Chapter 9 Beatrice
BEATRICE
My heart jumps into my throat and tears burn my eyes as I stare at my best friend.
The urge to lie burns through me. But I can’t.
It’s too late.
There is no other reason I’d be drinking soda when we’re out.
Tonight was always going to the night she discovered the truth.
And while I don’t want to deal with said truth, I must admit that her knowing lifts just a little bit of the pressure from my shoulders.
It’s not just my secret now.
“Oh, Bea,” Sienna says softly as my eyes flood with tears.
“I suspected but I didn’t really think. Shit.
Are you okay?” I sniffle and nod. “Wait. That was a stupid question. Of course you’re not okay.
You’re probably freaking the fuck out. Have you told anyone?
Oh my god, does he know? Have you spoken to him?
Fuck. It’s his, right?” She leans closer just in case a random person walking past overhears. “It’s Donnelly’s?”
At hearing his name, my emotions bubble over.
A sob rips from my throat, but Sienna is there, wrapping her arms around me and holding me tight.
“It’s going to be okay, Bea. Everything is going to be okay.”
I suck in a shuddering breath as she tries to reassure me. But while I might want to believe her, I’m struggling to.
How?
How is it going to be okay?
The business might be in a better place now, but she has no idea that I’m about to be evicted from my home.
I’m pregnant by a man who will probably think I’m lying, or that I somehow did it on purpose to claim a chunk of his fortune.
I have no family to support me. My friends are my family now, and I can’t ask any more of them.
A laugh erupts. Are they even really my friends when they’re my employees? If the business were to go under, would they stick around? Or would they find new jobs and new lives without me in them?
“Whoa. I’ve got you,” Sienna says softly, gently stroking my back as I shatter.
Normally, I’d care that I’m breaking on the sidewalk where anyone can see me. But right now, I’m not in control of my body or my emotions.
I have no idea how long we stand there for, Sienna practically keeping me upright, but eventually, my sobs subside.
I pull my face from the crook of her neck and wipe my wet cheeks with the back of my hand.
She studies me with soft eyes. “Did you want to go home?”
“What?” I balk. “No.”
Home is the very last place I want to be right now.
“Bea,” Sienna starts.
“I’m fine, honestly.”
“We don’t have to do this. We can go somewhere else. Somewhere quiet and talk about all of this.”
I shake my head. What good will talking about it do?
It’s not going to change anything. It’s not going to give me any answers.
It’ll just remind me how royally fucked I am.
“No, I want to get dinner and then go watch the game.”
“But—”
“No, buts. This…this situation isn’t going to change anytime soon. I’ve got a few months to try and figure it all out.”
“But what if you see him?”
“I won’t, though, will I? Like you said, our seats are with the gods. And even if he did, he won’t remember me.”
“Are you crazy? Of course he’ll remember you.”
“Sienna, I love you, I really do. But please, don’t lie to me. You know his reputation with women better than I do. That night will be a part of his past, another conquest to add to his tally. The only person who’s going to have to live with the consequences is me.”
Sienna’s eyes widen. “You’re not going to tell him?”
“What? No, of course I’m going to tell him. One way or another, I’ll make sure he knows. But that doesn’t mean he’ll accept it.”
“He’ll have to.” Her eyes drop to my stomach. “That little person is as much his responsibility as it is yours. You can get a lawyer and—”
“One step at a time, Si. I barely took the test a week ago and—”
“You’ve known for a whole week?” I hate the way her eyes darken with hurt.
“I’m sorry. I just…I’m a mess, and—”
“No,” she says, reaching for my hands. “I’m sorry. This is your…situation. You have every right to keep it quiet for as long as you want. I just…I’m here for you, Bea. Whatever you need.” Her eyes drop again. “Both of you.”
Her words have a fresh wave of tears spilling over my lashes.
“Oh shit, I’m sorry,” she says, reaching up to wipe my eyes with the sleeve of her jersey. “Shall I stop being nice?”
A laugh bubbles out of me. “That would be great. Tell me that I’m an idiot. Tell me that I should have considered the consequences before getting swept away by one of the hottest men on the planet.”
“He is hot, huh?”
“That’s all you took from that?”
“You’re not an idiot, Bea.”
“But look at me,” I say, waving my hand in front of what is no doubt my red and puffy face.
“Did you use protection?”
“Yes, of course we did. He’s the world’s biggest fuckboy.
I wasn’t letting him touch me otherwise.
” I say this with way more confidence than I probably should.
Yes, he pulled out a condom. Yes, we did everything right.
But if I’m being honest with myself, if at that point he told me he didn’t have one… would I have stopped?
Honestly, I’m not sure I would have.
Not that it really matters. His super sperm still managed to get on up there and do its business.
Of course, the all-powerful, arrogant hockey player would have protection-defying sperm.
“Then you did everything right.”
“So why is this happening?”
