Chapter Seven
Falcon
“Dada.” TJ had a new favorite game, one that had me wrapped around his chubby little finger without even knowing it. “Dada,” he said again, his slightly sticky hands gripped both sides of my face while those big hazel eyes studied my face.
Since Viv had told him who I was, he’d been calling me that. I didn’t know how much a two-year-old understood, but he seemed to know he could trust me.
“What’s up, TJ?”
“Dada,” he said again, moving side to side so that no matter where I looked, he was right in my face. Then he leaned in until our noses touched, letting out a deep belly laugh that shook his whole body. “Dada. Dada. Dada.”
I shook my head side to side so that our noses brushed and that made him laugh even harder.
His head reared backwards, and his little body would’ve followed if not for the protective grip I had on him.
“TJ,” I said around a laugh. I enjoyed spending time with the kid while Viv did whatever the fuck it was that she did, holed up in that room all damn day.
“Dada,” he said again as he pressed his nose to mine which kicked off another round of laughter.
Every time he called me that, his grin got bigger and something in my chest cracked open even wider.
I knew it was dangerous, getting attached to the kid when the DNA results were still out, but I didn’t need a goddamn test to know he was my blood.
The test results would make it all official, but he was mine. I knew it. I fucking felt it.
I’d carried a lot of shit in my life. Taking care of Raven when our folks were too fucked up to remember they had kids.
Keeping us fed and clothed, and off the street.
Lookin’ out for my brothers and my MC. It all sat heavy on my shoulders, and I dealt with it all.
But this little boy who was fascinated by me.
Who trusted me implicitly. That was the heaviest, yet the easiest fucking load I’d ever carried.
“Dada,” he said again, pressing his lips to my nose but missing by a mile, laughing when his lips connected with my cheek.
“Yeah, kid, I’m your dad.” It felt good to say the words just between us. An acknowledgement between men of the connection we shared. “Dada,” I said back just low enough so that only he could hear.
It sent him into another fit of giggles that put a satisfied smile on my face. In that moment it was just us, just me and my boy. It was as if, for that snapshot in time, the rest of the world didn’t exist around us.
My sister, of course, had impeccable timing as she strutted into the room with a smile on her face and attitude dialed up to the max as she ruffled TJ’s hair. “Hey there, baby boy.” Despite her prickly outer shell, my sister had a soft spot for my son. Her nephew.
TJ grinned up at her like she hung the moon, reaching for her pink braid with both of his hands.
Her smile brightened, remaining soft, the longer she looked at him. “Any word yet on the DNA test?”
I shook my head. “Nope.”
Her mouth pressed into a thin line, and I knew she wanted to say more but held back.
She wasn’t happy about Viv being here and the trouble that followed her.
Hell, she was in good company with that sentiment, half the club wasn’t happy about it either.
But I was in no fucking mood to fight. “You know he’s yours, right? ”
“Yep,” I answered easily, shifting TJ on my lap, which earned me a drooly grin that made my heart squeeze.
“Kind of hard to deny it, even if I wanted to.” I kept the rest to myself.
Raven didn’t need to know that I believed Vivian when she said he was mine because she hadn’t been with anyone else.
Even though I had my doubts about her reason for leaving, I believed in her certainty about TJ’s paternity.
Raven took a step back, her gaze shifted to mine before one brow arched as if she was challenging me. “And the baby mama?”
I swallowed down my immediate response because I didn’t want to agitate TJ. “What about her?”
“You just gonna let her drop him off like a fuckin’ package and disappear?”
I shrugged as if it didn’t matter to me, but my jaw was tight enough to crack my teeth.
“That’s her choice. All I can do is take care of TJ the way she asked me to.
Give him the life none of us ever had.” How could I not honor that simple request when I knew none of us had easy childhoods?
I’d do anything to make it better for my son.
Anger flashed in her eyes. “Goddammit, Trav, you can’t be serious?”
I looked up with a frown. “Why are you on my ass about this? You don’t even like her.” I was sure Raven would be happy to see the back of Viv.
Raven didn’t even blink, not denying it as she folded her arms, a hint of a smile formed on her lips.
“I’ve seen the way you glare at her. The little digs, the constant reminders she doesn’t belong here.” I’d also seen the way it hurt Viv’s feelings, but she swallowed it down, buried it deep and got on with whatever came next.
She smirked. “I am who I am. Doesn’t mean I want TJ spending his life wondering why his mama walked away. Doesn’t mean I want him thinking he wasn’t good enough for her to stay.”
The words slammed against me harder than a crowbar to the ribs.
“Shit, Raven,” I growled. “Why the fuck did you have go and say that?” I was perfectly prepared to let Viv walk away because her arguments were sound and rational, and I knew she wouldn’t change her mind. Now I was rethinking everything.
Raven’s expression went soft as she reached out and stroked one finger over TJ’s wispy curls. “Because that wondering why you weren’t good enough or just enough? It fucking sucks. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone, definitely not my own fucking blood.”
This time when TJ reached for her, she scooped him up in her arms and pressed a kiss to the top of his forehead.
“Yeah, you’re gonna be all right little man. We Marconis are tough as shit so yeah, you’ll be fine. Now we just gotta get your daddy to talk some sense into your mama.” She flicked a teasing smile in my direction.
“Dada,” he said again with more enthusiasm than before.
My chest squeezed at my sister’s words, at the familiarity between her and my son.
We weren’t a touchy feely family and she’d never said any of that to me before, but I knew those words were coming straight from her heart.
Our folks drank and fought, and then they fucked off for days at a time until those days turned into weeks and then months.
Eventually they’d stopped coming around altogether.
