Chapter 20 - Beatrice
BEATRICE
“Ithink you could make it really cozy,” Sienna says as she unpacks a box of plates and mugs beside me.
“Hmm,” I mumble as I select a cupboard for the glasses. It’s a fast decision, seeing as there are only a handful to choose from.
I’ve already had to get rid of a lot of my things, including most of my furniture.
But it’s becoming painfully obvious that more is going to have to go.
This tiny one-bedroom apartment just doesn’t have the space.
If you’d have asked me six months ago if I thought I had a lot of possessions, I’d have laughed and said no.
My life is so different from how I grew up.
But apparently, not quite different enough.
This new chapter…yeah, it’s the most humbling thing I’ve ever experienced.
On the plus side, I’ve made quite a bit of money selling some of my designer shoes and purses. It pained me to do it, but I knew I didn’t have a choice. My baby doesn’t have any need for Louis Vuitton purses or Christian Louboutin heels.
“It’s only temporary. Things are on the up now, right? The business is thriving. You’ll get yourself out of this hole, and it’ll be like it never happened.”
I love Sienna’s positivity, I really do. But I’m much more of a realist.
Sure, the business has thankfully bounced back, but I’ve still got debts to pay, and my ability to work and earn money is going to be significantly reduced in a few months’ time.
“Yeah,” I mutter.
It’s been just over a week since we took the DNA tests and got to see our baby for the first time. It’s also been just over a week since I’ve spoken to Everett. It didn’t occur to me at the time, but he took my number and didn’t hand his over in return.
Sure, I could jump back on social media and try again. Or I could reach out to Hailee, but she’s already done enough. Now Everett knows the truth, the ball is in his court. I just have to be patient.
They said the results could take up to ten days, but that’s almost here. I need those results so that he can see in black and white what I’ve known since the moment I suspected I’d walked away with more than I bargained for that night.
Sienna and I work side by side to find homes for the essential things in my kitchen before moving onto my bedroom. I’ve only got one small closet and a chest of drawers. I guess it’s a good thing that most of my clothes aren’t going to fit soon.
By the time the sun sets outside, we’ve done as much as we can, but the place doesn’t resemble the cute and cozy home Sienna was hoping for. There are still boxes everywhere, but there’s nowhere to put any of the things hiding inside them.
I need storage, but that would involve renting somewhere. I could take some of it to the salon; we have a bit of space. But what’s the point? If this really is a new chapter in my life, then I might as well fully embrace that and get rid of everything from the last one.
With both of us squished onto my one remaining small couch, we put our feet up on the coffee table and order Chinese.
Silence falls around us, and I finally begin to relax, but then, music starts.
“What the hell is that?” Sienna cries.
“Neighbors. It was the same last night.”
She looks at me, concern darkening her eyes.
“I’ll get used to it,” I say, although it’s a big fat lie. This place is noisy and cramped, and it smells faintly damp, but for now, it’s home.
Understandably, Sienna is reluctant to leave me, but after convincing her for the millionth time that I’m okay, I deadbolt the front door and then rush to the window so I can wave her off down the street.
When I spin around and look at my new space, sadness washes through me.
A sob rips from my throat as I stumble to my couch and curl up. I’ve barely been here forty-eight hours, and all I want to do is leave.
The thought of bringing a baby up here terrifies me. But there’s a good chance I won’t have any other option.
The music from the apartment next door continues, but by some miracle, I fall asleep.
When I wake, the sun is setting outside, and I’ve got a serious crick in my neck from the awkward position I was in.
With a sigh, I drag my exhausted body from the couch and pad toward the kitchen.
I pull a bottle of water from the fridge, discovering that despite it being in there since last night, it’s not cold. I twist the dials on the inside, before swinging the door closed with a frustrated growl. I’m not hopeful it’ll make any difference.
As I twist around, my cell lights up on the counter.
Grabbing it, I find a promotional email for products for the salon, but I quickly discover that I’ve got a whole pile of notifications.
There are messages from Sienna to let me know she got home safely.
She’s also sent some links to things she thinks might help warm this place up a little.
