Chapter 41
Chapter Forty-One
R onnie was well and truly spent.
Curled up on a couch near the lodge’s fireplace, she watched Dallas at the snack bar as he paid for their hot cocoas. She’d offered to go with him, but he’d been insistent that she stay here and rest.
And honestly…
She felt like maybe rest was exactly what she needed. It was a late night last night, and between lack of sleep and all that crying, her eyelids felt like they were sporting weights.
Dallas came over right when she yawned. He handed her a hot cocoa before taking a seat. “We can head back, you know. If you’re not up for another round?—”
“No,” she interrupted. “I want to get back out there. I was having fun.”
His smile warmed her more than the fire. “Good. Me too.”
She tried to return his smile, but truth be told…she felt more awkward around this man now than she had when they were going through puberty. Ugh, worst age ever for feeling like you didn’t fit into your own skin and had no idea how to behave around the opposite sex.
Ronnie stared down at her cocoa rather than holding his gaze. It was too hard. Too exposing. Too…intimate.
Her heart rate picked up a notch as he sank into the seat beside her. “Wanna tell me what’s up?”
He sounded so calm and unbothered. He wasn’t being awkward at all. If anything, he had the air of someone who was used to dealing with this sort of thing.
This sort of thing?
You mean emotional women who can’t seem to stop crying?
She cringed as the thought ran through her head.
“I can’t help you if I don’t know what the problem is.” He leaned forward until he was in her line of sight.
She sighed and rolled her eyes. “I’m not some problem you have to solve, you know?”
His lips twitched. “I know. But you are clearly struggling. And I’m really good at finding solutions—helping people out of a jam or getting them back on track…or finding a new path.” His smile was smug. “It’s kinda what I do.”
She couldn’t help a breathy snicker. “Oh yeah? I didn’t realize you were head of HR.”
He laughed and shook his head. “HR loves me.”
“I’m sure they do.” She arched a brow at him and was satisfied with the flush of color that lit his cheeks before he cleared his throat.
“Okay, so they don’t always love me, but I’m telling you, I’m good at helping people solve their problems.” He hit her with a look so sincere it made her heart buckle. It didn’t help that he’d softened his voice to a gentle lilt. “Let me help you, Ronnie.”
When she didn’t immediately start talking, his brows dipped together, and she thought this might be it. He’d given up, and she couldn’t decide if she was more relieved…or disappointed.
What?
“Think of it this way,” he finally said. “I’m an objective party, right? Up until recently, we hadn’t even seen each other in years. Since I’ve got a different perspective, maybe I can bring something new to the table. Something you haven’t considered yet.”
Okay, so he wasn’t giving up.
And a wave of emotion hit her, making it nearly impossible to speak.
He wasn’t giving up.
So, after a little sniff and a thick swallow, she managed to rasp, “I think…I think part of the problem is…” She looked away from the warmth in his eyes. It would definitely make her cry, and she’d never get this out. “I’ve never needed help before, and I don’t want to need it now.”
“We all need help sometimes.” His voice was soft and low and so freakin’ kind it had her blinking rapidly to keep from weeping.
“Yeah, maybe.” Her answer was grudging, and he chuckled.
“Come on.” He nudged her knee with his. “Try me.”
She took a deep breath, held it for a long beat…
Then finally surrendered.
“Snowboarding used to be fun, you know? It was all I lived for. The first thing I thought about when I woke in the morning. Every day. I was always hanging out to get to the slopes, begging summers to finish faster so I could get back up there. And then I hit the circuit, and it was glorious. I got to board all year round. It was so exciting and intense and…and there was this momentum that…” She held her breath, then expelled it on a whooshing sigh.
“That started to feel like a hamster wheel, you know? Every new win led to new expectations, and that’s good, I guess.
But there’s this whole other side of it.
The business side…” Her expression buckled, and what started as a halting explanation soon turned into a tsunami of words.
She told him all about the contracts, the sponsorships, the endless training, and the way her family had come to rely on her ever-increasing income.
“And now, I don’t know why I’m doing this anymore.” She fell silent, and she freakin’ loved that he didn’t try to rush in with words of comfort or, worse, tell her why she shouldn’t be upset—or even why she should.
He’d just listened. And then he let her sit in silence as they both absorbed all that she’d said.
When he reached a hand out, she slid hers into it without a second thought. He gave her fingers a little squeeze that made her belly flutter and her chest ache.
“I’m sorry. I never do this,” she suddenly blurted. “I never talk like this, and?—”
“Please don’t apologize.” His voice was gruff. “I’m honored that you opened up to me.”
She met his gaze and then looked away quickly, oddly shy at the intensity in his eyes.
“I’m here for you, Ronnie. You know that, right?”
She nodded. “Thanks. I think…” She fidgeted with the mug in her hand, trying to pinpoint one last issue she was having. It felt like for the past twenty minutes she’d been circling in on something, and she was close.
He squeezed her hand again, a silent encouragement.
She wet her lips and forced her eyes up to meet his, not letting herself look away from his intensity. Instead, she found comfort in the fact that he seemed to care about what was bothering her as much as she did.
“I think what’s really been killing me is that I don’t even recognize myself anymore.
I feel like…” She took a deep breath. “Like after the accident, I woke up and looked in the mirror, and I didn’t know who this stranger was.
She’s not me. Because the Ronnie I remember, the one I took pride in being…
she knew how to say no. She stood up for herself and knew what she wanted, and…
” Her laugh was breathy, filled with something like disbelief at what she’d just admitted.
“And she didn’t talk about herself in the third person. ”
He gave her a little smile at that lame attempt at a joke. But his eyes were deadly serious when he spoke. “I still see that woman, Ronnie. She may be a little lost, but she’s not gone.”
His words were the exact ones she needed to hear.
How did he know that when she hadn’t even realized it herself? Her eyes were brimming with unshed tears, and all she could do was nod in response.
He squeezed her hand. “We’ll find her, okay? Together. You and me.”
She nodded again, loving the sound of that. The thought of being part of a team, rather than someone’s meal ticket…
As if summoned by the thought, her phone rang and lit up with Mike’s name.
“Speak of the devil,” she murmured.
“Who is it?”
She sniffed and tugged her hand from Dallas’s with an apologetic wince. “It’s Mike. My agent. I’m sorry, I… If I don’t take this now, he’ll just keep hounding me.”