Chapter 33 Este
ESTE
Driving up the mountain is no less terrifying when the weather is nice. Though it is better with Nico sitting beside me, even if he is leaning forward and gripping the dash while trying to fight a look of terror.
He refused to tell me where we were going, but he directed me to turn off before we got to the cabin, so my dream of a soak in his massive tub and an orgasm or two in front of the fire is well and truly dashed.
“Turn right here.” He’s trying to sound calm, at least.
We both take a relieved breath when I turn onto an actual road. Thank god.
“Good news,” I say, and I feel his gaze land on me when he turns.
“Hmm?”
“You won’t have to worry about being a passenger when your arm is better, because I am never going to willingly drive up here if you’re capable of getting behind the wheel.”
Nico leans back in his seat and squeezes my shoulder. “You’re doing great, baby. The turn is just up ahead.”
I see the sign, but it’s not until I actually turn onto the road that I can make out the curly white script.
Blue Moon Meadows
The resort Rora was talking about at the weekend.
I bring the Jeep to a stop and turn to face Nico, my heart thudding against my ribcage. “What are we doing here?”
“Just hear me out, angel.”
“Why did you bring me here, Nico?” I hear my voice rising, even if I don’t mean for it to happen. I bury my head in my hands and groan. There’s no doubt he means well, but this isn’t what I expected when he said he wanted to go somewhere today.
“Baby.” Nico pulls my hands from my face, holding them the best he can with his one good one. “We’re just here to look. That’s it.”
“What?” I ask warily.
“You haven’t been anywhere near a plane since the crash, right?
” I shake my head. “Exactly. And the longer you leave it, the more you’re going to build it up in your head.
So, all we need to do is look at a plane.
You don’t even have to get out of the car if you’re not ready. This is just the first step.”
I swallow. What he’s saying makes sense, and I know, logically, there’s no harm in just looking at an airplane. I also know that if he’d warned me ahead of time that this is where we were going, he would’ve had to carry me to the car.
“Just looking?”
Nico nods, running his thumb over the back of my hand. “And I’ll be right here beside you the whole time.”
Right here beside me. In the passenger seat, alive, because even though he swore he’d never let anyone drive him, he did.
“What if I freak out and I can’t drive us home?”
“I talked to Ari yesterday and explained everything. They’re happy to drive us home if you can’t.” This wasn’t a spur-of-the-moment decision. He really thought it through. He must’ve gotten Ari’s details from Rora, then called and had a conversation with a complete stranger. For me.
“Okay. I can look.”
I’m sure the resort is beautiful, but I don’t see it as I follow Nico’s instructions down the long road and around the main building.
I focus on his voice, and on forcing air into my lungs, and trying not to crash the car when we finally round the bend that brings the hangar into view.
There are two small planes inside, not dissimilar to the one Pops had when I was younger. The one I learned to fly in.
“Ari said we can just pull up wherever you’re comfortable, angel.”
I nod, inching forward slowly, then turning so we’re facing the hangar directly. I cut the engine and pull out the keys so I’m less likely to tear out of here if I get scared.
“Okay?” Nico asks.
I don’t answer right away, instead reaching for his hand. He slides his palm against mine, and I draw in a deep breath. “Yeah.”
Over the years, the sight of a plane has meant many different things to me. Trust. Freedom. Our family legacy. Everything I’ve ever dreamed of. Joy. A paycheck. Panic.
Right now, they’re nothing more than metal sculptures. But I squeeze Nico’s hand, open the car door, and step outside.
“The first step,” Nico called it. I close the Jeep door.
A moment later, he comes up behind me, pressing his chest against my back like a safety blanket. He doesn’t say anything, just lets me take in the hangar. I step forward, and he does too. I wobble, and he steadies me.
“I guess they’re not so scary from here,” I say, finally, my voice scratchy.
“Have you ever flown one?”
“Not these models exactly, but I learned to fly in something similar.” They feel so small in comparison to the one I crashed.
A door at the back of the hangar opens, and someone—Ari, I assume—walks out wearing a resort uniform.
“Hey! You must be Este and Nico,” they call, and Nico lifts his hand in a wave.
“Thanks for letting us come by,” Nico says, and if I’m honest, it’s so weird seeing him interact with a total stranger that it distracts me from the planes for a moment. This is the man who, when I first arrived in Wintermore, barely left the mountain.
Obviously, I know he did interact with people—he went shopping in Jackson, and even if I don’t like to think about it, I know he hooked up with people from dating apps.
But when I imagine it (usually when I’m already stressed and my brain decides to add a sprinkle of jealousy for good measure), I don’t imagine him being warm and chatting away like he is now with Ari.
When I first met him, I could never have imagined the words “Nico” and “chatty” in the same sentence.
“What do you think?” Ari asks me, gesturing toward the planes. “I bet they feel small to you.”
“They do,” I admit. “It’s been a while since I flew something so small. They’re nice, though. You have a good setup here.”
I’ve seen much dingier plane hangars. I guess if resort guests are coming up here, they want to make the whole experience luxurious.
