Chapter 10
Leah
I’m not sure how long we’ve been asleep, but the bright morning sunlight we came home to has moved beyond the bedroom windows. I’m still tired and wonder what woke me. Then I feel it, the butterfly soft caresses over the puckered scars stretching across my lower abdomen.
“Do they bother you?” My voice is a hoarse whisper, mostly from being cold and wet yesterday, but partially because Emanuel’s answer is important.
“The scars? No. The pain and suffering you went through? Hell yes.”
“They’re unsightly. No bikinis for me.” I clear my throat as the joke falls flat.
“Mama, these are badges of courage proving you survived. You wear these with pride, understand? Will you tell me about it?”
“Bucky’s mistress, Debra, tried to kill me because Bucky got it in his head that it would be good publicity if he became a family man.
We tried having a baby early in our marriage, but I never got pregnant.
A few years later, he decided we needed to adopt.
Suddenly, he had a potential adoptee all picked out when Bucky never took care of the details, so I was suspicious.
I hired someone to investigate. What Bucky neglected to tell me was that it was his and Debra’s baby. ”
I roll over, resting my head on his shoulder and pull his arms around me.
“She confessed later that they were going to arrange an accident for me after the adoption went through. After the baby was born, Bucky told Debra I was being difficult and she wouldn’t be getting any money because I refused on the grounds of my not wanting a baby girl.
Debra went off the deep end and attacked me.
Bucky didn’t find out until later that the baby wasn’t his.
Turns out he was the sterile one, but by then it was too late. ”
“Where’s the baby, now?”
I smile. “She’s fat, happy, and safe living with her real daddy.”
We lay there dozing in comfortable silence, lost in our thoughts, and I finally confess my last secret.
“I told you I was forty-one, that’s a risk for pregnancy anyway, but because of where the stab wounds were, the doctors performed a hysterectomy to save my life. I can’t have any kids, Emanuel.”
“Mama, that doesn’t matter. I never shared this with anyone…
but I was in the foster system from five years old until I aged out at eighteen.
Seeing little Benji scared and alone really hit me hard, because I looked at him and saw myself.
If you want to have a family, I can tell you from personal experience, there are a lot of kids out there just waiting to be chosen but never get the chance at a real family.
It doesn’t matter if they’re not ours by blood. ”
“God, you’re so sweet. I love you, Emanuel.” I lift my chin, offering him my lips.
“I love you too.” He turns until I’m lying beneath him and nearly kisses me senseless.
Because we’re similar in height, our bodies align perfectly, creating an unbelievable amount of intimacy between us that I’ve only dreamed of having.
“Now, I seem to recall something about you needing maintenance...”
Oh, lordy.