Chapter 12 #2
I get out of the truck first and rush to her side to grab the door for her and help her out.
She’s still looking all around at everything this place has to offer.
We could easily spend the entire day here between the rides, fields, mazes, food booths, and carnival games.
The park is so much more than just a pumpkin patch.
Of course, there’s a pumpkin patch too where you can cut your own pumpkin off the vine, which is always Berlyn’s favorite part, but it’s much more than that too.
It’s almost like the county fair on a smaller scale and all fall or Halloween themed.
There’s even a haunted train ride that takes you around the park. Or is it a farm? Maybe it’s both.
“Where to first?” I ask Berlyn, allowing her to lead us. She grabs my hand again in her excitement and begins to drag me towards the entrance of the park. It only lasts for a second before she drops my hand like it burned her.
Disappointment washes over me as quickly as hope had.
“Sorry, Weston,” she says, grimacing and locking her hands behind her back.
“I just grabbed you without thinking,” she continues and I tilt my head to the side, studying her.
A ramble is about to start and I don’t know if that’s a good sign or not.
“I know you aren’t a big fan of being touched by strangers. ”
How does she know that?
“I shouldn’t have just assumed it would be okay.
I mean I didn’t actually assume. I guess it was instinct maybe?
I don’t know. I’m really sorry though, I appreciate you even bringing me here and wanting to hang out with me.
I know I should be more careful and think before acting.
I just grabbed your hand without thinking it through,”
I laugh, a full deep chuckle, cutting her off and I grab her hand this time. “You’re not a stranger.” She never has been. She’s always been the exception. Always been mine.
Her rambles are cute, everything about her is cute, but I don’t want her ever doubting that she can touch me. However and whenever she likes. The more the better.
Her cheeks turn rosy but she doesn’t pull her hand from mine again as we make it to the entrance. I stop her when she reaches for her wallet and instead buy us both the wristbands that get us access to everything in the park and take home a medium-sized pumpkin. Maybe we can carve them.
Berlyn gapes at me as I take the wristbands from the woman behind the counter and lead Berlyn through the gates.
“You didn’t have to do that,” she stammers, but I only shrug and grab her wrist to put the band around it. “Weston,” she scolds, and I kind of like the way my name sounds in her sharp tone. Exasperated but with an edge of amusement she can’t seem to hide.
My smile must look smug as I grin down at her, fastening the wristband and grabbing her hand with mine again. '“Where to?”
She narrows those hazel eyes up at me as if she could actually threaten me into anything. Little does she know, she only has to ask and I’ll give her just about anything.
“Are you going to let me pay you back?”
Except that.
I grin and shake my head. I’ve never smiled as much as I have in this short time I’ve spent with her. She makes it easy to get out of my head. So busy watching her and trying to figure out what is happening in hers that the chaos of my own mind seems to settle down.
“You have to,” she argues, practically stomping her foot.
“Says who?” I challenge her, no longer waiting for her to make a decision and instead leading her to the sunflower fields she loves. We can save picking our pumpkins to the end.
Her bewildered look is almost as adorable as her blush, but the way she’s so responsive to our words and actions will always be my favorite. “Me,” she answers with a grit I rarely ever see in her.
Does this mean she’s getting comfortable with me? Letting her guard down. The thought gives me more confidence as we reach the dirt path to the fields. Sunflowers loom around us, growing taller the farther back we walk. The back rows must be even taller than I am.
A low gasp passes between her lips and she squeezes my hand tighter as her gaze turns away from me to the sunflowers all around us. The sound quickly turns into a giggle when I use my grip on her hand to spin her.
“Are you trying to distract me?” she asks, looking up at me with delight and suspicion in her eyes that seem almost brighter the deeper I pull her into the tall flowers.
I nod, knowing it’ll be enough for her. She never pushes me for more even when I could give her more. She never asks. It makes me want to give her everything.
We walk deeper into the sunflower field, leaving behind the crowd until it’s finally quiet. Most of the parents don’t wander this far into the fields when the views are just as good from the outskirts. I wanted Berlyn away from all other eyes though. Give us a moment in secrecy. A moment just ours.
