Chapter 31
thirty-one
Caroline
"I want a little more curl on this side." My sister instructed her stylist through her reflection in the mirror as she pointed at a lock of hair.
I stood by the window, gaze drifting past my own reflection to the lake I had known my whole life.
The sun sparkled off the water's surface, while the tables just outside were decked in flowers and candles, waiting for celebration.
Goldilocks was meandering with a few other horses in the fenced pasture.
I should have been ecstatic for my sister, but all I felt was an emptiness that gnawed at my insides.
I could deal with the pitying glances, the whispered judgments about my solo presence—I had braced myself for it.
But nothing could have prepared me for this hollow ache that was spreading through my chest, knowing Reese wouldn't be here.
It wasn't that I needed him to fend off the judgment or save me from the disappointment.
It was the startling realization that I just wanted him here with me. For me.
Reese, with his otherworldly eyes that seemed to dive into the depths of my soul, always finding a way to stir up my emotions.
There was something tantalizing in his recklessness, in the small glimpses of complexity that lived beneath his rough exterior.
And now, with him not here, I felt how much I was starting to really care about him.
Behind me, the room buzzed with last-minute preparations.
"Caroline, lip gloss," my sister yelled. Her reflection in the mirror was pure perfection, exactly how I had always imagined she’d look on her wedding day.
I reached into my small clutch, pulling out the gloss and extending it towards her with a practiced smile that I knew didn't quite reach my eyes.
"You look perfect," I told her, as she carefully painted her lips. She flashed me a grateful look, her expression softening for a moment.
"Thank you," she nodded just as Sam burst into the room with urgency.
"Five minutes until we need to get started," Sam announced. "I need the bridesmaids first."
The room sprung into action, sounding of rustling dresses and whispers. I took a deep breath as the bridesmaids before me fluttered into formation, each paired with a groomsmen who waited nearby.
"Looks like you need an escort," Cooper said, turning to hand me his arm with a warm smile.
"Cooper! Oh, am I glad to see you," I replied, my voice barely above a whisper as I placed my hand lightly on his arm. He always made me feel safe and loved, even when he didn’t say anything.
"It's good to see you, sis. You look beautiful."
“Thank you, Coop,” I said, peering through the space between heavy drapes where the crowd was seated, waiting for the ceremony to start.
Reese wasn't going to be here; I had made it clear to him that I didn’t want him to come.
But, I found myself searching for him anyway—scanning for him. He was nowhere to be found.
"Let me guess," Cooper said with a knowing smile. "Looking for the pitcher?" He stood beside me, his posture relaxed but observant.
"I told him not to come today," I confessed as we fell in line waiting for our cue.
"Why?" he asked, his eyes narrowing ever so slightly in that calculating way he always did.
"Because..." I began, struggling to articulate the emotions I was feeling, "I don't need a date just because everyone says I do."
"Fair," he nodded with the slightest tilt of his head. "But you were the only one I just saw searching for him. Maybe you really just want him here for you, not anyone else."
I swallowed hard at the realization that struck me at his words. All this time I wanted him here to impress everyone else, but now... now those prying eyes, all the petty judgments, they blurred into insignificance. I didn't care about anyone else. I just wanted him here for me.
"Ready?" Cooper asked, as the music swelled, signaling our turn.
"Let’s do it," I replied, stepping forward with him into the stunning ceremony, feeling every eye on us.
The ceremony went faster than I expected.
Charlotte's beauty captivated the room, and I knew it was every bit of perfection that Charlotte had hoped for.
The bridal party got to leave the ceremony first, and I knew exactly where I was headed before we needed to get to the social part of the evening.
I slipped outside, headed straight to see Goldilocks.
The barn was open, and she must have wandered inside.
"Hey there," I whispered, vaulting up onto the gate, my fingers finding her softness. "What's wrong with me, Goldy? Was he right about me ruining my own happiness?"
She tilted her head, those big, beautiful eyes reflecting back my own uncertainty. And then Goldilocks let out a sound—a low, thoughtful mewl. It was as if she understood, as if she agreed.
"You’re not supposed to agree with him." I chuckled and stroked her back, smoothing down the fine hairs. "I think I was really liking him, maybe even falling for him, which is absolutely wild."
