25. Elizabeth
As I forced myself out of bed, I walked over to my dresser and settled onto the stool in front of the mirror. Looking at myself, I felt ashamed of my appearance. It was hard to believe that I had promised myself never to cry over a man again since my last breakup in high school.
To be fair, my high school relationship wasn’t really much of a relationship. I mean, everyone would understand my point.
This one with Will was different.
As I picked up wipes to clean my face, I looked at myself closely. The image of that woman with Will flashed through my mind, as it had been doing for the past three days, causing my heart to ache even further. I used the wipes to wipe away the tears from my face.
Of course, I had myself to blame. Had my mother not warned me never to trust men? After my high school breakup, she had advised me to prioritize my life and career, assuring me that everything else would fall into place.
What was I thinking? That Will was in love with me? Oh, what a fantasy.
I was so lost in my thoughts and fantasies that I failed to see it was all a facade—a mere contract, if I might say.
Never trust boys. All they do is break your heart. All you need to do is focus on your studies, graduate from university, and work toward securing a good job for yourself. Live your life, and enjoy the good things of life. At that point, the real men will look for you.
Those were my mother’s words of advice back then, and now they seemed to be applicable in this situation.
How stupid of you to think he actually liked you, Elizabeth. Men like Will don’t end up with women like yourself. They end up with women of their caliber. They end up with established women, women who are beautiful on all sides and can afford to buy their designer shoes and bags. Not women who can barely afford to maintain their lifestyle.
I told myself the truth, even though it hurt. I mean, he had made this a contract to start with, and I had gotten so lost in that world that I began to see it as my own. How foolish was I!
I guess the women at the party the other day were right. They had been kind enough to spill the truth, but I had been too deaf to listen. I wasn’t in their social class, and honestly, Will could have chosen someone more suitable, someone better than me.
But of course, who else would have agreed to such an offer if not a struggling lady like myself? Embarrassed of myself as I looked in the mirror, I bowed my head down as the tears began to flow out more. All the self-worth I had painstakingly built crumbled right before my eyes. The confidence I thought I had was also crumbling right in front of me.
As my walls went up, it seemed like the best thing to do was to bury myself in my own space, shutting out the world. One can only imagine the repercussions if what happened three days ago were to be revealed—that Will cheated on me. I was certain people would still support Will.
I could literally read the comments in my head.
Will finally realizes the kind of woman he wants.
Billionaire mogul ends things with his fiancée.
Certainly, all the women who had been waiting for this day to come would surely be pleased to see that it was finally over between us.
Letting out another breath, I pulled myself together, having cried enough. Crying was not going to solve anything. I had cried enough, and now it was time for me to think about what was next.
Of course, there was no way I was going to avoid Will forever. And even if I wanted to, I definitely could not avoid Lydia forever. She was my best friend and the only friend I had literally in this world.
I looked at my time and then decided to turn on my phone to call her. I dialed her number, and it was no surprise that she picked up on the first ring.
“Oh my god, Elizabeth! I have been trying to reach you for the longest! What’s going on?”
What’s going on?
That only meant that Will had yet to tell her about what had happened.
“Nothing is going on. I’m sorry my phone had issues, so I turned it off.” I lied, but of course, she didn’t buy it.
“Come on, don’t lie to me. Will has been going crazy trying to reach you. Did you guys have a fight? Hold on, I’m coming over to your place now. This is not a conversation we have over the phone.”
Right before I could protest or say a word, she had ended the call. Knowing Lydia, she was probably going to get here in the next ten to fifteen minutes.
Looking at myself, I hurriedly tried my best not to look like I felt. I rushed into the bathroom to freshen up and then cleaned up my house—not like there was much dirt, though.
I had not eaten much the past three days. I was grateful that I wasn’t one of those who found food as their coping mechanism. If not, you could be rest assured my house was going to be a mess.
Once I was done freshening up, I looked at myself in the mirror, but unfortunately, my eyes were still swollen. It was quite obvious that I had been crying for a long time.
Letting out a breath, I hurriedly put on some clothes, only to be met with a knock at the door. I already knew Lydia was going to be here swiftly, so I rushed over to open it up.
“Girl, where have you been?” Lydia exclaimed, immediately halting her statement when she saw me.
“Oh my god, what happened to you?”
“Nothing, I just overslept,” I lied as I locked the door behind her, avoiding her gaze.
“Elizabeth, can you quit lying to me and tell me what’s up? What’s the problem? You have been so distant! I came over to your place two days ago and yesterday, and I don’t even know if you were in or not. I have been calling you, but your phone has been switched off. Will has been worried sick, Liz. Please talk to me. What’s going on?”
I remained silent as her words pierced my heart, causing my heart to ache and the emotions to come back in full force. With my depths tightening and the lump heavily gathering up in my throat, I settled in on my couch as I allowed myself to pour out all I felt.
“Oh my god, Liz. What’s the issue?” Lydia asked, concerned, as she immediately came over to where I sat.
She settled in beside me, pulling me close and allowing me to cry on her shoulder. As I sat there in her warmth, I let myself be vulnerable with her, no longer running from or hiding my emotions. If I was going to heal, I needed to release everything. I couldn’t bury or ignore the pain I was feeling; I needed to let it all out once and for all and be done with it.
