Chapter 52
Eliza
When Hannah came back with none of my stuff except my favourite couch rot blanket I broke down into tears.
Not because she didn’t bring my things, but because she said Mac specifically handed it to her and asked that she make sure I get it.
He noticed how it was my favourite and how often I used it and knew that it was the one thing I’d want right now, and he’s right.
It was the way Mac learned all of those little things about me that really had me falling for him, and to see them once again put into action was just another reminder that while I may not have him anymore, I still love him.
I still have to figure out how I’m getting the rest of my things, but Hannah said she’d talk to Mac and figure it all out for me.
She seemed a bit off, but I don’t have the energy or desire to push to find out more.
She helps me load my stuff into her car and drives me home.
I want to be away from people and disassociate from my own life for the next few days.
Hannah
Will you meet me at the Clover later?
I look down at myself, curled up on my couch.
I’m wearing the same pyjamas I’ve been in for three days, my hair is pulled back in an oily, messy low ponytail, and I smell like I haven’t showered in days, because I haven't.
I still have a few days before I have to return to work, and finding the energy to put myself together right now is not high on my list of things I want to do.
Eliza
Not tonight.
Hannah
Please. I want to talk.
Eliza
You can come over.
Hannah
I have a craving for the wings at Clover though. Plllleeeeeaassseee.
Sighing, I drop my hand heavily against the couch. When Hannah pulls out the dragged out please like that, it makes me feel like a bad friend. I let out a deep breath and start thinking about all the things I’d need to do look presentable enough to leave my apartment.
I bend my head and smell myself and decide that I really do need a shower.
After five minutes of hyping myself up to find the energy, I slide off the couch and head into the washroom.
I take one of the longest showers I’ve had in years.
As I massage the shampoo into my hair, I almost break into tears remembering just how softly Mac did this for me after the gala.
I don’t know how long these memories will linger and come out at inconvenient times, but worse, I don’t know how long they’ll affect me like this.
When I finish my shower, I find something simple and comfortable to wear and stare at myself in the mirror.
The slight bags under my eyes and the sullen look in my eyes are a reminder of how I’ve been feeling the last few days.
I debate putting makeup on but decide against it.
I’m only meeting Hannah, and I don’t want to have to scrub it off later.
Eliza
I’m on my way.
Hannah
Running a little behind, but I called and they put a reserved sign on the corner booth for us.
I’m not surprised in the least that she’s running behind.
When I arrive at the bar, I quickly make my way to the table, wanting to be as far from people as possible.
Our server stops by, and I order a tequila and soda, needing some alcohol if I’m going to be out of my apartment right now.
As the drink is dropped off, I check my phone again, looking for an update from Hannah.
Before I lift my head, I can feel his presence. It’s like all the time we spent together has my entire body attuned to him, and I’m right because when I look up, standing at the edge of the table is Mac.
I close my eyes and take a deep breath before forcing a smile. “Hi,” I say, my voice not sounding as cheery as I hoped it would.
“Hi. Can I take a seat?”
“I’m meeting Hannah, she’ll be here in just a minute.” I silently pray that she’s walking through the door right now to save me.
“About that,” he starts, and a sinking feeling grows in my stomach. “I asked her to get you here tonight.”
I stare at him, because what the fuck am I supposed to say to that?
My best friend betrayed me and I’m now in public with the last person I want to be with.
When I don’t say anything, he slides in across from me.
Wanting to get this over with as soon as possible, I ask, “When are you moving to London?”
He shakes his head. “I”m not.”
“Your father...” I start, and he reaches out and takes my hand. I can’t take my eyes off our connection. I’m torn between wanting to pull away and wanting to interlock our fingers.
“Eliza, when you asked me if I had thought about moving back to London and I said that Vancouver is home, I meant it. Vancouver is where I want to be because you’re here.”
I pull my hand back and set it in my lap. “What about your job? Your father said you were to move back to London.”
“I don’t care what he said.”
Tears brim on the edge of my eyes. “You asked me to be your fake girlfriend all for the purpose of getting you this job, and I’m now supposed to believe you’d give it all up?” I can’t help the disbelieving laugh that leaves me.
“Do you remember the night in London when you convinced me to play Uno but with drinks?”
I nod and close my eyes fighting my tears.
“Do you also remember when you said I could have asked anyone to be in a fake relationship with me because they’d all be stupid to say no?”
That was a thought I’d had the entire time we were in this arrangement. Mac’s ten years older than me, successful, handsome, and kind. Him wanting a fake relationship was confusing enough when he could have anyone he wanted, but that he asked me was confounding.
He continues, not waiting for my answer.
“I asked you because you were the person I wanted to do this with. I was already intrigued by you and then finding out what I did only enhanced that. You aren’t some consolation prize.
You’re the main prize. I wasn’t faking with you.
I’m ten years older than you and know you can do better than me, but the thought of having a chance to get to know you, to be with you, I couldn’t miss it. ”
I wipe at the tear that’s managed to escape. His words are hitting all the right points, but I’m also not sure I can trust just words. I was blindsided by his father’s mention of him moving, even if it’s not happening, it must have been discussed and I was never told.
“In the last six months, you’ve made me enjoy life more through the simple things.
I would leave work early just to be able to spend time with you.
I stopped working as many weekends so I could do things with you, even when it was just sitting in my flat with you.
And knowing that you could do better, I still fell in love with you.
At the birthday party when you all were talking about the crazy things the guys had done to get their girls.
I thought I’d have to do something big and crazy to tell you I love you.
To tell you I want to spend the rest of my life with you, if you’ll have me.
I had this big plan to take you to one of my favourite places in London and give you this. ”
He slides a black box across the table, and my jaw drops. My gaze flicks from the box to his face over and over.
“No, I’m not opening that,” I say.
He reaches forward and opens it, making sure the diamond ring inside is facing me.
I shake my head several times and point at it. “You can’t be giving me that, I know what that means. This was...” Seeing the ring and hearing his words, the words fake seem unable to leave my mouth, but that was what it was, at least to start.
“Not what either of us planned?” he offers.
Another tear falls, and I wipe at it.
“Mac.” I choke on his name and duck my head.
“Eliza, please look at me.”
I lift my head and he offers me his hand, but I don’t take it.
“Forget about how this started, let's focus on how it felt near the end. It felt right to me. Like the only place I belonged was with you in my arms and in my life. Did it feel like that for you, too?”
This is all too much and I need to process all of this, but I can’t do that in public or with him here. I start to slide out of the bench.
“I need...air and time...and to not be here.”
I grab my purse and rush out of the bar, panting when I hit the sidewalk and rushing to my car in case he followed me out. There’s only one place I can go right now, and that’s to kill my ex best friend.