5. Maggie #2
Honestly, I hadn’t made much effort to reconnect with friends since returning home from college.
My sole focus was practicing, training, and caring for the horses, being there for my dad…
meaning I had no one. Or at least, no one close enough to talk to about this .
One name, however, glowered at me through my contact list: Jack Hennicke.
It was already dark out and pouring down rain.
There was no way I was going over there and telling him this, especially in my current mental state.
He was the last person I wanted to know what was going on at that moment because I was pretty sure if I so much as saw his face, I would break down all over again.
I left my phone on the floor and set out to the kitchen for something to cure at least one thing: my appetite.
I wanted to empty the contents of my stomach, but it would give me something to do—at least for a few minutes.
The only appetizing food in the refrigerator was last night’s pork roast, so I pulled it out and plated it for the microwave.
While it heated, I pulled a notebook and pen from the junk drawer to write down a plan.
I could sulk all I wanted, but at least I could do something about it.
But when my pen hit the paper, my mind went blank.
What did you do when you were twenty-two, alone, and pregnant?
Adoption and abortion were dismissed the moment they crossed my mind. I couldn’t do either of those things without wondering what my child would be like for the rest of my life.
A melodic noise I thought was the microwave distracted me from my notebook. I glanced toward the microwave, but it was still heating my dinner. The noise sounded again, and it took me all but five seconds to realize it was the doorbell ringing.
Well, shit. I was not in the right state of mind for company. I wiped some smeared mascara that had smudged beneath my eyes and smoothed my hair in the hallway mirror before opening the front door. And what do you know, it was the man of the fucking hour.
Jack Hennicke stood before me under the small awning above the door, his hair and white t-shirt soaked, and his hands in his pockets. He looked unsure of himself, a rare occurrence from the famously confident playboy. My eyes widened at the sight of him.
“Hey.” His eyes met mine.
Did he do this on purpose? Was this some evil practical joke from the universe, urging him to show up at my front door minutes after I found out I was pregnant with his baby ?
The hair on my arms stood as I took him in. This man. Was the father . Of my child.
Our child.
How the hell did this happen?
“Hi.” I tried to act as nonchalant as possible. Like I was definitely not carrying his baby, and I was definitely not just crying on the bathroom floor because of it. “What’s up?”
“I, uh, kind of need to talk to you. Is it okay if I come in?”
My heart dropped at his question, not romantically, but out of pure fear.
No. Don’t come in. Go home and never come back.
My entire body shook with nerves. With the fact that my body was permanently intertwined with his from the baby I was carrying inside of me. I could barely hold it together.
But of course, my body absent-mindedly decided to step back and open the door a little wider for him to come inside.
Jack looked at the ground and made his way through the door.
He waited for me to close it before starting toward the kitchen, where then, go figure, the microwave beeped.
I jumped back into consciousness and attempted to get ahead of him and hide my notebook of plans for our baby before realizing I hadn’t even written anything.
He reached the kitchen and sat on the island barstool across from where the notebook lay open.
He didn’t seem to take notice of anything.
His eyes were distant with whatever was on his mind.
I sat down in front of the notebook and quickly closed it, pushing it off to the side. “So, what did you want to talk about?” I asked.
His gaze roamed my face. I nearly withered beneath it, afraid that he would look too close. His brows furrowed. “Are you okay, Maggie?”
“Yes, why?” I replied quickly. The best way to get him out of here was to get through whatever he needed to talk to me about and send him on his way.
“I don’t know, you seem a little…frazzled. Have you been crying?”
Shit. I forgot about my bloodshot eyes. I could’ve said I was drunk, but he knew I didn’t drink alcohol. “No, I’m all good. Just in the middle of something. But what’s on your mind?”
I could tell from the look in his eye that he didn’t believe me in the slightest. “Is it your dad? You thinking about that night?”
If I was shivering before, I felt like I was in the Arctic now. How could he know?
When I didn’t answer, Jack asked, “You sure you’re okay?”
The growl in his voice at the mention of him was so prominent, I wanted to cry. Why did he care so much?
