Chapter 14
The event being delayed would normally be a drag, but since we’re in the VIP Corral, that just means we have extra time to enjoy the free perks.
“Okay, just texted Ellie. She’s hangin’ in there,” Noah says, returning to her seat from grabbing more food.
“I dunno how she does this week after week. I’m a nervous wreck for her,” Wilder says, snatching something off Noah’s plate.
“Where the hell did you come from?” I ask, not even realizing he was here.
“It’s the adrenaline,” Fisher chimes in. “You get addicted to that feelin’ quite easily. The crowd cheerin’ you on, the smell of the arena, the high of winning. Ellie’s in her prime, too. I’d be surprised if she still gets nervous or just feeds off the excitement.”
Or Ellie’s really good at pretending she doesn’t and puts on a front.
“She’s definitely more of the junkie kind,” Noah confirms.
Wilder tries snagging another fry, and Noah smacks his hand. “What’re you two doin’ anyway?” she asks him.
“Waylon and I are makin’ rounds, scopin’ out the options for later.”
Noah balks and makes a face. “Gross. You two promised to work the lounge tonight.”
“We will!” He rolls his eyes, then grabs my beer.
“You can get your own, ya know?” I nod toward the VIP area.
“I know.” He grins smugly but walks away.
“That reminds me, Landen…” Noah looks at me with devious eyes. “You and Cecilia must be gettin’ serious already if she drove four hours here and back just to see you for one night.”
Fisher narrows his eyes. “That’s quick. Didn’t y’all just meet last weekend?”
“Didn’t you sleep with my sister the first night y’all met?” I scan my eyes around the arena. “In this exact place?”
Noah belly laughs when Fisher’s face turns red. “In fact, it is the three-year anniversary of our one-night stand. I told him we should recreate our first time. Wanna babysit Poppy for the night?”
When she waggles her brows, I mimic a gag reaction.
“Hard pass. And my relationship is none of your business.”
“I’m not judging, trust me. I like her. She’s pretty and seems nice. But I’m not sure why she’s interested in you, though.”
“Ouch!” I shove her shoulder, causing her to bump into Fisher. “Just for that, I’m not babysitting so y’all can’t get laid. Actually, I’ll crank my music to keep her up longer.”
Noah shoots me a death glare. “You wouldn’t dare. I know where you live.”
“Pfft. I know where you live, too.”
Our parents stop by with Mallory for a quick check-in. She pouts about not being allowed in the VIP area, but since she’s a minor, she can’t stay.
“In a few years, kiddo.” I grin. “And then you’ll be drivin’ us here.”
“Not me if you’re the one teachin’ her,” Noah teases.
“I’m gonna be a fabulous driver, thank you,” Mallory argues. “I’ve already memorized the student driver handbook for next semester.”
“If you can drive a four-wheeler and tractor like a pro, I have no doubt you’ll be fine with a truck,” I say.
“Thank you.” She nods firmly.
“Kiss ass,” Noah mutters to me.
The emcee finally announces that after dragging the arena and setting out the barrels, the event is ready to start with the junior division.
“I’m gonna grab a fresh beer and more snacks. Want anything?”
“See if you can find Magnolia and then scold her for being late,” Noah says.
Chuckling, I give her a mock salute. “I’ll get right on that.”
While I hang out in the VIP area, I grab my phone and text Cecilia to check she made it back safely.
Cecilia
Yeah, I’m home.
Landen
Glad to hear it. Can we talk when I get back?
Cecilia
Sure.
She’s pissed, and I understand why, but she’d be even more angry with me if I hadn’t told her the truth sooner.
By the time I return to the VIP section, I notice the barrels are more spaced out now.
“Is her division next?” I ask, standing behind Noah and Magnolia—who finally showed up. They’re right in front of the railing now with their ridiculous sign that reads Ride that horse like you stole him!
“Yep, she’ll be the second runner,” Noah says. “Get ready to scream your guts out.”
“Your brother will be rearranging my guts later, so I can’t do that,” Magnolia quips.
“Gross.” Noah laughs.
“You’re tellin’ me. I live above them.” I groan.
Magnolia pats his arm. “Oh, you poor baby.”
When the emcee announces Ellie’s name with her horse Ranger and mentions all her accolades in the pro rodeo, the crowd goes wild.
“Yes, Ellie!” Noah screams. “Go, go, go!”
Ellie smoothly rounds the first barrel and then quickly races to the next.