“I’m lucky. The resort owns the planes, but they give me free rein here. We’re busy year-round, but especially over Christmas—Wintermore,” they say, rolling their eyes. “You want to take a closer look?”
I open my mouth to decline, but the word I’m expecting doesn’t come out.
“Sure.”
I’m sitting in a plane. There’s no air in my lungs, and I could pass out at any moment, but I’m doing it.
“Breathe, baby.” Nico’s beard tickles my ear.
How we went from standing outside the hangar to being in the plane is a mystery to me.
All I know is the second I got close, and Ari suggested I open the door to take a peek at the controls, I couldn’t say no.
And when they suggested I climb up for a closer look and offered a hand, I just…
did it. My body went into, well, autopilot.
Now, I’m sitting beside Ari, watching them talk us through the controls, and Nico is behind us, with his arm around me and the seat, gently stroking my finger over his chest in a continuous rhythm, reminding me when to take a breath.
“It’s a speedy little thing,” Ari says. “And really smooth. Most of our tours are around forty-five minutes, and we rarely have issues with the planes. Weather is our biggest barrier, obviously, but we usually have advance notice of anything bad enough to stop us going up.”
It’s not a big plane. There are six seats, including Ari’s, and a bench at the back where someone could sit in a pinch.
The top of Nico’s head is flush with the ceiling, and he looks comically large in the second row of seats, but the plane’s biggest asset is its windows.
They’re big for such a small plane, crystal clear, and angled perfectly to show off as much as possible.
“I bet the view is incredible over the mountains,” I say.
“Oh, yeah. Especially at this time of year. The air is so clear, the sun’s not too bright, and there’s still snow to look down at. It’s magical.” Ari’s wistful tone is familiar. Views like that are why I fell in love with flying in the first place.
“I bet.”
Ari looks over their shoulder at Nico, then back at me. “Do you want to see it?”
If my palms weren’t already sweaty, they would be now. “What? Like… now?”
“Sure. No pressure if you’re not ready, you can come back anytime, but it’s a beautiful day if you want to.”
I don’t think my heart has beat in a few seconds. It’s a heavy lump in my stomach, instead. I twist in my seat to look at Nico. His face is totally neutral, but his eyes give away how much he wants this for me.
“What do you think?” I ask, and he cups my jaw.
“I think you made it this far, angel. What’s a little higher?”
I lean into his hand, counting my breaths. “I’m scared.”
“I know, baby. And I swear, this wasn’t my plan all along, bringing you up here. But unexpected things have had a way of working out for you and me lately, wouldn’t you say?”
If we don’t count him being impaled by an axe, sure. But I suppose even that had its benefits. Nico and my dad reconnected, he and Shay are closer, and I got to meet everyone in Wintermore. We’re not a secret anymore. I let myself love him. I decided to stay. I quit my job, once and for all.
That axe started a domino effect that has only worked out in our favor, all because Nico was brave enough to let me help him.
I don’t feel all that brave right now. But I can try.
“I want to do it.”
I can hear the smile in Nico’s voice when he says, “That’s my girl.”
It doesn’t take long once I decide, which is just as well because the more time ticks by, the more my resolve disappears. I help Nico with his seatbelt, Ari gets everything ready up front, then our headsets are on, and we’re taxiing out of the hangar and toward the small runway.
I’m not sure I’ve ever squeezed my eyes closed so tightly.
With his seatbelt on, Nico is sitting too far back to wrap his arm around me entirely, but he holds on to the nape of my neck, gently massaging, keeping me as grounded as I can be.
“Do you want me to talk you through what’s happening or just tell you when we’re up?” Ari asks through the headset.
“When we’re up, please.”
Nico squeezes the back of my neck, reminding me he’s there as the plane speeds up. Ari doesn’t have to tell me when we take off; I feel the wheels lift. I hold my breath, waiting. Time could have stopped for all I know, but then I feel it.
The dip.
The brief moment when we’re falling, and then we’re soaring.
I hear Nico gasp through the headset, a soft, awed curse spilling from his lips.
“Open your eyes, angel,” he murmurs, his fingers like silk against my skin.
My lungs scream as I fill them with air before finally opening my eyes.
At first, all I see is sky. Warm blue with splotches of fluffy white cloud. It’s calm, serene. Ari wasn’t kidding when they said it was a beautiful day.
But then I look down, and I see what made Nico gasp.
“Oh.”
The mountains are… magic. I can see how some people might find them imposing, even scary. But these are the mountains that kept Nico safe for decades before I came along. The mountains that welcomed me when I needed a place to land. The mountains where I found him.
The jagged landscape feels like home. Being up here feels like home.
“Este.”
I drag my gaze to the only thing more beautiful than the view below. Nico is sitting forward, watching me, his gray eyes watery.
“You’re flying, baby.”
I’m flying. I’m fucking flying.
A sob wracks my body before I can stop it, tears spilling down my cheeks. Nico holds my face, wiping them away as they fall. “It’s incredible.”
“You’re incredible,” he murmurs. “My incredible, perfect, brave, Este.”
I’m smiling so much it almost hurts, my tears still falling thick and fast. “I’m so happy.”
“Me too, angel. Me too.”