14. Maggie
Chapter fourteen
Maggie
C onsidering how bad my nerves were before arriving at the Luna’s house, dinner was actually going well.
I was learning how to lie with ease and how to pretend that Jack and I were happy in the marriage we portrayed.
Letting myself fall into the belief that it could be real was a dangerous path—one I should not have been letting myself go down.
Just for tonight, I told myself. Just get through tonight, and you can go back to being mad at him .
But the truth was, after his admission about trying to be a good man for me, I had completely forgiven him.
I could tell he wanted what was best for both of us, and if he couldn’t open up about his feelings right away, then so be it.
We had only truly gotten to know each other over the last few weeks, and it would take time for him to completely open up, especially since he hid his struggles from the world like nobody’s business.
Now, it was just a matter of keeping myself safe.
If Jack kept saying those sweet words about me and convincing other people how in love with me he was, I was afraid I might start to believe him.
The way he gripped my hand throughout the entire dinner, the way he looked at me like I was the only person that mattered, the way he promised he would take care of our baby without question.
It was a slippery slope jumping between acting like his wife and trying to get to know him as the mother of his child.
I had enough going through my head. The last thing I needed was to fall in love with Jack Hennicke.
The ride back to our house was silent, and I was completely lost on how I was supposed to feel. Part of me wanted to keep him at the same distance he was keeping me. Give him the space he asked for.
The other part wanted to talk until morning and figure everything out between us.
He quietly opened the front door for me, as if there were a reason we needed to keep the noise down. I only got a few steps before I turned around and bumped into his hard chest. His arms caught mine to keep me from losing my balance, and I forced myself to look into his eyes.
All that time I had to think about what I wanted to say to him, at dinner, in the truck, and I came up with nothing.
I had so much to say to him, and yet I couldn’t find it in me to execute words.
My bottom lip quivered as I breathed through my nerves.
Jack’s stare bored into mine intensely, as if he was feeling the same hopelessness and desperation about our back and forth that I was.
My reckless attempt at seducing him before dinner was coming back to haunt me.
There was no doubt in my mind that he would take advantage of our proximity and dissolve the tension between us.
Our chemistry was palpable, but I needed to keep myself in check. For the baby. If today was any indication of future problems in our relationship, I needed to zero in on communicating with my new baby daddy and map out where things were going with us.
But he decided to ruin my plans and make me question why I denied anything.
He tucked my hair behind my ears with both hands, caressing the strands until his fingertips reached the ends. A shivery breath left his lips as they met my forehead and then my cheek. “Goodnight, Maggie.”
And with that, he walked past me and up the stairs, leaving me with four million questions and the desire to jump into his bed and figure out what the hell we wanted.
I reluctantly dragged myself into my room to change into my pajamas and turned on my bathroom faucet to wash my face. I squinted my eyes to keep the water from invading them before noticing something strange-looking about the toilet. Either the flushing level didn’t work or…
I screamed bloody murder as a hiss and two beady eyes emerged from the porcelain bowl, and I jumped backward, knocking myself into the door and falling to the ground.
Scrambling to get up a few times—and bruising my shins along the way—I slammed the bathroom door shut and burst into Jack’s bedroom, not bothering to knock.
My heart was racing frantically, and catching Jack in nothing but his gray sweatpants doing pushups on the floor didn’t help.
“Jack! Jack! Come into my bathroom right now!” I screeched.
“Woah, woah, Mags. What’s going on?” He asked, too calm for the current situation. His muscles flexed as he brought himself to stand, towering over me.
“Jack, there is a snake in my toilet!”
“What?”
“Yes!” I cried. “I can do anything but snakes. Can you please help me get it out?”
Jack dashed past me and into my bathroom to retrieve the unwanted visitor.
Because I was in no state of mind to do anything sane, I found myself crawling under the covers of Jack’s perfectly-made bed and hiding until he returned.
I didn’t have a reason. It just felt safe here. My own bed hadn’t even been slept in.
Though he most likely had not even touched the bed yet, the covers still felt warm and smelled so…
Jack. I nuzzled my cheek against the pillow I slept on the night before and closed my eyes, attempting to slow my heart rate.
A few deep breaths and adjustments later, I was almost completely relaxed.
The door to Jack’s room creaked open, and I slid my head under the covers so my hair wasn’t visible.
“Mags,” Jack chuckled. “Snake’s gone.”
“ Don’t say that word in this house ever again,” my muffled voice warned from beneath the blankets. Another chuckle followed the weight of the mattress dipping.
No. No, no, no. Jack was not sliding into bed with me. Not again.
“What are you doing?”
“Just getting into bed.” His voice was too normal. This was not normal. Why had I even crawled into his bed in the first place?
“But I’m in here.”
“Do you want me to take your bed since you’ve gotten so comfy?” he joked, but I seriously considered taking him up on his offer. His sheets felt so good against my skin.
“Mmm,” was my only reply. I deepened my position on the mattress but froze when I felt Jack getting under the covers with me. “Jack…”
“You’re in my bed, Maggie. If you want to sleep alone, go sleep in your bed.” The rumble of his voice made me want to stay so badly.
“I’m mad at you.”
“No, you’re not.”
“Yes, I am.” I absolutely was not.
“You almost kissed me earlier. That tells me all that I need to know.”
Shit . I knew that would come back to bite me in the ass. Screw him and his knack for using my actions against me.