My body was not used to all of these shots at once. Finding out I was pregnant was one thing, but the reminder of my dad’s issues was a beast I had yet to conquer. What Jack didn’t know was that the events following my dad’s drunken actions were probably the reason we were here right now.
“I’m okay.” I nodded. Jack looked at me for more reassurance. “Really, I am.”
He sighed, still looking particularly bothered.
“Okay, well, there’s no easy way to say this,” he started. Oh, God. He was going to break off our friends-with-benefits and then I would really be screwed—in the non-literal way. I would have to tell him about the baby. And then he would think it was a ploy to make him stay.
I am so fucked.
I prepared myself for the worst. “I’m, uh…” he cleared his throat. “I took a job in Wyoming. Mike Luna, if you’ve heard of him, asked if I would be his pro for the season this summer. I’m moving on Wednesday.”
My heart dropped. He was moving ?
It was the last thing I expected to come out of his mouth.
His words weren’t nonchalant. They were nearly apologetic.
Jack had no idea the gravity of his announcement.
And here I was, left to pick up the pieces.
I resisted the urge to start crying, but I couldn’t stop myself from hyperventilating.
From taking in everything he just said to me in deep, rushed breaths.
The world was caving in, and soon, it would only be my fatherless baby and me.
Jack jumped up from his chair and rounded the counter, placing his warm, rough hands on my arms. “Mags, what’s going on?”
Would I miss this when he left? His not-so-accidental touching? His overwhelming worry for me?
Jack was a good person. And despite how much I couldn’t see him as a father, he cared for me. For his family. For everyone. This was his chance to get out of Forrest Hills. To work on his own merit. And now I was carrying his baby.
How bad was it that I felt guilty?
“Wow, that’s great news, Jack.” My voice quivered, and I didn’t dare look him in the eye. I felt like a shriveled piece of nothing, falling apart before him. “I’m really happy for you. Just a little sad about losing the job, that’s all.”
My eyes squinted closed to stop tears from streaming down my face. God, this was even worse than I imagined. Even if Jack wanted to stay and help with the baby, he was moving two thousand miles away. There was no denying it. Now I really was on my own.
“Maggie.” His voice was firm and gentle all at once, making me even more afraid to keep this from him.
I had to say it. It was wrong to keep him from something that was his, whether he wanted it or not. “Jack, I’m pregnant,” I admitted through a sob.
What the hell was going on with me?
Scratch that. What the hell was going on with the world right now?
When my breathing subsided, I dared to peek up at Jack, whose face was frozen.
The color drained from his face as the grip of his hands on mine loosened.
He looked like he had dissociated from his body.
I didn’t blame him, though. My initial reaction was much more dramatic than his.
He deserved the time to process this, just like I had given myself.
Jack released my arms to grip and turn my barstool so my body faced him, and reached for me.
He pulled me into him and rested his chin on my head.
I nestled into his chest and—for the second time—let him shield me from the world.
I didn’t know how long we stayed like that.
Me hyperventilating in his arms, and him just holding me, silent, with no movements.
“When did you find out?” he asked, not letting me go. Neither of us could look each other in the eye right now, face what happened head-on, yet.
“Thirty minutes ago.” I sniffled. “I was a week late and…and my birth control said 91% effective, so I–I went to the drugstore and bought two tests.”
Jack inhaled a sharp breath. “And both were positive?”
I nodded into his wet shirt, now more soaked with tears than rain. It clung to his body as tightly as I did.
“Mags…” he started, his voice barely a whisper. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?” I pulled slightly out of his arms. I was hardly brave enough to look into his eyes during this conversation. “You couldn’t have known. Neither of us could have. I’m not blaming you in any way. I just need to know…what you want.”
“Maggie, I don’t think either of us wants this. But if you do…”
My brows lowered. “You think I want this? Do you think I wanted our little ‘friendship’ to result in a pregnancy? Trust me, Jack, this is the last thing I want.”
“I-I know that. I know that,” he sputtered and ran a hand through his damp hair. I took in a shaky breath before his eyes softened.