She lets me spin her again, her ash-colored hair twirling around her before falling in long waves around her shoulders. “You’re incorrigible,” she teases.
I don’t know what that word means and even though it sounds like it should be an insult, her tone is so light and amused, it can’t possibly be anything bad. I can give into her a little. “You can pay me back,” I say.
Berlyn freezes and stares at me in surprise, her expression torn between guilt and skepticism. “I didn’t mean…” she starts to explain and I have a feeling if I let her go on she’ll start one of her infamous rambles.
“In a different way though,” I cut her off, not wanting to lose the relaxed smile she had since we entered the field.
She eyes me curiously. “Then how?”
I wish she could read my mind, wish she could know everything I want with only one glance.
Answering her is hard, trying to fit everything I feel and desire into words feels impossible.
How do you tell someone that all you want is for them to have everything?
All I need is for her to never have that broken, forlorn look in her eyes again.
To never lose the light that makes her her.
That drew us to her like moth to flame and has kept us captivated in her burning embers.
She didn’t light up every room she walked into, much preferring to flit from shadow to shadow and fade into the background. But she lit mine and my brother’s souls on fire and now I never want her to have to succumb to the shadows again.
If I said that, she’d probably be freaked out though, wouldn’t she?
“Be here,” I finally answer, stressing the second word and hoping she understands.
Her small smile feels like a dagger to my chest, but she eases it by squeezing my hand. “You noticed, huh?”
I nod, not wanting to say the wrong thing. She stares for a moment before pulling me further down the path. I wonder if she isn’t going to respond to what I said, but maybe I don’t need her to. She doesn’t seem mad, and she hasn’t let go of my hand even once since I said it was okay.
She drags us to the back corner, stopping every so often to look over her shoulder behind us, but we’ve left everyone else behind rows ago.
So far we’ve stayed on the paths through the fields, but as we reach the back corner, Berlyn gives me a mischievous smile and ducks under the rope.
I have to release her hand and step over the rope, making her giggle.
It’s not quite her normal carefree laugh, but it is something.
If my girl wants to break the rules to feel better, I’ll make sure nothing and no one can touch her while she does. The rules will never apply to her again. Not if I can help it.
Berlyn grabs my hand again as soon as I’m over the top and drags me deeper into the growth.
Here the sunflowers grow even taller than me.
Their stems full and lush with leaves and flowers that cast shadows over us.
Not as thick or as dense as trees, allowing plenty of light to filter through the leaves and petals, but enough to feel mystical.
Like we’re in a world completely our own.
“I like to come back here and disappear,” she admits in a whisper, turning to face me. “Feels like I could maybe never come out and the world would just keep moving.”
She gazes up at me, a desperate plea for something glowing in her eyes, but I don’t know what. “The world might,” I agree softly.
She waits but when I don’t say anything else, she laughs, amusement making the gold flecks in her eyes dance. “Aren’t you supposed to add something else?” she asks. “Like the world might, but I wouldn’t?”
I shake my head, but my slow smile gives me away. “I can’t say that,” I argue.
She drops my hand and places hers on her hips, raising a brow. “And why not?”
"Because I would have disappeared with you.” I tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear and wink the way I’ve seen Jude do countless times. It feels odd and foreign but the look on her face is worth it. “You have kidnapped me here after all,” I joke.
Berlyn’s mouth parts in shock before she laughs so hard she snorts. A sound I’ve heard several times over the feeds, but never in person. Never because of me. Because I brought that carefree abandon to her.
The distant and nearly expressionless girl from only a little bit ago is nowhere to be seen now.
“You kidnapped me first,” she argues, poking me in the chest for emphasis.
I nod my agreement. Ten out of ten would do it again too. I’ve already gotten to see whole new sides of Berlyn I never knew existed.
Her hand falls from my chest and catches mine once more as if it’s the most natural thing in the world to do. In almost the same breath, she’s pulling me towards the closest stem and running her fingers along the thick viney texture.
“Did you know sunflowers symbolize happiness, devotion, and loyalty?” she asks. “Because they always move to chase the sun.”