Chapter 9
CHAPTER NINE
Jesse smiled as he held the framed photo, taken at Rory and Chris’s wedding that summer, of him with his arm around his beaming sister. Rory had made a beautiful bride, radiant in a dress Ella had handmade for her. It’d been a toss-up that day who’d been the most teary-eyed: Rory, her badass SEAL husband, or their mother. Jesse had done his best not to stare at Ella, the maid of honor, while Rory and Chris had exchanged vows, wondering if he and Ella would be doing the same one day.
And now we’re having a fake wedding. He returned the photo to the mantel where his sister had insisted it be displayed, alongside another wedding photo in a matching silver frame. That one was of the wedding party, minus the bride and groom, and he knew Rory purposefully chose that one because it seemed to prominently feature the stunning maid of honor in her pale yellow flowy dress.
The photo also captured the fact that Jesse’s attention was focused on Ella and not the photographer. Another reason his sister surely set the picture there.
“Griffin and Savanna just rolled up in his truck,” Jack called out, joining Jesse in the living room, and Jesse tore his focus away from the photo and over to his teammate.
He hadn’t quite figured Jack out, but he had a feeling there was a lot more beneath the surface than the jokes and wisecracks. Shortly after Jesse had met Chris, Rory clued him in that Chris buried a lot of his trauma and pain behind humor.
Jesse wasn’t sure if that was also Jack’s deal, but he knew when it came to operating, Jack flipped some type of mental switch and transitioned into a man you didn’t want to fuck with—exactly how Jesse preferred the men he fought alongside to be.
“Ella not with them?” He hadn’t seen her since she left for the ranch six hours ago.
“No, Griffin texted a few minutes ago that Chris and Rory are bringing Ella back here with them.” Jack’s focus went over Jesse’s shoulder to the mantel as if he knew what had been on Jesse’s mind.
Jesse checked his watch. It was zero one hundred hours. Technically, New Year’s Eve and his wedding day.
The team had decided they’d be leaving for Paris on New Year’s Day instead of waiting until the second. The less time they spent in Walkins Glen, the better for everyone there.
“How long were you married?” Jesse asked him. “If you don’t mind my asking.”
“Too long. And not long enough, I suppose.” Jack palmed his bearded jaw. “Jill wanted me to leave the Army. I tried my hand at civilian life, but it didn’t suit me.”
“That’s why you joined Ground Branch for the CIA?”
“Yeah, I think I did that more so because the admiral wanted someone watching over his daughter.” Jack smiled. “You’ve met the admiral. He’s rather overprotective when it comes to Natasha. Plus, I’ve known her since we were kids. Almost as long as you’ve known Ella. I’m sure if Ella had been out in Algeria or wherever chasing terrorists, you’d have had her six.” He shrugged when Jesse remained quiet.
What could Jesse say though? The idea of Ella having a dangerous job made him nauseous. It was bad enough his sister had been a globe-trotting adventure-seeker, always getting herself into some kind of predicament.
A while back, when he learned Rory had been whipped and tortured by pirates, he and A.J. had sought out and “handled” the men who’d hurt her. Six-feet-under kind of handled. A.J. hadn’t had an issue with killing those men, so maybe, just maybe, he didn’t truly hate Jesse for the work he’d done for the Agency. Although, A.J. probably hated him right now for potentially having put his sister in danger, as he should.
“I’m happy with what I do now. Working for Gray. Hell, even Carter. I guess those two are the yin to the other’s yang. Or whatever. You know what I mean. They balance each other.”
“Carter’s the devil you don’t want to dance with,” Jesse said based on what little he knew of his mysterious boss. “And I wouldn’t go so far as to call Gray some type of saint, but he’s about as schoolboy as they come.”
“Don’t let Gray fool you. He’s not quite as buttoned-up as everyone might think.” Jack arched a brow and looked behind him as if checking for his best friend to ensure Gray didn’t hear whatever he might say next. “You know, the day his helo crashed years ago, he was declared dead for about thirty seconds. Gray said the place he went to after that wasn’t exactly sunshine and rainbows.”
“What do you mean?” Jesse asked under his breath. “Gray thinks he went to Hell? I’m guessing that was the morphine they were pumping through him while they tried to save part of his leg.” Unsuccessfully.
“I don’t know, brother. I just know Gray says he wasn’t greeted at the pearly white gates, and he said after the shit he’d done in his life, he hadn’t been surprised. But he was given another chance, and he was going to do his best to earn his way off Hell’s waiting list.”
Huh. That conversation took an unexpected turn. “And you think people can find redemption?”
