Chapter 37
Vox
Hearing that statement shouldn’t be so jarring since I heard Grey say my old man was supposedly here. But hearing that Connor has seen him, heard his voice, and interacted with him still shocks me, and I swallow hard, staring at the horizon, trying to get my bearings.
“I’m sorry to just blurt it out like that,” Connor says next to me.
I plead with myself to deploy rationality right now and not lash out like the immature child everyone thinks I am, especially where my dad is concerned.
“It’s fine. That statement doesn’t really need an intro.” I smile at Connor, but I’m far more overwhelmed now that I know for certain my dad is here…and maybe a little jealous that Connor got a chance to talk to him.
I sit with that feeling for a few seconds.
I cycle quickly through anger, sadness, hope, and betrayal, finally landing on indifference.
His being here doesn’t change anything, though I can’t help but want to ask so many questions.
How does he look? Does he miss me? Does he want money?
I’m afraid to get my hopes up for a man who couldn’t offer me what I needed as a child, and most likely can’t offer it now, either.
When I open my mouth to simply ask what he said to Connor, all that comes out is a clipped, “And?”
“Let’s finish this ride and grab a proper drink, then we can talk,” Connor says, attempting to backtrack after watching me choke down my thoughts and feelings on this matter. I sometimes forget how well he can read me.
“As soon as we come down from here, you know we run a major risk of being seen or interrupted,” I point out, knowing this moment right here is the most privacy we’re going to have until one of us is out from under the Patterson umbrella. “Just tell me now.”
Sensing it’s what I truly want, Connor starts talking.
“He said he owns a board shop in California. Sounds like he started his own brand. He said it’s mostly surf and skate right now, but he wants to branch into snowboards as well.”
Connor trails off, giving me a minute to process this information.
“So, he wants to use me to build his brand name…figures. But he’s a little late.” Someone’s already done that, I think harshly, shocking myself with the thought. I know how Connor feels about Grey, but I’ve never been suspicious or felt mistreated.
Connor chews on his bottom lip for a second. Thankfully, it’s not windy up here, but it’s still cold and dry, chapping our lips. Rooting around in my pocket, I find the small tube and hold my Chapstick out to him before he makes his lip bleed from worrying it to death.
“Whatever it is, just tell me,” I plead.
Running the little stick over his lips, Connor damn near stops my heart with his next sentence.
“Supposedly, he’s been trying to get in touch with you for seven years, but Grey’s been blocking all his points of access.”
It’s a good thing I’m already looking at Connor because otherwise, I would’ve cracked every vertebra in my neck to gawk at him now.
“What did you just say?”
Connor removes one of his gloves and unzips the pocket on his board pants. He pulls out a business card and hands it to me.
“He said you can reach him at the number on the card.” After a pregnant pause, like he’s not sure if he’s going to say the next part, Connor adds, “He also asked me to tell you he’s proud of you.”
I bite my tongue to give myself something to focus on other than the tears welling in my eyes. Fuck, he doesn’t deserve my tears. What? He says one nice thing, and I’m just going to let him waltz right back into my life? He’s probably lying anyway.
Connor shoots that thought down, though, when he places frozen fingers against my cheek.
“For what it’s worth, Vox, he sounded sincere. Broken. Resigned to your silence. You don’t owe him a thing, but maybe you should consider hearing him out. Give yourself that chance for closure.”
I drive the heels of my gloved hands into my eyes.
“What happens if what he said is true, and Grey has kept him away all this time? What the fuck will I say to Grey?”
“Let’s cross one bridge at a time,” Connor says rationally.
I think about what it would be like to hear my dad’s voice again. Would he sound the same as I remember? What would it be like to see him? Do I even want that?
“Will you make the call with me?” I ask.
“Vox, I’ll have your back anywhere, anytime, through anything. As your coach and as your boyfriend.” The light in Connor’s eyes is blinding as he uses the last term, and his smile matches, easing the ache in my chest to a manageable throb.
I half-turn, half-roll onto Connor, careful I don’t slip and go tumbling down the mountain as I straddle his legs on the boulder, pressing my hips into him.
“You’ve been mine since the second you walked into Meltdown your first night here…you just didn’t know it. But I’ve been yours a lot longer, and I’ve known that since I was fourteen.”
“You’re an incredible man, Vox Montgomery. It’s the honor of my life to call you mine,” Connor says all formally and shit.