“It’s okay, let it all out. I’m here for you,” Lydia said as she patted my hair while I remained with her for a while.
Once I sensed my body was done letting it all out, I sat up, wondering where to start. What was I going to say? That her brother had cheated on me?
Technically, Will did not cheat, so how could I possibly hold it against him? But at the same time, I needed to talk about it.
“Do you want to tell me what the issue is?”
I nodded slightly in response to Lydia’s question before gathering the courage to speak.
“I don’t know where to start.”
“Well, I’m all ears and not in a hurry. We can start from anywhere.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat as I took a deep breath, ready to tell my best friend what had happened.
“So you know how I said I was going over to Will’s place?”
“Yes, to tell him about how you felt and to sort things out regarding where you both stand.”
“Yes, and . . . umm . . .” I paused, looking for the right words to tell her what had happened.
“Did he suggest ending things between you?”
“No, he . . . umm . . . he might have done worse,” I said as I watched Lydia adjust herself on the couch as though to understand me better.
“What are you trying to say?”
“I . . . umm . . . I went over to his place that evening, and then I walked into his living room and . . .” I paused as I tried to pull my emotions together. This was not the moment to resume crying again. “I . . . umm . . . he was . . . umm . . . with another woman. They were making out when I walked in on them.”
“Oh my god,” Lydia said with her mouth wide open and short of words. “I’m so sorry, Liz.”
“No, you don’t have to apologize, Lydia, please. You did not do anything wrong, and to be honest, I don’t even have to be angry at him. It’s not like we were a real couple or anything.”
“Liz, don’t do that.”
“No, Lydia, I need to be honest with myself. We need to be honest with ourselves.”
“All we had going on was a charade. It was a contract, and I was stupid and foolish enough to think that he was interested in me.”
“Don’t say that, Liz. No, don’t! Will was wrong for what he did.”
“You think so? Because I don’t think so. We are not dating or in a relationship, so I don’t think so,” I lied, trying to convince myself that he did no wrong.
“Still, he just confessed his feelings to you. Why would he do that and then go be with some other woman? Liz, he is my brother, but with the way he messed up, I’m not going to support him over you.”
“You know what, Lydia, I think I’m done with this contract, and I would like to call it off. I’m tired of constantly feeling like I never belong. I’m tired of these feelings that I can barely understand. I don’t want them anymore. It was a mistake on my end. I made a mistake by believing there was a future for us. I was getting ahead of myself, living in a fantasy world that did not exist, Lydia.”
“Elizabeth,” Lydia spoke softly, short of words with nothing to say. “My heart aches for you, especially considering the fact that you never wanted to do this to start with. It was me who convinced you to get into this fake relationship with Will. I’m sorry, Liz. I’m so sorry you had to go through all this.”
“No, it’s fine, Lydia. Like I said, this is in no way your fault. I mean, it’s not like you made him do what he did.”
“It’s not my fault, but I convinced you to get into the fake relationship in the first place. If I had known you were going to get hurt in the process, I never would have convinced you to.”
“Lydia, it’s fine. I mean, there is no way you would have known, right?”
“Oh, come here.” Lydia pulled me into a hug as she patted my back softly, reassuring me that it was all going to get better.
To be honest, now that I had spoken to Lydia about my heartache, I felt lighter. It was as if a heavy burden had been lifted from my chest, and now I could think clearly about what I wanted to do next.
“Thank you, Lydia.”
“For what?”
“For being here. This means a lot. And now I know what to do next.”
“Which is?”
I looked at her, detaching from her embrace. “Give me a minute.”
I stood up from the couch and went to my room. I knew what I was looking for. There it was, resting in one of my jewelry boxes on my dresser table. Taking out the engagement ring Will had given me, I looked at it up close, noticing how the diamond shone so brightly, sparkling in front of me. I suddenly remembered the night he had given it to me. He had told me it was for the charade so that people would not question the authenticity of our engagement.
Admiring it one last time, I took in a sad breath as I knew I had to let it go. There was no way I was going to continue with the contract with Will. Yes, I was no longer angry at him, but for the sake of my peace of mind and to preserve the little pride and ego I still had left, it was best I called off the engagement. Holding the ring firmly, I walked back to the living room.
“Here, please give this to him. I’m sure that explains everything.” I handed over the ring to Lydia, who looked at it confused at first before finally understanding what it meant.
“Are you sure, Liz?”
“There is nothing to be sure about. I don’t want to continue with the charade. It’s only going to affect me even more.”
“All right then. I will do just that,” Lydia said softly as she looked at me tenderly.
I settled in on the couch beside her as I stared blankly into the thin air in my room. I suppose all the fantasy was coming to an end. It was fun while it lasted, but then again, I doubt good things last forever.
All that concerned me now was my business, which I was trying to build. There was a high possibility that most of the clients would withdraw once news of our engagement being called off spread. But then, at the point where I was, I couldn’t care less.
I thought to myself, If it’s meant to be, it will be. This time, I’m leaving it to life to do as it pleases.