Chapter 16 #2
“With Maylin, who knows?” I pulled Ryker closer. “Bloodbaths, yak herding, hot dog thievery? Your past lives have been quite the adventure, snookums.”
“Our past lives,” he corrected. “Apparently, we’ve been doing this dance for centuries.”
“And I’d do it for centuries more.” The words slipped out before I could stop them.
Instead of tensing up or pulling away, Ryker smiled and kissed me. “Same.”
Sawyer and Gia cooed at us, making him huff.
After another lull of silence as we enjoyed our drinks, Ryker spoke up again. “What if we were all Greek gods in a past life? Who would we be?”
I grinned at his unexpected contribution. “Greek gods? Now, you’re getting into the spirit!”
“Oh, this is good.” Sawyer’s tone was downright gleeful. “I love this kind of stuff.”
“I call dibs on Apollo,” I announced, raising my glass. “God of the sun, music, and looking damn good. It’s as if the ancient Greeks created him with me in mind.”
Gia snorted into her drink. “That’s not Apollo, that’s Narcissus.”
“Ouch,” I clutched my chest in theatrical agony. “Wounded by the goddess herself!”
“Actually,” Sawyer interjected, swirling her whiskey thoughtfully, “I think you’re more Dionysus than Apollo.”
I cocked an eyebrow. “The wine guy?”
“The god of wine, yes, but also revelry, ritual madness, and partying,” Sawyer explained. “He was a trickster who thrived on chaos. Sound familiar?”
“I do enjoy a fun party,” I conceded. “And causing chaos is definitely on my résumé.”
Gia gave me a pointed look. “Plus, he was notorious for his sexual appeal and seducing everyone in his path.”
“Okay, you’ve convinced me. Dionysus it is. I accept this divine appointment vow to uphold my duties with all the debauchery they entail.”
Ryker studied me with curiosity. “Why are you so familiar with Greek mythology? I know a lot because Sawyer went through an obsession phase in high school, but this seems a bit out of character for you.”
“Do you want the actual answer or the joke one?” I asked, flashing a wicked grin.
“Real, please,” Ryker requested.
I gave in to my urge to tease him. “Are you sure? The joke answer is pretty damn funny.”
“Truth,” he insisted.
“I had a crush on a guy in high school who was obsessed with mythology. I learned about it to hit on him more effectively.”
Ryker facepalmed, while Sawyer and Gia snickered. “Of course you’d learn about it to seduce someone. I should have known. How did I not see that coming?”
“Did it work?” Gia asked.
I gave my most charming smile. “Naturally. We role-played as various gods from the pantheon. It was downright divine.”
Ryker got us back on track. “What about me?”
I studied him for a moment. It was cute how the steam from the hot tub made his dark hair curl at the edges. “Hmm, you’re definitely Ares.”
“The war god?” Ryker frowned. “But I’m not violent.”
“No, but you’re passionate and impulsive as hell,” I elaborated, tracing a finger along his shoulder. “You jump into things without thinking them through, like asking your best friend to be your fake boyfriend without considering the consequences.”
Sawyer nodded. “And Ares always got himself into trouble because he acted on emotion rather than strategy.”
“Let’s not forget the Great Road Rage Incident last year when that SUV cut you off and then brake-checked you. I’ve never heard such creative combinations of profanity. I think you single-handedly expanded the swearing dictionary that day. Ares would be proud.”
“And what about every time I start beating you in Monopoly and you flip from chill to competitive in 0.5 seconds to declare war, complete with a detailed revenge plan?” Sawyer snickered. “That’s peak Ares energy.”
“Okay, I get it,” Ryker grumbled, a reluctant smile tugging at his lips. “I’m emotionally reactive.”
“But also fiercely loyal,” I added. “Ares would burn down Olympus for the people he cared about. Just like you.”
Sawyer’s eyes sparkled with anticipation. “What about me?”
“Athena,” Ryker, Gia, and I replied in perfect unison, then cackled at the obvious answer.
“The goddess of wisdom?” She held her glass up in a silent toast. “I graciously accept this tribute.”
“More like the goddess of being a know-it-all,” Ryker teased.
“And strategy,” I interjected. “You’re always three steps ahead of everyone else. Remember when you orchestrated that elaborate prank on your TA in college?”
“That was art,” Sawyer declared.
“It was diabolical,” Ryker corrected. “You spent two months laying the groundwork.”
She shrugged. “How else was I supposed to get my crush to notice me? Being a pain in the ass was the fastest way to get attention.”
“That aside, Athena wasn’t just wise, though. She was quick-witted and loved outsmarting others,” Gia pointed out, wrapping her arm around Sawyer’s shoulders and giving them a squeeze. “The same way you enjoy teasing your brother mercilessly.”
“It’s one of my greatest joys in life,” Sawyer agreed, raising her glass to Ryker with a smirk.
“And what about you, Gia?” I asked, turning to her.