“What if I want you to call me Daddy?” The only reason I manage to keep a straight face is because I’m cracking my molars from biting down so hard.
“You’ll be waiting a long time,” he deadpans, finally making me burst into laughter despite the heaviness of the conversation we just had.
“Besides, if one of us is going to be Daddy—ugh, fucking gag me—it would obviously be me,” Connor says, clearly against his will.
“YOU?” I shriek loud enough to send my echo skittering around the mountain range. “Why you?”
“Because I’m burlier, I’m older, and my pecs are bigger.”
“Since when are ginormous pecs a prerequisite for being called Daddy?”
“It’s always been a prerequisite; everyone knows that. Besides, you’re so good at being a brat, it just makes sense that I’d flip you over my knee and tear your ass up.”
I grind my cock into his thigh as I put my lips to his ear. “You can tear this ass up anytime you want. In fact, I wish you’d do it as soon as we get down this mountain.”
A shiver wracks his body.
“Not to be a total buzzkill,” he starts. “But when we get down this mountain, we have things we need to handle.”
I drop my head onto his shoulder.
“You really think I should call him?”
“I do,” he confirms.
“Well, let me do it now, before I lose the nerve,” I say suddenly, pulling off my gloves, reaching for my phone.
I don’t think I was aware that this was my plan until the words flew from my lips, but there’s no time like the present.
Plus, I know I still have privacy up here.
As the Winter Classic looms closer, more and more people are stopping me and the other athletes for pictures, autographs, and interviews.
I’ve even had other resort workers stopping by to say hello and wish me luck.
Instead of trying to get me to slow down or think it through, Connor just sits silently, one hand on my thigh, one still clutching the bottle of bourbon.
I pull my phone out of my pocket, hoping it works in this temperature and location. I grab the bourbon, and Connor doesn’t stop me when I take another gulp. After typing in the number, it rings twice on speakerphone before I hear my dad’s voice for the first time since I was six years old.
“Hello?” He repeats himself when I’m too stunned to speak. “Hello?”
I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but I can’t find my voice.
Leaning forward into the phone, Connor answers for me.
“Uh, hey, Turner. This is Connor Lang.”
“Connor, hello. I take it Vox wasn’t interested in speaking with me?”
I can hear the brokenness, the disappointment, the sadness in his tone, and it jolts me into action.
“Um, no, I mean, hi…Dad.”
“Vox, son, is that you?” His voice cracks, giving away his tears, and suddenly I’m back to fighting my own.
“Yeah,” I whisper, unable to produce a full-bodied sound.
“Ohmygod, son. I’ve missed you.”
I’m overwhelmed. There’s too much emotion to process. So, I stay quiet, allowing Connor to rescue me again.
“Mr. Montgomery, I think Vox would be open to hearing your side of the story, um, but we’re currently on the side of a mountain, and this close to the competition, we’re being monitored.
If what you claim about Grey Patterson is true, it’s probably best we meet in person away from Ricochet Ridge.
Perhaps we could all grab a beer over toward Rainersville in about three hours? ”
“Yes. Yes, of course,” he agrees readily.
“Great. We’ll see you then.”
“Voxy?” the man says hesitantly into the phone.
“Yeah?”
“It’s good to hear your voice.”
After we hang up, Connor lets me have one more sip of bourbon before we strap back in.
“Let me go ahead of you this time. Just follow my track.”
I nod, understanding that this is the smartest choice for me right now.
It takes another hour and fifteen minutes to get the rest of the way down the mountain.
When I turn to look back up at the terrain we just traversed together, it feels like a giant metaphor.
Steep slope, rough patches, obstacles to dodge, unexpected ice, sharp turns when I thought we were on the right path…
“Hey, Connor?”
“Yeah, hotshot?”
“Will you take a selfie with me?”
“Of course.”
We take one with our arms around each other’s waists and then, before he can move, I cup his face, bring my lips to his, and snap another one.
“Send me those, okay?” he breathes against my lips, eyes still closed.
“Mmhmm.” I hum my agreement, and then we’re unclipping from our boards and beginning our walk back to base village.
We’re both frozen to the bone by the time we make it back into the main part of the resort.
Our eyes dart around frantically for the rest of the team and coaches, but thankfully, we don’t run into anyone.
There are still members of the security team posted near my fucking condo, so Connor and I can’t even shower together before we go.
“I could come to your place?” I suggest, not wanting to be alone.