Chapter Twenty-One
Falcon
I slept like the dead. After that shit in the dungeon with St. John, the polished doctor on the surface who was actually a wicked piece of shit, my mind had shut down as my body carried me from the cells into the clubhouse where my woman and my son slept.
With the way Viv had taken care of me, not even the echo of the good doctor’s screaming or the sight of his blood on my hands followed me into sleep.
I didn’t regret one fucking second of what I had done, but as I lay there with the early morning light filtering through the blinds, I knew that shit had changed me.
Something had snapped off and stayed behind in that basement under the auto shop.
I wasn’t the same man I’d been when I walked through those doors.
I was harder now. But also stronger. I knew, without any doubt, what I’d do to protect my family.
What I’d do to anybody who threatened them.
My eyes were still closed but I smiled as a shadow fell across my face.
A soft giggle sounded inches from me. When I finally peeled my eyes open, I found TJ leaning over me, his chubby cheeks pulled into an amused smile, his little hands rested on my cheeks.
“Dada.” His sweet voice was a little groggy from sleep.
My heart squeezed so fucking tight it hurt to breathe. I swallowed hard around that sensation and dragged him against my chest. “That’s me, Dada.”
He laughed as if that was the funniest shit he’d ever heard, leaning forward too quickly so his wet, sloppy kiss was more like an attack on my cheek. “Dada!”
This right here? This was every-fucking-thing.
It was worth every moment of pain last night.
Every broken knuckle, every drop of blood I’d spilled down in the dungeon and on the streets of Steel City.
I would do it all over again with a smile if anyone ever threatened TJ.
Hell, if they even threatened his happiness, I’d do all that and more.
He owned a joy I never had at his age, and it was something precious enough to protect.
Vivian stirred beside us on the bed but didn’t wake, her breathing remained soft and steady. She looked peaceful in sleep, like the weight she carried when she was awake had finally slipped off her shoulders for a few hours. Not even the noise of TJ’s words and laughter stirred her.
Vivian.
My chest tightened again but this time for a different reason altogether.
She’d been a godsend last night, everything I didn’t even know I needed.
She hadn’t asked any questions when I showed up bloody and worn out, beyond making sure I was all right.
She just took care of me. She touched me gently as she cleaned my wounds and patched me up, kissing them softly as if those scars hadn’t come from some dark shit.
She washed away the blood, mine and St. John’s, and touched me like I wasn’t a monster who spent all night torturing someone.
She held me like I was a man and not a weapon of destruction.
She gave me pleasure. Herself. Peace.
And that had changed it all for me.
The fact that I could let my guard down with her so completely, trusting that she wouldn’t hurt me, trusting that she’d still look at me with warmth in her eyes even after everything? It told me everything I’d been trying to deny.
I loved her.
There it was. Raw and undeniable. I loved Viv and I wanted her here with me in Steel City. Forever.
I just had to figure out how to tell her.
But first, I had to tell her the truth about her asshole ex.
“Mommy!” TJ squealed suddenly, attention shifting like a switch had flipped. He tumbled across the bed, his soft little body landing on top of Vivian.
She cracked an eye open and smiled, wrapping her arms around him. “Oh, my big boy, you’re going to squish Mommy.”
“Skish Mommy,” he repeated with a proud smile. “Skish Mommy,” he said again as he leaned forward, pressing his lips to hers with a laugh.
“Wet kisses,” she squealed, holding him close before she dotted his face and head with kisses. “Good morning, TJ.”
It was all so fucking normal. The three of us in bed together while sunlight marked the start of a new day.
Getting up and getting TJ ready for the day.
Vivian bathed him while I stumbled through picking out clothes, made easy by his impressive selection of denim.
I took his freshly cleaned body, wriggling with joy, from Vivian, dressing him while she showered and dressed.
We traded him off as if we’d been doing it for years. It was easy and collaborative.
It wasn’t at all like anything Raven and I had while growing up.
My childhood had been more about survival than busy mornings like this.
It wasn’t something I thought about since I was a boy wishing for something different, but fuck me, I liked this.
I liked it a whole fucking lot. And I especially liked it with Viv.
She caught me watching her as she brushed out her hair and smiled. “What are you thinking right now?”
“Two things,” I answered easily, my eyes dark and hot. “I was thinking about all the ways I’m going to pay you back for last night.” My voice pitched low so there was no mistaking my meaning. “And breakfast,” I admitted. “I was thinking about breakfast.”
Her expression shifted from serious to smiling, a sparkle lit up her hazel eyes. “Let’s start with breakfast, then.”
