27. Elizabeth
I cleaned up the kitchen, putting things in order before checking my mailbox. I hummed a few hymns while mentally planning out my day ahead. Aside from checking my mailbox and reaching out to a few clients, I also planned to go fabric sourcing later. It’s been a while since I sewed dresses for myself.
The sight of countless fabrics was weirdly my happy place. To explain how much I loved shopping for fabrics, my sewing room was filled with fabrics I had not used yet, yet here I was, preparing to purchase more. Well, if it was going to make me happy, then I was going to do it.
As I finished up in the kitchen, I walked out and over to my workspace, only to be interrupted by a knock on the door. Wondering who that could be, I checked the time to see the time.
Only Lydia had the liberty to visit me at this time; besides, it wasn’t like I had a lot of friends. Walking over to the door, I turned the keys to unlock it before blindly opening it up. It wasn’t until I saw who it was that I wished I had checked the peephole. But seeing him stand in front of me wearing a similar expression as myself was enough to take away all the regret I felt in that instance.
As we stood there in front of my apartment, staring at each other with no words exchanged, I felt my heart beat faster than it had in the last few days. It wasn’t until I broke the gaze that Will came back to his senses, realizing that he had to say something.
“What are you doing here?” I asked immediately, leaving out every form of courtesy or greetings.
Despite sending the ring back as a clear message that I was done with the entire contract, seeing him at this moment reminded me that my feelings for him were still very valid and alive. Pushing aside the thoughts of my emotions, I looked up at him confidently and asked him once more.
“How can I help you, Will?”
I watched as he averted his gaze from mine, fixing his eyes below as he stuttered while trying to form his statement. To be honest, his moment of stuttering surprised me; Will was always confident, and never once did he make a mistake in his words when I was with him, but then here he was, suddenly unable to speak.
“I . . . umm . . . I just . . . umm . . .” Will said as he shuffled on both legs, trying to put himself together, with his heart beating fast and his hands sweating profusely.
He had been so excited and eager to come down here that he had totally forgotten to plan what he was going to say or figure out what it was that he was going to tell Elizabeth.
“I’m trying to get you, Will, but you’re not making any sense.”
“I just . . .” Will paused.
I watched him take a deep breath as his head leaned backward before he finally faced me again.
“Can we talk, please? Can I explain, please?”
“Talk about?”
“Elizabeth, please, I beg you. Just give me a chance to speak. Let me at least tell you what I came here for.”
As I looked into his eyes, I sensed sincerity emanating from them. Yet I couldn’t help but recall the sincerity in his eyes when he told me he had feelings for me, only to later be with another woman. Pushing back the memory of that painful night, I took a few steps back, further opening the door for him to come in.
“Thank you very much,” he said before walking in further.
I watched him look around nervously, taking in the interior of my home.
“Umm, I got these for you,” Will said as he pointed the flowers at me.
“For me?”
“Yes.”
I took the bouquet of yellow roses from him, inhaling its fragrance before going over to put it in a jar.
“You can have a seat. The couch won’t bite,” I said as I saw him still standing in the same spot I left him in.
“Thank you.”
I settled into my seat, clutching my pillow tightly to my chest as if guarding my heart from further pain.
“So I’m all ears.”
I watched him put his hands together nervously before he began his speech.
“First off, Elizabeth, I want to sincerely apologize to you from the depths of my heart. I know that what I did was wrong, and I know I hurt you deeper than I can ever imagine. The truth is I was scared. I know that is not an excuse, but it’s the truth.”
“Scared of what, Will?” I asked, confused as to what he meant.
Will paused for a minute as though trying to put his thoughts together before talking. “I . . . umm . . . I vowed never to fall in love again, and that is because of the experiences I have had. I mean, I watched my mom walk out on my dad and their marriage, claiming the love was gone. My last relationship, too . . .” Will paused again as though the recount of those events hurt him afresh as he spoke. “She . . . umm . . . she betrayed me, shattering what little hope I had left in the idea of love. I need you to know that prior to our meeting, I have carried a mindset that love doesn’t exist. What I believed was that it was a pointless emotion that money and power could fill up. But after meeting you, after being your fake fiancée all this time, Liz, I have come to understand that it’s not just a pointless emotion.”
I felt my heart gradually soften as Will spoke genuinely, with his gaze fixed on me all through.
“I think of you every time, and I feel a stirring in my heart. I always want to be around you. I want to laugh with you and share jokes with you. I want to go to all of those pointless parties with you and just spend all of my time with you in private. I want to show you other parts of me that no one knows,” Will said all in one breath and then paused as his chest heaved.
I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat as I listened to him pour out his feelings to me. Never had I imagined a moment like this happening.
“I’m willing to risk falling in love again if it’s with you, Elizabeth. I mean, the thought of losing you, the thought of never having you by my side as my fiancée or partner scares me so much! Elizabeth, I love you.”
His words caught me off guard, causing my breath to catch in my throat. My heart raced, leaving me speechless and anxious. I watched him as he looked at me with glistening eyes, which indicated that he was close to tears.
“I love you, Elizabeth,” he declared, his voice filled with emotion. “I mean, if someone had told me I’d be saying this, I would have never believed it. But then look at me, pouring my heart out, even though I might get rejected.”
“Will . . .”
“No, hold on, please. Let me just say all that I have on my heart. I know why you came to my place that night. Lydia told me.”
I took a deep breath as I tried to calm the turmoil within me, yet I found myself unable to move an inch from the spot that I sat on.
“I understand if you hate me after what you saw,” Will began. “But the truth is, the only reason that woman was with me was because I was trying to get over you, convincing myself that my feelings for you were not real. However, I’ve come to realize that it was all in vain because . . . my feelings for you are very much real, Elizabeth. So, once again, I sincerely apologize for that night. Trust me, we didn’t do anything past what you saw, and I did not intend to.”
“You hurt me, Will.”
“I know I did, Elizabeth. I know I did, and I’m genuinely sorry. I would gladly do anything I can to fix things again, and this is me being honest. But just please give us a second chance. I can’t afford to lose you.”
I stayed silent as I listened to his every word, torn about what to do next. Part of me recognized that letting this go would bring peace to both of us, but then what? Do we revert to the fake relationship? The idea was tempting, but after everything that had happened, continuing with the contract would never be the same.
“I don’t know, Will. I don’t even know what I want.”
“I understand, Elizabeth. Trust me, I sincerely do, and I’m not rushing you or requesting that you give me feedback now. All I’m asking for is your forgiveness—that’s all, Elizabeth. I just want us to be friends again, at least. Being apart from you in this manner is killing me inside.”
I could feel Will’s sincerity, and it got me moved, to be honest. I guess forgiving him was not such a terrible idea. After all, it’s not like he directly offended me.
“I believe you,” I finally managed to speak as I played with my hands anxiously.
“You do?”
“Yes, I do, and I forgive you,” I said, finally releasing the weight from my chest as I let out a soft breath.