She looks beautiful as always in her pink cowboy hat and boots. Wavy, long blond hair flies around her neck as she twists around the second.
When Ranger rushes to the third, I get a better glimpse of her face. I notice her eyes are dazed and her cheeks are more flushed than usual. That could be from having to wait outside longer in this heat, but then I realize something’s off about her posture.
She should be sitting back with her arms stretched, but instead, she’s hunched as if she doesn’t have the strength to hold herself up.
As soon as Ranger makes the final turn, Ellie falls off him and smacks her head on the barrel before tumbling to the ground and then rolls until she ends up face-down in the dirt. I clutch Noah’s shoulder as an audible gasp echoes throughout the arena.
“Oh my God!” Noah sprints toward the exit to get down there, and I quickly follow.
My mind spins with a million questions about why she fell off in the first place. Based on how Ranger was turning, she shouldn’t have. Even on her worst training days, Ellie’s never fallen off like that.
The medical team rushes out while Noah and I run toward Ellie. We stay far back enough to give them room, but I keep my eyes on Ellie as one of the wranglers grabs Ranger and keeps him calm.
Noah quickly explains we’re Ellie’s trainers, and then they ask if she has any prior medical conditions or allergies.
“No, none,” Noah responds.
I can hardly breathe as I watch them check for a pulse and then place an oxygen mask over her face. Memories of Talia’s lifeless body resurface and the anxiety of what-ifs and worst-case scenarios sits on my chest. The last time I felt a panic attack come on this quickly was when I attended Tucker’s funeral. I still couldn’t believe he was gone when we’d just talked the night before he died.
A couple of the event’s sponsors rush over, trying to conceal Ellie’s body from the crowd.
“The ambulance is out front. Is she gonna be okay?” one of them asks.
One of the benefits of a larger pro rodeo event is they have their medical support team and ambulances on standby, so there’s no waiting to get her to a hospital.
“By the look of her pupils, shallow breathing, and hypotension, I wouldn’t be surprised if she had a seizure. Won’t know for certain until we get her to the hospital.”
My heart stops and it’s at this moment I know why I can’t kiss another woman.
Because it only beats for Ellie.
I think it has since the moment I met her.
“A seizure? Holy shit,” Noah blurts out.
Moments later, they put Ellie on a stretcher and carefully move her out of the arena. Before I follow, I grab Ellie’s pink cowboy hat that flew off because I know she’ll want it when she’s conscious.
Once I’m outside with Noah, we watch as they put her into the back of the ambulance and drive away.
“She’s gonna be okay,” Noah mutters, clinging to my arm as if she needs to say the words aloud for them to be true.
But I’ve never been more scared in my life.
Hospital waiting rooms are the bane of my existence.
It’s cold, too damn quiet that it’s eerie, and the receptionist never knows when the doctor will come out to talk to you.
Noah and I have been pacing for two hours. Some of the others nearby have been giving me dirty looks, but I can’t just sit and do nothing.
She called Ellie’s parents and they’re on their way now, but it makes me question why they weren’t here in the first place. Her dad normally travels with her, but she never said why they wouldn’t be there this weekend.
Finally, after another hour, one of the doctors approaches us. He tells us she regained consciousness earlier, but they’re keeping her overnight for observation since she showed signs of an epileptic episode and also has a concussion. Since we aren’t immediate family, he can’t answer any medical questions or tell us anything more without her present.
“Is she alert?” I ask.
“Somewhat. She was experiencing some discomfort, so we gave her some pain meds before the CT scan, which made her quite drowsy.”
Noah frowns. “Can we see her?”
He nods and then leads us through the doors. Nervously, I scrub my sweaty palms down my jeans and then lift my baseball cap to run my fingers through the strands. As soon as I walk into her room, my heart shatters all over again.
The makeup she wore earlier has faded and too much blood has drained from her cheeks, making her look like a ghost. A large bandage covers one side of her head and she’s connected to a blood pressure cuff that’s currently squeezing her arm. Seconds later, the numbers appear on the monitor and it seems to have gone up some since the last time it took a reading.
A nurse who’s adjusting her blankets greets us, and when our eyes meet, she offers a tender smile.
“I’ll give y’all some privacy, but you can press the call button if she needs anything.”
“Thank you,” Noah says, standing beside Ellie and then taking her hand.
Once the nurse leaves, I stand on the opposite side and stare at Ellie. I’ve never seen her so peaceful before and it almost feels intrusive to see her this vulnerable.
Even if she hates me, I’ll always think she’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.