Sienna smiles at me, but it’s clear in her eyes that she doesn’t have an answer.
“The universe works in mysterious ways.”
“Do you really believe that bullshit?” I balk.
“No, abso-fucking-lutely not. But it sounded good, right?”
“I love you,” I say, pulling her into my body and hugging her tight.
“Good, because I love you too. Whatever happens next, I’m right here, no matter what.”
“I don’t deserve you.”
“Well, I don’t care what you think you deserve. I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.”
I roll my shoulders back and suck in a deep breath through my nose.
“I’ve got this,” I say, holding my head high and wiping my tears again.
My fingers come away stained black, and I have no doubt my cheeks look similar.
But that’s not going to stop me from enjoying a night with my best friend.
“Come on. I’m starving,” I say, hooking my arm through hers and dragging her toward the bar entrance.
It’s already busy, everyone inside wearing a whole range of green and white, ready to support the Vipers.
Thankfully, we find a table at the back. You can’t see the TVs from here, which is fine by me, seeing as we’ll be in the arena to see it all live in a few hours.
“I’m just gonna…” I point over my shoulder in the direction of the restrooms. “I’ll just be a minute.”
“You okay on your own?”
“Yes. Save the table and order me a soda if the server comes.”
Sienna smiles and nods before I disappear to fix the state of my face.
As predicted, I’m red and patchy, my eyes bloodshot and swollen. I’m a mess, but then I guess it’s just reflecting what’s on the inside right now. And I certainly don’t need to worry that anyone might try to chat me up tonight. I’m like a walking red flag, and I don’t even have a bump yet.
I do the best I can before walking out to find my friend and finally get some food inside me.
After placing an order for a bacon and cheeseburger, fries, and a side of onion rings, I take a sip of my soda and slump back in my seat.
“So…” Sienna starts. “Work was busy today, huh?”
“Yep. And the weather was hot,” I counter with a smirk.
She wants to ask a million and one questions but also doesn’t want to push me.
“It’s okay. I can talk about it. Maybe it’ll even help if I do. Hell knows I’ve kept it bottled up long enough.”
“Okay, good. How far along are you? When is your due date? Was everything okay when you visited the doctor? Have you figured out how you’re going to tell him? Are you going to tell your mom? What about work, and maternity leave, and—”
“Take a breath,” I demand, lifting my glass for another drink.
“Shit, I’m sorry. I just…this is a lot.”
“Tell me about it,” I mutter, trying to remember the questions she started with. “Coming up on six weeks. I put the conception date into an online calculator, and it came back with early January. The doctor hasn’t said anything because I haven’t been, and—”
“You haven’t been?”
“N-no. I feel fine. I’ve done four different tests. I’m pretty certain what the diagnosis is.”
“But you need to go. They’ll hook you up with your midwife, you need to get your ultrasounds booked in and…shit, Bea. We need to make sure you’re both looked after.”
I nod, dropping my eyes to the table as shame burns through me.
“Bea? What’s—oh, fuck. Tell me you didn’t cancel your insurance,” she begs.
“I couldn’t afford to keep it up,” I whisper. “It was just temporary while I got the business back on its feet.”
“It is. You should have restarted it.”
“It hasn’t been that easy,” I argue.
My stomach knots as anger and disappointment flood through my veins.
I hate myself for the stupid decisions I made. I thought I was being offered the opportunity of a lifetime, but it was nothing but lies.
I nearly lost everything I’ve worked so hard for.
I’ve put everything I’ve had into my salon.
Not just cash, but blood, sweat, and tears.
We all have. The thought of losing it because I believed some stupid scammer will keep me up at night for years to come.
I’m pretty sure I’ll be paying for it for that long as well.
But while the business might be stable now, my personal life is an entirely different story. But I’ve managed to keep that under wraps. If Sienna knew, she’d try to help. But I don’t want help. I was the one who put us all at risk.
“We’re gonna fix this,” Sienna states, pulling her cell from her pocket. “We’re going to get you signed back up, and then it’ll all be okay.”
“Put that away. Now isn’t the time,” I urge.
“But you need to be checked over. You need your early pregnancy ultrasound. And then in a few weeks, you’ll need another, and then another.” Suddenly, she gasps and sits up taller.
“What?” I ask hesitantly.
“He’ll have killer insurance. He’ll get you the very best medical care money can buy.”
“Sienna, no. That’s not the reason he needs to know.”
“No, I know that. I just…he did this too, Bea. He should at least help to look after you.”
Emotion burns my eyes again. The picture she paints is perfect: both of us going to an ultrasound, seeing our baby on a screen. But none of it is real.
And really, I don’t want anything from him.
I don’t care how many millions he earns hitting a bit of rubber around an ice rink. The only reason he needs to know is so he can make an informed decision. If there is a chance that my child can have both their parents, then I’m going to do everything I can to ensure that for them.