Chapter 41
CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
TWO HOURS LATER
Beckett sat on the bunk bed in the bedroom at the safe house, his head in his hands. His body was numb, but not from the morphine. Apparently, Oliver was the medic for Falcon, and when they’d returned an hour ago, Oliver had a syringe waiting for him.
He had a feeling he was more mentally numb than anything after watching Cora abandon Miles only to have her killed right before his eyes.
He hated that damn woman. Hated her for everything she’d done. But watching McKenna’s mother and aunt die like that, unable to get to them in time . . .
After the collision, the assholes in the SUV had riddled the car with bullets before turning their sights on Beckett and the others. The four men were taken down within a matter of seconds and, thankfully, Liam had managed to shield Miles from the scene.
But how would Beckett tell McKenna what happened? With Miles more than likely returning to Alabama with him, he had no choice but to share the truth now.
He groggily lifted his head to find Sydney in the doorway, leaning against the interior frame. “Can I sit with you?” she asked.
He nodded, and she joined him on the bed and linked their hands together.
After they arrived at the safe house, he’d taken a sixty-second shower and changed into clean clothes, worried about Miles seeing him covered in blood. Not just from his own injuries but the blood of the men he’d killed. And Cora’s too. Beckett had dragged Cora’s body from the wreckage. She’d most likely died upon impact, but her body had also been punctured by two bullets.
“I should be mourning her, but I fucking hated her,” Beckett hissed. “What she did to that boy today. The second she had a chance to run, she took it. No hesitation. Who does that?”
“It’s normal to be angry. There are stages of grief.”
“I don’t want to grieve that woman,” he admitted, but it was the truth, wasn’t it? “But I do grieve McKenna’s loss even though she didn’t know Cora. And Miles’s loss as well.”
“It’s okay for you to be upset too. I know you feel like you shouldn’t be after what she did to you, but you never wanted her to die. Or you wouldn’t have come to Mexico in the first place when she called.” Sydney swept her thumb in small, circular motions over his hand. “You need to allow yourself to grieve for you .”
He wasn’t sure how to interpret his conflicting emotions. He hadn’t shed a tear for Cora yet, and he wasn’t sure if he was capable. He’d come close while watching her son beg his mother not to leave, but that sorrow was for Miles. Cora was responsible for everything that ultimately led to her death.
“Am I supposed to convince myself that if Cora had stayed, something worse would have happened instead? Possibly to Miles? Or maybe her actions would come back to impact my daughter in some way?” He swallowed the lump in his throat. “Is that the deal with all this universe and fate stuff?”
“I don’t know,” Sydney whispered. “Maybe Elaina or Camila would have an answer for you. Or maybe there isn’t one, and we just have to trust that it was meant to be?”
“I’m glad you’re okay.” He needed to focus on something else right now. Focus on someone who had become so important to him in the last five days. Wow. Five days? That was all the time they’d spent together.
“You’re the one who had to get beat up by your brother-in-law. I can’t imagine how hard that was for the two of you.” She turned and smoothed her free hand over his cheek, studying his face. “Then you took a bullet for me.”
“Technically, I didn’t take the bullet. It only ripped a piece of flesh from my arm.”
“Still. I was wearing a protective chest plate, not you. You shouldn’t have taken that risk for me.”
“Act first. Think later. Kind of a guy thing.” That had to be the morphine talking. Not to mention he’d been drugged the night before, and that drug could still be in his system.
“Well, mister, don’t do it again. Think first. Okay?” Sydney pressed a soft kiss to one of the bruises near his eye.
Beckett shrugged his good shoulder. “Mm. Your safety will always be first on my mind. Sorry, sweetheart. Non-negotiable.”
“Always, huh?” She kissed another bruise.
“Hey, sorry to interrupt.” Griffin stood in the doorway, and Sydney gave him her attention. “I hate to say this, but we’re leaving Santiago.” He checked his watch. “Right about now. Martín and Mya’s Marine friends are en route to Juárez to meet us there. They think we should strike against the rest of the upper echelons of the cartel while they’re scrambling to make sense of what went down with Miguel.”
Beckett stood, but his legs gave out, and he fell back onto his ass.
“Easy,” Sydney remarked and motioned for him to stay put as she stood. “I don’t think Beckett should go.”
“He’s not. He’ll be returning Stateside today with Miles, Liam, Emily, and Elaina. A.J. has to hop on a flight overseas to wrap up his op. But Gray’s making arrangements with his government contacts to get clearance for Miles to travel under Beckett’s supervision.”
Miles. Am I adopting him? I’ll have a son. And is Cora really dead? If he hadn’t held her body in his arms, he might believe he’d hallucinated it all, and she’d simply faked her death. Another con. A tactic to escape and begin her next con, find a new mark.
“Jesse is talking to Ella now, deciding what to do. He may sit out this op. He doesn’t want to stress Ella out anymore this week,” Griffin went on. “And I support that idea.”
“Will there be enough of us to handle the cartel?” Sydney folded her arms. “ And dismantle their trafficking network?”
