Chapter Four
Vivian
“You can’t hide in here forever.” Falcon’s voice sounded behind me, deep and tinged with that thread of annoyance he never managed to conceal.
I said nothing at first because what was there to say?
The door closed behind him and a heavy sigh cut through the tense silence. I turned to face him and found him leaning against the door with his arms folded, a scowl on his face. “You might actually like them if you gave them a chance.”
I knew what he was doing, trying to get me to respond, or maybe he was trying to piss me off enough that I left the room.
It didn’t work. I turned and gave him my back once again, wrapping my arms around my legs while I stared into space.
I didn’t need his attitude, all I needed was him to keep TJ safe.
“I get it,” he sighed again, the sound of his weight leaving the door told me he was moving closer. “You’re too damn good for the likes of us.”
I knew what he was doing, again, but he’d hit his mark that time. I whirled around to frown at him, nearly falling off the bed. “Screw you.”
His lips curled into a satisfied smirk and one brow arched, sharp and mocking. “You did that already. Even left a note and went back to your rich boyfriend and forgot all about me for three goddamn years.”
His words were intentionally cruel, and they sliced through me effectively, but I absorbed the pain and let it callus over.
I needed to get stronger for what lay ahead and learning what he really thought of me would help.
It was easier for both of us if he hated me, a hell of a lot easier than the messy truth.
If he knew why I really ran it might change things.
I might want it to change things, so I kept it to myself.
I reminded myself that his incorrect assumptions didn’t matter because I’d be gone as soon as he had the proof he needed that TJ was his son.
“What,” he snapped, almost angry I refused to fight back. “No denial?”
Instead of answering, I pushed off the bed and blew out a heavy sigh.
I thought he knew me because I felt as if I knew him after those two weeks, but I was wrong.
Again. He didn’t know me, not if he believed the worst. “I don’t want my presence interfering with things around here,” I explained in a bland, emotionless voice. “I’m not supposed to be here. Just TJ.”
That shut him up for a full minute, the sound of life on the other side of the door invaded while he stared at me, jaw ticking as if he wanted to say something but couldn’t find his words. Another minute passed before a look of hard resolve was etched on his face. “You have to eat.”
“I did.” I hooked a thumb over my shoulder to the box of protein bars that sat on the small dresser. “Ellie brought me a box, so I’m all sorted. Don’t worry about me.”
It had been three years since anyone worried about me, and I didn’t need anyone to start now when I was heading out completely alone.
His brows shot up, disbelief etched onto his handsome face. “Isn’t that why you’re here? For me to worry?”
I heard the challenge in his voice, and I let out a long, tired sigh because it was easier than arguing with him.
“No. I’m here because I couldn’t bear the thought of something happening to TJ.
I tried to do it on my own, tried to raise TJ while on the run, but it didn’t work.
I’m here because somehow the Russians always know where I am and I can’t bear the thought of something happening to him.
” My throat tightened but I swallowed those emotions down deep and forced the words out on a calm breath.
“I realized that I couldn’t do it anymore. But you can.”
His jaw clenched tight as if he was angry. “You ever think about how TJ will feel if he finds out you died?”
I nodded. “Every damn day.” My voice cracked, the words burned my throat. I worried about that constantly but when it was all said and done, I came to one conclusion always. “Better me than him.”
Falcon swore under his breath, shaking his head while anger radiated off his broad shoulders. “Easy to say when you’re not the one left behind.”
There was a story there, a deep pain that had never gone away, but I brushed it aside.
His life and his story were none of my business, he’d made that clear.
“Yeah well, I’d rather TJ get the chance to live long enough to hate me,” I whispered.
“The alternative is that he gets robbed of his life too soon. Just…” I paused and shook off the tears that threatened.
“Just don’t let him think that I didn’t love or want him.
Spare him the details but let him know that I loved him more than anything. Please.”
His nostrils flared, and for a long moment Falcon just watched me. His breathing was labored as if he’d just run a few miles before he finally looked away. “You could stay,” he said eventually.
It was hard to believe those words when he couldn’t even meet my gaze.