I ignore them because I refuse to spend a single dollar more than I have to on this place.
Every single spare cent I have is going into savings to help get me out of here.
There’s some other spam that I delete, and just as I tap to delete the final email in my inbox on autopilot, I pause, my heart jumping to my throat.
The results.
I don’t know why I’m nervous. I know what it’s going to say.
Everett Donnelly is the only man I’ve slept with in a very long time. There is no doubt in my mind that he’s the father.
I think I’m nervous for him, which is equally as stupid.
My hand trembles as I swipe my screen and open the email. I scan through the text until I find the inevitable.
Everett Donnelly is the father of my child.
I stumble back to the couch with my eyes locked on the result.
Tears burn my eyes.
Is he reading this right now?
Does he already know?
Or is he too busy to check his emails?
Maybe he doesn’t care and hasn’t been waiting for it like I have.
Despite attempting to stalk him online for the past week, there has been nothing.
No parties, no women.
It’s like he walked out of that hospital and became a ghost.
Guilt twists up inside me. I hate that he might be hiding because of me.
From what I’ve learned online, Everett loves to party, and the fact he’s not now…well, I can’t help but jump to conclusions.
The reality is that it probably has nothing to do with me. He probably hasn’t given me or the baby he saw on the screen last week a second thought.
Absently, my hand presses against my stomach, protecting my little one.
I suck in a deep breath through my nose and blow it out through my mouth in the hope of slowing my racing heart, but it doesn’t do anything.
Finally, I close the email and open Sienna’s messages.
Bea: The results are in …
She instantly begins typing.
Sienna: Has he messaged?
Bea: Not yet. Do you think he will?
Sienna: He said he would.
Bea: I’m sure he makes a lot of promises to a lot of women…
Sienna: This is different.
Bea: Is it?
I drop my cell into my lap and flop back on the couch as thoughts spiral through my mind.
What happens next? What if he doesn’t reach out? Am I going to go through Hailee again? Or worse, am I going to have to get a lawyer?
Do I want to fight him for anything, though?
Sure, he has money that would come in handy to raise a kid. But do I want it if he isn’t interested?
I know my baby deserves it, but…I’m not sure it sits right with me.
It’ll make me just as bad as the women who go out of their way to get something from men like Everett. That’s not who I am.
If I wanted the money and the status, I could use my own name. But I don’t. I wanted to get away from that life and the benefits that come with it.
Deciding against sitting here wallowing in self-pity, I push to my feet and march toward my bedroom. While we might have put my clothes away, I still have plenty of things to sort through and find homes for.
My cell buzzes as I step into the room and I lift it, thinking it’s Sienna replying, but my heart stops in my throat at what I find.
Unknown: I’m sorry.
“Holy shit,” I gasp.
I don’t open it for fear of showing I read it that fast. Instead, I hit call on Sienna’s contact and put it on speaker.
“He messaged,” I shout the second the call connects.
There’s a beat of silence, making me think she didn’t hear me.
“He messaged,” I repeat.
“Yeah, I heard. I just…shit. What did he say?”
“I’m sorry.”
“What the fuck does that mean?”
“I don’t know,” I say as I begin pacing back and forth in my new tiny bedroom.
“Is he sorry for getting you pregnant? For being an asshole who didn’t believe you? Or is that his way of telling you he doesn’t want to get involved?”
“I don’t know,” I repeat, my voice quiet and unsure.
“Have you replied?”
“No. Should I?”
“Bea,” she warns.
“I know, I know. It’s too late to play games. We’re already past that. I just…what if he wants nothing to do with us?”
“Then he’s a stupid motherfucker who has no idea what he’s going to miss out on.”
My legs stop, and I lower myself onto the edge of my bed.
“Yeah,” I breathe as my tears finally drop.
They’re not for me. I don’t care if Everett is in my life or not. To be honest, it’ll probably be way less drama and stress if he’s not. But life isn’t about me anymore. It’s about the little nugget we both saw on that screen last week.
Everyone knows Everett Donnelly as this self-obsessed, arrogant hockey player. Is he going to be able to see past that and put someone else above him and his needs, or will my baby always come second best to a game?