“Not enough of us . But Martín has an army. So with our help, plus Mya’s Marine friends, I think we’re solid. And you know if Carter had doubts, he wouldn’t risk our lives.” Griffin stroked his jaw, eyes falling to Beckett. “Camila wants to come, but Carter’s insisting she leave and wrap up her case. Turn over the scientist so the wife can get some justice for her husband’s murder.”
“Right. I almost forgot about that with everything that’s happened.” Beckett tried to stand again, and Sydney offered him her forearm instead of demanding he sit.
“Give us a minute?” Sydney asked Griffin, who nodded and left.
“I hate that we’re going?—”
“Separate ways?” Beckett finished for her while setting a hand to the bed frame for support. When she remained quiet, he cupped her chin with his free hand and peered into her eyes. “I hate not being at your side when you go.”
“You need to be with your daughter,” she said softly. “Miles too. I’ll be fine in Mexico. You don’t need to worry about me.”
“Impossible.” He kept hold of her chin, not ready to lose her.
Her small smile quickly faded. “After Mexico, I need to head home. See Levi. Figure things out there.”
Why’d this feel like the “we’ll take some time and think about things” kind of talk? To decide if the last five days were real? It was for him. He didn’t need time to confirm that. “I understand.”
Bottom line, he had a life in Alabama. She couldn’t leave her son in D.C. since she shared custody with her ex. Was it possible to make a relationship like that work? Did she even want something long-term with him? The questions buzzed through his brain, but the reality of what happened that day washed over him again.
The drugs had his thoughts diverging in too many directions, and he hated not being sharp.
“Can I kiss you before I go? Or will that hurt?” Sydney tipped her head, and he offered his mouth as an answer, slanting his lips over hers.
And did it hurt? Yeah. But more like in the heart, worried this would be their last kiss.
Sydney’s soft mouth responded to his, and her tongue slipped between his lips, caressing his in sweeping, sensual motions.
Beckett eased his mouth away from hers, hating to break contact, but they were short on time. “They’re waiting.”
Her eyes held his captive as she silently studied him with parted lips.
“Tell me your walls aren’t going to go back up while we’re apart?” he asked, unable to stop himself.
“If anyone could knock them back down,” she began with a nod, “it’s you.”
“Did you know Camila in Spanish means ‘messenger of God’?” Elaina’s question to Camila drew Beckett’s attention as they stood outside the safe house, prepping to part ways.
Camila reached for Elaina’s forearm. “Similar in Portuguese too.”
“You have a gift, Miss Hart. Don’t be afraid to use it.” Elaina wrapped her arms around Camila in a tight hug.
“I have a feeling I’ll be seeing you again soon.” Camila let her go and smiled. “I’m sorry for your loss,” she told Beckett.
“You didn’t do anything to make her . . . die,” Elaina revealed, peering at Miles sitting beside Emily in the back of the SUV, the door still open. Emily seemed to be working her motherly magic on the boy, calming him down, and thank God for her.
Beckett wanted to cling to Elaina’s words. To believe he hadn’t somehow played a role in Cora and Ivy’s deaths.
“There are many other lives you’ll be able to save now. All of you.” Elaina pointed to where Carter stood talking to Jesse and A.J. “Those secrets you found at the bad man’s house will help more people.”
The Guarded One and his secrets. Right. And the formula for that drug would hopefully never see the light of day again.
“Ready?” Liam strode up to his daughter and hooked his arm behind her back.
Elaina hugged Camila one more time, and when Camila shielded her eyes with sunglasses, Beckett had to wonder if she was tearing up.
“See you around.” Camila patted Beckett’s arm, then went over to Gray, saying her goodbyes.
The goodbye Beckett dreaded saying was to Sydney. He knew she was a hell of an operator, and if they were to find a way to make a relationship work down the road, he had to accept her work was dangerous. And to not freak the fuck out whenever she went out on a job.
“See you back home when I’m done,” A.J. said on approach. “I gotta roll back out now.”
Beckett nodded. “Stay safe. Kill some bad guys.”
A.J. winked. “Roger that.”
“And, uh, thanks for saving my ass this morning,” Beckett added in case he’d forgotten to say that.
“We’re family.” A.J. fist-bumped him. “I got you.” He gave him a one-arm hug, careful not to hurt him, then tipped his hat at Beckett before heading toward one of the vehicles so he could fly back to wherever he’d been before.
Once A.J. was gone, Beckett went over to Carter and Griffin. “Stay safe in Mexico.”
“Of course.” Carter faced Beckett. “Also, you should know we’re having Cora and Ivy’s bodies flown to New Mexico, where they were born. Their parents are buried there as well.”
“You did your homework,” Beckett remarked. “Thank you.”
Carter nodded, then twirled his finger in the air, motioning for the others to get going.
“You okay?” Griffin asked him, his gaze cutting to the SUV with Miles inside.
“I have no damn clue.” When Beckett turned his focus back on Sydney speaking with Camila now, their eyes locked. “But I’ll have to find a way to be.”