34. Abigail
THIRTY-FOUR
ABIGAIL
Evelyn answered the door wearing a matching periwinkle blue pantsuit, her white hair perfectly styled. Huge pearls hung in her ears, and rings adorned four of her fingers. “Abigail! Come on in. I was surprised to get your call earlier.”
“Thanks for agreeing to meet with me.”
The older woman led me into her home, down a wide hallway and into a formal living room, complete with overstuffed sofas and a big feature fireplace. She brought out a silver tray with delicate china cups full of coffee, and we sat across from each other and made pleasant conversation for a few minutes.
“This isn’t where we have Hooker’s Paradise when we come over,” I noted, waving to the gilded wallpaper and dramatic chandelier. When Evelyn hosted, we usually gathered in the room off the kitchen that had big comfy sofas and a television hidden behind a wooden cabinet .
Evelyn’s eyes were sharp as she smiled. “You said you wanted to talk business. I felt the formal living room would be more appropriate.”
I laughed. “Fair enough. I’m here about the strip mall on Sweetgum Boulevard south of town.”
Evelyn sipped her coffee and smiled. “So the Sinclair boy wised up and hired someone who could actually help him, did he?”
I had to hand it to Evelyn, she immediately guessed why I was here. Since she cut straight to the point, I needed to follow suit. “Does that mean you’re interested in selling?”
We settled into business, and the tension that had plagued me for days began to melt away. This was my element. I loved the thrill of the sale and the sharp edge of a tough negotiation. Finally, Evelyn gave me a number that I could take back to Sinclair. I exhaled, smiling.
“Now that that’s done,” she said, “would you like some cake? I heard you didn’t get to eat any this weekend.”
Reality crashed back into me, and I sighed. “You heard, huh?”
“Honey, there isn’t one person in this town—maybe in this whole country—that hasn’t heard.”
I groaned. Evelyn chuckled, then disappeared into the kitchen and came back with two thick slices of cake from Sophie’s bakery. I took a bite and hummed. Chocolate cake, pistachio filling, and flakes of rich dark chocolate speared into a thick ganache outer layer. Yum. Sophie knew her stuff.
“Can I ask you something?” I asked when I’d demolished half my slice.
“Depends on what it is,” Evelyn replied. She sat with one ankle crossed over the other, looking like the queen of her domain.
“It’s about your marriages.”
Evelyn nodded for me to continue.
“You were married four times, right? How did you get back on the horse after your first divorce? Or even your later ones? Wasn’t that…hard?”
Evelyn was a shrewd woman who gave very little away. But the way she looked at me now made me think that she would’ve made a wonderful grandmother. She looked warm and gentle and kind. “The first one was the easiest, to tell the truth,” she admitted. “We married young, and we were glad to go our separate ways. My second husband—that was more difficult. I loved him something awful, and he hurt me.”
“But you still got married again.”
Evelyn gave me a smile that I’d never seen before. It was wistful and soft. “I did. I guess I’m a romantic. I always believe the best in people.”
“Evelyn, there are rumors you killed three quarters of the men you married.”
She laughed. “I know. Isn’t it fabulous?”
I took another bite of cake and giggled. Then I asked, “Do you regret any of it?”
“My marriages?”
I nodded.
“No,” she answered simply.
“Not at all?”
“I learned from each of them,” she told me. “I always felt like it was worth the risk of getting hurt in case I found someone worth loving. ”
“You’re braver than I am,” I admitted.
“You’re as brave as you decide to be,” she corrected.
We finished our tea and cake, and I promised to take her offer to Sinclair. I spent the afternoon around town, checking out the local listings and doing some work from my phone. I thought about my conversation with Evelyn—and I thought about Rex.
I was still angry. So mad it burned. I didn’t know if I had what Evelyn had—that desire to open myself up to that kind of hurt, just in case it worked out. I was too afraid of the pain.
Eventually, having nothing else to do and seeing the first of the streetlights come back on, I headed back to my big, empty house. The trophy I’d kept after my divorce, with its empty rooms and echoing hallways, the sinks that clogged too easily, and the yard I couldn’t keep tidy.
The house had meant so much to me. It was a win. It was all my resentment and my pain, ripped out of my ex-husband’s greedy grasp.
And now?
Now it was a burden.
How much pain did I cling to in my life? How much pain did I invite into my life with reckless, impulsive decisions born out of my desire to be right, to be justified, to be vindicated?
I could’ve believed Rex. I could’ve forgiven him, heard him out, believed the best in him. And then what?
