Chapter 31
Daisy
The guys didn’t take as long as other times they’d been holed up in the room. But instead of jumping up like a lovesick puppy to look for Falcon, I sat and waited for him to come to me. I fought the urge to look over, but wondered what was taking so long. He probably stopped to chat with someone along the way.
After Eagle had snuggled up to Lacy and we carried on chatting for a few minutes, I was ready to roll my eyes when a bottle was put in front of me. “Figured you’d need a refill by now. Want to sit here for a while or head upstairs?”
Okay, point to Falcon for bringing me a drink and not waiting for a bunny to come over, and another for asking me what I wanted to do. Usually, he just told me. “I’m tired. We can go up.”
He held his hand out and helped me up, then pushed my chair back in behind me. I fought the grin because I didn’t want him to see how easily I’d cave. I needed at least a few more minutes of power. I really did want to have a serious discussion about what I needed, and I couldn’t do that if I just melted like always. But it was hard not to. Especially when he was so damn swoony.
Internally steeling my resolve, I grabbed my drink and said my goodbyes to the girls. Even though the walk to his room was short, I was already losing steam. I wasn’t even really mad at him. I was mad at myself. Mad at the situation I found myself in.
He shut the door and I stood, leaning against the wall near the small closet. He pulled his cut off and hung it up before walking to the dresser and emptying his pockets. I sipped my beer as I watched him pull his belt off then pull his shirt up over his head.
If I didn’t know better, I’d swear he was trying to distract me on purpose. His back was lined with strong muscles and beautiful artwork. Even with his clothes on, I loved it. Something about being tucked behind him on a ride with my arms around his wide frame made me feel just as protected as if I were wrapped up in his arms. Maybe it had to do with the fact that most women didn’t get to ride behind these guys. The whole fight with Sugar seemed to have stemmed from her taking issue with me so easily being invited onto the back of his bike. Even Jeannie and Mama Hen told me it was special to ride with them.
My thoughts were broken when Falcon turned and held out his hand. My brow pinched as I looked across the room. “Why are you showing me that?” He was holding out his cell phone.
“It’s yours. You needed one. Here you go.”
Okay so it was a phone not his phone. I walked closer and went to grab it. He jerked his hand away, so I smacked at his arm. “Hey! You said it’s mine.”
“Are you really mine, Daisy?”
The serious look on his face drained the fight from me. I stepped in closer and put my hand on his firm chest. “Yes, and you’re mine, right?”
He tossed the phone on the bed behind me and grabbed my hips. “I’m all yours and only yours.” He sighed. “Your desire for space is understandable. So is your desire to have your own money. But I wasn’t talking shit when I said it’s not safe right now. I need you to listen to me. Can you do that?”
I raised a brow but didn’t move away. “Do you mean listen or obey?”
“Sit down.”
I raised both brows this time and cocked my head.
His lips thinned before he said, “Please, sit down.”
Backing up, I sat on the bed and started taking my boots off. I scooted back to prop up on the pillows against the wall.
Falcon reached behind him on the dresser and grabbed a foil-wrapped chocolate. Once he chewed it up, he started. “You know the party we had? For Raven?”
I nodded. “Yeah. He died, right? ”
“He was killed.”
“Killed?” I knew we had a memorial, but nobody really talked about why or how it happened. I sort of assumed it was a bike accident. “Why?”
“We’re not really sure.” He leaned down to take his boots off and continued. “But he was our President for a long time. I know you’re new to all this, but anytime one of us is taken out, it’s a big deal. And for our President to be killed…well it’s basically like starting a war.”
As his words sank in, I started to realize this was bigger than my temper tantrum. “But who would do that?”
A rumble came from his chest. “We have some leads but nothing solid. And I have my eyes on a few things. Which is why I’ve been telling you right now is not a good time.” He walked over and sat on the edge of the bed next to me. His hand lifted and then lightly brushed over my cheek. I leaned into the soft touch and searched his eyes. “I don’t know what I’d do if anything happened to you, Daisy.”
I crawled closer, straddling his lap. Cupping his cheeks, I smiled at him. “Falcon, I understand. I just don’t know why you couldn’t have just told me that. And I’m sorry about Raven. That must have been really hard on you guys.”
“That’s another thing,” he said as he wrapped his arms around me. “You’re the most important person to me, but the club has to come first. Sometimes there’s gonna be things I can’t tell you. And I may have to leave, and you can’t know where I’m going. ”
Confusion and a hint of anger started to bubble up, but I kept my voice calm and low. “That doesn’t make sense. If I’m the most important thing, I should come first.”
“I wish it worked that way. But club business coming first means you stay safe. Lacy stays safe. Mama Hen, all of you. And the less you know, the better.”
My jaw clenched and I looked down.
“Tell me what you’re thinking.”
“Secrets and lies are how I ended up losing my freedom, Falcon.”
He squeezed me and leaned his forehead to mine. “Daisy, I’m not taking your freedom. I told you before, if you wanted to leave, I’d take you. But I wouldn’t leave you somewhere that’s not safe.”
“I don’t want to leave. I just want to have a life.”
“And you can have one with me,” he said as he jostled me on his lap. “You just have to trust me. And trust that I don’t want anything to happen to you.”
Looking down, I asked, “What happens when this isn’t fun for you anymore? I won’t have anything to my name. Not even a phone. That’s your phone.” I jerked my chin in the direction he’d tossed it.
He gripped my hips hard. “The phone is yours. All of this is yours.” He grabbed my hand and put it to his chest, right over his heart. “This is yours, Daisy.”