Rough fingertips grazed my shoulder, sending gooseflesh to the sensitive area. My back faced Jack, so I couldn’t see what he was doing, but my body was entirely aware of him touching me. “Did you wash your hands after touching that snake?”
Another chuckle left his mouth. “Yes, I did. No dirty hands here.”
I swore I heard a “yet” buried under there somewhere. Maybe it was just in my head, but God, did I want to comply. “Good,” I whispered.
What was going on with me? I felt like a disastrous mess.
Like a manila folder spilled onto the floor with its contents scattered everywhere.
I was upset with the man in bed with me one minute and craving his body on mine the next.
What I wouldn’t give to feel him just one more time.
Fuck, I was everywhere and nowhere in my head right now.
“Maggie, I–”
“It’s the hormones,” I blurted out. I didn’t even know what was true anymore. Lying all night was starting to get to me. Jack was starting to get to me—and not in the way I wanted. But I had already done enough pretending for the night. I wanted something real.
“What’s the hormones?” he asked patiently.
“What’s making me want you so badly,” I admitted under my breath.
Jack inhaled sharply as his fingers dragged down my arm to my waist.
What was one more night?
One more opportunity for you to feel more things than you should.
“Maggie…” Jack started with a warning tone. “Are you sure you want this?”
“No.” I honestly had no idea what I wanted.
I told Jack I wanted to know his feelings, but I was scared that would lead to things I wasn’t ready to confront yet.
A level of care that might wreck my heart.
I told myself I wanted to get closer to him, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to stop if I got too close.
Nothing was constant. Nothing stayed the same.
I needed something that held still and wouldn’t shift throughout this pregnancy, this relationship, this lifetime.
This eternal attraction toward Jack felt like the only thing that hadn’t changed since I found out I was pregnant.
But the consequences of acting on that attraction?
Those were precarious.
“Then, no.” The firm answer came from behind me as Jack grasped my chin to face him. His blonde waves flopped over his forehead. His brown eyes creased in frustration. He looked so good. So worried.
“No?”
“We can figure out what’s going on with us, or we can leave it in the open. But until both of us are sure of what we want, nothing can happen.”
“Agreed.” I swallowed. It felt like we’d had this talk ten times before and always came to the same conclusion. Except one of us always caved and came back to the other.
Not this time , I told myself.
“No more of this.” I turned to face him, focusing my eyes on the wall that was his bare chest. “We’re done with it until we can define what we are. For real.”
The words that left my mouth were true…except the idea of Jack taking my lips with as much passion as he admired them heated my core. Tempted me to push his buttons and find out whether or not he would fall victim to our sexual attraction.
“Deal.” His voice faded into a whisper as his fingers traced the contour of my face, and his stare became intense again.
My teeth sawed my bottom lip. I ignored the tingling throughout my body and clenched my thighs at the sight of the gorgeous man in front of me.
His lips parted, his scent taking over my body, his hair ruffled.
The amount of willpower I displayed by not wrapping my arms around his neck and pressing my body against him shouldn’t have been possible with how perfect he looked.
But whatever discipline I prided myself on having, Jack didn’t care.
He pulled me against his body, anyway. Let his thickening cock nestle between us like it didn’t matter we shouldn’t do this.
His hands traced the curves of my body like he was memorizing them.
He was branding me, burning me. Lust burned below my hips.
Heat spread between my legs. Red flushed through my cheeks.
All I could hear was Jack’s heavy breathing, and I wished it was because he was burying himself inside of me.
His gaze caught mine again, and I barely registered his words. “Starting after this.”
Jack’s lips crashed onto mine without hesitation, pulling me flush against him and forcing my mouth open.
My gasp of surprise allowed him to tangle his tongue with mine, exploring every part of my mouth like it was the first time he was kissing me.
Just like he always did. Except it wasn’t the first time.
Every time he kissed me, surprise took over before the familiarity of him set in.
Starting after this.
I couldn’t get enough.
I may as well have taken advantage. Jack gripped my ass with both hands.
I wrapped my legs around him and licked into his mouth.
My hands tangled into his blonde locks, guiding him exactly where I wanted.
He moved along my jawline and down my neck in short, heavy breaths.
His lips seared my skin, branding me with his tongue.
Everywhere he touched turned to fire. A low groan escaped his mouth as he moved back to my lips.
I grasped his roots harder and melted into our kiss.
Jack felt like everything I was missing.
The one person I could rely on enough without feeling codependent.
He made me feel caught up enough in my feelings that I forgot—just for a second—how easily he could leave me in the dust. How easily we could turn into the aftershock of my parents’ disaster.
I should have known it was ending from the intensity lessening each time his lips took mine.
Deep, intimate kisses turned into light pecks Jack placed on my lips, needing to end it but not ready to let go.
My hands fought my resistance to keep him close as he pulled away and met my eyes.
Mine held uncertainty and fear. His might have held the most desperation I had ever seen.
His voice was a low, hoarse whisper. “Starting now.”
My mind was so glazed over from the kiss that I could barely comprehend the words coming from his mouth. I too focused on the way his lips moved, the swelling apparent from my teeth in the midst of our kiss. “What?”
“I hope you enjoyed that, sweetheart, ‘cause it’s the last time it’s going to happen. At least, for now.” His accent bled through clear as day, not an ounce of regret on his face.
I cleared my throat and held out my hand to shake his. “Friends. Deal?”
He took it, and I didn’t miss the way his thumb caressed the top of it. “Friends who are having a baby together. Deal.”