I wanted her all to myself. I wanted to take her to my place and take her back into bed and start with payback, but I wasn’t sure it was safe to leave the clubhouse yet. Not until this was over.
Not until she knew the truth.
“We need to talk,” I said finally, my voice was flat while my heart pounded in my chest.
Her smile dimmed instantly. “Okay.” She nodded after a minute, slipping into that cool, carefully detached tone she used when she was bracing for bad news. She scooped TJ up and left the room, leaving me no choice but to follow her.
Breakfast was already spread on long tables at the back wall, as usual.
There was enough food to feed a small army, and Viv expertly piled a plate with scrambled eggs, toast, sausage, and pieces of fruit with TJ in her arms. She cut up the eggs and sausage into tiny bites he could handle himself, leaving the toast in triangles the way he liked.
The domesticity of it had a lump forming in my throat.
“We can talk now,” she said eventually without looking at me. “Just keep your tone calm. TJ won’t understand.” Her warmth was gone, replaced by that cold aloofness she’d worn like armor when she first came back.
“It’s about James,” I said without hesitating. The last fucking thing I wanted was to tell her any of this, but she deserved to know.
Viv froze for just a moment, the knife and fork frozen a few inches above the plate before she relaxed and dragged her gaze to mine. “What about him?”
I glanced at Viv and then back at TJ, happily humming and bobbing his head while he ate. “I can’t, not with him here. We can get one of the girls to watch him.”
Her eyes widened almost imperceptibly and then she nodded without argument.
I spotted my sister and waved her over. “Can you watch TJ while we talk?”
She nodded, flicking a wary glance at Viv before she turned on her smile for TJ. “Hey TJ, wanna hang with your awesome Auntie Raven?”
He bounced in his seat, holding his arms out, breakfast forgotten. “TT Aven!”
My tough sister melted at my son’s excited squeal and complete butchering of her name. She plucked him from the chair and held him close. “C’mon little man. I heard there’s bacon coming out soon.” She walked away without looking back.
As soon as I was confident TJ was occupied, I stood and grabbed Viv’s hand, savoring her small warm hand and delicate fingers as we headed outside. The morning sun shone bright and hot already.
As soon as we were alone outside, Viv yanked free of my hold, putting the whole damn picnic table between us. Her arms were folded over her chest and her gaze carefully blank. “Just tell me,” she demanded in a tight voice. “Please.”
I said nothing for a long while because I knew what I needed to tell her, but I didn’t know where to start. It wouldn’t be easy to hear, and I hated to be the one to say the words that would hurt her.
“I don’t care if he’s dead,” she blurted out. “Just tell me. Whatever it is,” she softened. “Just say it.”
“He’s not dead,” I finally found my voice. “At least not yet.”
Her eyes widened and her lips parted in surprise, but she quickly blanked her expression and nodded.
I dragged one hand across my jaw, hating everything I was about to say.
“He switched paperwork in Alexei Petrov’s file.
He knew who he was the minute he saw his name, he knew just enough to know they’d come after whoever was blamed for his death.
He altered his medical records, removed the information about the anticoagulant that Alexei was already taking, so when you administered a dose during surgery, he bled out. ”
“What?” Her voice cracked and her big, beautiful eyes began to water.
I nodded once. “He figured once you had a target on your back you’d run into his waiting arms. He hadn’t banked on you hating his guts or having my baby.”
A thousand emotions flickered in her eyes. Anger. Disbelief. Fury. Sadness. “Why isn’t he dead, Falcon?”
That question hurt like a kick to the nuts but I gave her an honest answer. “We’re giving Anton a chance to handle it first, to kill the person actually responsible for his father’s death.”
She flinched but she didn’t look away. “And then I’ll be safe from them?”
I nodded. “That’s the hope.”
Viv stood, folding her arms around her waist as she nodded. And then she paced, still not saying one fucking word.
“Viv.”
She stopped and her shoulders sagged. I couldn’t read her, but I also couldn’t look away, not when she rounded the table and stood in front of me before she flung her body at mine. “Thank you, Falcon.” She hugged me tight, face buried in my neck as tears singed my skin. “Thank you.”
I closed my arms around her, savoring the way she felt in my arms. “No thanks necessary, Viv. I’d do anything for you.”
She pulled back slowly, almost reluctantly, and looked at me, studying me for a long time. Her lips parted as if she wanted to say something, but she didn’t. Something held her back.
I wanted to ask her what she wanted to say but I was a fucking coward. What if she said she wanted to leave and take TJ with her? I wanted to tell her I loved her, that I wanted every morning to be like this one, but that wouldn’t be fair?
Would it?