She shook her head. “I don’t know. Mythology was never my thing.”
“Artemis,” Sawyer said without hesitation. “Goddess of the hunt, the wilderness, and the moon.”
“And why is that?” Gia asked.
“Well, for starters, she’s the butch-coded goddess of the pantheon. Independent, fierce, and with zero interest in men’s bullshit.”
Gia snorted. “That tracks.”
“She’s also associated with the arts and nature, which is fitting since you’re an artist,” I said.
Ryker jumped in. “Plus, she’s protective. Remember when that guy was harassing Sawyer at the gallery opening and you stepped in?”
“He deserved it for being a dick,” Gia defended herself.
“And you shut him down with a single glare,” I reminded her. “Very goddess-like.”
Sawyer perked up. “Artemis is also tied to sapphic energy in modern interpretations.”
“Okay, I can work with that,” Gia decided, raising her glass for another toast. “To the Greek pantheon reborn in a hot tub in suburban America!”
We all clinked our glasses and took a sip. The whiskey sent a pleasant fire through me, but it paled in comparison to the heat of Ryker’s body pressed against mine.
“Speaking of Greek gods,” Gia said, leaning back in the water, “I can’t help but wonder who Baxter would be?”
I snapped my fingers. “Adonis, obviously. The whole ‘embodiment of male beauty’ thing fits his aesthetic.”
“Technically, Adonis wasn’t a god,” Sawyer corrected. “He was a mortal who caught Aphrodite’s eye. His name just became synonymous with male beauty.”
I held up my hands in surrender. “Fine, Miss Mythology Expert. Then I nominate Eros, the god of sexual desire and attraction. Mr. Tantric Sex Energy himself.”
Ryker groaned and splashed water at me. “Can we not discuss Baxter’s sexual energy while we’re all half-naked in a hot tub?”
“I think he radiates major Zeus energy,” Sawyer declared. “King of the gods, dramatic as hell, and always on the lookout for new sexual conquests.”
I cracked up when a thought occurred to me. “Oh my god, that makes Maylin his Hera! That’s perfect!”
“Because she was Zeus’s wife?” Ryker asked.
“Not just that. She was notoriously jealous and vengeful toward all of Zeus’s lovers,” I explained. “She’d exact elaborate revenge against his mistresses and illegitimate children.”
“Which aligns perfectly with Maylin’s claims about committing murder in past lives,” Gia pointed out.
Sawyer swirled her drink thoughtfully. “If Zeus was known for always chasing new lovers, and Baxter is perpetually seeking a ‘cosmic third’ spirit…”
“What happens when he finds a third who isn’t Ryker?” Gia finished.
“Mayhem,” I predicted. “Literal Greek tragedy-level mayhem.”
Ryker shook his head. “What kind of person would even want to be their third? You’d have to be either desperate or completely unhinged from reality.”
“Or someone equally obsessed with past lives,” Sawyer suggested. “Picture Baxter dressed as Alexander the Great, on location in Greece for one of his photo shoots, and he encounters some unsuspecting tourist he decides is his reincarnated Hephaestion.”
“And then Baxter convinces this poor guy he’s the reborn soul of Alexander’s famous lover,” Gia added with dramatic flair. “Next thing you know, they’re doing couples boudoir shoots at ancient ruins while Baxter waxes poetic about their ‘cosmic connection’ from twenty-three hundred years ago.”
I snorted. “Can you imagine Maylin’s reaction? ‘But our souls were intertwined across eternal lifetimes! We were literally Cleopatra and Marc Antony three centuries after Alexander! The cosmic timeline doesn’t lie!’”
Sawyer snickered. “If they ever break up, I’d love to see the petty social media post war Baxter starts with Maylin. I bet he’d throw in hashtags like #ReincarnationRedFlags, #SpirituallySwipingLeft, #AstrologyMadeUsDoIt, and #NamaStayAway.”
I applauded her genius. “You’re so good at that, I almost want you to create a fake profile and fan their flame war.”
“Maylin would probably start researching ancient poisons from multiple eras,” Ryker said, surprising us all by joining in on the joke. “While posting passive-aggressive stories about how ‘true cosmic bonds can’t be broken by some random guy in cargo shorts at the Parthenon.’”
“Or crash their destination wedding dressed in full Greek mourning attire,” Gia added, “ready to remind everyone how Baxter’s Alexander conquered the known world, but he betrayed the sacred third member of their cosmic throuple.”
“With a slideshow presentation of all their past lives together as proof they’re meant to be,” I suggested, making everyone snicker.
Sawyer took it further. “Complete with her artistic renderings of their supposed tantric sex positions through the ages.”
Gia nearly choked on her drink from laughing. After a few coughs to catch her breath, she said, “Is it weird I’m actually rooting for Baxter to find someone who isn’t Maylin? I kind of want to follow him to see how this cosmic quest unfolds.”