I never really had time to focus on how it impacted me because I was too busy keeping it all together and keeping CPS away.
“I’ll talk to her, but I can’t make her do anything she doesn’t want to do, Raven. ”
She sighed and shook her head. “She doesn’t want to leave him behind, she’s doing this because she thinks it’s the only way to keep her safe. Is it the only way?”
“Raven,” I warned. What she was saying, what she was silently asking meant a fuck of a lot of trouble for the MC, our businesses, and the people we gave a shit about.
“I’m just saying, you managed to bag a doctor once so surely you can do it again. Unless you think you’ve lost your touch?”
I laughed. “Fuck you, Raven.” Nobody could get under my skin as quickly as my kid sister.
She grinned as if proud of my response. “Love you too, big brother. And watch your language, there are baby ears around,” she laughed and handed TJ back to me. “Later, kiddo.” She kissed the top of TJ’s head before she wandered off, probably to have a cigarette.
Raven’s words stayed with me for a long time as TJ and I played, first with a ball and then with Chopper when the dog wandered over, ecstatic to get the little boy’s attention.
TJ’s heritage was undeniable, but I knew that wasn’t good enough for my brothers, so I kept it to myself, and slowly slotted TJ into my life since he’d already made his way into my heart. Just like his mother had.
Things with Viv had been a whirlwind. Two weeks of fire and heat, the kind of connection I didn’t even believe in before her.
She’d been a breath of fresh fucking air, all uptight and nerdy in her fancy doctor clothes.
But she was gorgeous as fuck and underneath that prim exterior, she’d been wild, a hellcat in the sack who’d rocked my world when she let loose in the bedroom.
She’d let go in ways that made me feel like I was the only man who’d ever touched her.
And then she was gone. No goodbye. No explanation. Just a vague as fuck note and silence. For three goddamn years.
Now she was back with my son, acting cold and controlled, like those two weeks meant nothing at all to her. Yet here I was, the fucking idiot for wanting to believe her. “Fuck,” I growled, smiling when TJ grabbed my cheeks and looked at me with worried eyes.
“Something on your mind?” The voice belonged to my best friend, Hades. His eyes were sharp as if he could read all my thoughts.
“Nope. You?” I was sick to death talking about shit. Nothing ever got resolved and the feelings didn’t go away.
He smirked. “I didn’t just find out I’m somebody’s daddy so yeah, I’m good. Back to you.”
I laughed under my breath, shaking my head at his ability to cut through the bullshit with a smile. “I’m good. TJ is great, so smart. Curious as hell about everything.”
Hades’ smile dimmed. “Doc came through like a champ yesterday.”
“She did,” I said without adding how impressed I was. How her skills and her calm under pressure had left me in awe.
“You gonna let her walk away?”
My chest tightened at yet another reminder that letting Viv walk away was a bad fucking idea. But they didn’t have the whole picture. “You all seem to think I got some kind of control over what Viv does. Newsflash, I don’t.”
He shrugged off my words. “You could try,” he said as if it was that fucking simple. “The boy needs a mother.”
I frowned. “There are plenty of women around here.” It seemed like every few months another woman came around. And stayed.
Hades snorted. “Yeah, true, but most of ‘em already have kids. Unless you plan to just work one of the shops like Dagger.” One of the few single dads in the MC, Dagger had spent most of his days at the tattoo shop until he fell for an elementary school teacher.
“Fuck that,” I grumbled and shook my head. I didn’t mind sliding under a car, fixing it, or customizing it, same with a bike, but punching a clock every fucking day for the rest of my life? No thank you.
“Then, I don’t know, maybe see what you can do to keep her around.” He stared at me, waiting for a response I didn’t have to give. “I remember how you were when she was around. You weren’t the same manwhore, you were, I dunno all googly eyed and shit.”
I laughed. “I have never been googly eyed.”
Hades shrugged. “I said what I said.”
“Asshole,” I grumbled.
“Look, I know this shit is fucked right now but you’ve got us. If you want her to stick around, fight to make it happen. Rather heal from rejection than regret being a pussy.” With those words of wisdom, he ruffled TJ’s hair and walked away.
“Everybody has advice for me today, little man.” was All of it unsolicited, and I had no fucking clue to do with any of it.
In response, TJ curled into my chest, wrapping his arms around my neck as if he knew I needed comfort.
The tiny weight of him instantly soothed the ache inside of me. I wasn’t sure yet what to do about Viv, but Raven was right, I couldn’t let him grow up thinking she’d abandoned him.
I don’t know how long we’d been sitting like that, just me and him, when a shadow appeared over us and I looked up to find Viv standing there looking casual in jeans and a t-shirt that showed off her curves.
She was thinner than when I’d last seen her but still a fucking knockout.
Her expression was carefully blank, shoulders set in a determined square and lips pursed as if this was a business meeting.
“I’ll take him now,” she said robotically as she reached for him.
My grip tightened on my son. “I can handle him. I have to get used to this, don’t I, if you’re just gonna fuck off again?”
Her eyes flickered and she winced, taking a step back as if my words were a physical blow. I almost apologized but the truth was the truth, no matter how much it hurt. She quickly smoothed her expression until she found her calm and cool place once again. “You have a club meeting soon.”
I opened my mouth to ask her how in the hell she knew my business, but T-Bone appeared first, his expression wary as it bounced between us. “Meeting. Now.”
To her credit, Viv’s expression didn’t change. She didn’t say ‘I told you so’, or even smirk knowingly at me. She simply waited with her arms extended until I placed TJ in them.
Our eyes clashed for a long moment and even though no words were spoken, I knew without a fucking doubt, the chemistry, the connection, the fire was still there.
Still burning.
Whether either of us wanted it or not.