Goldilocks shifted, giving me a knowing look.
"Don’t give me that look. I can't have him—blondes aren’t his type. And men like him don’t end up with women like me," I added, and yes, there I was, spilling my heart out to a horse—having a full conversation.
A deep, gravelly voice cut through the doubt. "Then he's an idiot… because if he had any sense, he'd know how incredible you are."
The phrase struck me like a lightning bolt, sending a jolt through my entire body. I froze, the hairs on the back of my neck standing on end as the atmosphere thickened with a suffocating intensity.
There, Reese stood in some suit that made the groom's tux look like it was some worn hand-me-down, its dark fabric hugging his athletic body in a way that made my mouth water.
My breath hitched, eyes wide as they drank in the sight of him—the way you knew his wealth and masculinity just from the way he carried himself.
"Reese?" It was the only word that came to mind before I forced out, "Why are you here?"
"I know you can do this on your own," he said, approaching slowly. "You don't need me to get through this, but I want to be there for you anyway."
My fingers twitched at my sides with the urge to close the distance between us, to feel the safety of his arms. I imagined his hard chest pressed against me, his warm breath on my neck, his heartbeat steady and reassuring.
But I had to pull myself back. Spending tonight with him, allowing myself to fall back into the habit of pretending we were together, would only leave a deeper wound when he inevitably left me behind.
No matter how fiercely I wanted him or how much him standing here right now made my heart do embarrassing, Olympic-level gymnastics, he still had the draft coming up.
He’d be leaving. The last thing I needed was to be the distraction that messed with his future, or pretend a long distance relationship would work.
Nope. I’d just swallow my feelings like a responsible, emotionally stable adult…
or, at the very least, try really hard to keep myself together long enough to do what’s right.
"I… I need you to stop saving me. Stop trying to be the hero," I forced out, my voice heavy with emotions I didn’t want to unleash.
The moonlight filtered through the cracks in the wooden walls and played across his face, highlighting the chiseled lines of his jaw. He had his hands buried in the pockets of his pants in a casual pose that didn’t match the intensity burning in his green eyes.
"Last thing I am is a hero," he said, with a small chuckle. "But I know you well enough to know when you're pushing me away when you want the exact opposite."
I averted my gaze from him, seeking refuge in the familiarity of Goldilocks and her now judgy eyes. "Reese, our deal is over. This is done."
There was no immediate response, just the sound of Goldilocks shifting restlessly on her hooves.
Then, a soft huff—a frustrated exhalation from her—as if she didn’t even believe what I had just said.
Goldilocks turned on her heel, her tail flicking in quiet reprimand before she sauntered out of the barn.
"We're not done, Caroline," Reese said, smooth and dangerous. "We haven't even started yet."
"Don't say that." I turned to him, my voice barely a whisper. "We are not doing this." I pressed my hands against his chest, trying to push him away—but he didn’t budge.
“Like fuck we aren’t,” Reese said, before he kicked the stand propping open the barn door. The heavy wood slammed shut, sealing us inside the barn.
"What's the point?" My words were half-lost in the moment, my defiance struggling to find its footing. "We both know what we signed up for. We both knew this had to come to an end."
"You are a fucking headache. But you… you also push me, challenge me to be a better man, and I need someone who does that. I need you. And you need someone to pull you out of those flames you always seem to be in. You need someone to be your safe place. You need me too."
"You think you see something in me that needs saving, that I'm some helpless damsel trapped in a fire. But maybe these flames are where I belong. I can't be the person you want me to be, and I don’t need a safe place."
"You're lying," his voice was low and husky. "Everyone needs a safe place.”
"Just let this go, Reese. It’s over. You can release me now," I said, the words crushing my own heart along with it.
But he wasn’t letting this go. Each slow, deliberate step he took closed the space between us. Heat rolled off him in waves. My back hit the rough wood of the barn, the faint flicker of shadows passing by outside barely registering.
"We’re not over," he said. His dangerous and raw tone unraveled me in a way I wasn’t ready for. He leaned in, smug and unhurried. “If I pulled your dress up right now, what would I find, Caroline?”
“You’d find nothing but some very dry, pink lace panties.”