Get hurt again? Feel less than? Get trampled on at every opportunity?
No.
I wasn’t going to be the kooky old lady with a reputation for murdering her various husbands who was a secret romantic at heart. I wouldn’t be in a position where someone hurt me bad enough to deserve murder.
I was going to protect myself from that pain in the first place. Even if it meant living in a big, empty house that I didn’t like, or having a reputation for being reckless and unlovable.
It was better than being hurt at every turn.
When I finally pulled up to my house, the first thing I noticed was my cat in the front window. The second was Charlie’s car. She got out of the driver’s side, and Sophie got out of the passenger seat holding a big pizza box.
“What are you guys doing here?” I asked.
“You haven’t answered our calls and texts,” Charlie said. “Besides, it’s dinnertime, and we got pizza.” She gestured to the box in Sophie’s hands.
“And I got the wine!” Sophie swung around to show me her hip, where a brown paper bag peeked out of the top of her purse.
My shoulders dropped as a smile curled my lips. My house wouldn’t be so empty tonight, at least. “Aw, you guys. Thank you for being here for me.”
“Of course. We love you,” Sophie said. She smiled softly at me, her cherub cheeks round and red, her soft curls gathered in a messy bun at the top of her head.
Charlie walked over and wrapped her arms around me. “We love you,” she repeated.
“I love you guys too.” There were at least two people who loved and accepted me for all my craziness. I took a deep breath and felt a little better. “Do you guys want to eat outside by the fire pit?”
“Do you have any wood to burn?” Sophie asked.
I tilted my head, having forgotten to get more logs at the store. “I’ve got some scraps of fence left.”
“Anything else?” Charlie asked.
It only took a second to remember I had a pile of things in my closet that I wanted to be rid of. The corners of my mouth turned up in a devilish grin. “Yeah. Hang on.” I dashed upstairs, opened my closet, and grabbed the duffel bag stuffed in the corner. Winston hadn’t managed to get in there to poop on it, but that was okay. It would burn just fine.
I came down carrying Rex’s stuff with a triumphant grin. “The best kindling known to man! Your ex-boyfriend’s junk!”
Charlie looked at me, then at Sophie, then back at me. “Not exactly what I meant, but sure, Abigail. Whatever you want.”
I tossed the duffel on one of the armchairs on the covered porch and grabbed three glasses of wine and a barbecue lighter. While I got the fire going with the fence pieces, Charlie and Sophie set up our meal outside. Winston meowed from inside the patio door, scratching at it. I couldn’t tell if his cry could be translated into I want to be with you or I want pizza! In either case, he’d have to wait.
“So…what exactly happened last weekend?” Charlie asked.
“You don’t know?” I asked.
Sophie shrugged. “Not really. We’ve heard a thousand different versions of the story, but I’m not sure I’ll believe any of them until I hear it from you.”
Charlie nodded. “Sophie caught the fight streaming on Tammy’s account. She called me right away. By the time we got over there, you’d already been taken in.”
I could hardly look at Sophie, but I forced myself to meet her gaze. “So you saw the whole thing. ”
“I saw you smash my cake into Blair’s face,” she said.
“Sorry about that.”
“Don’t be. She deserved it. She deserved a lot worse. What a nightmare.”
“So you saw the kiss too?” I asked.
“I tried to find the original video, but all I could find were people who’d clipped it in reaction videos.” She scooted to the edge of her seat, wine sloshing in her glass. “It looked like Blair went up to him and kissed him. This one creator did a deep dive about Blair’s past, and how she’s bitter because Rex broke it off with her years ago, and she went after Donny as revenge.” Sophie shrugged. “I don’t know what to think.”
I set my pizza aside, my stomach clenching. Hunger was a distant thing. “I feel sick.”
“Oh, my gosh, Abigail. She kissed him right in front of you?” Charlie asked.
I nodded, tears surfacing again. God, I was sick of crying. “I was on my way to the coat room when I heard Blair say, ‘I love you too,’ and then I walked in and they were kissing.” As the memory came flooding back, so did more tears. “It was like walking in on Travis all over again. Only worse because…because…” My voice caught. I couldn’t finish the sentence.
“Because you really cared about Rex?” Sophie prompted softly.
I nodded, an ugly sob making my chest shudder.
“Because you…love him?” Charlie asked.