“What’re you thinkin’?” Noah asks after ten minutes of silence.
I sigh, exhaling deeply. “Wonderin’ what her first insult to me will be when she realizes I’m in here.”
She chuckles softly. “Probably call you out for starin’ at her like that…”
That makes me grin because I haven’t exactly made my crush on her a secret. “At least then we’ll know she’s fine if she wakes up scoldin’ me.”
When they haven’t kicked us out after thirty minutes, I grab a chair and sit next to her.
“I’m gonna step out and call Fisher,” Noah says, and I nod.
I take the opportunity to slide closer and grab her hand. Noah was holding the other before, and I don’t want her to feel alone.
Even if she’ll wake up hating me for it.
My phone vibrates, and I dig it out of my pocket to find several texts. A few from Cecilia that I don’t plan to respond to until later, my mom asking for an update, and Wilder in the sibling chat complaining about the lack of options at the lounge.
Like that’s ever stopped him.
After I respond to my mom and hit send, Ellie’s fingers twitch in my palm, and I snap my head up to her looking at me.
“Oh shit.” I jump in my seat. “Sorry, you scared me.”
Her brows furrow as she studies me and then moves down to where we’re touching.
“Noah’s on the phone with Fisher, but she’ll be back,” I tell her, moving my hands to my lap.
She stays quiet as her eyes roam over my face as if she’s seeing it for the first time.
“Sorry…I’m probably the last person you wanted to wake up to.”
When she doesn’t respond, I stand. “I’ll go find Noah.”
“Okay,” she finally speaks, but her voice is hoarse.
When I step into the hallway, Noah’s giving the doctor Ellie’s parents’ numbers.
“Hey, uh…she’s awake.”
Noah beams. “Oh good!”
The doctor follows us into Ellie’s room, who’s sitting up a bit higher now with a little more color in her cheeks.
He introduces himself as Dr. Murray and explains everything to her he told us earlier.
“I had a seizure?” she confirms when he finishes speaking.
“That’s what the initial exam and bloodwork are showing. Do you have a history of those?” he asks.
“No…never,” Ellie responds. “What happened exactly? How’d I get here?”
“You came in presenting hypotension, which is a sudden drop in blood pressure, but it’s possible something else correlated with it to trigger an epileptic episode. It was an unfortunate event that it happened while you were on your horse, which caused you to fall and smack your head on the barrel and then gave you a concussion,” Dr. Murray explains. “But the good news is the CT scan showed no signs of swelling or internal bleeding in your brain, and some of your bloodwork is still pending, but so far, nothing that makes me believe you have any kind of organ failure or infection.”
“That’s good, I guess,” Ellie says, but then looks at Noah with panic in her eyes. “I don’t remember any of that. It happened while I was in the middle of racing?”
Noah sheepishly nods.
“Is that normal?” Ellie asks the doctor.
“Most people don’t remember their traumatic events,” Dr. Murray says. “I’d say that’s quite common.”
Reminds me of when Tripp got one during high school while playing football. He didn’t remember anything from that whole day.
“Wait, is Ranger okay?” Ellie asks Noah.
“He’s fine. Fisher told me they got him back in your trailer unharmed.”
She presses a hand to her chest, breathing out a sigh of relief. “Good. He must be so scared.”
“So you have no memory of the race or before it?” Noah prompts. “Not even Magnolia, Landen, and me screamin’ for you? I made the coolest sign.”
“No…it’s blank. I don’t even remember going to the rodeo. The last thing I remember is arriving at Uncle’s ranch. Wait, no, Easton’s uncle’s ranch. Anything after that, I’ve got nothin’.” Ellie rubs her temple, then tilts her head in confusion. “I thought you were married to Fisher. Who’s Landen?”
Noah’s eyes widen as she looks at the doctor and then points to me. “Landen. My brother.”
“Ohh…” Ellie studies me, and a whirlwind of thoughts enters my mind. “I figured he was one of those hospital volunteers who keep patients company or whatever. I did think it was weird how he was just stickin’ around, but I figured hey, he’s cute, so why question it?”
Noah chokes out a laugh, blinking rapidly. “You don’t remember him at all?” When Ellie shakes her head, Noah adds, “You’ve known him for four years. He’s helped train you.”
“There’s a sense of familiarity, but I don’t remember knowing him.” Ellie glances from me to the doctor, panic written on her face. “Is that normal for me to forget people?”
Great…she hates me so much, her unconscious mind completely erased me from her memories.
Talk about a gut punch.