“Fuck, I hope so. Or aren’t we all going to Hell?” Jack held his palms in the air. “I know I’ve got front-row seats to that inferno if not.” He pointed to Jesse. “And you, my friend, were a contract killer. I feel like God’s probably not your greatest fan.” He winked, switching back to humor, and yeah, Jesse was right. Jack was a lot like Chris. Jesse had struck a nerve during the conversation, and Jack felt the need to joke his way free of whatever emotions pushed to the surface as a result.
“They’re here,” Sydney called out from the kitchen.
Thank —Jesse lifted his eyes to the ceiling— God . . .?
He and Jack were headed for the kitchen when they heard Gray blurt, “Wait, what? Are you serious?”
“What’d we miss?” Jack settled on a stool at the island opposite where Oliver and Sydney worked.
Carter, who appeared to be much less shocked than Gray, stood from the table. Jesse was still clueless as to what in the hell he’d missed.
“Griffin wants to bring Savanna to Paris,” Gray muttered, his grumpy tone making it obvious he considered the idea utter bullshit.
“I need to be on this op with you guys,” Griffin explained, he and Savanna by the door. “And if I leave her here under someone else’s protection, I’ll be worried and distracted the entire time.”
Savanna leaned into Griffin as he positioned his arm tight around her waist, and Jesse stared at the couple, trying to wrap his head around the news.
“If there’s any chance someone might come after Savanna because of all this, you know that’s a risk I won’t take.” Griffin’s voice dropped a few octaves in warning. He put eyes on Carter since it was clear Gray planned to reject the idea.
Carter was quiet for a moment as all eyes in the kitchen seemed to point his way, and Gray appeared to wait to find out if the man he was partnered with would side with him or not. Carter’s dark gaze moved to Jesse, and he studied him for a moment. “Jesse’s the one with the kill orders from the Agency, and you said he should be the one to take out Zoran when we find him,” he said in a steady tone, his focus switching to Gray, repeating what Gray had noted a few hours ago. That it was Jesse’s job to kill Zoran. “But Jesse won’t leave Ella with just anyone when he has to operate either.”
“I’ll watch Ella and Savanna,” Griffin said in a deep, commanding tone. Zero fucks about the chain of command at the moment with the woman he loved thrown in the mix. “Yes, we’ll have Carter’s other guys overseas joining the team for an assist, but you know I’ll never let anything happen to Savanna or Ella.”
Shit, Griffin was right. Jesse was the one who had to take out Zoran, but he hadn’t thought through who’d watch over Ella while he operated. “I trust all of you here. It doesn’t have to be you,” he told Griffin. “There’s no reason to bring Savanna over there and place her in harm’s way.”
Savanna stepped forward from Griffin’s embrace. “I think it’d be a good idea for Ella to have me there. This isn’t going to be easy on her. And this kind of danger is no longer foreign to me. I can help Ella get through this. Those of us connected to you, no offense, aren’t truly safe anywhere until the threat has been handled, right?”
Jesse tore his fingers through his hair, hating the idea of yet another woman he cared about caught up in the middle of his greatest nightmare.
If only he hadn’t extended his employment with Thatcher after Ella announced her engagement to Brian two years ago. No, what he should have done was fought for her. Gone to her and told her to cancel the wedding and marry him instead.
Of course, someone else from his past could’ve easily popped up to hunt him now instead of Zoran. The “Wheel of Fortune” of bad guys Jesse had encountered in his time would forever spin and be a problem. But Zoran was the only one I left alive.
“Ella rejected the plan, but I’m stubborn like her, and she realizes I won’t back down,” Savanna added. “So, I strong-armed her into agreeing just like she made you agree to fake marry her.”
Jesse lifted his gaze to see the headstrong woman back in Griffin’s arms. “What about the café?”
“If Griffin wants her to come, then she comes,” Carter said without checking with Gray first. So much for the 50-50 partnership thing. But everyone on the team knew it was a bit more weighted in favor of Carter given his bags of billions he seemed to have hidden around the globe to fund their ops, among other things.
“Thank you.” Savanna went to Carter and hugged him, and Carter went still, leaving his arms stiff and unmoving as she squeezed the devil who didn’t appear to know how to hug. She moved to Gray next, hugging him before the man had a chance to reject her puppy dog eyes or warm embrace.
“Okay, okay. Enough hugging other men,” Griffin said in a teasing voice, but knowing that man, it wasn’t entirely a joke.
Savanna rolled her eyes and playfully swatted Griffin on the ass, which had growly Griff nearly spanking her right back from the looks of it, but he seemed to refrain, given the audience.
Yeah, they were going to head back to their place and have sex, that was for sure.
And he hated how envious he felt right about now, especially when Ella walked through the door a minute later with Chris and Rory. Bear trotted in as well, squeezed between his “parents,” and plopped down on the dog bed Jesse kept in a corner of the kitchen, along with a water bowl for when Bear visited.
“Well, Deb Hawkins wore me out. I’m just as tuckered as Bear,” Rory said lightly.