Words wouldn’t come out. Admitting that I’d fallen so fast and so hard for Rex felt like admitting just how weak and vulnerable and small I really was. I curled into myself and felt my friends’ soothing hands on me while they offered their condolences for yet another heartbreak. After a few minutes of crying, I took in a few deep breaths and a huge gulp of wine.
“And Rex maintains that he didn’t kiss her back?” Sophie asked, eyes intent.
I shrugged. “The way I feel right now, it doesn’t actually matter. He walked away from me. He watched my brother and freaking Bryce Lawson pile on me and talk crap about me, and he did nothing to stand up for me. Instead, he ran off and got himself in that situation. He’s so worried about saving Donny from himself, and I just—I can’t do this. I can’t be the bigger person and pretend that I don’t care, or that I’m okay with always coming last. I want someone to stand up for me. I want someone to choose me .”
There was a silence, and then Charlie slapped her hands on her thighs. “You know what we need right now?”
“What?”
“To burn some shit.”
I wasn’t sure if setting Rex’s things aflame would make me feel better. But I was sure it was worth a try. “Good idea. I’ll go grab the bag.”
My feet crunched over the dried leaves that littered my backyard as I walked back to the house. Winston still waited at the screen door. “Back up, little buddy,” I said softly, and he did. I walked in and shut the door behind me, then grabbed Rex’s bag. The moment I picked it up, I could smell him. I hated to admit it, but it made me miss him, which only made me angry, which made new tears puddle in my eyes.
Yeah. I was a mess.
I needed to burn this stuff as soon as possible and cleanse myself of Rex Montgomery. I opened the back door and felt a rush streak by my calves. I blinked my tears back and watched as Winston jetted across the lawn.
“Winston!” I yelled, but he sprang off into the darkness. My friends looked up, and I pointed toward him. “Winston got out!”
Sophie bolted from her chair and Charlie was right behind her. Still gripping the duffel, I ran as fast as I could. Winston was still faster.
“Winston!” we all called after him, but he never looked back.
Please don’t jump the fence. Please don’t jump the fence!
Winston, the little rule-breaker, didn’t listen to my mental command. With one powerful leap, he was on top of the fence. He paused for a moment and glanced back at us, then stepped daintily across until he was at the side of the house.
“Winston!” I cried as he leaped off the fence. I could hardly see him in the gloom, apart from the white of his paws and the tip of his tail. The duffel dropped onto the grass at my side. I rushed to the side gate and caught a glimpse of him shooting up the big oak tree in my front yard, disappearing into the fluttering, changing leaves.
Charlie, Sophie, and I went through the side gate and stood at the base of the trunk, looking up in the dark. “Winston!” I called, and he meowed back from a branch.
Only this wasn’t his normal cry; he sounded scared. My heart began to thump, and a cold bead of sweat trickled down my spine. I called his name again, and Winston meowed back so softly I could barely hear it beneath the rustle of the leaves.
An old, familiar refrain started up in my head. I’d messed up. I’d let him out. I couldn’t keep a man, a cat, or a clean house. I screwed everything up, and now an innocent kitty would bear the brunt of my failures.
Winston was tough on the outside, but he stared down at me with big eyes, and I knew he was terrified.
The one creature that didn’t judge me, that listened to me rant, that pooped in the shoes of my enemies. I needed to get to him. The closest branch was well above my head, but I jumped up anyway, missing it by a mile. Charlie and Sophie tried, but they were both shorter than I was, and their vertical jump wasn’t exactly going to get them drafted into the WNBA.
Winston cried again.
“Just hang tight, buddy. I’ll get you down,” I promised. I dashed inside and came back out with a bag of kibble. Shaking it at the tree, I met Winston’s gaze. “Come on, kitty cat. If you could jump up, you can jump down. You know you want some of this.”
Winston stared at me.
I tossed some kibble on the ground and pointed at it. Winston looked at me like I’d insulted his mother. Sighing, I set his food by the front door and brought out a stepladder. Still too short.
Winston cried again. My heart twisted.
Of all the things that could go wrong, this was the one that would send me over the edge. My cat was the one creature that had been steady this week. The one thing I could count on. My heart rate had only climbed over the past five minutes, and my breaths were coming in short. Winston hadn’t asked to be adopted by the town screwup. He didn’t deserve this.
I stared up at him, distraught.
“Do you have a bigger ladder?” Charlie asked, and I shook my head.
“You know who would?” Sophie asked, bunching her lips to the side.
“Please don’t say Betrayer-saurus Rex,” Charlie answered.
“No, but close. We could call the fire department. They’d have him down in no time.”