“I can’t get rid of this baby, but…Jack, I can’t raise a kid on my own,” I confessed.
“Maggie, whatever gave you that idea? You think I’d knock you up and just leave you?” My lack of answer made him retreat in defense. His Adam’s apple worked as he swallowed hard.
“No–I…maybe? I don’t know, you don’t seem like the type to settle down and take care of an unwanted kid.”
“Neither do you, with your whole thing about never getting married,” he retorted.
“Okay, that’s not fair. You know what happened with my parents. I’m not putting myself through that.”
“That’s because you have shitty parents!”
Regret covered his face as soon as the words left his mouth.
“I’m sorry. That was uncalled for.”
I took a breath and looked away.
“Let’s just talk this out, yeah? Neither of us wants this, but this is what happened. I expect you to help support your kid financially because God knows I can’t afford to do it alone.”
Jack took a deep breath, frustration and determination lingering in his eyes. His voice dropped an octave. “If you think, for one second, that I’m not going to do everything I can for this kid, then you’re out of your goddamn mind. We’ll co-parent. End of conversation.”
My breath caught.
It was unexpected. I did not think Jack would step up to the plate so quickly, if at all. His firmness in the matter comforted me.
“Thank you.” I looked up at him with more vulnerability than I meant to show. Jack’s hands moved to cup my face. My eyes rested on his while we searched each other for answers. I wanted to lean into his touch.
“Of course. We can do this.”
I appreciated his willingness to be there more than anything. Suddenly, I was a little less alone. If everything went to hell, maybe Jack would let himself fall through the cracks with me. “But if you’re going to Wyoming…do you know how long you’ll be there?”
Jack took a deep breath, but gears turned behind his gaze. “I don’t know.”
“I mean, I’ll keep you up to date on everything. You can fly back for doctor’s appointments if that’s what you–”
“Come with me,” he interrupted.
I raised my brows in shock. He wanted me to come to Wyoming with him to, what, keep him occupied? I had a life here. I didn’t have a job anymore, but my dad was in Pennsylvania. It was where I was supposed to be moving up in my career. It was all I knew. “Come with you? To Wyoming?”
He nodded. “It would be perfect. You could keep working for me, and I could keep tabs on you and the baby.”
The words “keep tabs” instead of “help take care of” hit me in the gut. I wasn’t moving my life across the country so he could keep tabs on me, but it would sure be a step up from living with my dad, who knew very little about pregnancy and babies since he was away for most of my mom’s pregnancy.
“I don’t know, Jack. It’s a lot. My dad is here, and what would I do there? You’re the one with a job. I would need to find someone to play for.”
“No, you couldn’t, Mags. You can’t ride when you’re pregnant.”
“Wh-what?” Jack telling me what to do with my body while I was pregnant would have infuriated me if I didn’t already know he cared so damn much, but it was a punch to the gut, nonetheless.
I had lived my entire life riding horses and playing polo.
What would I do for nine months—likely more—without my passion?
He sighed. “My mom went through it, so I know firsthand how easy it is to lose a baby if you so much as fall off a horse.”
“Oh, God, I’m so sorry.” I placed my hands on his arms. “I wouldn’t ride if it was that big of a risk.” Riding horses while pregnant was controversial in equestrian sports. Some people had no issue with it, while others were firmly against it.
“Good,” he answered with conviction. “So, you’ll come with me?”
I weighed my options. I really didn’t have a lot of time to decide.
He was leaving in three days. The only person I needed to discuss this with was my dad.
But he would lose his mind if he found out I was pregnant.
He would lecture me about being irresponsible and try to guilt me into getting rid of the baby.
I couldn’t handle that right now. I needed to make those decisions with the father of my baby, and no one else. I would just…leave out the fact that I was pregnant for now. He could handle being on his own. He did it during my four years of college.
This was my decision. My life. I needed to trust myself and take a leap of faith before this little town swallowed me whole. There was an entire world out there, and Jack was offering it to me with both hands. This was my chance.
So, I took a deep breath and said the words I knew would change the rest of my life. “Yes, Jack. I’ll come to Wyoming with you.”