“Y’all learn anything new while we were being bossed around by your new wedding planner? Aka your future mother-in-law?” Chris shot Jesse a lopsided smile.
“We’re still working to locate Zoran’s right-hand man,” Jack spoke up for the first time since the Savanna-coming-to-Paris conversation had begun.
“We filled Ella in on what we know so far about the case in between the wedding details while we were at the ranch,” Chris let Jesse know, and Jesse wasn’t sure how he felt about Ella knowing everything.
Ella pinned Jesse with a hard look, and it was the first time she’d made eye contact with him since entering the far-too-crowded kitchen. And Ella’s mom was right. It did look like a command center, but they weren’t in a tent in Baghdad and wearing uniforms.
“Um. Can I steal my brother for a second?” Rory abruptly stepped forward, grabbed hold of Jesse’s arm, and marched him down the hall toward his bedroom as if she were their mom about to ground him for one of the many times he’d misbehaved as a kid.
“What’s up?” he tossed out once they were alone in his room with the door closed behind them.
Rory sank onto his king-sized bed. “You know what’s up.”
Jesse set his back to the French door that led out back to a private patio while eyeing his sister. “I really don’t. There are a lot of things that could be up. Spell it out for me.”
“Ella’s not doing well,” she announced. “She was barely keeping it together at the ranch earlier during the wedding preparations. And it’s not because she’s worried about this Zeus guy.”
“Zoran,” he quickly responded instead of sharing how Rory’s words really made him feel. Guilty, then add some more guilt. Topped with another Everest-sized pile of fucking guilt.
“Whatever. He sounds like a mythical creature. Anyway.” Rory waved her hand in the air as if Zoran was the least of their problems.
He had to remember his sweet sister didn’t scare so easily. She had faced off with the worst of the worst and came out victorious, so Jesse knew she didn’t need to be coddled. Basically, his sister was a badass. Lara Croft in the flesh.
“The point is, Ella has been dreaming about her wedding day since she was a kid. And you were who she always wanted to marry. Certainly not Brian.” Rory stood and came before him, angling her head. “And now her family and the whole town is going to watch you two say vows, and it’s not going to be real.” Her shoulders fell. “She won’t admit how much that’s screwing with her head, and I know it was her idea, but I’m just . . .”
Jesse heaved out a deep breath and looked to the ceiling, wanting to admit to his sister just how much this was screwing with his head as well. “What do you want me to do? Marry her for real?”
“Yes,” Rory said in a firm voice, and Jesse dropped his focus to her face when she closed in on him.
“You’re crazy.” He tried to sidestep her, but she remained a stubborn blockade, and he grunted in irritation.
“You love her. She loves you. Once you kill this Zoltar guy?—”
“ Zoran .”
Rory rolled her eyes. “Just take this mothereffer out, and then you two can live happily ever after. Make babies.”
“You don’t get it. There could easily be another Zoltar.” And now she had him saying the wrong name. “Rory.”
“Jesse,” she snapped with extra flair. “There’s always going to be a reason. Chris’s work is dangerous. I know what’s at stake if someone were to identify him. Your job with Falcon could jeopardize a future wife too. But you can’t live in fear of the unknown. Always waiting for something bad to happen.” She was quiet for a moment. “Worrying about what hasn’t happened yet is anxiety.”
“So, maybe I’ve got anxiety,” he hissed in frustration, then turned and opened the door to escape her since she wouldn’t move, but, of course, she followed him out to the patio.
He linked his hands behind his head and stared at the thundering sky overhead, unwilling to let himself think for even a second that he could actually do as Rory suggested.
“Why’d you join the Agency in the first place? Why choose the CIA over Ella?”
Jesse stopped in his tracks but only managed out, “I need to do a perimeter sweep.” He removed his gun from the back of his pants that’d been hidden beneath his shirt, and when he turned to see Rory, her eyes were glued to the weapon.
“Why? Tell me that, and I’ll leave you alone,” she pleaded.
He slid the muzzle of the gun alongside the outer part of his jeans. “Why does it matter? All that matters is that I did it. And you know what depression is? Focusing on a past you can’t change and letting it hurt your present.”
He started to turn, but her next words were like a hammer to the head. “It’s because of Dad. Right? It’s because of him.”
Jesse hung his head and swallowed. At the feel of her hand, he peered over his shoulder at her off to his right. “Like I said, I need to check the property.”
“I remember,” she cried, catching him by surprise. “I buried those memories. I hid them in a dark place in my mind, but I’ve been seeing Chris’s therapist, the one helping him with his post-traumatic stress, and all those memories . . . they came back to me.” Her voice broke, and he knew if he looked at his sister, he’d break too.
“I’m sorry you remember,” he whispered. “I had hoped you never would.”