Butterflies flitted in my stomach, but there were still a few knots lingering. “For such a stoic guy, you sure do know all the right things to say. But I’m serious, Falcon. You haven’t known me long. And I’m not blind. I see how the guys here are. You’ll get tired of me, then what? Stay here and end up like Sugar?”
“If you’re comparing me to my brothers and how they act with the bunnies, you are blind. I never fucked with them before, and I definitely don’t give a fuck about them now. I see you watching me. I only see you, and you know it.”
I worried my lip, hating what I was about to ask, but I needed to know, and he was feeling share-y. “Have you been with Sugar?” I sucked in a breath; not sure I was ready for the answer. I never had been very possessive and neither of us were saints or virgins, but the thought of seeing someone who had been with him made me nauseated.
He laughed and the smile he had was one that hardly ever graced his handsome features. “Hell no. Shit.” He was laughing so hard he was shaking me.
Blowing out a sigh of relief, I asked, “Well, what’s her deal then?”
Once he stopped laughing, he answered, “The bunnies hang around because they wanna be old ladies. You gotta snag one of us to make that happen. When she came around, she zeroed in on me for some reason, but that wasn’t for me.”
Another question was nagging at me, and I figured I’d go on while I was on that track. “I know some of the men have wives and old ladies, but I’ve seen them with other women. Do you plan to have a side piece? ”
“Why would I need a side piece when I have five personalities in one?”
I threw a weak punch to his shoulder. “Don’t make jokes. I need to know. Things are different here and I don’t know if I can handle that.”
“Is that why you want to work? You think I’m gonna start fucking around and you can take off?”
I shrugged. “I watched my mom get beat up, cheated on, cheated with, you name it. I never want to be like her.”
“Is that why you were dancing?”
“I wanted away from her and that place. Dancing was the fastest way out.”
Falcon rubbed his hand over my hair then down my shoulder. He grabbed my chin and looked over my face. “I told you, I’m yours. Meaning only yours. And I told you that if you wanted to rock someone’s shit for looking at me sideways, then do it. Hell, once shit settles down, if you want to get a place of our own, we will.”
I ran my fingers through his beard and watched his lips. “I dunno. I kinda like it here. It’s like having a family.” Growing up wasn’t what I’d seen on TV. Even though this place was full of rowdy men and women, it still felt good to be surrounded by them. Even Lacy and I seemed closer than before.
“That’s exactly what it is. And we can stay if you want, but we can move, too. When we have kids, we may want to raise them away from the partying. ”
My stomach flipped. “Kids?” What the fuck?
“Well, yeah. Once this shit blows over, we can get started on living, darlin’.”
One thing I’d grown to know about this man since I met him was he said what he meant, and he meant what he said. The reverent look in his hazel eyes only solidified he was serious. “You’d want that? With me?”
“Woman, you got a thick skull. You know that?” He pulled me down and gave me a soft kiss. Even though it wasn’t his normal urgent and greedy kiss, it sent tingles all the way to my toes. “I’m not much of a talker but I like to think I tell you what’s important. Kids and shit seemed a little much to throw at you ‘til now. But I wanted you to know I think about that stuff, with you.”
I ran my hands over his cheeks and down his beard before grabbing it in my fists. “Falcon, I hope you know that my crazy need for freedom isn’t because I want space from you. I just want space for me . I was used to being on my own and then with the shit that I just went through…” I wasn’t sure how to end that. It still felt weird to even say out loud what really happened. And it was also embarrassing. How did I let myself get in that position? “But I’m happy here. And I’m happy with you. I guess I just can’t wrap my head around everything being normal. Before my ex, I thought things were normal, but I was young and didn’t know what that even meant. This feels like a home. I just wish I knew it was real.”
“I’ll show you every day, Daisy. You belong here and you belong with me. But now do you see why I don’t think it’s a good time to be at the strip club? ”
My shoulders fell and I nodded. “Yes, but I still want to work when things settle. I guess I can work at the tattoo shop for now.” He started to lean in for a kiss, but I halted him with both hands. “But I want an actual paycheck. Not just you tossing cash at me when I ask.”
“Well then I guess we have to get all the paperwork filled out so you can be legit.”
Shit . “I don’t have any ID. I lost everything.” It was another reminder of how I royally fucked up.
He grabbed my chin and pulled me to him. “We’ll take care of it soon. But first, I need to tell ya. I gotta take a ride up north.”
“Up north? Why?”
He tucked a loose hair behind my ear. “Club business. We go about once a month. That’s how I found you.”
“I guess I never thought to ask why you were up there. But how long are you going to be gone?” After just telling me how dangerous it was around here, it was unnerving for him to leave me here.
“Just a day and a half or so. We ride up, handle business, then ride back.”
“When?”
He sighed and tightened his arms around me. His hazel gaze locked on mine. “Tomorrow.”
“Fuck, Falcon! You just said it’s dangerous here and you want to leave me alone? ”
“It’s not dangerous here . Just hang out around the clubhouse ‘til I get back. You’ll barely notice I’m gone.”
I pushed his chest, but it didn’t make him budge. “What about the shop? You just told me I could work there.”
“For this one, just stay here. Next month, I’ll arrange a ride for you. Eagle rides with us, so he won’t be here, either. Spend some time with Lacy. Setup your phone. Get some rest. Do girly shit. I’ll be back before you miss me.”
“You don’t know that. And won’t you miss me?”
“Oh, I already miss you just thinking about it.”
“Well, show me then.”