Your turn,” he said, his voice unsteady as he pulled off my shirt.
I guided him backward until he was lying on the bed, then followed him down, showering kisses on his neck, his collarbone, and the center of his chest. Each touch was reverent and unhurried. I wanted to memorize every freckle and scar.
“Harley,” he breathed, his fingers threading through my hair as I ventured lower, trailing kisses down his stomach.
I glanced up to find him watching me, his expression a mix of nervousness and desire. The vulnerability in his eyes made my chest ache.
“You’re beautiful,” I told him, meaning it more than I’d ever meant anything.
His cheeks flushed. “You don’t have to say that.”
“I know.” I placed another kiss above the waistband of his jeans. “But I want to.”
I took my time undoing the button and zipper, sliding them down his legs along with his boxers. He kicked them off, then reached for the button on my pants. His fingers fumbled, betraying his nerves, but I stayed patient, letting him set the pace.
When we were both naked, I moved back up his body, settling beside him rather than on top of him. I didn’t want him to feel trapped or overwhelmed. My hand slid down his side, over his hip, and along his thigh. “Is this okay?”
His throat worked as he swallowed. “Yeah. It’s…yeah.”
I smiled, leaning in to kiss him again as I continued my exploration. Eventually, my fingers drifted lower, dipping between his thighs to brush over his entrance.
Ryker tensed, making a small noise of uncertainty against my lips.
I pulled back, moving my hand to rest on his hip instead. “Sorry, force of habit,” I apologized, pressing a reassuring kiss to his forehead. “We don’t have to do anything you’re not ready for.”
“I’m not—” He took a shaky breath. “I’m sorry, I’m not sure if I’m ready for that yet.”
“That’s okay. There’s no rush, snookums. We have all the time in the world.”
His tension eased at the silly nickname, a small smile tugging at his lips. “I’m looking at that thing,” he said, gesturing toward my lower half, “and I’m pretty sure it violates the building code for my particular entrance.”
Laughter burst out of me. “Don’t worry, I’ll wear a hard hat.”
“I’m trying to be serious here! I feel like a keyhole staring down a battering ram and wondering about my life choices. While I appreciate your optimism, I’m seriously questioning your spatial awareness if you think your monster cock will fit inside my tiny virgin hole. Stop laughing!”
I cracked up again, making him scowl. “Hey, if you didn’t want me to laugh this hard, try being less funny.”
“I feel like I’m about to be violated by a zucchini with a God complex. That thing’s a fucking pool noodle that developed sentience and a mean streak. It’s not a penis; it’s a traffic cone with ambitions!”
I was howling with laughter. “What does that even mean?”
“Big meat. Small cave. Math bad.”
Tears of mirth gathered at the corners of my eyes that I had to wipe away. “Okay, okay, okay. Take a breath.”
“Breathe? Breathe? You’re about to turn me into a human shish kebab with that thing, and you want me to focus on breathing techniques?
” Ryker demanded, his voice jumping an octave.
“How am I supposed to breathe when you’re planning to rearrange my internal organs with that anaconda?
My lungs can’t function when they’re being relocated to my throat! And you expect me to fucking breathe?”
My body shook with laughter until I was gasping for air. “Stop! I can’t reassure you when you’re making me laugh too hard!”
The stubborn set of Ryker’s jaw did nothing to lessen my amusement as he crossed his arms over his chest.
I took a shuddering breath, almost crying from how hard I was laughing. “Give me a second. Hold on.” He gave me a moment to compose myself. “One, thank you for the best ego stroking I’ve ever had in my life.”
“That was your takeaway from what I said?” Ryker asked indignantly.
I held up a hand to silence him. “Two, I understand your concerns.”
“Has anyone ever tried to shove the dick equivalent of a soda can up your ass and call it pleasurable?”
I snorted at the question. “As a matter of fact, yes. And I enjoyed it a great deal. But that’s not the point.” I stroked his hair to calm him.
“Not all of our asses can comfortably defy the laws of physics,” he muttered, swatting at my shoulder.
My tone grew more serious. “I’m well aware I’m packing a python in my pants.
Your hesitation is the correct biological response to a predator.
But trust me, it would fit. With enough preparation and patience, it would be fine.
Pleasurable, even.” I stroked his cheek.
“But that doesn’t mean we have to try. Not tonight, not ever, if you don’t want to. ”
Ryker’s expression turned curious. “How does it work, exactly? I know the basics, but I’m out of my depth here.”
“Well, it’s all about preparation. Lots of lube, lots of patience.
You start small. One finger, then two, working up to it gradually.
” I kept my tone educational rather than seductive.
“The key is relaxation. If you’re tense, it’s going to hurt.
But if you’re relaxed and aroused, it can feel amazing. ”
He absorbed the information with the same concentration he applied to studying for exams. “But what if I’m never ready for that? What then? You’re such a top, and I don’t know if I’m bottom material.”
I bit my lower lip to hold in another chuckle. “Ryker, I don’t care about strict roles. I enjoy anything related to pleasure that involves you.”
“Really?” His eyes were so wide and hopeful. It was precious.
“There are so many ways we can explore being together at whatever pace you want. And if there are things you never want to try, including being on the receiving end of penetrative sex, that’s fine.”
Relief washed over his features. “Thanks for being so understanding. You probably think I’m being ridiculous.”
“No, I understand why you assume I need a license to handle this lethal weapon,” I teased as I ran my fingers along the length of my sizable cock. “Hold that thought.”
“I’d rather not. I might shoot my eye out with that magnum you’re packing.”
I snickered as I got up to go over to my overnight bag to grab supplies.
“Where are you going?” Ryker asked, his expression shifting from amusement to mild concern.
I rummaged through my belongings until I found a small bottle of lube and a condom. When I turned around, Ryker’s eyes widened, his gaze darting between my face and the items in my hand.
“What are those for?” he asked, though the flush creeping up his neck suggested he had a pretty good idea.
I returned to his side, setting the supplies on the sheets. “I want to show you something,” I said, my voice dropping to a more intimate register. “A different approach.”
Ryker watched me with confusion etched across his features as I lay back on the bed. “What are you doing?”
“Respecting your concerns about spatial relationships.” I uncapped the lube. “And showing you there’s more than one way to enjoy each other.”
I coated my fingers, maintaining eye contact with Ryker as understanding dawned on him.
“Wait, you mean—”
“Exactly.” I shifted into a more comfortable position, spreading my legs to give him a clear view as I prepared myself. “I’m going to show you how this works from the other perspective.”
He moved to watch the performance I intended to put on for him. His mouth fell open as he watched me slide one finger inside myself. The sensation was familiar but heightened by Ryker’s rapt attention.