“With a concussion in addition to an epileptic episode, I’d expect you to experience some memory loss or brain fog,” he says.
“For how long?” Ellie asks.
One of his shoulders lifts as he purses his lips. “Typically, a few days. But in some cases, it can take weeks or months. Sometimes it never comes back. With your injury, it’s hard to say. Everyone recovers at their own pace. The key will be resting and not overdoing it.”
She’ll probably just randomly remember and then hate me even more.
“But I’m not dying, right? I know you said there are all these possibilities of what caused this and you’re still waitin’ on some of my test results, but overall, I won’t die probably?”
The doctor’s mouth curves into an amused grin. “No, not on my watch anyway.”
Ellie exhales sharply. “That’s halfway reassuring.”
Dr. Murray checks the time. “I’ll be back to discharge you tomorrow afternoon, assuming you don’t experience any worsening side effects like more vomiting or having another seizure—so don’t do that if you wanna go home.” He smirks. “The nurse will go over your recovery, restrictions, and scheduling your follow-up before you go.”
“Sounds great. Thank you.” Ellie grins.
Once he leaves, Noah sits on the bed next to her. “What’d I tell you about not being allowed to die on me?”
“At least not tonight.” Ellie snorts. “Did I fall gracefully at least? Oh wait, who won?”
“Uh, no. It was terrifying. I never want to witness that again. And honestly, I dunno. We left right away and none of my family stayed.”
Ellie leans back against the pillow as if she’s fighting to keep her eyes open. “I swear to God, if Marcia Grayson won, I’ll never hear the end of her gloatin’.”
Noah snickers. “Unfortunately, she may win now that you’re gonna be out the rest of the season.”
“What? Why?” The panic in Ellie’s voice makes me sad for her because I know how much she loves racing.
“Recovering from a concussion can take weeks, sometimes months. Plus, you have a huge bump on your skull.” Noah points to her bandage. “It’d be irresponsible to let you compete in this condition.”
The corners of Ellie’s eyes fill with tears, and I wish more than anything that I could scoop her up in my arms and comfort her.
“Are my parents coming?” Ellie asks.
“Yeah, they should be here in a couple hours. They were tryna get ahold of someone to come sit with your aunt.”
Her brows furrow, but I’m not sure which part confused her. I’m quickly realizing I don’t know much about Ellie at all. Like where she lives or who her aunt is.
“I should get back to the campsite to check on Poppy and let you get some rest,” Noah says, but I’m tempted to argue because I don’t want to leave her.
“Okay.” Ellie meets my stare. “Would you be able to stay? At least until my parents get here?”
I’m so taken off guard that my brain freezes for a solid ten seconds.
“Oh, um…yeah. I could do that.”
Noah narrows her eyes at me, secretly telling me this is a bad idea, but I don’t care. Spending quality alone time with Ellie? I can’t pass this up. Plus, if I told her no I’d hurt her feelings.
“I can grab an Uber back,” I tell her.
Ellie smiles wide, and it feels wrong to enjoy it because in normal circumstances, she’d never smile at me like that. But I can’t help the way my stomach does that stupid flutter thing at seeing her reaction to me.
“I’m just gonna use the restroom quickly and then I’ll walk you out,” I tell Noah before closing the bathroom door behind me.
There’s no way I’m letting her go through a dark parking lot alone at midnight.
My head spins at the unexpected situation I’m in and although I should feel guilty about stealing this time with Ellie, I can’t. If she has no memory of hating me, maybe she’ll realize she likes me more now than when she hated me before.
After drying my hands, I reach for the door handle but then hear Noah say my name and pause.
“Why’d you ask Landen to stay?” she asks.
Kind of a rude question, but I want the answer, too.
“Um…because he’s hot?”
“My brother?”
“Yeah.”
“Landen?”
I roll my eyes at Noah’s insistence to keep asking her.
“Yes! Do you think he likes me?”
If my heart wasn’t already racing at how insane this situation is, it’d be rocketing to the fucking moon right now.
“I-I’m sorry. I know you have a concussion and you don’t remember him, but…what in the actual hell are you talkin’ about?”
I hold back laughter at Noah freaking the fuck out. Not that I blame her.
“What do you mean? Oh shit, is he married? I didn’t see a ring.”
Definitely not married.
“No.” Noah laughs again. “But you don’t exactly like Landen. Hell, I’d argue that you hate him.”
I pinch the bridge of my nose and contemplate barging out there to shove Noah out of the room just to shut her up. But I don’t because I want to hear what else Ellie has to say about me.
