Chapter 14 Eliza
Eliza
Idon’t know how Mac did it, but he somehow without trying managed to calm all my nerves.
My stomach was in so many knots when I opened the door that I was surprised I hadn’t puked, but within minutes of him arriving, those knots slowly undid themselves and I was able to relax.
I found myself at ease in a way I’ve never experienced with a man, so much so that I ended up crawling into his lap to make out.
When he told me that we weren’t taking this any further tonight, I was disappointed, but also relieved.
As much as I want to sleep with Mac, I’m not sure if I’d enjoy it as much with me rushing into it and forcing it.
As it is, it’s part of some agreement that we’ve come to rather than being in a serious and committed relationship.
His speech made me feel taken care of and like he’s putting my needs above his own even if I don’t know exactly what those are.
We’re quiet as the movie continues to play.
Leaned into his side, I’m enveloped by the smell of him.
I can smell his cologne but also traces of what I think are just him.
It takes strength not to turn and bury my nose in his side and inhale.
I’m so relaxed, though, that I fall asleep before the movie ends.
When I finally wake up, I’m still curled into his side, but I have a blanket pulled over me in a way that I can tell he did it without moving me and he’s scrolling on his phone.
I rub my eyes and sit up, working to gather my bearings. “I’m sorry I fell asleep,” I say.
He shakes his head and locks his phone. “It’s not a problem. You must have been tired.”
Tired is an understatement. I haven’t been sleeping well the last few weeks.
Even when I am tired after work, I either manage to get a second wind that has me up for hours, or when I lie in bed my brain won’t shut off and I end up tossing and turning.
My nap against Mac has been the most restful sleep I’ve had in I don’t know how long.
I’m not ready for him to leave, so I quickly blurt, “Are you hungry?”
The corner of his mouth twitches, and he says, “I could eat.”
My responding smile is full-blown as I push off the couch and head to the kitchen to see what I have hidden away in my cabinets and fridge. “No allergies?” I call out.
“Just penicillin, but I doubt you’re cooking with that.”
I laugh and smile, never having heard this witty side of him before.
I find all the ingredients to make pasta and get to work.
Mac joins me, asking if he can help with anything, and I brush him off, telling him to have a seat.
Cooking is something I love to do for people.
I hate cooking for myself, but for my friends and family, it’s a whole different experience.
I put some music on softly as I move around the kitchen. When it’s finished, I fill a bowl and place it in front of Mac saying, “Bon appetit.”
I watch anxiously as he takes his first bite of food. He doesn’t say anything until he notices me watching him intently. “It’s very good.”
I sigh and dig into mine. “So, tell me about your childhood,” I say, and he raises a brow at me as he wipes his mouth with a napkin.
I haven’t been very head-on in asking him a lot of questions about him or his life, but if I’m supposed to play the part of doting and devoted girlfriend I need to start learning about him.
“I was born and raised in London until I was fifteen. When my parents separated, my mom moved out of the city and my father sent me to a boarding school. When he decided to open a new branch of his company in Vancouver and move here, he brought me with him, sending me to a new boarding school. He hated that I played ice hockey, but he let me keep doing it so I wouldn’t fight him about moving here.
Even though the school was here in Vancouver, I didn’t see him much, which was all well and good.
I attended university for business and started working for my father’s company.
He moved back to London around the same time I started at the company. ”
I nod, taking in everything he’s saying, but I roll my lips together because it doesn’t really answer my question.
“Something wrong?” he asks.
I shake my head. “No, not exactly wrong, just that was like a summary of your life. I want to know about your childhood.”
He stares at me thoughtfully for a few moments before asking, “Like? Why don’t you give me an example.”
I wipe my mouth with my napkin and settle it in my lap.
“I was born in Vancouver. My parents are Eliana and William Pierce. My father is a tax lawyer, and mother is an accountant. We spent every Sunday going to church in the morning followed by a full day of family activities. We played board games, attended concerts, went to museums, those kind of things. My parents are the reason I’m so competitive at board games, they never let me win.
Math was always my favourite subject, probably because I was good at it.
Numbers made sense to me. My parents were, are, very conservative.
They were always checking what I watched on TV, who my friends were, looking into every aspect of my life.
There were things we just didn’t talk about because it was taboo in my house.
I kept my friendships away from my parents because in the fifth grade they told me I couldn’t be friends with my best friend anymore because she was a bad influence.
All she had done was dye her hair an unnatural colour, and it was too much for them.
I found refuge in books because my parents had no idea what they could contain.
I read almost a book a day by the time I hit high school.
My parents still live in our family home.
I don’t get out to visit them as often as I should, but walking back into that house is like thrusting me back into my childhood. ”
“Are your parents' beliefs what lead to your...resolution?”
I nod. As uncomfortable as the rest of this conversation may be, it’s important that Mac know.
“Yes. They were very anti-sex growing up. Pushed the sex should be saved for marriage mantra at me. I believed it for a long time because that was the only information I was being fed. I took an anthropology course on sex, gender, and culture and was fascinated. I ended up doing a lot of research and stepped away from my parents' beliefs. But at that point it was also not a subject I wanted to talk about openly. My best friends don’t even know I’m a virgin.
Talking about sex is still not easy, but I don’t hold the same taboo views I did.
I’ve gotten better about listening to others talk about it, sharing their stories and experiences, but I don’t think I can. ”
He takes my hand and presses a soft kiss to the back of it and then holds it on the table, his thumb slowly moving over the back of it.
”Like I said, I was born in London. My father is English like you saw when you met him, but my mom is Scottish.
My first name is a family name she insisted they use.
I’m an only child, which I’m not sure is a blessing or curse.
My father wasn’t around much growing up, but I was close with my mom until she left when my parents separated.
My father refused to let me go with her.
I spent a lot of my childhood doing things with her.
She was really into art and would take me to art galleries and classes.
By the time I was a teenager, I wasn’t half bad.
When she moved out, I stopped painting. My father didn’t approve and it lost the joy it had when I would do it with my mom. ”
Sadness fills me at the thought of Mac losing something like that. Not only did he lose his mom, but he lost his connection to her, too. His father already made me wary, but hearing this makes my feelings towards him harden.
We move our conversation to something less heavy, and when I walk to him to the door to say goodbye, he grips my chin and leans down for a kiss. When I close the door behind him, I fall against it. I think I may be in some deep trouble when it comes to Mackenzie Carrington.