I shook my head, refusing to even let myself believe those words because I knew he didn’t believe them.
“None of your people want me here. My presence here puts them all in danger and I took an oath to do no harm, and that still matters to me, even if I can’t practice medicine anymore. ”
His eyes locked on mine, never wavering as the silence stretched between us, filled in by all the things we never said to one another.
And then the building shook.
At first, I thought it was an earthquake, but it was more violent, more destructive than Mother Nature. It was an explosion, a big one followed by a smaller one that rattled the windows, shattering a few in the distance. Dust and plaster fell from the ceiling and my heart lurched in my throat.
An explosion.
A bomb.
“What the fuck!” Falcon exclaimed, brushing bits of ceiling from his hair.
I never heard what he said next because I got to my feet.
“TJ!” Instinct took over as I yanked the door open and rushed into the smoky hallway.
My ears rang and the shouts in the air sounded like they came from underwater, but I didn’t care, my gaze flicked over every face I passed in search of my son.
I coughed, blinking smoke from my eyes while I searched for TJ.
I spotted him second later with tear-streaked cheeks and a red face as he clutched the bulldog that belonged to the MC.
“I got him,” Falcon called out, brushing past me quickly to scoop TJ in his arms. He held our son close as if he was precious to him, relaxing the slightest amount when TJ buried his face in his chest. “He’s okay,” he said to me before turning to TJ. “You’re okay, just scared.”
My heart rate hadn’t even settled before the door smacked open, letting smoky sunlight in as two men entered, one holding the other up.
A woman screamed but I didn’t look to see the reason as my gaze focused on the long gash down his arm, the way the blood flowed from the wound, dark and too fast. “Falcon, keep TJ close,” I called out as I prepared myself for the worst. Despite my time out of the OR I felt all my training coming back to me.
I could do this.
“Dr. Grant!” A woman who introduced herself yesterday as Laura, rushed up to me with a medical bag clutched in one hand. “Laura, remember?”
I nodded.
“I’m a nurse. We have supplies. Do you want me to assist you or should we triage?”
I blinked, absorbing her words. “Where is Dr. Blake?”
Laura frowned before understanding dawned. “Katey is at her ultrasound appointment, thank god.”
Right. “Okay, I need to assess this laceration. I don’t think there’s any arterial trauma, but it’s deep.”
Laura nodded and set the bag down on the nearest table, busying herself with laying the necessary tools out to assist me.
I turned my attention to the man with long blond hair. His face was pale, and his eyes squinted in anguish. “What’s your name,” I asked as I examined him.
“Hollywood,” he grunted. “Doesn’t hurt too bad but I’m gettin’ woozy, Doc.”
“Blood loss will do that. So will shock.” His pulse was racing, but other than that, his vitals were okay.
“Do we have any IV fluids?” I called out to Laura.
“Grab whatever you’ve got. If he needs a transfusion, we’ll have to get him to the ER, but I can stabilize him here.
” I turned to the man, he was shocked, but he wasn’t in shock.
Hopefully, the injury wasn’t as bad as it looked.
“We need to get you hydrated, and you need to lie down until the dizziness passes.”
“Doc,” he began but I put my hands to his shoulders and pushed him down.
“Lie down now or pass out later. The choice is yours.”
His shoulders slumped but he nodded, wisely deciding arguing wasn’t the best choice. “Yeah, okay.”
Thankfully, after examining Hollywood I saw his injuries weren’t as bad as I’d feared. He was still a bit pale and clammy, but nothing that fluids wouldn’t fix. I turned to Laura. “He’s stopped bleeding, so it’s not torn an artery. Can you sort out an IV for him while I triage the next patient?”
“Sure thing, Doc,” she answered.
“Has anyone called 911?” I asked.
I was met with a stern gaze, as one of the club members—Hawk, I think—muttered, “We don’t know what shit you’ve dragged here. We don’t need the clubhouse crawling with cops. No one’s dying, just patch ‘em up as good as you can, and if anyone needs further treatment we’ll take ‘em to the ER.”