“Why would I hate him? He seems very sweet. Plus, he’s too hot to hate.”
“Actually, I dunno why because you never told me, but trust me. You can’t stand him.”
“So why is he here if I hated him so much?”
Question of the century. Because I’m stupidly obsessed with you.
“Well, Landen helped you train. Technically, he helped me help you train. And he was very worried about you, so he drove us here as soon as the ambulance took off from the rodeo.”
“Did he know I hated him?”
“Yeah, we pretty much all do.”
“So wait. You’re sayin’ he helped me train and came to watch me race even knowing I hated him?”
Noah pauses, then finally responds, “Yes.”
“That doesn’t sound right. What guy would do that for someone who doesn’t like them? I couldn’t have really hated him, then?”
“Trust me, you did.”
Goddammit, Noah.Put in a good word for me or something.
“Landen continued to be nice and supportive because he liked you. He tried for years to get you to like him back. But I guess he finally realized you never would and has a girlfriend now.”
Fuck my life. She really just threw out any ounce of hope I just had out the window.
“Oh…” Ellie’s voice sounds disappointed, and now I’m worried I’ve been in here too long. “Do you think it’s serious?”
Noah bursts out laughing. “Now I know they gave you the good pain meds if you’re pushin’ this hard for Landen.”
And that’s my cue to get out of here.
“Ready to go?” I ask Noah, trying to avert my gaze from Ellie as if I didn’t hear everything she said about me.
“Yep.” Noah leans over and carefully hugs Ellie. “I’ll check on you tomorrow first thing. Text or call if you need anything.”
“Will do.”
“I’ll be right back,” I reassure Ellie before we walk out the door.
When we get to the nurse’s station, Dr. Murray rounds the corner and stops us. “I didn’t want to mention this in front of Ellie, but seeing as you’re her friends and will be around her, I need to caution you on not telling her too much about the things she doesn’t remember. It’s better to let it come back naturally or it’ll just confuse her mind even more. She won’t know what’s a real memory and what she just remembers being told.”
I glare at Miss Big Mouth. A little too late for that.
“What if she never remembers?” I ask. “Do we share with her at some point?”
Dr. Murray crosses his arms, nodding. “Yeah, I’d say if in a couple months she needs help filling in holes of what she does remember, that’ll be fine. Most likely then, it’s a lost memory anyway and won’t come back. But in most circumstances, the brain fog leaves within a few weeks. She probably won’t remember the day of the accident and possibly the day before, but everything else should come back to her as her brain heals. It’s why she shouldn’t do any vigorous activity.”
Not sure if that should put me at ease or on edge. Either way, I wish I knew how long I had for this second chance at showing her who I really am.
Noah and I thank him, and then I walk her out to the truck.
“You sure stayin’ with her is a good idea?” she asks.
“Would you rather she be in there alone?”
“Her parents should be comin’ soon.”
“She asked me to. If I said no, I woulda hurt her feelings.”
She sighs. “Just please, don’t give her false hope.”
“About what?” I play dumb.
Her shoulders tense before she relaxes them. “She has a crush on you.”
“Oh!” I pretend to be shocked. “And why is that a bad thing?”
“Uh…because you have a girlfriend. And I know the moment her memory resurfaces, she’ll be livid to find out you two were alone together.”
“Her forgettin’ me and realizin’ she likes me just proves that she never genuinely hated me in the first place.”
“Maybe…but you don’t know that for sure. It could just be a side effect of her concussion and she’ll remember in a couple days how much she hates you.”
“Well, aren’t we the glass is half empty type,” I deadpan.
“Landen, I’m serious. Don’t string her along. Plus, you’re not a cheater.”
“Cecilia is not my girlfriend, so you can stop worryin’ about that.”
She rolls her eyes. “Title or not, you’re with someone. She was literally with you last night.”
Yeah, but she doesn’t know I rejected her. It’s why she left so soon.
“I will always treat Ellie with respect. That’ll never change,” I say, hoping to ease her concerns.
She pokes me in the chest. “You better, Landen Michael. I don’t wanna hear tomorrow that you have a black eye because she punched you when she remembers.”
“Good night, drive safe…” I goad, opening the door for her.
She huffs but then gets into the driver’s seat, and I shut it behind her. I watch as she starts the engine and then I wave as she takes off.
Now, back to my alternate reality where Ellie doesn’t hate my guts.
I can only hope she forgives me when she remembers she does.