I looked towards Laura for backup. Surely, she’d agree with me? But she just shrugged, “You’ll have to excuse my man, he might have the tactfulness of a feral monkey, but he’s right. It’s mostly minor cuts and grazes, we don’t need to involve anyone else.”
I wanted to argue but remembered I was a guest here and I’d brought this to them. So instead, I did what I was trained to do and turned to the next patient, a biker with wavy black hair and pale blue eyes with what looked like shrapnel wounds on his face.
“I’m Slate,” he offered with a smile that didn’t fit the chaos around us. “One of my computer screens exploded.”
I nodded. “Okay.” It was easy but time consuming to pull the glass from his face and hands and clean the area. “You’re going to need some antibiotics to avoid infection.”
“On it,” Laura said, gently pushing me to the next patient.
I moved on without thinking about it, taking care of another biker who’d been hit by a piece of shrapnel in the chest. It was just a minor wound so after flushing out the debris, I dressed it.
Next was one of the club girls who’d taken a piece of metal across the back of her knee.
I took one look at the wound and said, “You need to go to the ER.”
The woman looked horrified. “Oh my god! Am I gonna lose my leg?”
I shook my head. “It’s not that. Just you might have damaged the ligament. Better to get a specialist to check it out. I’ll clean the wound out and patch you up in the meantime.”
I heard sounds, the pounding of biker boots, deep voices barking orders and anguished cries, but I focused on the woman on the table. “What happened?”
“I was bringing the guys a few beers at the shop when a loud bang sounded. Next thing I know I can’t move my left leg.”
I dressed her wound. “The good news is that you’re going to live.”
She gave a weak smile. “What’s the bad news?”
“The bad news is you’re probably not going to be wearing those heels for some time.” My eyes went to the five-inch platforms she’d been wearing.
I pulled off my gloves and threw them in the trash.
My eyes surveyed the chaos. Was this normal MC drama or was this the carnage I’d brought to their door?
If this was normal, would TJ really be safe here?
The questions fired through my mind, but I focused on what needed to be done.
Luckily, other than a handful of non life threatening injuries it was more minor scrapes and cuts.
It wasn’t the OR, but it was helping and that was the one bright spot in an otherwise dark three years.
With Hollywood stitched up and healing in a makeshift recovery room, I was exhausted, drenched in sweat, and totally in my element.
I still had no clue what had happened, but I looked up and three sets of wary eyes stared me down.
I knew the names from introductions, Raven, Ellie, and Winter.
Of course they didn’t trust me. They didn’t know me, and I’d brought danger to those they loved.
Just move on. I turned away, satisfied with a job well done and headed for the small room where TJ and I had stayed last night.
***
By the time I got to the room, my muscles ached and trembled, and blood streaked my face, my arms, and even my throat.
A hot shower was my first order of business but instead of being refreshing and replenishing, it was filled with thoughts of the past I couldn’t seem to escape.
Running from the Russian mob was one of the reasons I left, but not the only one.
I wasn’t lying to Falcon when I told him about my ex-fiancé.
Except James didn’t see it that way—to him we’d never separated.
I thought about James with his jealous rage and suffocating control, wanting to know where I was at all times.
To my foolish attempts to fix him with love.
To Falcon and those two amazing, reckless, and perfect weeks that had ruined me for any other man.
Inevitably my thoughts went to the day the stick showed the word ‘pregnant’ and changed my life forever.
I didn’t regret having TJ, I couldn’t. But keeping him with me while I ran for my life was no longer possible.
The nights without sleep, the days of terror, constantly waiting for the moment my time was up.
Some nights I wondered if keeping him was the selfish choice.
Had I done it because it was the right thing to do, because it was what I wanted, or had I done it to stave off loneliness?
Or was it more basic than that? Had I done it because I wanted a small piece of Falcon with me as my world fell apart?
It didn’t matter now. I’d made the choice and walked the path, and for now I was here in Steel City. I would help where I could, like today, and pull my weight until the DNA test revealed what I knew it would.
Then I’d go. I’d walk away with the knowledge that it was the right thing to do no matter how much it broke my heart.